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Anu

Anu Krishna  |789 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SAIBAL Question by SAIBAL on Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, Off late i got in touch with my ex girlfriend. We planned to get married but it did not happen. We both are suffering from abusive spouses and underwent a lot of turmoil for last three decades. We both find solace in chatting and talking to each other. Should we continue to remain as friends?

Ans: Dear Saibal,
Your question has been answered here:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/off-late-mate-ex-flame-mind-due-reason-other-did/5146672

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |789 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

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I'M 40 years old man, i have had troubled childhood. I faced abuse from my elder brother who later on developed mental health issues whiich broughg lot of stress to the family. I worked very hard to achieve reasonable professional success but my personal life has been very difficult. I got married with lot of difficulty despite being well placed professionally and decent looks. It was an arranged marriage but things went bad after a year. I caught my wife having an affair with her ex but i fogave her for the sake of myndaugher who was just 1 year old then. She keept on having flings with gym instructor and later on her colleagues which i dont have any proof of. She would humilate me in front of my maid driver and other people. But i wanted ti save my marriage for the sake of my daughter who was only 4-5 years old then. Finally she started asking me for divorce after every trivial fights. Fed up i finally agreed and we separated in 2021 November. During that time i came in contact with my school friend. She proposed to me during our school days but due to stress at home and other issues i said no but i always liked her. When we started talking around December 2021 and we realized we still love each other after 20 years. But problem was though i was divorced she was still married and she is from a different religion. She is trying hard to get separated from her husband but her family being very conservative is not allowing her to do so. I'm stuck with her emotionally. Now my ex-wife has started approaching me for reconciliation. Im totally confused now what should i do? Should i wait for my friend knowing that chances are very slim that her family would leave her. Or should i patch up with my exwife for the sake of my daughter. I dont feel any emotional connection with my exwife now as she was never nice to me. But my parents are telling me to go for patch up. They are nkt aware about my school friend and i doubt they would approve her due to religious beliefs. Pls guide me I'm totally confused. Thanks A confused Homo Sapiens
Ans: Dear Pratik,
At this point in time, choose neither. You need space to clear your head first.
Too many emotional situations to jump into one more...Give yourself time to figure out what is that you want out of life?
Do you want to get into another commitment in a short gap? It could be an attraction on a rebound as well; so take time to figure these things out well before you decide to patch up or wait for your friend.
You deserve this time off, to make sure that you not only heal from the marriage but also put things in perspective.
So no need to bring on a new confusion for the time being till you get strong enough in the mind to decide the next course of your life. Making a choice right now means you will be bringing in more confusions of either of the two women into your life as well. So, PAUSE and take this time...

Best wishes!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |789 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2023Hindi
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I'm 58 now, since he age of 18 I was in love with a neighborhood girl. She was Hindu but I a christian. Her family was comparatively well to do . This prompted me to keep myself from expressing my feelings, I got myself a job and waited to have some financial independence. In the meanwhile she fell in love with someone else and also moved to the US, I was too late in expressing my feelings to her, and I told her under the condition we remain friends. After she moved we kept in touch thro' letters or an occasional phone call in the late 1980's. In the begining of the 1990's both of us got married to different partners , but continued to keep in touch as friends, which both our partners were aware. We used to meet personally whenever she would come to India, which was once in a year or sometimes even 2/3 years. We both have 2 boys each and the boys are now in their 20's. A couple of years ago she got divorced as her partner was in a physical relationship with someone else. In the meanwhile I continued with my wife even though we were totally incompatible and we literally hate each other. We didn't think of divorce coz of social pressures and in my case I've gifted her a major chunk of my immoveable assets but I earn rent on these properties which helps me meet y daily expenses. Over the last 2 years I had 2 heart attacks. the second one brought us both very close as she was concerned about my health, she came down to India and spent a few days motivating me to lead a healthier life, which co incidentally my wife never does, instead blames and nags me on my lifestyle. We have never had a physical relationship, at the most when we meet it's a warm peck on the cheek or just holding hands. Now I am getting back to my teenage years, I'm madly in love with her and want her. I know for sure if I do that my children would disown me and I'll lose a large part of my property which gives me a earning. I want her. I'm right now confused, illogical and very emotional.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do realize that you have had to wait for this long for your love to be recognized and reciprocated as well. But that's the Nature of Time, If something does not yield a result at that moment, even if it fruitions later in time, it may not be very conducive to the people involved as everyone has grown in that particular relationship to form situational bonds. Meaning, you and she have become parents and your wife is still part of this equation.

