Hi Anu Its been 2 years since I got married and hv a 2 month old son. My wife is a qualified engineer and I am a consultant. My wife is showing hatred and anger towards my mom and dad. She thinks that they pampering me unnecessarily since me being a single child. Also we had a plan to settle down in abroad and started working towards that plan since marriage. Because of this we failed to understand ourselves both physically and mentally. My wife got admission masters degree in foreign university which she refused to go because we did not get physically intimate then. Also she tried pursuing the masters course from online thus quitting her job. So I started trying to go and settle in abroad meanwhile concentrating on intimacy as well. But in this process she understood that she loves her work more than anything else.Thus she rejoined her job again to another department with which she did not get the job satisfaction In the course of time, i got a job offer abroad to a different country other than the one we targeted. My wife is now blaming me that i was responsible for all the mess that happened inher life. She thinks that i cunningly used her to fullfill my abroad dreams. Also since ours was a arranged marriage , i could not develop any feelings for her as she is very average looking at the beginning and now since she is showing hatred towards me and my parents , unnecessary divorse thoughts are peeping up. Please help

Hi Ma'am, I am 36 years old and got married in the year 2014. I wanted to be in a joint family but my wife does not like it from the starting days itself. My parents used to stay with me periodically but not continuously. We have 2 boy children now. During my 1st boy child naming ceremony, my wife's family created issues and threatened me and my mother with bad words and forced for a separate family which i never agreed. After that issue, my wife never returned to my matrimonial home. After lot of efforts from my relatives, we joined back again. But the personal vengeance of my wife on my parents still continued. She used to misbehave with them some times like not listening to my mother's words and she never used to help my mother on all the house hold activities. My mother used to take care of all the household works. In the mean time we are blessed with 2nd boy. She stayed in my house during her second pregnancy, her preganancy well assisted by my mother and me both financially and emotionally. But i used to tell my wife to do very small houshold activities to make her physically well fit for her normal delivery but she took that suggession in a wring way and considered it as a torcher. During her ninth month of her pregnancy she went to her parents house to write a competitive exam but never returned back instead she continued to stay there and returning back to my home. So it has been more than two years now that she left me. During this time, i visited for her birthday, her father died, me and my parents visited his funeral, i visited my sons birthday. So i almost did all my efforts to bring back her to my home but she refused all my chances. So I filed a divorce case since i dont have any hope in my marriage life anymore. But i wanted to live with her since we have two children. Any suggestions/advices please.

I am a 41 yr old man. Married for the last 17 yrs, my wife is now 37 yrs old. w are Bengalis but now due t my work stay in Bengaluru. we had an arranged marriage but soon after the marriage I found her to be very irresponsible, she had the mentality that her husband has to be responsible for all her whims & fancies without any expectation from her. Though her family was more like ours middle class & financially poorer then us Initially I thought that she will mature with time. Within 1 yr we had our 1st kid who is 16 yrs old & in 11th now. Thinking she will now be responsible as mother but found very little change & I had to force/push her to do maternal duties while I managed the other things despite myself working as an engineer in an mnc & she being a housewife. next year we had our 2nd kid. This pressure was reflected in my office & my performance suffered, anyway I managed to stay afloat. Giving her any family task always resulted in her doing a coverup job & when things went wrong I had to set it right as the family or there will be monetary loss. Obviously I used to tell her about all this, then she will be OK for 1-2 weeks then again back to same. Even taking care of the children there studies soon became my responsibility. One thing was good was our sexual life which what I understand she is good & this gave me somewhat something to bear her Though other factor like middle class mentality that parents should not move out for the kids sake kept me somewhat tied to her & tried to make myself happy.Last year around June she told me that she will like to leave me as she wants to marry one of her telegu friend's brother who works in Dubai now, given my above reason I was not very upset on hearing this but was worried about our kids the eldest then gave his 10th exam & younger was promoted to class 10. After some talks & persuasion she agreed that she will wait for 3 yrs ie the younger kid to complete her schooling & going to college, & also keep the whole things secret with only 4-5 people knowing it, this she has responsibly done. Now its 1 year & I am in a very bad situation & need your support first she is now completely without any responsibility of the kids or family, she just cooks the meals sees that the maids work & even if I tell her to look into what the kids are studying or take the small responsibility like waking them up or minor things like go to the shop etc , she simply declines & always she is busy browsing or chatting, in Feb her to be husband came to Bangalore & she spend 2 nights with him in a resort. I did not want the kids to know about all this as it will mentally disturb them so I had to make stories to them about there mom going to a friend's marriage etc. He is again coming in mid July & they are planning to go out again.. My delima is I can bear the whole thing with a glimmer of hope that our separation maybe avoided which makes a somewhat social negativeness for me my parents & my kids but am I doing the right thing or being desperate is what I should be? The second point is something which I am feeling very uneasy to write, though we have decided to separate & she is having sex with this guy but we are still have sex, I dont want to really worry that she having sex with me is cheating with her to be husband but as I told you before it is really relaxing & gives me the strength to bear all this... Please suggest what I should do, immediately leave her which will end the story though I am not really ready if I & the kids will be able to take the social slur or wait for another 2 years with the hope that maybe things will change

