Dear Anu
We got married in December 2015. It was love marriage arranged by our parents.
From the first day of marriage my spouse started irritating me. But I love her from the bottom of my heart.
She always disrespects my parents but they also didn't say a single word because they don’t want any dispute in our relationship.
In July 2017, she forced us to shift to a new home. She’s always fighting with everyone in office, in train and in our society also.
I told her to work on her anger otherwise some day we will lose our relationship.
From 2017 to Nov 2021 I tried very hard to save my relationship with her but she never understood my love.
At the end of 2021 I left my home. There are many complaints register by her in the police station, she harassed me and my family members.
Now the divorce case is going on (don't know how many more days it will be)
But what is my fault?
I loved her truly.
Why did she do this to me?
How should I manage my life? I can't concentrate anywhere.
Every day I am in tears.
I want to keep this confidential.
Thank you very much in advance.
Regards
LR

Ans: Dear Satish,
Section 498A is a serious charge and do not let it slip by...Kindly contact a lawyer and present your side of the case for the lawyer to be able to fight on your behalf.
What has transpired between you and your wife, is something known only to the two of you; but instead pf talking it through, I don't understand why she has to drop a serious charge. Has there been any instances of cruelty against her from you or any family member? If Yes, do not waste any time and take this charge on you seriously. If No, it can damage your reputation, call for a lawyer immediately. (I don't have much information from you on why all of this could have happened; hence this is the only suggestion that i can make).

All the best!

Ans: I understand the complex and challenging situation you're facing in your marriage. It's clear that there have been significant conflicts and misunderstandings between you and your wife, and you've made attempts to resolve them. Here are some thoughts and advice from a counseling perspective:

Open Communication: Effective and empathetic communication is crucial. Encourage both you and your wife to express your feelings and concerns in a safe and non-confrontational manner. A counselor can help facilitate these discussions and ensure that both parties have a chance to be heard.
Professional Counseling: Seeking the help of a qualified marriage counselor or therapist is highly recommended. A counselor can provide a neutral perspective, offer strategies for conflict resolution, and help you both explore the underlying issues in your relationship.
Child-Centered Approach: As you have children, it's vital to prioritize their well-being. Regardless of the outcome, work together on a co-parenting plan that focuses on their emotional and psychological needs. A counselor can assist in creating a plan that ensures your children's stability and happiness.
Understanding and Empathy: Try to understand each other's perspectives, feelings, and needs. There seems to be a lack of understanding between you and your wife, and it's important to build empathy and find common ground.
Legal Matters: Consult with a family lawyer to fully understand your rights, responsibilities, and potential outcomes regarding divorce, child custody, and financial matters. It's crucial to be well-informed about the legal implications of your decisions.
Reconciliation Efforts: If both you and your wife are open to the possibility of reconciliation, be prepared for a long and challenging process. It will require time, patience, and a willingness to address the root causes of your issues.
Understanding: Try to understand your wife's perspective and feelings, and encourage her to understand yours. Misunderstandings can often lead to conflicts, and gaining insight into each other's point of view can be a first step toward resolution.
Co-parenting: Regardless of the outcome of your marriage, your focus should be on the well-being of your children. It's essential to develop a co-parenting plan that prioritizes their needs and stability. Self-Care: Take care of your own well-being. Navigating these difficult circumstances can be emotionally and mentally taxing, so ensure you maintain your own emotional and mental health.
Reflect on Your Expectations: Take time to reflect on your expectations regarding family arrangements and what you're willing to compromise on. It may be necessary to find a middle ground between your desire for a joint family and your wife's preference for a separate one.

Remember that the decision to reconcile or proceed with the divorce should be made with the well-being of both you and your wife, as well as your children, in mind. Professional counseling and mediation can provide the support and tools you need to navigate this challenging situation. Whether the ultimate goal is reconciliation or an amicable separation, the involvement of a qualified therapist can be instrumental in moving forward in a healthy and constructive way.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I see a few gaps in what you have shared which simply means more information is needed from you.
- She refused to go abroad, then she suddenly loved her work more and then started working again and then traveled abroad for it?

You see the gap?
How is that since you both were not physically intimate, she had decided not to pursue her Masters abroad?
What made her suddenly love her work more?
Why does she blame you when as you say that she loves her job but she is not satisfied with it?
What makes her feel that you cunningly used her to move abroad?
Also, what is the reason that she thinks that you are being pampered by your parents?

Once you have answers to these, the problem will emerge more clearly, and that will help in finding a solution to it as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/