It's not wrong to feel what you are feeling; but do not compare both the women. If your friend never existed, you would have had a different opinion on your wife altogether. Marriage is about accepting your partner at the core for who he/she is.

Now, let's take your situation and break it down. Suddenly, your friend who was married and because of which you respected boundaries is suddenly no longer in a marriage. So, that has given you an opportunity to think of how your life could have been with her and is tempting you to think of it. I understand that your health conditions would also have urged you to live life to the fullest. But, you are still married and you have a lot of financial tie-ups with your wife. Your friend possibly might not even want what you want. Plus, the children...it's one huge complication...

Should you not live your life? Yes, you must and should BUT do weigh what you might lose for what you want to gain. Are willing to risk it for the sake of love? It's the only logical way to approach this situation.

All the best!
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Hi , I am Jose. I have a very complicated relationship issue. I loved a girl when I was about 18, she was from a financially better off family. This was a major reason that I hesitated to tell her about my love, instead remained a friend. She was better qualified too. I started working and wanted to be in a financially better situation before I confessed my love for her. In the meanwhile she got herself admitted in a college in the US, I decided to tell her, but was too late, she had already committed herself to her senior in college. We made a promise to each other that we will remain friends. We kept in touch through letters. Then I decided to get married as per the family wishes. Shortly she too got married to her boyfriend . We told our partners about each other. We continued to keep in touch thro email and phone calls once/twice in a year. We would meet once or twice every time she would visit from the US. We never had any physical relationship at the most it would be a peck on the cheek or just holding hands. We immersed ourselves in our personal / professional lives. We had 2 sons with our partners. Now the boys are in their 20's. In the meanwhile she found out her husband was having a relationship with some other woman, in the ensuing arguments it led to their divorce a couple of years back. Since 2021 I had 2 heart attacks, and survived. All these years I never had a happy life , we stayed together due to societal pressures and in the last 2 years we never had a physical relation too. She always had a hatred towards physical relationship. I hate forcing myself on her, so we have remained seperate in the last few years. After my 2nd attack, my friend helped me stop my smoking and somehow our chats on whatsapp or personal meets when she comes here have started becoming very mushy and with a lots of deeply loving words. I know I cannot divorce my wife as I would lose a lot of my immovable properties on which i depend for my rental income as I have actually gifted my wife a lot of my properties. Nowadays I am getting drawn towards my friend again and very strongly. Confused, and not knowing how to proceed. I am no longer working and depend on rentals for my earnings.
Ans: My dear friend,

It sounds like you're in a very complicated situation, and it's understandable that you feel confused and unsure about how to proceed. It's important to take some time to really think about what you want and what's best for you, as well as consider the impact of your actions on those around you.

First, it's important to acknowledge that your friend is currently in a vulnerable position after going through a divorce. While it's natural to feel drawn towards her, it's important to make sure that any actions you take are respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs.

At the same time, it's also important to consider your own needs and desires. You mentioned feeling unhappy in your current relationship and feeling drawn towards your friend again. It's important to really examine those feelings and think about what it is that you want in your life and your relationships.

However, it's also important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. You mentioned that you cannot divorce your wife without losing a significant amount of your income, and that you've already gifted her a lot of your properties. It's important to consider the financial and emotional impact that divorce could have on both you and your wife, as well as any children or other family members who may be affected.

