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Married Woman with Son Asks for Advice on Husband's Gender Change and Divorce

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 10, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
priti Question by priti on Oct 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 48 years old woman and married for 11 yrs with a son of 9 yrs . my husband changed his gender 5 yrs ago without my and family consent but discloses it only 3 yrs back. i moved from my inlaws place with my son. none of us filed divorce.what should i do.what should be the terms and conditions if i file divorce. and how should i deal with my son..is this will have an impact on him.please advice

Ans: Dear Priti,
This is a question for a legal expert in case you are thinking of divorce as an option. The expert will be able to guide you accordingly...
Children do bear the brunt of their parents' separation but it can be handled with a lot of care...both the parents must be involved in his emotional highs and lows when he realizes that his parents are not going to be living under the same roof anymore...
It requires a lot of love, care and most importantly reassurance for him to know that he will never be ignored and will always have access to both parents...talk it out with your spouse and come up with a plan that keeps in mind the child and his emotional wellbeing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I was in an arranged marriage in April 2022. Ten days after my marriage I found some letters, videos, conversation which clearly indicate that my husband is gay.I left him silently and tried to understand those things.We were not in a physical or romantic relationship. When I confronted him he said he was confused about his orientation for the last 10 years but now he is straight...Everything he explained had no head or tail, it seemed like a lie. We decided to separate.He moved on and is enjoying his life but my life has become hell. I miss the life I had dreamed about. I feel guilty if I was over reacting.Sometimes I wonder why I left him.I lost everything -- my looks, my confidence, my health, friends etc... I feel lonely.
Ans:

Dear PF,

I seriously don’t understand how he goes from being gay to straight all of a sudden.

If he is convinced that he is straight, have there been any moments of intimacy between the two of you or is this a façade that he is putting to avoid the glares of society and its cruel backlash?

If you feel that there is still hope, would you be willing to dull in your mind, what had happened and then appeal to him to start afresh?

Or has that boat already sailed?

I do believe in second chances and if his claims that he is straight are true and you feel that you acted in haste about leaving the relationship, why don’t you reach out to him and request him for a chance for both of you to work on getting back together?

There is no point in feeling sorry or guilty. What helps is doing something that might help you in the direction of what you want.

So, get into that action mode and do what needs to be done. Your confidence solely lies in moving ahead into a solution mode. So, what are you waiting for?

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

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Relationship
Hello mam, I have come to know about you through an article I read online. I am mailing you regarding my problem. Please make it anonymous. I'm married for 10 years. I have a son who is 6 years old. After my delivery, my husband distanced me. Since then, we use to fight a lot. Both of us are abusive and there is no physical relation between us. I told the same to my parents, and they suggested that I adjust keeping in mind the society and asked me to try for a job to deviate my mind. Once I checked my husband phone and there was a history of homosexual p**n videos. When I asked him the same, he refused. There is no happiness and only fights. I have even made suicidal attempts and was admitted to the hospital for taking expired pills. I’m an old traditioned woman, unable to move out of marriage as I can’t handle being alone. At the same time, I am unable to understand my husband’s behaviour. He is saying he will be like that only, If you want you can stay or leave. He will not tell me anything about his family – when his father passed away due to covid, he left home without telling me. I knew about it from other relatives.
Ans:

Dear GV,

Thank you for reading my content. Hope it helps.

I can only imagine the trap that you are in. So, why are you choosing to be trapped even further?

  • Do you see any scope in your husband changing?
  • Do you know anything about his sexual orientation?
  • Do you feel that the two of you can rebuild your marriage?

If the answer to the above is NO, then time to break out of your so-called traditional mindset.

Do you really want to live in this set-up and have your son grow up unstable?

I am sure that as a mother you do want to provide him with a stable and loving environment.

Then, you need to think differently about your old beliefs and see if they are worth holding onto.

The older generation might have held onto marriages even if they were abusive. But things have changed.

Even if you are not financially independent, there are venues to change that. You only need to change the way you think.

Check with yourself if continuing this way is going to give you anything great in return or is it going to steal your spirit away.

The choice is yours but do know that you have a son to take care of as well.

