Is it a good decision to marry some one who I know will always support me emotionally THAN marrying some one who I love ? I am not happy with the marriage in the former case and feels like a trap but probably things will get better?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, it is possible to be in love with more people at the same time. Can a man love his mother and his wife or his wife and his child?
So, love isn't restrictive but is encompasses within itself many relationships and yes it involves romantic relationships as well. But of course, society and hand-me-down beliefs will make you believe that it is all wrong and taboo.
On the other hand, being in love with two people or more causes a lot of confusion and entanglements; in your case, whom to choose? Besides, the emotional investment in each can be time consuming and energy draining. Keeping that in mind, it feels better that we have certain societal code of conduct to keep us sane.
And how do you choose a life partner? Simply list down your core values and if you are aligned on the long term value system and being with that person makes your life easier to be in and live in, then you know.
All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Aren't we always seeking for something that we lack within us?
Why the yearning for a particular expression of love? And how are you so sure that this person that you met on the matrimonial site already is in love with you?
Having said this, the off and on relationship is a person who will express love in a way that he is comfortable with but that is setting you off...so the matrimonial person seems exciting in a way as it aligns with your way of expressing love.
When in a dilemma, put all the cards on the table...there are other things besides expressing love that goes into making a relationship and/or a marriage. Have you factored all of that?
- List down things that are important to you in a marriage and a spouse
- How compatible are the two of you in terms of emotional bonding?
- Do your respective family values match?
- What are your thoughts on money, children, travel, passion etc?
These questions are a good start point exercise with both the men...it will give you a fair idea as to who is more aligned to your way of life. Then you can go ahead and make your decision.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like I have already suggested:
What's more important is whether value systems match! That list should give you a better idea on how to proceed further.
"It's not just what is important but how much each of you place importance on the same things that will help you step out of this dilemma."
So, rather than stick to the dilemma, find a way of coming out of it...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many couples find a similar challenge of sexual intimacy after having children. It requires the couple to communicate with one another and much before experiencing the childhood phase. The husband and wife are not even aware of how life is going to change with a new-born with waking nights and caring for the child 24*7.
And slowly this change becomes a cause for misunderstanding between the couple and small fights lead to bigger disappointments. Here is where the gap widens...the gap is easily not available for other people to step in which is what has happened in your case.
And then the adventure has become a nightmare with the other lady demanding her pound of flesh. Think wisely...you have a wife and a family and a responsibility that comes along with it. Isn't it possible to work on the issues that you and your wife had? You ran away from the issues only to find solace externally. How is the new relationship going to work? The same issues may crop up somewhere there too...Make a wise choice...Fill that gap with understanding, love and trust!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Appearance does not last a lifetime. Are you sure it is that important for you? After all, you fell in love with a man whose appearance isn't his best quality. Makes me wonder if you are just giving into the societal construct of wanting to marry for good looks.

Next, if you are concerned about your future in his house, it is best not to rush anything in terms of getting married. Think about it; have a clear discussion with him about the kind of future he can offer you. Love isn't the only thread that holds onto a relationship.

I cannot tell you if you should pursue this relationship, but I can tell you that you shouldn't break up with someone because they are not fair or handsome by your standards.

Best Wishes.