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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |583 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
sandeep Question by sandeep on Mar 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi,......... again met my girl after22 years, on social platform last 7 years back (not physically) and met physically last year, talked, smooched, but after all this she's being bit cold, cold in the sense she does not call and msg quite less now, what could be the reason behind all these changes. TILL NOW AM SURE YOU WOULD GOT TO KNOW THAT IT IS A LONG DISTANCE RELATION. (OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO BE MORE PRECISE).

Ans: Dear Sandeep,

There can be a myriad of reasons why she is acting cold. Long-distance relationships aren't easy to maintain. They can be exhausting at times. It is best if you sit her down and have a clear conversation stating your concerns. You are grownups. Assuming that something is wrong and overthinking about it will not help anyone. Clearing things out in the open is a better idea, any day. There's always a chance that you might not like what you find out, but at least, you will have clarity. But then again, you could be reading it wrong. People change a bit with the years. It could just be that. Talk to her.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, Im a returning NRI post 20 years having lived abroad. Wasnt sure if I would ever have come on this platform but yes I have . I have been involved with a girl in India for the past 6 years , we both are in our end 40's shes 47 and i will be turning 50 next year. On my bi annual visits we have been meeting, getting physical and share almost everything. There was nothing hidden between us, frank discussions about life, menopause, family issues, support for each other and a lot of love flowing, gifts exhanged both ways , always there for each other and so on. For the past 5 years she was out of a job but now has started working again since the past 7 months or so. Happy for her. I made a decision to take early retirement and head back home , a purely personal choice and spend more time with her. Its just that now when im back and expressed my desire to visit her , i feel shes a bit hesitant, we stay in different cities. I was pretty stunned when I initially planned to see her around the christmas week but she cited follow up prayers for a close family member who had passed away a couple of years back and her unavailabilty. Moreso the dates I had proposed she was unsure of committing time during that period and I let it pass. I was pleasantly surprised and also hurt that during those specific days , shes taking off for a short vacation citing she needs to recharge. Not sure what I should make out of this. Our conversations since my return have been short, messaging not that frequent but overall i feel the thrill that used to be there earlier is missing from her end. I cant understand -:), all was good till a month back. Simply put I dont wanna confront her, its her life after all but just need some advise : is this normal hormonal changes or do u feel its something more and I shud let go. Yeah I know its gonna be difficult for me but some closure I need.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your partner/lady seems to be one of those who is happy with a virtual relationship and all the perks in it. It gets easy as there is no commitment within that relationship; at least that's how it reads to me from your post.
It's possible that in her mind she must have thought that the long distance thing works better. Now that you are back, it's possible that you might ask her that the two of you move things further as in a COMMITMENT.
So, maybe you must initiate a conversation with her and be very clear as to what you want from her and the relationship. And also listen patiently to what she has to say. She may not want to pursue a commitment and this is something that you must prepare yourself to hear!
Is this all stemming from a hormonal change? Well, it's strange because a month back things were all good; so where were these hormonal changes back then? So, no...Do have that honest conversation and see where it goes...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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