Start by gaining a good circle of supporters that includes your parents and close friends who can help you through this massive change to enable you take charge of your life.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his fatter. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.
Ans: I understand how deeply troubling your situation is. Feeling a lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection in your marriage can be incredibly painful. It's important to address these feelings and consider the best path forward for both your well-being and that of your son.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings. Explain how his lack of intimacy affects you and your mental health. Sometimes, a neutral environment or the presence of a counselor can facilitate this conversation. Couples therapy might help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work toward a solution.

If your husband is unwilling to engage in this dialogue or make any changes, you need to think about your own happiness and mental health. Living in a state of constant misery and depression isn't sustainable, and it's essential to model a healthy, fulfilling life for your son. While your son is attached to his father, children also sense when their parents are unhappy. Ensuring your well-being will, in turn, benefit your son.


If you decide that divorce is the best option, it will undoubtedly be challenging, especially without family support. However, many people find that once they take this step, they can rebuild their lives in a more fulfilling way. Your son’s attachment to his father is important, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship can help mitigate the impact on him. Children can adapt well to changes when they see their parents are happier and healthier.

Consider reconnecting with your professional life, as having a career can provide you with financial independence and a sense of personal fulfillment. It can also serve as a distraction and a way to build new social connections, reducing the sense of isolation.

Ultimately, your happiness and mental health are crucial. It's important to take steps toward a life where you feel valued, loved, and content. Consulting with a therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate these tough decisions. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your options, and build a plan that prioritizes your well-being and your son's best interests.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his father. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.
Ans: I understand how deeply troubling your situation is. Feeling a lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection in your marriage can be incredibly painful. It's important to address these feelings and consider the best path forward for both your well-being and that of your son.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings. Explain how his lack of intimacy affects you and your mental health. Sometimes, a neutral environment or the presence of a counselor can facilitate this conversation. Couples therapy might help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work toward a solution.

If your husband is unwilling to engage in this dialogue or make any changes, you need to think about your own happiness and mental health. Living in a state of constant misery and depression isn't sustainable, and it's essential to model a healthy, fulfilling life for your son. While your son is attached to his father, children also sense when their parents are unhappy. Ensuring your well-being will, in turn, benefit your son.


If you decide that divorce is the best option, it will undoubtedly be challenging, especially without family support. However, many people find that once they take this step, they can rebuild their lives in a more fulfilling way. Your son’s attachment to his father is important, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship can help mitigate the impact on him. Children can adapt well to changes when they see their parents are happier and healthier.

Consider reconnecting with your professional life, as having a career can provide you with financial independence and a sense of personal fulfillment. It can also serve as a distraction and a way to build new social connections, reducing the sense of isolation.

