Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |847 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SG Question by SG on Apr 21, 2022Hindi
Listen
Relationship

 Hello dear, How you handle a relationship where both have love for each other but are not living happily?
We are married for 18 years now and have two grown up children.
My husband is very good. But he is not expressive. I feel he is very dry and unromantic from the beginning. There is no communication between us...Verbal or physical.
I have developed a sort of aversion to him and feel suffocated. I am not able to behave normally with him. I am always upset. Though he is very patient with me.
He is very good as a person and has no flaws, but he is always occupied with his work or mobile. I don't know how to handle myself.
Please advise how to make the relationship happier though I have no desire to make any efforts now as I feel it's all useless.
He doesn't see any problem. He feels this is very normal. The romantic relationship is not real, it's filmy. This is reality.

I feel we have a very formal relation. Just for society and children's sake I am stuck to him. I don't want to leave him but I also can't live with him. What to do?

Ans:

Dear SG,

This seems to be a classic case of two opposites in a relationship which is most often the truth. Sometimes it’s a little extreme like in your case.

But even relationships like these can be managed very beautifully.

You can start by

  • Listing down the commonalities between the two of you
  • Developing a new hobby together
  • Appreciating and celebrating your differences
  • Being in a space of gratitude for the silent care and love that he offers

Once he knows that you are making that effort without accusing him or making him feel inadequate, talk to him about what your feelings are how every once in a while, you can be pampered and cared for.

Show him rather than complain. Some men do find it rather difficult to express their love and being very demonstrative.

It’s just a different approach to what you want; when all else fails, you need to try something new to reach your outcome…that’s all….

Most importantly, keep playing in your mind, all the wonderful things that you have shared up until now.

What you choose to focus, grows in the mind…so, focus on what you have, guide him towards what you want and always be in gratitude.

I wish you the most beautiful journey ahead.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |847 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu,I m 32 yr old girl and been married in arrange marriage with a guy he is also 32 it's been one year.He is very harsh to talk to and I get usually very hurt because of his words. I always feel like walking out of this marriage for peace. He is very unromantic and ungrateful. On top of this our views on marriage, togetherness and sex are very different. I never had sex with him till now. And I don't feel like having sex with him. There are many fights between us. The way his mother and father talk I feel stuck in my life.There is no progress in career because constantly we are under tensions. My past relationships were very nice and sweet so I always happened to compare him with my ex in my mind. I don't know what happens to me. When he comes close to me I stop talking breaths. We just cuddle each other and hug but other things like kiss and sex I don't feel to have. Please guide me as soon as possible.
Ans:

Dear RJ,

Is there any reason for not wanting to be sexually intimate?

Most often this is linked to some emotional distress or filters in the mind that you are unaware of and which could be interfering in the two of you coming closer together.

A good round of talks with your partner can help you express your exact feelings to him.

What is bothering you, what you feel you don’t receive from him, why is it that you are unable to reciprocate…these are a few things that you can discuss with him.

Also, spending quality time together can ease and spruce up things a bit.

Most often, we love throwing our feelings under the rug pretending that they will go away; but they don’t, they come back to haunt you at times that you least expect them to.

So, when you feel stuck, think of what you can do to get un-stuck? What are all things that you can think, feel and do to free yourself so that you not only feel good, but you also start to focus on things that matter; like for example your career.

Comparing one human to the another and expecting them to change and be someone else; could this be one of the reasons for you to not want the sexual intimacy?

Sex is one of the dimensions in a marriage and it can bring the couple closer.

So rather than thinking of what is going wrong, focus on how you can make things work and enable your partner to join this journey of bringing back finer and joyful moments in a marriage.

