I am 58 years old working in a central government office. I have a junior female colleague who is 43 years old. We have been working together for the past fifteen years and travel together on official tours. She will always be jovial and I enjoy her company. Both were married and have children as well. I like her very much and love her as well. Recently, I developed strong feelings for her. I expressed the same to her through emails and WhatsApp and by showing special attention and care. When I presented her a special jewelry gift on her birthday, she refused to accept the same. Despite my repeated pleas and requests, she refused and when I made an emotional appeal to her on my birthday, she finally accepted and do not know till now what she has done with it! Ever since I expressed my love to her, she withdrew from me and started to avoid me. I got the message! But, I am unable to forget her and all these happenings. I feel like not being able to live without her and her thoughts. In spite of my appeals to her to forgive me and my requests to her to express herself on what she feels about me and these happenings, she maintains stoic silence and never reacted so far. I am unable to read her. Because of this, my work also suffers. I am unable to bear her moving away from me, even though she limited to speaking to me only on profession-related matters. At the same time, my feelings towards her increase day-by-day. I am unable to tolerate this new situation and just can't forget her. Just wondering if I did a mistake by expressing myself to her. I love her so much that every moment I think of her. Please advice on how to overcome this!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!