Ultimately, your happiness and mental health are crucial. It's important to take steps toward a life where you feel valued, loved, and content. Consulting with a therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate these tough decisions. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your options, and build a plan that prioritizes your well-being and your son's best interests.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10858 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir I have literally confused between which university to pick if not good marks in mht cet Like sit Pune or srm college or rvce or Bennett as I am planning to study here bachelors and masters in abroad so is it better to choose a government college which coep and them if I get them my home college which Kolhapur institute of technology what should I choose a good university? If yes than which
Ans: Based on my extensive research of official college websites, NIRF rankings, international recognition metrics, placement data, and masters abroad admission requirements, your choice between COEP Pune, RVCE Bangalore, SRM Chennai, Bennett University Delhi, and Kolhapur Institute of Technology (KIT) fundamentally depends on five critical institutional aspects essential for successful masters admission abroad: global research output and international collaborations, CGPA-based competitiveness (minimum 7.5-8.0 required for top international programs), faculty expertise in emerging technologies, international student exchange partnerships, and proven alumni track records at globally-ranked universities. COEP Pune ranks nationally at NIRF #90 Engineering with India Today #14 Government Category ranking, offering robust infrastructure and 11 academic departments with research centers in AI and renewable energy, though international research collaborations are moderate compared to IITs. RVCE Bangalore demonstrates strong national standing with consistent COMEDK admissions competitiveness, excellent placements averaging Rs.35 LPA with highest at Rs.92 LPA, and established international collaborations through Karnataka PGCET-based MTech programs, providing solid foundations for masters applications. SRM Chennai maintains extensive research partnerships with 100+ companies visiting campus, highest packages reaching Rs.65 LPA, and documented international research linkages through sponsored programs like Newton Bhaba funded projects, significantly strengthening masters abroad candidacy through diverse research exposure. Bennett University Delhi distinctly outperforms others in international institutional alignment, recording highest placements at Rs.137 LPA with average Rs.11.10 LPA, explicit academic collaborations with University of British Columbia Canada, Florida International University USA, University of Nebraska Omaha, University of Essex England, and King's University College Canada—these partnerships directly facilitate seamless masters transitions abroad and represent unparalleled institutional bridges to international graduate programs. KIT Kolhapur records respectable placements at Rs.41 LPA highest with average Rs.6.5 LPA, NAAC A+ accreditation, autonomous institutional status under Shivaji University, and 90%+ placement consistency across technical streams, though international research visibility and foreign university partnerships remain comparatively limited. For international masters admission success, universities globally prioritize bachelors institution reputation, minimum CGPA 7.5-8.0 (Bennett and SRM facilitate this through curriculum rigor), GRE/GATE scores (minimum 90 percentile), English proficiency (TOEFL ≥75 or IELTS ≥6.5), research output documentation, and faculty recommendation quality reflecting institution's research culture—criteria most strongly supported by Bennett's explicit international collaborations, SRM's documented research partnerships, and COEP's autonomous departmental research centers. Bennett simultaneously offers global pathway programs reducing masters abroad costs through articulation agreements and provides curriculum aligned internationally with partner institution standards, representing optimal intermediate bridge structure versus direct masters application. The cost-effectiveness and structured transition support through international partnerships, combined with demonstrated placement success and faculty research visibility, position these institutions distinctly above KIT Kolhapur for masters abroad aspirations. For your specific objective of pursuing masters abroad, prioritize Bennett University Delhi first—its explicit international university partnerships with Canadian, American, and European institutions, highest placement packages (Rs.137 LPA), and structured global pathway programs create seamless masters transitions with reduced costs. Second choice: SRM Chennai, offering extensive research collaborations, documented international linkages, and competitive placements (Rs.65 LPA highest) strengthening masters applications. Third: COEP Pune, delivering strong national standing and autonomous research infrastructure. Avoid RVCE and KIT due to limited international visibility and explicit foreign university partnerships compared to the above three institutions. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10894 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Money
I have 450000 on hand, looking into my kids goingto university in 13 years
Ans: I truly appreciate your clear goal and long planning horizon.
Planning children’s education early shows care and responsibility.
Your patience of thirteen years is a strong advantage.
Having Rs. 4,50,000 ready gives a solid starting base.

» Understanding the Education Goal Clearly
University education costs rise faster than general inflation.
Professional courses usually cost much more.
Foreign education costs can rise even faster.
Thirteen years allows equity exposure with control.
Time gives scope to correct mistakes calmly.
Clarity today reduces stress later.

Education is a non-negotiable goal.
Money should be ready when needed.
Returns are important, but certainty matters more.
Risk must reduce as the goal nears.

» Time Horizon and Its Advantage
Thirteen years is a long investment window.
Long horizons help equity recover from volatility.
Short-term market noise becomes less relevant.
Compounding works better with patience.
This time allows phased asset changes.

Early years can take moderate growth risk.
Later years need capital protection.
This shift must be planned in advance.
Discipline matters more than market timing.

» Role of Rs. 4,50,000 Lump Sum
A lump sum gives immediate market participation.
It saves time compared to slow investing.
However, timing risk must be managed carefully.
Markets can be volatile in short periods.
Staggered deployment reduces regret risk.

This amount should not sit idle.
Inflation silently erodes unused money.
Cash gives comfort, but no growth.
Balanced deployment creates confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
Education goals need growth with safety.
Pure equity creates unnecessary stress.
Pure debt fails to beat education inflation.
A blended structure works best.

Equity provides long-term growth.
Debt gives stability and predictability.
Gold can add limited diversification.
Each asset has a specific role.

Allocation must change with time.
Static plans often fail near goals.
Dynamic rebalancing improves outcomes.

» Equity Exposure Assessment
Equity suits long-term education goals.
It handles inflation better than fixed returns.
Active management helps during market shifts.
Fund managers can adjust sector exposure.

Active strategies respond to changing economies.
They manage downside better than passive options.
They avoid blind market tracking.
Skill matters during volatile phases.