Be happy!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |847 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hey Anu ji I hope you are doing well.I am a 27-year-old woman, not married but engaged. I am a doctor by profession and we met through our parents. He is a pediatrician. I’m just MBBS. He is 33 and was damn good. Since the last few months there has been a sudden change in his behaviour and we have been fighting since then. We knew each other since a year and moved in together last October. I left my government job so that I could pursue my specialisation. I couldn't score a good rank due to which I couldn’t get admission. My parents are not rich enough for me to apply in a private college. He always abuses my parents saying they are not rich enough. He compares everything and has started talking to another specialist, a single woman. I am handling all house chores -- from laundry to cleaning, even emptying dustbin and making his cup of tea. He doesn't do anything except sleep, eat and work which is not so hectic because he is at a senior position.Is it right that we are having sex 2-3 times per day from so many months? Whenever I want to talk about something he asks for sex. If I say 'I need your attention and love' he gets grumpy and says 'you are always complaining.'Since this is my first relationship, I am comprising a lot. He didn't even remember our first anniversary or the day we met. In fact he stops talking to me since a month. He doesn’t pick up my calls or sees my messages. I have to call a third person to convey my message to at least pick up a call.Please help. I’m too stressed and even thought of committing suicide because I love him. But he doesn't love me from the last 3-4 months. I never get answers to my questions. He is like ‘I don't want to talk.’ He has become so egoistic and is behaving like a male chauvinist. I have to prepare for my exam too. Because of all this stress I have started having panic attacks and anxiety. I love him a lot but I can't stay in this relationship more. I can't bear the brunt. Only one-sided efforts are there from my side. He stopped making any efforts to reconcile or talk. I am an old school person. I lost my virginity to him but now I regret. Who will marry me knowing that I’m not a virgin anymore? Plzz help me
Ans:

Dear NK,

When a partner does not validate your feelings and uses sex as a means to deflect from the problem, it’s a red flag, right?

So, what exactly do you get by being with him? Love cannot be a means to sell your very existence no matter who that is.

Call out such behaviour. Compromises do not form part of any relationship, contrary to what’s told to us.

Mutual understanding and gentle acceptance and most importantly loving compassion is what any relationship is all about.

When those efforts of yours are not being met with love and instead it has been ignored, what else are you going to do?

Not being able to respect a partner’s family and instead insulting them to feel better or prove a point, how do you think it is going to be in the future?

Do you see these red flags or are you simply choosing to close your eyes and pretend that everything is fine?

Do the right thing, for yourself and your being and welfare. Be strong like the way that you always have been.

My best wishes to you!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
i had a love marriage 20 years back. we were in a relationship for 3years before that. but after marriage i realised the harsh reality. though we are in the same field, he prefers that i do all the househld work. we have two children 17 and 12 years old. he has also started neglecting his health. after work his only work is to sit on sofa , watch tv. he has gained a lot of weight, has started eating pan masala which i dislike. we also had no sex for the last four years. when confronted he always says that he is in no mood. last year i came in contact with his friend and once we had sex too. but the sad part is i dont really feel guilty about it. i have tried many times to talk to my husband about our sex life but he always ignores and put the blame on me that i have started growing old. however hard i try he is not able to have a erection, this frustrates me even more. he is very dominating at home too. what should i do ? everytime i try to think to move out of that marriage but am afraid of the society. since he is very caring in front of others. am worried about the kids too. please help what should i do? there is no use of talking to him, i have tried it many times. he is not ready to go to any councellor too.
Ans: It sounds like you are facing some serious challenges in your marriage and that you are feeling frustrated, unhappy, and trapped. It's important to remember that you are not alone and that many people find themselves in similar situations.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with support and guidance.

Take care of yourself: Make time for self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This can help you manage stress and cope with the challenges you're facing.

Consider couples therapy: Even if your husband is not willing to attend therapy, consider seeking therapy for yourself. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and emotions and provide you with strategies for coping with the situation.

Be honest with yourself: It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. If you are unhappy in your marriage and feel that it's unlikely to improve, it's okay to consider leaving the relationship.

Make a plan: If you decide that leaving the marriage is the best option, make a plan for how you will do so in a safe and practical manner. Consider the impact on your children and plan for their care and well-being.

Seek legal advice: If you decide to leave the marriage, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities.