One possible option could be to explore couples therapy or marriage counseling to see if there are ways to improve your current relationship and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your feelings, but to do so in a way that is respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs as well.

Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed is up to you, but it's important to take the time to really think things through and consider all the potential consequences of your actions.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |789 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

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Off late i mate ex flame of mind. Due to some reason or other, we did not get married. Both of us have abusive partners. We are suffering a lot in our respective marriages. Shall we continue our friendship? We find lot of peace in talking with each other.
Ans: Dear Saibal,
Obviously after meeting after ages, the spark will be rekindled and your existing lives with your spouses are not going to look any great.
Ask yourself:
What will I risk by indulging into a connection outside of marriage?
How much of a connection do I want to have with my ex-flame?
Will I be able to keep to only a friendship?
Will my ex-flame also be able to draw the line where and when necessary?
Are we both going to be able to be mature about this and strictly maintain a connection that is healthy?

Also, it's okay to find peace by talking to one another; but don't get dependent on it. Find a way to seek that within relationships that are for keeps...otherwise, the focus will shift to maintaining the relationship outside of marriage and there will be less attention on the marriage. Then sooner than later, you will both find your marriage even more dull and boring.
I do not understand what you mean by 'abusive' partners as you have not provided enough data for me on this to use in my response to you...
Also, I am unaware if there are children involved in this equation on both sides...If YES, tread carefully as you do not want to be rocking the boat on that one...Children getting impacted at whatever age can be very tedious on them!

Bottom line: if both of you are mature about this friendship and not use each other as emotional crutches, then you know you are in the right place. Growing in any relationship and providing the space for the other to grow is a pillar that you should work on. Now you know, what you are looking at, right?

All the best!
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Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2024Hindi
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Eventhough you are ready to Grab the oppurtunity and behave in flexible manner When you are not working currwntly it becomes nightmare to join a job once again HR dept, Interview panel Sr Mgmt dont look for Solutions to their Requirements posted online whether it is Naukri or Indeed or Linkedin Getting selected but not finalising Putting Selected candidates on hold for 2 to 3 / Even 3 to 6 months shows worst economy In india especially post covid scenario Not able to recover in career to bring myself back on track after innumerable attempts Location constraints Language constraints Relavang exp / Relavant ind constraints Age constraints Slow Decision making from Corp Mgmt and BUSINESS HEAD / MD / CEO Facing rejection with cool attitude
Ans: Thank you for sharing it to me. It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, and I understand how frustrating it can be to navigate the job market, especially in the current economic climate. Here are some insights and strategies to help you cope with these challenges:

Despite facing setbacks and rejections, it's essential to remain persistent and resilient in your job search. Keep applying to relevant positions, refining your resume and cover letter, and reach out your professionals network in your industry and consider broadening your job search criteria to include a wider range of industries, roles, and locations to help yourself. Invest your time in continuous learning and skill development to enhance your qualifications and make yourself more competitive in the job market by pursuing certifications, online courses, or workshops relevant to your field to stay updated with industry trends and requirements. Try to attend industry events, join professional associations, and leverage online networking platforms like LinkedIn to expand your professional network and access potential job leads. Despite the challenges you're facing, try to maintain a positive mindset and focus on the aspects of your job search that you can control. Keep practicing self-care, stay motivated, and celebrate small victories along the way to stay resilient in the face of adversity.

