Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Shruti Question by Shruti on Apr 18, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi sir I want your advice as I don't know what to do and how to handle I am in long distance relationship with a guy who is in navy since 3 years .He told to his parents about our relationship buy they rejected because off intercaste and all usko bhut kuch sunaya aur ba vo use bat bhi nhi kar rhe pichle 4 mahino se usko mumy use bat gak nhi kar rhi aur use ghar vale uske liye ladki bhi search karne lag gye taki shadi karva de khi aur Is bich vo mujhe ab distance bna rha dur ho rha mujhse dhere dhere mer khane par bat kar rha bs aur.bol rha ab Humara koi future nhi hai isliye acha hoga ab hum bag nhi kare but mai uske bina nhi rhe la rhi bhut buri halat ho rhi meri uske bina vo mer khane par bat kar rha kar vo bhut jyada preshna hai samj nhi aya rha kya karo kese thik karu sab Usne mujhe har jgh se block kar diya gha ek bar par mere manane par aya hai but ab na mere number save kar rha na Instagram par follow kar rha kuch nhi maine jab bola to bolta hai bat ho rhi na bs

Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

Listen
Relationship
 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Listen
Relationship
My boyfriend tells about us to his parents his parents rejected our relationship due to intercaste and they also stop talking to him it's been 4 months his mother don't talk to him .He is in navy . And they also started searching girl for him . He want to maintain distance from me he is not happy he is stressed as his own parents are not talking to him And also maintaining distance to me he talks to me me but just because I can't live without him but he changes in behaviour what to do
Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi sir I want your advice as I don't know what to do and how to handle I am in long distance relationship with a guy who is in navy since 3 years .He told to his parents about our relationship buy they rejected because off intercaste and all usko bhut kuch sunaya aur ba vo use bat bhi nhi kar rhe pichle 4 mahino se usko mumy use bat gak nhi kar rhi aur use ghar vale uske liye ladki bhi search karne lag gye taki shadi karva de khi aur Is bich vo mujhe ab distance bna rha dur ho rha mujhse dhere dhere mer khane par bat kar rha bs aur.bol rha ab Humara koi future nhi hai isliye acha hoga ab hum bag nhi kare but mai uske bina nhi rhe la rhi bhut buri halat ho rhi meri uske bina vo mer khane par bat kar rha kar vo bhut jyada preshna hai samj nhi aya rha kya karo kese thik karu sab
Ans: Dear Shruti,
Kya haasil hoga tumhe itna pareshaan hoke? Jab ladke ne faisla le hi liya hai ki woh apne maa-pitaa ki hi sunega, toh aise ladke se tumne shaadi bhi kar li toh khushi toh door, har chote se chote faisle bhi uske maa-pitaa hi lenge aur tumhe kabhi shaadi mein apne pati ki madad nahin milegi.
Toh agar woh tumhe door karne lagaa hai, toh yeh baat saaf hai ki woh tumhare liye ya tum dodno ke rishte se zyaada apne maa-pitaa ki baat hi sunega. Aise aadmi se sambandh badhaane se accha yahi hai ki tum apni zindagi jiyo apni tareeke joh kisi ke mohtaaj nahin hai...Apna future khud banao...Aur haan, zindagi toh chati hi rehti hai, bhale hi woh shaks tumahri zindagi ka hissa ho ya na ho...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1370 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am a 31 year old married man.I am in a huge debt trap of multiple loans plus credit card mounting around 9 lakhs. I work in MNC company earning 70k per month. Please advise or suggest if I can come out of this.
Ans: I understand your concern about being in a debt trap, but there are steps you can take to address the situation and work towards financial stability:

Assess Your Debt: Start by listing out all your debts, including the outstanding amounts, interest rates, and minimum monthly payments. This will give you a clear picture of your financial situation.
Create a Budget: Develop a detailed budget that outlines your monthly income and expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back on spending to free up more money to put towards debt repayment.
Prioritize Debt Repayment: Focus on paying off high-interest debt first, such as credit card debt. Consider using the debt avalanche or debt snowball method to systematically tackle your debts.
Negotiate with Creditors: Reach out to your creditors to discuss repayment options. They may be willing to negotiate lower interest rates, waive fees, or offer a repayment plan that fits your budget.
Explore Debt Consolidation: Consolidating your debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate can make it easier to manage and potentially reduce your overall interest costs. However, be cautious and carefully evaluate the terms and fees associated with any consolidation offer.
Increase Your Income: Look for opportunities to increase your income, such as taking on a part-time job, freelancing, or seeking a higher-paying position within your company.
Seek Professional Help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to proceed, consider seeking assistance from a financial counselor or debt relief agency. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.
Avoid Taking on New Debt: While you're working to pay off your existing debt, avoid taking on any new debt if possible. Stick to your budget and focus on living within your means.
It may take time and discipline, but with a solid plan and commitment to debt repayment, you can overcome your debt challenges and regain control of your finances. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1370 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi, I am 27 years old and and employees earning around 28k. I would like to create a corpse of approx 1 cr. Also I want to 30 lakhs save my parents for retirement. What should I do please advice?
Ans: To achieve your financial goals of building a corpus of 1 crore for yourself and saving 30 lakhs for your parents' retirement, here's a suggested plan:

Start Early and Save Consistently: Given your age, starting early and saving consistently will work in your favor. Allocate a portion of your income towards savings and investments each month.
Emergency Fund: Begin by building an emergency fund equivalent to at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses. This fund will provide financial security in case of unexpected expenses or loss of income.
Investment in Mutual Funds: Consider investing in mutual funds through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans). Choose a mix of equity and debt mutual funds based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals.
Equity Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth: Allocate a significant portion of your investment towards equity mutual funds, which have the potential to deliver higher returns over the long term. Since you have a long investment horizon, you can afford to take higher risks for potentially higher rewards.
Debt Mutual Funds for Stability: Allocate a portion of your investment towards debt mutual funds for stability and capital preservation. Debt funds can provide steady returns while minimizing the overall portfolio risk.
Retirement Planning for Parents: For your parents' retirement savings, consider investing in a mix of fixed income instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), and debt mutual funds. These options provide regular income with capital protection.
Regular Review and Adjustments: Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.
Consult with a Financial Advisor: It's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor who can assess your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment options, and provide personalized recommendations tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.
By following these steps and investing wisely, you can work towards achieving your financial goals and securing a comfortable future for yourself and your parents.

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |26 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Career
Hello Archana, hope you’re doing well. My name is Sundeep Prakash with 10 years of experience into Software development in Bangalore, I would like to understand how could improve my visibility with my Org level. Any to-do list to follow. Kindly advise. Thanks
Ans: Hello Sundeep!
Yes I am doing well and hope the same for you!!

I would love to help you on this.
Here's the to do list for you to increase your visibility in your organisation-
1. always dress up for the next level. Always wear ironed clothes. A collared shirt, formal trousers, polished shoes. Your socks need to match your trousers. A neat formal belt. Belt and shoes to match . Look the part
2. hone your communication skills. Communicate in a concise and precise manner, with the right tonality. Be an assertive communicator
3. develop leadership qualities
4. build on the three C's - Confidence, Capability and Credibility
5. be an enthusiastic team player
6. develop public speaking skills, just look at all the leaders, they all speak so well, it is a learnable skill
7. grab the opportunities that come your way and prove that you are ready for the next level
8. don't participate in office gossip
9. help your juniors, every leader does this. The benefits of this are immense, you become better when you teach, you develop leadership skills, you create positivity in the office, you develop communication skills and you become popular
10. work hard, work smart

I don't want to overwhelm you with more, just do these 10 pointers and see the difference it'll make to your image in the office.

And above all believe in yourself, you have 10 yrs of experience and believe that you are ready to scale upwards now!

At the end of the day...be happy and spread happiness too!!

All the very best and more power to you!!