Remember, leaving a long-term relationship is a big decision and can be a difficult process. It's important to take the time to consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |847 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu I have been married for 18 years with 2 teenage daughters. My husband has temper issues and I feel he is a perfectionist. He feels that whatever he says or feels is the only correct way to do it. I have a full time job though he earns much more than me. He travels a lot so I am the one running household, kids’ responsibilities, my own job and taking care of a bedridden father in law but nothing seems to matter. Sometimes I feel no matter how much I do it is never enough. I am wearing out, I have become irritated and cynical because of my marital relationship. I thought his anger will subside and he will mellow down with age but it seems to worsen. Something just keep my mouth shut so that he doesn’t pick up one more thing to put me down. I just don’t want to separate because I have 2 wonderful kids for whom we are one happy family. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's easy to get angry, throw the weight around and then make people around believe that 'This is who I am!'...
No! It's another way that adults behave having a temper tantrum and it's not okay...
Obviously, it will cause a huge strain in a relationship. In fact, if you and your husband had a better level of compatibility and understanding, the same situation at home with all the responsibilities that you are handling would not be weighing you down.
Emotional support can absolutely be a game changer for a couple who have young children and aged parents to care for and to be on the same page as a couple can help...
These anger issues have a source to them and hence need to be addressed...Else you will be stuck with the daily chores feeling the anguish and then the blame game will slowly begin...
Address this with a lot of patience (like you already have...) Communication between the two of you can take shape in the form of:
- Listening more than talking
- Expressing more than complaining

These small tweaks will first ensure smooth engagement between the two of you...and also, you should know...his anger can just be a form of him asking for attention but he does not know how to ask for it. So, it has to change from anger into expressing...
Does all this change take time? YES and constant and patient work...Marriage is work! And the benefits of bringing back a happy family is always seen in the children first...it's priceless...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am 35 years old. Married. Not living with husband since an year, as he flirted with an office girl (this is the extent of it that I caught) and has tendency to do so. He is not emotionally aware (of himself or me) and I keep getting hurt as I am quite emotional. Also, I am not on talking terms with his parents as they had tried to sabotage our marriage in different ways on countless occasions. My husband wont agree (not that I want him to agree), but I think that's one reason of our increasing differences. I love him, but cannot find in my heart to move back with him ever again. We have a 5 year old kid, due to whom I am unable to move ahead with divorce. I am stuck in the midst, not knowing where to go next or stay in this same 'married but separated ' position forever. I'm definitely happier without the everyday petty bickering that we had when we lived together (which was turning me into a bitter and angry person, I don't want to be that). I have turned extremely distrustful of him. I do feel very lonely at times. We also went to a guidance counsellor to make the relation work some 1.5 years back, but my husband felt its a waste of money after 5 sessions, also he never invested in the emotional sorting that the counsellor mentioned our relation required. Any guidance?
Ans: It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. Here are some steps you might consider as you navigate your next steps:

Take care of yourself first and foremost. This means prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and explore your options moving forward.
Take some time to reflect on what you want for yourself and your child in the long term. Consider what kind of environment you want to create for your child, as well as what you need in terms of emotional fulfillment and stability.
If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and feelings. Express how his actions have affected you and what you need from him moving forward. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may not be receptive or willing to change.
Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options regarding divorce, custody, and child support. They can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate the legal process.
Regardless of whether you choose to stay married or pursue divorce, prioritize effective co-parenting for the well-being of your child. This may involve setting clear boundaries, communicating openly about parenting decisions, and prioritizing your child's needs above any personal conflicts.
Consider exploring alternative living arrangements or custody agreements that may better suit your needs and preferences. This could include living separately while co-parenting, or exploring shared custody arrangements that provide stability for your child while allowing you to maintain some distance from your husband.
Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for additional support and guidance. It can be helpful to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences and can offer empathy, advice, and solidarity.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay married or pursue divorce is a deeply personal one that only you can make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own well-being and that of your child as you navigate this challenging process.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
Dear Guru,I need to create corpus of 5 crores in 10 years. im currently investigating of 46500 past one year. i have following mutual fund in my portfolio Hdfc sensex index 20k pgim midcap 3k motilal midcap index 3k sbi next 50 index 1k motilal micro index 46 icici prudential technology 1k quant small cap 7k parakpari flexi cap 5k axis small 2k. im private employee and earning of 140000 per month. so please provide suitable answer which created 5cr in 10 years also i have lic of 50k per year,ppf of 50k per year and nps 5k every month. my current age is 34
Ans: Your goal of accumulating a 5 crore corpus in 10 years is ambitious yet achievable with a strategic investment approach. Let's devise a tailored plan considering your current investments, income, and financial commitments.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your existing mutual fund portfolio comprises various funds, including index funds, mid-cap funds, sectoral funds, and small-cap funds. While diversified, it's essential to ensure alignment with your long-term goals and risk tolerance.