Always remember that setbacks and challenges are a natural part of the growth process, and it's essential to persevere and adapt your approach based on your experiences. Stay proactive, keep learning and searching better jobs, and trust that your efforts will eventually lead to success. Best of luck! Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further assistance or help.
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Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am 27 year old. Single . Working in a psu as a manager. I hate my job. I am not that great at study. I really want to earn a lot of money, travel and retire at the age of 45-50. But I don’t know how ? Should I do mba ? At this age ? I am middle class ! UPSC ? Learn coding? Stop dreaming?
Ans: It's reasonable to feel dissatisfied with your current job and to aspire for more. Considering your age, career stage, and goals, here are some considerations and potential paths you could explore:

Pursuing an MBA can be a valuable option if you're seeking to advance your career, switch industries, or develop managerial and business skills. Many MBA programs welcome candidates from diverse backgrounds, including those with experience in public sector organizations. If you're interested in a career in civil services and have a passion for public administration, policy-making, and governance, preparing for the UPSC exam could be a viable option. Keep in mind that UPSC preparation requires dedication, perseverance, and thorough understanding of current affairs and the Indian administrative system. Learning coding and acquiring technical skills can open up opportunities in the rapidly growing field of technology as well. If you have innovative ideas and a strong desire to create your own path, entrepreneurship could be worth exploring. Starting your own business or venture allows you to pursue your passions, take control of your career, and potentially achieve financial independence. However, entrepreneurship also involves risks and uncertainties, so it's crucial to conduct thorough market research, develop a solid business plan, and be prepared for challenges along the way. Regardless of your career path, prioritizing financial planning and investments can help you work towards your goal of retiring early. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to create a personalized financial plan, explore investment opportunities, and establish a savings strategy that aligns with your income, expenses, and retirement goals. Finally, focus on personal development and self-discovery to clarify your values, interests, and priorities. Reflect on what truly motivates and fulfills you, and explore ways to incorporate those elements into your career and lifestyle choices.

Ultimately, there's no one-size-fits-all answer, and the best path for you will depend on your unique circumstances, strengths, and aspirations. Take the time to explore your options, gather information, and make informed decisions that align with your goals and aspirations. Remember that it's never too late to pursue your dreams and create the life you desire. Best of Luck! Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further assistance or help.
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Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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I have recently completed my Masters in Zoology; specialisation in Cell Biology & Cytogenetics. Also, I hold a degree of Bachelor in Science as well as Bachelor in Education. Right now, I'm in that stage of life where you see a lot of options in your career; though confused which one to pursue as in the developing scenario, I want something that gives good money as well as requires my knowledge. Need experts advice.
Ans: Given your educational background and specialization in Cell Biology & Cytogenetics, as well as your dual degree in Science and Education, you have a diverse range of career options to explore. Here are some potential career paths that align with your qualifications and interests:

You can pursue a career as a research scientist in academic institutions, government agencies, or private research organizations, work in the biotechnology industry in roles such as research associate, laboratory technician, or quality control specialist or work as a clinical laboratory scientist or medical technologist in hospitals, diagnostic laboratories, or healthcare facilities or work as genetic counselor to assess risk of inherited genetic disorders and provide information and support regarding genetic testing, diagnosis, and treatment options, or work as biology teacher, college lecturer, or educational consultant or work as a science writer or editor, writing articles, blogs, or educational materials on topics related to cell biology, genetics, and cytogenetics or work as a regulatory affairs specialist, ensuring compliance with regulatory requirements and guidelines for the development and approval of drugs, biologics, and medical devices.

Consider your interests, career goals, and desired work environment when exploring these options. You may also benefit from networking with professionals in your field, seeking informational interviews, or gaining hands-on experience through internships or volunteer opportunities to help you make an informed decision about your career path. Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further help or assistance.
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Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2024