...Read more

Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |333 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi, my daughter is doing +2 (medical) in India. She want to become doctor. What are the options for her to become doctor in US? What she needs to study in US after her +2 (medical) in india?
Ans: Hello. Thank you for connecting with us. It is amazing to hear that she wants to pursue a medical program in the USA. However, let me tell you that before applying to any medical school, international students should make sure they have completed a four-year bachelor's degree with all of the prerequisite classes needed for the particular medical school being applied to. The prerequisites vary as per the school, but almost all schools require the students to have studied the following science courses: biology, general chemistry, and organic chemistry. Some schools may also require that you have taken other humanities, English, mathematics, and science classes as well, so make sure you look into medical schools while you are still an undergraduate so you can choose your classes appropriately. You will also need to have completed the MCAT test, which stands for Medical College Admissions Test. The test will determine your ability to think critically, problem-solve, and write clearly, as well as measure your knowledge of various scientific concepts. A good score on the MCAT is key to getting into a good medical school. International students must complete a pre- med program, which may take 1-2 years to complete at a US university, to start a degree in medicine in the country. The student will then be required to complete a 4.5-year degree after the pre- med to be awarded an MD degree under AUAMED.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counselors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1370 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Sir, I am 72 years old and want to invest Rs 15 lac in M.F, in swp.already invested 22 lac in MF .I am high risk taker . I want swp amount after one year. Please suggest M.F schemes . Thanks
Ans: Given your risk appetite and requirement for SWP after one year, it's crucial to focus on mutual fund schemes that offer potential for high returns while considering the relatively short investment horizon. Here are some suggestions:

Large & Midcap Funds: These funds invest in a mix of large-cap and mid-cap stocks, offering a balance between growth potential and stability. Look for schemes with a track record of consistent performance and experienced fund management.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds: If you have specific sectoral preferences and are willing to take higher risks, you can consider investing in sectoral or thematic funds. These funds focus on specific sectors or themes like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure, offering the potential for higher returns but also higher volatility.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Aggressive hybrid funds invest primarily in equities with a smaller allocation to debt instruments. They are suitable for investors seeking growth with relatively lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
Flexi Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions. They offer a dynamic approach to asset allocation and can adapt to changing market trends.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: If you have a higher risk tolerance and a longer investment horizon, mid and small-cap funds can potentially offer higher returns. However, they also come with higher volatility and risk, so careful selection and monitoring are essential.
When selecting mutual fund schemes, focus on factors such as fund performance track record, fund manager's experience and strategy, expense ratio, and risk-adjusted returns. Additionally, consider diversifying your investments across multiple schemes to spread risk.

It's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor who can assess your financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals to provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and preferences.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1370 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I have been laid off by my company and I have a PF balance of around 22 lacs. I read we are allowed to withdraw 75% if we are laid off and being unemployed at least for a month. I am thinking if it is a good idea to withdraw this 75% and invest in diverse options like mutual funds, FDs or corporate bonds which give better interest? I see mutual fund options in many apps these days with some good performing funds giving 33% returns on 3-year average. So should I consider investing at least 50% of my PF corpus in that option and balance in others? Please advice.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your job loss. With regards to your PF withdrawal, it's essential to carefully consider your options before making any decisions.

PF Withdrawal: Yes, you are eligible to withdraw up to 75% of your PF balance if you are unemployed for at least a month. However, withdrawing this amount means depleting your retirement savings, so it's crucial to evaluate the long-term implications.
Investment Options:
Mutual Funds: Mutual funds can offer potentially higher returns compared to traditional options like FDs. However, they also come with market risk, and past performance is not indicative of future results. Consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different asset classes and fund categories to mitigate risk.
FDs: FDs provide stable returns and capital protection but offer relatively lower returns compared to equity investments. They can be suitable for short to medium-term goals and for preserving capital.
Corporate Bonds: Corporate bonds can provide higher returns than FDs but carry credit risk associated with the issuer's ability to repay the debt. Investing in highly-rated corporate bonds or bond funds can offer a balance of risk and return.
Asset Allocation: Consider diversifying your investments across different asset classes to manage risk effectively. You may allocate a portion of your PF withdrawal to mutual funds for growth potential, while also keeping a portion in safer options like FDs or bonds for stability.
Financial Planning: Before making any investment decisions, I strongly recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can assess your financial situation, understand your goals and risk tolerance, and provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and objectives.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover your living expenses for at least 6-12 months in case of unexpected financial setbacks.
Overall, prioritize prudence and long-term financial stability when deciding how to utilize your PF corpus. It's essential to strike a balance between risk and return based on your financial goals and circumstances.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x