Designing Your Investment Strategy
Optimize Mutual Fund Portfolio:

Review your mutual fund holdings to ensure alignment with your financial objectives. Consider consolidating or realigning your portfolio to focus on funds with strong growth potential and consistent performance.
While index funds offer cost-effective exposure to market indices, actively managed funds may provide higher potential returns, especially in volatile market conditions. Consider maintaining a balanced mix of both.
Systematic Investment Planning (SIP):

Continue your SIPs in mutual funds, adjusting allocations based on your risk appetite and return expectations. Focus on funds with a proven track record of outperformance and robust fundamentals.
Increase your SIP contributions gradually over time, leveraging the power of compounding to accelerate wealth accumulation.
Opt for Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS):

ELSS funds offer dual benefits of tax savings under Section 80C and potential for wealth creation. Consider allocating a portion of your SIP investments to ELSS funds to optimize tax efficiency.
Supplement with Traditional Investments:

Your existing investments in LIC, PPF, and NPS provide a foundation of stability and tax benefits. Continue to maximize contributions to these instruments to diversify your portfolio and mitigate risk.
Regular Review and Rebalancing:

Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market dynamics. Rebalance your portfolio as needed to capitalize on emerging opportunities and mitigate risks.
Conclusion
By adopting a holistic approach to investing and optimizing your portfolio across various asset classes, you can achieve your goal of building a 5 crore corpus in 10 years. Stay disciplined, stay diversified, and stay focused on your long-term objectives to realize financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
I'm 26 years old and want to invest 50 k each in two ELSS schemes as a SIP to achieve a corpus of 1 cr. Is my strategy right? Or if there is a change can you please guide me accordingly. I've close to 10 lacs in FDs
Ans: Your aspiration to build a corpus of 1 crore through ELSS SIPs is commendable. However, let's evaluate your strategy and explore potential adjustments to optimize your investment approach.

Assessing Your Strategy
ELSS SIPs:
Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) offer the twin benefits of tax savings under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act and potential for wealth creation through equity exposure. Investing 50,000 each in two ELSS schemes through SIPs is a proactive step towards your financial goals.

Existing FDs:
Having close to 10 lakhs in FDs indicates a conservative investment approach. While FDs provide stability, their returns may not be sufficient to achieve long-term wealth creation goals, especially considering inflation and taxes.

Suggested Adjustments
Diversification:
Consider diversifying your investment portfolio beyond ELSS and FDs. While ELSS SIPs offer the potential for high returns, they also carry market risks. Diversification across asset classes like equity, debt, and real estate can help mitigate risk and optimize returns.

Review FD Allocation:
Reevaluate the allocation of your FDs. While FDs provide liquidity and stability, consider whether tying up a significant portion of your savings in low-yield investments aligns with your long-term wealth creation goals. You may explore gradually reallocating a portion of your FDs towards higher-yielding investment avenues.

Regular Review:
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. As your financial situation evolves, be prepared to make necessary adjustments to optimize returns and minimize risk.

Alternative Investment Options
Since you're open to suggestions beyond ELSS and FDs, here are a few alternatives to consider:

Equity Mutual Funds:
Apart from ELSS, explore other equity mutual fund categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to diversify your equity exposure further.

Debt Mutual Funds:
Consider allocating a portion of your portfolio to debt mutual funds for stability and regular income. Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and provide relatively lower but steady returns compared to equity.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):
SIPs offer the benefit of rupee-cost averaging and disciplined investing. You can explore SIPs in both equity and debt mutual funds to maintain a balanced portfolio.

Conclusion
While your strategy of investing in ELSS SIPs is a step in the right direction, consider diversifying your portfolio and reviewing your FD allocation to optimize returns and mitigate risks. A balanced approach tailored to your financial goals and risk profile will enhance your chances of achieving long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I'm 26 year old with a salary of 30 lac, I have a EMI of 50,000 and not yet married, I want to make a Corpus of 1 cr in next 5-7 years, how much mutual funds and FD or any other investment to achieve this.
Ans: Congratulations on setting a financial goal to build a 1 crore corpus in the next 5-7 years! It's an ambitious yet achievable target with the right planning and investment strategy.

Evaluating Your Current Situation
With a monthly salary of 30 lakhs and an EMI of 50,000, you're already on solid ground. Now, let's assess how much you need to invest to reach your goal.