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Hallo Sir, Myself Sanjay Agarwal. My daughter pursued her M.Sc. (physics) from Delhi University in 2010–11. But could not clear it and got back papers in two subjects. She joined the service as a teacher (TGT) in a reputed 10+2 school and, after that, got married. As she is also teaching the 11 and 12 standards (supposed to be taught by PGT) and the results of her students are extremely good, now she wants to complete her PG in Physics so that she may be allotted the class as PGT. Her school is also suggesting this to her, and they are ready to provide the necessary permissions for that. Please suggest that after 10–12 years of back papers in DU, is it possible to clear those back papers now? Or may you suggest alternatives so that she may complete her M.Sc. in Physics?
Ans: Thank you for getting in touch with me on Rediff Gurus. It's commendable that your daughter is considering furthering her education to advance her career. While clearing back papers after a significant gap may pose challenges, it's not impossible. She should reach out to the concerned department or administrative office at Delhi University to inquire about their policies and procedures for clearing back papers after a long gap. They can provide guidance on the possibility and process involved. If clearing the back papers is possible, she can start preparing for the exams by going through her study materials, seeking guidance from professors, and practicing past exam papers. She can also consider private universities and institutions as an alternative which are offering PG courses in Physics that may have more flexible admission and examination policies, if clearing back papers at Delhi University seems challenging. Kindly encourage your daughter to assess these options carefully, with determination and perseverance to achieve her educational and professional aspirations. Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further assistance or help.
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Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2024

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Hii, I am BCA passout student in year 2021, and currently I am pursuing LLB degree so at that time I am still confused to choose a career, so plz tell me what are the pros and cons of both degree and which degree makes money earlier and great future provide to me
Ans: Thank you for getting in touch with me. Choosing between a Bachelor of Computer Applications (BCA) and a Bachelor of Laws (LLB) degree can be a significant decision that depends on various factors including your interests, skills, career goals, and personal preferences. Here are some pros and cons of both degrees to help you make an informed decision:

Pros of BCA: Lucrative Job Opportunities, High Demand and Competitive Salaries,
Cons of BCA: Rapid Technological Changes, Job Competition and Work-Life Balance
Pros of LLB: Prestigious Career, Diverse Practice Areas, Stable Income, Advocacy and Social Impact
Cons of LLB: Lengthy Education and Training, High Competition, Work-Life Balance

When considering which degree may provide better financial prospects and a great future, it's essential to weigh your interests, strengths, career goals, and personal preferences. Both BCA and LLB offer promising career paths with opportunities for growth, success, and fulfillment, but the right choice ultimately depends on your individual aspirations and aspirations. Additionally, exploring potential career paths, networking with professionals in each field, and mentors can help you make an informed decision that aligns with your long-term goals and aspirations. Good luck! Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further help or assistance.
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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 29, 2023Hindi
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How to apply for internship in Rosell techsys pvt ltd
Ans: Happy to hear from you! To apply for an internship at Rosell Techsys, you can follow these instructions mentioned below:

First visit the official website of Rosell Techsys Pvt Ltd. You can also search for any internship openings on job portals as well such as Freshersworld, Shine, Indeed, Naukri.com or LinkedIn. Then look for internship opportunities that match your skills, interests, and career goals by paying attention to the job descriptions, requirements, and application deadlines mentioned on the website. Prepare your resume/CV highlighting your relevant skills, qualifications, academic achievements, and any previous internship or work experience and write a compelling cover letter expressing your interest in the internship position and explaining why you are a suitable candidate. You should customize your cover letter for each application to make it more personalized and impactful then submit your application through the company's official website or the job portal where the internship opening is posted. Please follow the application instructions carefully and ensure that you attach all required documents, such as your resume/CV and cover letter. After submitting your application, be patient and wait for a response from Rosell Techsys. If your application is shortlisted, you may be contacted for further rounds of interviews or assessments. Prepare for interviews by researching the company, understanding its products/services, and familiarizing yourself with the internship role and responsibilities. Be confident, articulate, and enthusiastic during the interview process. If you are selected for the internship, review the terms and conditions of the internship offer carefully, including the duration, stipend (if any), and expectations and respond to the offer promptly and confirm your acceptance of the internship position.

By following these instructions and presenting yourself as a qualified candidate, you can increase your chances of securing an internship opportunity at Rosell Techsys Pvt Ltd. Good luck! Feel free to contact me on Rediff Gurus if you need further guidance or assistance.
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