Dear Miss, I am not a good studious student nor had a good educational background during my schooling and engineering. I somehow managed to pass and get through. I searched for a lot of jobs after my degree but could not get a good one. The last one i got was an unpaid one too. Therefore i decided to pursue studies in UK. After i did two diplomas i got an internship job at a health care which was going good. All of a sudden my parents decided to get me married to a girl from my home country as they liked her and we believe in astrology a lot. The girl was very obedient and decent as per my parents knowledge. So i took leave from work place twice and went and got married , but due to this the project at healthcare went beyond my understanding and i was finding it difficult to cop up with that. Unfortunately, during a meeting the manager found out that my internship was way too much and decided to let me go. After that i decided to apply for my field job and soon i got one. Immediately after that i applied for a spouse visa for my wife. We use to quarrel over the phone several times as she wanted to do her internship in another city. Her phone used to be busy when i used to call at the later part. I was growing suspicious. But never mind i made a call to her and informed her that the spouse visa is sure to come so be ready. For about2-3 months i did not talk to her because it will cause more fight and i wanted her to realize that. I brought her gifts and birthday cake and a lot in the mean time. But my calculation was completely wrong. When the visa arrived i asked her to go for the interview, but she took a u-turn. She ran off to another city for a job. I also went back to my home country and enquired and urged her to go for the interview but she wanted divorce from me and filed a divorce case and harassment case against my parents. I decided to give a fight back which took away a lot of time and put my whole family into depression. Finally my parents went under pressure and decided to let her go by signing the papers without my knowledge. I was completely upset with this behavior of my parents and did not communicate with them for about 2 years. My mother's health was deteriorating also. i decided to take my sister in laws help too as she was from the same health care background. Thinking she can communicate or talk to her and make things easier. But she was a poison by nature and kicked me out of the house by making excuses. My brother was also against me and fought with me. I decided not to visit them anymore I also found out from few sources that my ex wife had sex with someone and did a abortion but that is not fully confirmed yet which happened just after my marriage mostly. Now my parents are worried and are taking effort daily to get me married with a divorced lady on the matrimonial websites. They somehow want me to get married and move further. But i am finding it very difficult, even though i makeup my mind i find one or the problem in the girls whom i meet on matrimonial websites. Either some have attitude or some have something hidden. Some have looks problem or some have less educational background I could not upgrade my knowledge due to all this problems in life, so , i had to settle with a low income pay at a warehouse kind of job. There is no promotion nor any upgradation there only dirty politics. I have applied for the UK citizenship this year by thinking i can move to another country and work or go back to India for sometime upgrade my skills and come back for a good job. I feel i am lost and there is nobody to help me out. I am getting older also and not in a good position to do the ware house job further. My brother keeps communicating with my father that he can arrange some job for me so not worry. But i don't feel like taking his help. kindly advise