Equity volatility is emotional, not permanent.
Time reduces its impact significantly.
Regular reviews keep risks under control.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
Education money cannot follow markets blindly.
Index-based investing copies market mistakes.
It cannot avoid overvalued sectors.
It lacks flexibility during crises.

Active funds can reduce exposure early.
They can increase cash when needed.
They can protect capital during downturns.
They aim for better risk-adjusted returns.

Education planning needs judgment, not automation.
Human decisions add value here.

» Debt Allocation and Stability
Debt balances equity volatility.
It provides visibility of future value.
It helps during market corrections.
It offers smoother return paths.

Debt is important as the goal nears.
It protects accumulated wealth.
It reduces last-minute shocks.
It supports planned withdrawals.

Debt returns may look modest.
But stability is its true benefit.
Peace of mind has real value.

» Role of Gold in Education Planning
Gold is not a growth asset.
It works as a hedge during stress.
It protects during global uncertainties.
It diversifies portfolio behaviour.

Gold allocation should remain limited.
Excess gold reduces long-term growth.
Its price movement is unpredictable.
Moderation is essential here.

» Phased Investment Strategy
Deploying lump sum gradually reduces timing risk.
It avoids emotional regret from market falls.
It allows participation across market levels.
This approach suits cautious planners.

Phasing also improves confidence.
Confidence helps stay invested long term.
Consistency beats perfect timing always.

» Ongoing Contributions Alongside Lump Sum
Education planning should not rely only on lump sum.
Regular investments add discipline.
They average market volatility.
They build habit-based wealth.

Future income growth can support step-ups.
Small increases matter over long periods.
Consistency outweighs size in investing.

» Risk Management Perspective
Risk is not market volatility alone.
Risk includes goal failure.
Risk includes panic withdrawals.
Risk includes poor planning.

Diversification reduces risk effectively.
Rebalancing controls excess exposure.
Regular reviews catch issues early.
Emotions need structured guardrails.

» Behavioural Discipline and Emotional Control
Markets test patience frequently.
Education goals demand calm decisions.
Fear and greed harm outcomes.
Plans fail due to emotions mostly.

Pre-decided strategies reduce mistakes.
Written plans improve commitment.
Periodic review gives reassurance.
Staying invested is crucial.

» Importance of Review and Monitoring
Thirteen years bring many changes.
Income levels may change.
Family needs may evolve.
Education preferences may shift.

Annual reviews keep plans relevant.
Asset allocation needs adjustment.
Performance must be evaluated objectively.
Corrections should be timely.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
Tax impacts net education corpus.
Equity taxation applies during withdrawal.
Long-term gains get favourable rates.
Short-term exits cost more.

Debt taxation follows income slab rules.
Planning withdrawals reduces tax impact.
Staggered exits help manage tax burden.
Tax planning should align with goal timing.

Avoid frequent unnecessary churning.
Taxes quietly reduce returns.
Simplicity supports efficiency.

» Liquidity Planning Near Goal Year
Final three years need special care.
Market risk must reduce steadily.
Liquidity becomes priority over returns.
Funds should be easily accessible.

Avoid last-minute equity exposure.
Sudden crashes hurt planned education.
Gradual shift reduces anxiety.
Preparation avoids forced selling.

» Inflation Impact on Education Costs
Education inflation exceeds normal inflation.
Fees rise faster than salaries.
Accommodation costs also rise.
Foreign education adds currency risk.

Growth assets are essential initially.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Planning must consider future realities.
Hope alone is not a strategy.

» Currency Risk Consideration
Overseas education includes currency exposure.
Rupee depreciation increases cost burden.
Diversification helps partially manage this.
Early planning reduces shock later.

This aspect needs periodic reassessment.
Flexibility helps adjust plans.
Preparation gives confidence.

» Emergency Fund and Education Goal
Education funds should not handle emergencies.
Separate emergency money is essential.
This avoids disturbing long-term plans.
Liquidity prevents panic selling.

Emergency planning supports education planning indirectly.
Stability improves decision quality.

» Insurance and Protection Perspective
Parent income supports education plans.
Adequate protection is important.
Unexpected events disrupt goals severely.
Risk cover ensures plan continuity.

Insurance supports planning discipline.
It protects dreams, not investments.
Coverage must match responsibilities.

