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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am in 6 years relationship with my girlfriend. Recently I don't feel the vibes with my girlfriend. She judges me a lot in each aspect, I can adjust upto certain limits, but she other 3-4 days finds a reason to get upset about me. We patch up only if I win her over , this has happened a couple of 100 times. Please suggest, I am getting this feeling that I must chase something better. I have talked with her , that if she doesn't like me then marry other guy. She says, it's my decision, you don't teach me anything. After few days she becomes normal. What should I do , I m confused.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are facing these problems. First of all, the spark fizzling out in a relationship is very normal, especially in a long-term relationship. You have two options-

One- tell her about your concerns. The fact that the constant quarrels bother you should be expressed in words. You can't assume that your partner will get it by herself. After having a clear discussion about the same, both of you can put equal effort into bringing back the initial spark. Try spending more quality time, pursue some shared hobbies, learn to problem-solve without getting into a heated fight, and more.

Two- you can reconsider this relationship. Once you have tried everything from your end to make things better and tried to reason with your partner but she is still keeping up the same temperament or you are still facing the same issues, you are allowed to rethink your choice to be with her. It's okay to put yourself first once in a while. It is a relationship today; tomorrow it will be a marriage and if things are still not going great, both of you might end up regretting it.

But before going to the second option, try the first.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I have been going through your column on rediff for some time and I feel you will be able to help me out. I want your advice on my relationship with my girlfriend. We have been in the relationship for 3 years now. I love her a lot and see a future with her. But there are some issues. I think she has some mental health issues. I could never judge in what mood she is in. I look forward everyday to the time we talk or spend together but most often after the meet/ talk I feel low. She almost never misses to find mistakes in everything I do and she blames it on my immaturity since she is 3.5 years elder to me (I am 29). Very rarely I do find out eventually that her judgment was right but most often I feel in all sense she is irrational and I think I am correct. This has taken an emotional toll on me. Now I do not feel like sharing thoughts and things with her because of the fights and emotional toll that I would have to face. I love her a lot and it seems like she too does but might be, I am wrong. I tried breaking up with her thrice. But every time because of some or other urgency or work-related stuff when we reconnect we fall back deeply in love. We are in same field but different organization. I was earlier in the same organisation but she left as she got a better offer. It makes sense to me but sometimes I do feel she could have stayed in same organization). She has been asking me to marry her, but all these things stated above makes me nervous what might be in future if I do marry her. As I take time to think it out she puts it as if I never wanted to marry her. I seek your advice.
Ans:

Dear GP,

A healthy relationship is one where both individuals help each other grow and thrive.

Pointing out the other’s inadequacies can be detrimental to their emotional health.

You keep walking on egg shells around her and have started to keep things away from her for fear of her rebuke and complaints.

How is this healthy when you can’t share your thoughts with your partner? This will become a habit and not a very good one for sure.

Also, age does not define whether one can boss around or not.

She certainly maybe right in most cases, but there is a way to convey the same thing to you.

Love and calmness in communication can actually transform everything and everyone provided the intent is there.

Marriage under these circumstances can be stressful for you.

So I do suggest that the two of you have an honest talk and when she knows how you feel and how keeping things away from her has become your coping mechanism, I do feel she might be able to see the situation in a new light.

Also, things that you might have misinterpreted about her may also surface.

So, please have that necessary talk without wasting anymore time. It will give you good perspectives to work from.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7628 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 24, 2025

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Money
Hello, I want a monthly withdrawal of 2lakh through SWP. Give me the amounts and expect ROI for various instruments that I should use. Also what factor to consider as I would be able to invest those amount lets say after a year.
Ans: To achieve a sustainable monthly withdrawal of Rs. 2 lakh (Rs. 24 lakh annually), we need to identify the right mix of investments and expected returns. Let us create a detailed framework.

1. Factors to Consider Before Investing
Time Horizon: You plan to start investing after a year. This delay impacts your compounding benefit, but planning ahead mitigates it.

Expected Rate of Return (ROI): Different instruments offer varied returns. Diversification ensures both growth and stability.

Withdrawal Feasibility: Sustainable withdrawals depend on balancing withdrawals with corpus growth.

Inflation Impact: Investments must generate returns above inflation to preserve corpus value.

Risk Appetite: Choose instruments aligning with your comfort towards volatility.

Tax Efficiency: Optimise your withdrawals and investments for better post-tax returns.

2. Expected ROI for Investment Options
Here is the expected ROI and rationale for different asset classes:

Actively Managed Equity Mutual Funds

Allocation: 50% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 12% annually
Rationale: These funds provide high returns and help beat inflation over the long term.
Debt Mutual Funds

Allocation: 30% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 7% annually
Rationale: These offer stability with moderate returns and are suitable for regular withdrawals.
Fixed-Income Instruments (e.g., FDs, SGBs)

Allocation: 15% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 6-7.5% annually
Rationale: Secure returns with no market risk. Ideal for stability.
Liquid Mutual Funds

Allocation: 5% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 4-5% annually
Rationale: Quick access for emergencies or interim cash flow needs.
3. Corpus Required for Rs. 2 Lakh Monthly Withdrawal
Corpus Based on ROI
At 8% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 3 crore is required.
At 9% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 2.66 crore is required.
At 10% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 2.4 crore is required.
The corpus requirement reduces with higher returns but increases risk exposure.

Building the Corpus Over One Year
If the funds are idle for a year, invest them in liquid mutual funds temporarily. These yield 4-5% with low risk.
Use Systematic Transfer Plans (STPs) to gradually move funds into equity and debt over 12-18 months.
4. Investment Plan for SWP
Equity Mutual Funds (50% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 1.5 crore to equity funds.
Delay SWP for at least three years to allow growth.
Equity funds ensure high long-term returns, reducing inflation's impact.
Debt Mutual Funds (30% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 90 lakh to debt funds.
Start SWP immediately from this portion.
These funds provide stable returns and low volatility.
Fixed-Income Instruments (15% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 45 lakh to secure instruments like FDs or Sovereign Gold Bonds.
Use these funds for stability and emergencies.
Liquid Mutual Funds (5% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 15 lakh to liquid funds.
Use these funds for interim liquidity needs and to manage cash flow gaps.
5. Steps for Efficient Withdrawal
Start withdrawals from debt and liquid funds first. Let equity funds grow for 3-5 years.
Monitor returns annually to adjust the withdrawal rate or asset allocation.
Keep a buffer of 1-2 years' expenses in liquid funds for emergencies.
Review the tax efficiency of your withdrawals and rebalance your portfolio every year.
Final Insights
A well-diversified portfolio ensures stable withdrawals of Rs. 2 lakh monthly. Focus on equity for growth, debt for stability, and liquid funds for emergencies. Starting the plan early and monitoring it regularly will ensure financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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