Investment Strategy
Given your timeframe and goal, here's a strategic approach:

Mutual Funds:
Mutual funds offer the potential for higher returns compared to traditional fixed deposits (FDs). Considering your age and the long-term horizon, you can allocate a significant portion of your investments to equity mutual funds. These funds have historically provided higher returns over the long term.

Fixed Deposits (FDs) or Other Conservative Investments:
While equity mutual funds offer growth potential, it's essential to balance your portfolio with safer investments like fixed deposits or debt funds. These provide stability and can act as a cushion during market downturns.

Investment Allocation
Without knowing your current savings or assets, it's challenging to provide precise numbers. However, here's a general guideline:

Mutual Funds:
Aim to invest a substantial portion of your savings, say around 70-80%, in equity mutual funds. Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to diversify your portfolio and mitigate risk.

Fixed Deposits or Other Conservative Investments:
Allocate the remaining 20-30% to safer options like fixed deposits or debt funds. These will provide stability and liquidity to your portfolio.

Regular Review and Adjustment
As your circumstances change, such as salary increments or additional financial commitments, review and adjust your investment strategy accordingly. Regular monitoring ensures you stay on track towards your goal.

Conclusion
Building a 1 crore corpus in 5-7 years is feasible with a disciplined approach to investing and a well-diversified portfolio. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor an investment plan suited to your specific needs and risk tolerance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi, This is Murali, I am 61 years old, I have invested in NPS around 2 lacs. When I try to withdraw the same it is asking to put CKYC No. How can I get this number?
Ans: Understanding CKYC Number for NPS Withdrawal
Hello Murali,

I understand the frustration you might be feeling trying to withdraw from your NPS investment without the CKYC number. It's a common issue, but let's tackle it together.

What is CKYC?
CKYC, or Central Know Your Customer, is a centralized registry of KYC records for individuals, maintained by the Central Registry of Securitization Asset Reconstruction and Security Interest of India (CERSAI). It's an important identification tool in financial transactions.

Getting Your CKYC Number
To obtain your CKYC number, you can follow these steps:

Contact Your Bank/Branch: Your CKYC number is usually generated when you complete your KYC process with a bank or financial institution. Reach out to the bank where you completed your KYC formalities.

Online Portal: You can also check if your CKYC number is available on the CKYC portal (https://www.ckycindia.in/ckyc/index.html). Provide your PAN or other details as required to retrieve your CKYC number.

Customer Service: If you're unable to find your CKYC number through the portal or your bank, consider contacting customer service for assistance. They should be able to guide you through the process.

Why CKYC is Required for NPS Withdrawal
The reason you're being asked for your CKYC number during NPS withdrawal is because it's a mandatory requirement by regulatory authorities to ensure transparency and prevent financial fraud.

Conclusion
I understand the frustration of dealing with bureaucratic hurdles, but obtaining your CKYC number is essential for smooth financial transactions, including NPS withdrawals. Take proactive steps to retrieve your CKYC number, and if you encounter any difficulties, don't hesitate to seek assistance from your bank or financial institution.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi there, I'm 35 years old and working in PSU bank. I'm currently doing monthly SIP (41000) from 2023 in Tata Digital India fund - 3000, Canara Robeco emerging - 3000, Kotak bluechip - 3000, Quant elss tax saver - 2000, mirae asset large & midcap - 15000, Parag parikh elss tax saver - 5000, Nippon India small fund - 10000. I wish to reach target of 6-7 crore before retirement. Whether it's possible to achieve these goals with these funds ?
Ans: Given your current SIP investments and your target of accumulating 6-7 crores before retirement, let's assess the feasibility of achieving your goals with your existing portfolio:

Portfolio Assessment:
1. Diversification:
Your portfolio includes funds across various categories like large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and tax-saving ELSS funds, providing diversification across different market segments.

2. Fund Selection:
You've chosen well-known funds with strong track records and reputable fund houses, which is commendable for long-term wealth creation.

3. SIP Amount:
Your monthly SIP of 41,000 indicates a disciplined approach towards investing, which is crucial for achieving your financial goals.

Feasibility Analysis:
1. Goal Evaluation:
To assess the feasibility of reaching your target of 6-7 crores before retirement, consider factors such as your investment horizon, expected rate of return, and monthly SIP contributions.