» Avoiding Common Education Planning Mistakes
Starting too late increases pressure.
Taking excess equity near goal is risky.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Reacting emotionally harms returns.

Chasing past performance disappoints.
Over-diversification reduces clarity.
Lack of review causes drift.
Simplicity works best.

» Role of Professional Guidance
Education planning needs structure.
Product selection is only one part.
Behaviour guidance adds real value.
Ongoing review ensures discipline.

A Certified Financial Planner adds perspective.
They align money with life goals.
They manage risks beyond returns.

» 360 Degree Integration
Education planning connects with retirement planning.
Cash flow planning supports investments.
Tax planning improves efficiency.
Risk planning ensures stability.

All areas must align together.
Isolated decisions create future stress.
Integrated thinking brings peace.

» Adapting to Life Changes
Career shifts may happen.
Income gaps may occur.
Expenses may increase unexpectedly.

Plans must remain flexible.
Flexibility prevents panic decisions.
Adjustments should be calm and timely.

» Final Insights
Your early start is a major strength.
Thirteen years provide meaningful flexibility.
Rs. 4,50,000 is a solid foundation.
Structured investing can multiply its value.

Balanced allocation with discipline works best.
Active management suits education goals well.
Regular review keeps risks controlled.
Emotional stability protects outcomes.

Stay patient and consistent.
Education planning rewards long-term commitment.
Clear goals reduce anxiety.
Prepared parents raise confident children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 44 age having son 8yrs., having Health Cover plan, I have MF 12lacs+ Investments in direct Equity MF (Large+MID+Small+Digital fund) +Post Investment 7lacs, PPF 7Lacs + PPF 5Lacs, Wife & Me both have total SIP Investments Total of Rs. 20,000 SIP and PPF 5000p.m. planning for 10-11Years, I want, child Edu 30lacs + Retirement Plan 70,000 p.m. + Health cover after 10-11 years till life age 80. Pls. Advice above plan is ok?. and Please don't share my Deatils to anyone or display any where. Thanks in advance.
Ans: You are 44 years old with an 8-year-old son and have already built a strong financial base through mutual funds, direct equity, PPF, post office schemes, and regular SIPs. Your current investments include around ?12 lakh in mutual funds, ?7 lakh in post office savings, ?12 lakh combined in PPF accounts, and ongoing SIPs of ?20,000 per month, along with ?5,000 monthly PPF contributions. You also have health insurance in place, which is a major positive.

Your key goals are funding your child’s education (?30 lakh in 10–11 years), securing retirement income of ?70,000 per month, and ensuring lifelong health coverage up to age 80. With a 10–11 year horizon, your education goal is achievable by allocating about ?15,000–?18,000 per month to equity-oriented mutual funds and gradually shifting to debt funds closer to the goal. For retirement, a corpus of roughly ?1.6–?1.8 crore is required, and your current savings put you on track, though a small increase in SIPs during income growth years will strengthen the plan. Maintain a balanced asset allocation, increase protection via a super top-up health plan later, and stay disciplined to achieve all goals.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, i am now 29 and i am seriously in debt trap. My salary is only 35k but i am kind of messed up in payday loans which are not offering more than 30 days. So due to which i have to repay by taking loan against a loan. In this way i could see my repayment has become 3X of my monthly salary. Please suggest me what to do. I am feeling embarassed, as my family members doesnt know this. I need help and suggestions on how to overcome this. Even if i apply for debt consolidation, everytime i am getting rejected due to high obligations. Help me to get out frob payday loans..
Ans: Dear Friends,
You are facing a payday-loan debt trap, which is stressful but solvable. The most important step is to stop taking any new loans or rollovers immediately, as they worsen the situation. List all existing loans with amounts, due dates, and penalties to regain control. Contact each lender and request hardship support such as penalty freezes, installment plans, or settlements—many lenders agree when approached honestly. If possible, close all payday loans using one safer option like a salary advance, employer loan, NBFC loan, or limited family support, as a single structured loan is better than multiple high-cost ones. Share your situation with one trusted person to reduce emotional pressure. Follow a strict short-term budget focusing only on essentials and direct any extra income toward loan closure. Avoid absconding, illegal lenders, or using credit cards for cash. With discipline and negotiation, recovery is achievable within 12–18 months. Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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