I am 27 years old and I have been married for 3 months now.

Married life is already suffocating me may be because I never wanted to get married in the first place.

I knew my parents were not gonna let me be and will definitely get me married so I wanted to marry a guy of my choice at least (even if it is arranged marriage).

Anyways I tried all that I can to avoid this marriage because I didn't like the way this guy talked about certain things and we had no similarities. Except for the fact that my parents knew their family and he was educated there was nothing I liked about him.

I thought it was the right thing if my parent said that I wasn't interested in this proposal so I tried to make my parents understand.

I tried to discuss, argued, cried, stopped eating, did everything I could to stop but they wouldn't budge. Turns out he had already given his word.

My dad threatened me that he would take his own life if this marriage doesn't happen.

My entire life, every single decision was taken by my dad. From college, BTech, basically everything.

Since there was at least one thing that I gained out of his decision I didn't bother much. I gained a friend for life in my 12th standard and in BTech, I was able to meet lots of people and that to a certain extent changed my thought process.

Other than that since I was 15 I never got to do anything I ever wanted to do.

Well my dad's threat worked. I got married thinking maybe ... just may be there might be something that I might gain.

My parents are in Hyderabad and my husband works in Bangalore.

In the 3 months I lived with him, the first month it was just us and now my in laws stays with us.

Every second made me anxious. I keep thinking..what if they say something if I use my phone or if I sit down or spend some time at the balcony.

Apart from me being stressed, anxious and hating the situation I was in and losing lots and lots of hair, everything was fine.

My husband was always working. He works everyday till 10 pm and after my in laws came he spends all the time with his mom.

Well that didn't bother me, i just thought that he just loved his mom so much.

Nobody said anything until the day I mentioned wanting to come home as I had some work at my previous office.

Out of nowhere my mother-in-law mentions how I was not their 1st choice for their son. They had lots of proposals lined up but chose me because I am from Hyderabad even though I was fat and our family wasn't rich.

I didn't think it was right to say anything to her so I didn't say a word. On the day I was travelling to Hyderabad, my husband complains how I don't do the household work as much or help my mother in law. he says I sleep a lot.

He wants me to quit my job and sit at home. They have problem if I order clothes to where at home.

I work night shift so I tend to sleep during the day but I make sure to help my mom in law to a certain extent.

When it was just us in the 1st month it was me who did all the chores and I had to do WFH too.

I made it very clear to him that I will not leave my job which he didn't like and he asks me not to return and just stay at my parent's place.

I explained all this to my parents and they are trying to send me back as soon as possible.

Everybody who got involved in this like my parents, the uncle who brought the proposal says that it is my responsibility to change my husband.

I don't see how I can change a person who thinks that everything he does is right and it is wife's responsibility to initiate a conversation even if husband doesn't and he has his entire family backing him on this.

I cant seem to change my mind or my parent's mind. I can't seem to make myself like my husband.

At this rate I don't know if there is any future with him at all. I mean people who wants a maid and not a wife and who thinks this way and insults others.... I am not sure if they are gonna change.

My parents want to force me into this just for the fear that I might be left alone in life and more importantly for the reputation of the family but they don't think that in this marriage I will for ever be anxious and unhappy.

Please help and extremely sorry for the long letter.