2. Growth Projection:
Project the potential growth of your portfolio based on historical returns of the selected funds and adjust for market conditions and volatility. Use a retirement calculator to estimate the corpus required to achieve your desired retirement income.

3. Periodic Review:
Regularly review the performance of your portfolio and adjust your investment strategy as needed to stay on track towards your retirement goal. Consider increasing your SIP amounts over time to accelerate wealth accumulation.

Conclusion:
While achieving a corpus of 6-7 crores before retirement is an ambitious goal, it's certainly possible with a disciplined investment approach and prudent portfolio management. Continue investing regularly, monitor your portfolio's performance, and make adjustments as needed to maximize returns and work towards your financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I intend to retire in next 5 years. I have a son who is in class 9th. I have a share portfolio of 2 crores, PF+Gratuity is about 1 crore. I am 42 years old. I dont own a house currently but shall be having one in next 5 years, fully paid. I want a crore for my child education, otherwise my expenses are little, say 30k a month.
Ans: Considering your retirement goal in the next 5 years and your son's education fund target of 1 crore, here's a tailored plan to achieve your objectives:

Retirement Planning:
1. Evaluate Share Portfolio:
Review your share portfolio to ensure it aligns with your retirement timeline and risk tolerance. Consider diversifying into less volatile assets to safeguard your retirement corpus.

2. Optimize PF & Gratuity:
Maximize contributions to your PF and gratuity funds to bolster your retirement savings. Explore investment options that offer growth potential while prioritizing capital preservation as retirement approaches.

3. Plan for Housing:
Prepare a financial strategy to acquire a house in the next 5 years. Allocate funds towards a down payment and consider mortgage options that fit your financial situation. Owning a house can provide long-term stability in retirement.

Child Education Fund:
1. Set Targeted Savings Goal:
With a clear objective of accumulating 1 crore for your son's education, calculate the required monthly contributions to achieve this goal within the next few years.

2. Invest Strategically:
Utilize a combination of investment avenues such as mutual funds, fixed deposits, and education-oriented savings schemes to accumulate the desired corpus. Consider the risk profile and investment horizon to select appropriate instruments.

Expense Management:
1. Budgeting:
Review your monthly expenses and identify areas where you can reduce discretionary spending. Redirect these savings towards your retirement and education funds to accelerate wealth accumulation.

2. Emergency Fund:
Maintain a sufficient emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months' worth of expenses to cover unforeseen financial emergencies, ensuring your retirement and education goals remain unaffected.

Conclusion:
By implementing these strategies, you can work towards achieving your retirement and education goals effectively. Regularly monitor your progress, and adjust your financial plan as needed to stay on track towards financial security and fulfilling your aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 35 years old, have close to 70lakhs in stocks for msft, 10 lakhs in MF, monthly SIP of 5000 for Ppf and nps. And close to 5l in savings. I would want to retire in the next couple of years with a corpus of 2-3 Crores. Anything else that I can do differently to achieve this?
Ans: Given your current financial situation and retirement goal, there are a few strategies you can consider to enhance your retirement corpus:

1. Evaluate Stock Holdings:
Review your stock investments in Microsoft (MSFT) and assess whether they align with your risk tolerance and long-term goals. Consider diversifying your stock portfolio to reduce concentration risk.

2. Optimize Mutual Fund Investments:
Review the performance of your mutual fund investments and consider reallocating funds to better-performing funds or those aligned with your retirement timeline and risk profile.

3. Increase Monthly SIPs:
Consider increasing your SIP amounts for PPF and NPS to accelerate wealth accumulation. This will help you build a larger retirement corpus over time, especially considering the tax benefits associated with these investment avenues.

4. Explore Additional Investment Avenues:
Look into other investment options such as debt funds, real estate investment trusts (REITs), or alternative investments to diversify your portfolio further and potentially boost returns.

5. Budgeting and Saving:
Review your monthly expenses and identify areas where you can reduce unnecessary spending. Allocate these savings towards your investment portfolio to accelerate wealth accumulation.

6. Seek Professional Advice:
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to develop a customized financial plan tailored to your retirement goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences. They can provide personalized guidance and recommendations to optimize your investment strategy.

Conclusion:
By implementing these strategies and staying disciplined in your savings and investment approach, you can work towards achieving your retirement goal of accumulating a corpus of 2-3 Crores in the next couple of years. Regularly review and adjust your investment plan as needed to stay on track towards financial independence in retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
Dear sir , I have started my investment journey in 2017 and my goal is my kid education and retirement corpus. I am investing 5000 in SBI Blue chip, 3500 in ABSL frontline equity, 2000 in mira asset ELSS, 1500 in PPFAS flexi cap , 1500 in Quant active fund , 3000 in Motilal Oswal mid cap , 1000 in HSBC midcap , 2500 in HSBC small cap, 2000 in Axis small cap, 2000 in kotak small cap. Apart from this I am doing 1 lakh per year in PPF and 6500 in NPS. Is my investment are ok or it requires some balancing and next year I want to increase my investment should I increase in MF or NPS please guide. Regards.
Ans: Your investment journey showcases a diversified portfolio aimed at achieving your goals of funding your child's education and building a retirement corpus. Let's evaluate your current investments and provide guidance on potential adjustments and future contributions.

Current Investment Evaluation
Portfolio Diversification:
Your portfolio consists of investments across various mutual funds, covering large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and ELSS categories. This diversification helps spread risk across different market segments.

PPF & NPS Contributions:
Your annual contributions to PPF and NPS demonstrate a commitment to long-term savings and retirement planning. These tax-efficient investment avenues can significantly contribute to your retirement corpus.

Fund Selection:
While you've chosen well-known funds with a track record of performance, it's essential to periodically review each fund's performance and adjust your holdings if necessary.

Recommendations
Portfolio Rebalancing:
Evaluate the performance of each fund and rebalance your portfolio if required. Consider trimming or consolidating holdings in funds with overlapping objectives or underperforming assets.

Asset Allocation:
Ensure your asset allocation aligns with your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Consider increasing exposure to funds that complement your goals while reducing exposure to high-risk or redundant funds.

Increase in Investments:
With the goal of increasing your investments next year, consider allocating additional funds to well-performing mutual funds that align with your investment objectives. You may also explore increasing contributions to NPS to benefit from additional tax savings and retirement benefits.

Review Tax Implications:
Factor in the tax implications of your investments, especially in ELSS, PPF, and NPS. Ensure you're maximizing tax efficiency while optimizing returns.

Conclusion
By periodically reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio, aligning your investments with your financial goals, and considering tax-efficient options like PPF and NPS, you can continue to progress towards funding your child's education and building a robust retirement corpus.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 33 years old with an in-hand salary of 57,000 per month and planning to get to 65k-75k per month by this year end, recently started investing in Mutual funds. I have a fund of 2.5 lakh in the bank for emergency and marriage related expenses in the near future as well. My current investments for a 25 year horizon are- 1)- DSP NIFTY 50 equal weight index fund growth ETF 1000rs per month 2)-DSP Natural resources and new energy fund- 500rs per month (can stop if it's not the right investment right now) 3)-ICICI INFRASTRUCTURE growth fund- 1000 per month ( can stop if the investment is too risky long term) 4)-Nippon India nifty small cap 250 index fund- 500rs per month 5)-PF Deduction from Salary 1800 per month. 6)- PPF- 1000rs Per month I am planning to invest a total of 15,000 per month in the next 6 7 months including the above investment systematically in different mutual funds for various mixtures and then increase my investment along with my salary increment. I want to have 5 crore of total earning in today's Value in next 20- 25 years and also have a Regular retirement income of 25,000 after 25 years in today's money value. I dont have kids right now and am planning to get married and have kids in the next 1-3 years depending on the finances. I have "need" expenses (parents) of 10,000 per month and 10,000 (personal expenses) per month. I don't spend much on leisure as I am introvert and I usually spend time with friends hanging out, Can you Please suggest a way to achieve this Target or if I need to increase my investment?
Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards financial planning, especially with your long-term goals in mind. Let's break down your current situation and chart out a plan to achieve your targets:

Income & Expenses:
Your current in-hand salary of 57,000 per month is a solid foundation. It's excellent that you're aiming to increase it to 65k-75k per month by the year-end. This upward trajectory in income will provide you with more flexibility in managing your expenses and investments. Your monthly expenses of 20,000 (10,000 for parents and 10,000 personal) are well-understood, leaving you room to allocate the rest towards savings and investments.

Emergency Fund:
Maintaining an emergency fund equivalent to 6-9 months' worth of expenses is a wise move. Your emergency corpus of 2.5 lakhs covers this criterion, ensuring you're prepared for any unexpected financial emergencies without disrupting your long-term investments.

Investment Portfolio:
Your current investment portfolio consists of a mix of mutual funds and traditional savings instruments. While the DSP Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund and Nippon India Nifty Small Cap 250 Index Fund offer exposure to broad market indices, the DSP Natural Resources and New Energy Fund and ICICI Infrastructure Growth Fund provide thematic exposure to specific sectors. Additionally, your contributions to PF and PPF demonstrate a commitment to long-term savings.

Future Goals:
Your goals are ambitious yet realistic. Accumulating 5 crores over 20-25 years for retirement and securing a regular retirement income of 25,000 in today's money value after 25 years require diligent planning and disciplined investing. Given your plans for marriage and starting a family in the next 1-3 years, it's crucial to factor in these additional expenses and adjust your financial strategy accordingly.

Recommendations:
Review Existing Investments:
Regularly assess the performance of each fund in your portfolio. Consider discontinuing those that consistently underperform or no longer align with your investment objectives. Focus on funds with strong track records and robust fundamentals.

Increase Savings Rate:
As your income grows, aim to increase your monthly investments proportionately. A higher savings rate will accelerate your journey towards achieving your financial goals. Review your budget periodically to identify areas where you can cut back on expenses and redirect those funds towards savings and investments.

Asset Allocation:
Diversification is key to managing risk effectively. Consider diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes, including equities, debt, and alternative investments like real estate or gold. Maintain a balanced allocation that suits your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Retirement Planning:
Calculate the corpus required to generate a regular retirement income of 25,000 in today's value after 25 years. Use a retirement calculator to determine the monthly contribution needed to reach this target. Consider investing in retirement-focused mutual funds or pension plans to build a robust retirement portfolio.

Marriage & Family Planning:
Factor in the expenses related to marriage and starting a family when setting your financial goals. Start building a separate corpus for these milestones by allocating a portion of your savings towards dedicated savings accounts or investment vehicles tailored to short-to-medium-term goals.

Conclusion:
By implementing these recommendations and staying committed to your financial plan, you can work towards achieving financial independence and securing a comfortable retirement. Remember to review your plan regularly and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2112 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi Mr.Ramalingam, I am an foreign citizen having an OCI aged 44 years. Currently invested in the below mutual funds, the investment is for retirement. Do suggest if its a lot of funds that I am investing in or should i change something. 1. SBI large and mid cap fund regular growth - 12,500 2. Nippon India multicap fund growth - 5,000 3. Bandhan large cap fund - 9,500 4. HDFC small cap fund - 5,000 5. Invesco large and mid cap fund regular growth - 7,500 6. Axis mid cap fund - 7,500 7. Nippon India Gold Saving fund - 3,000
Ans: It's fantastic that you're planning for your retirement through mutual funds. Let's evaluate your current portfolio:

Portfolio Assessment
Diversification:
Your portfolio seems well-diversified across various market segments, which is commendable.

Fund Selection:
You've chosen a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and gold funds, which can provide a balanced exposure to different market conditions.

Risk Management:
However, it's essential to consider the risk associated with each fund. Small-cap and mid-cap funds generally carry higher risk compared to large-cap funds.

Expense Ratio:
Additionally, you may want to look at the expense ratio of each fund. Higher expense ratios can eat into your returns over the long term.

Simplification:
Having too many funds can complicate portfolio management. Simplifying your portfolio can make it easier to track and manage.

Recommendations
Consolidation:
Consider consolidating your funds into fewer, well-performing ones. Focus on quality over quantity to streamline your portfolio.

Risk Adjustment:
Evaluate your risk tolerance and consider reducing exposure to high-risk funds like small-cap and mid-cap funds if necessary.

Expense Management:
Keep an eye on expense ratios and opt for funds with lower expenses, which can enhance your overall returns.

Conclusion
In summary, while your portfolio shows diversity, it might benefit from consolidation and risk adjustment. Always remember to review your portfolio regularly and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x