Hello mam, I have come to know about you through an article I read online. I am mailing you regarding my problem. Please make it anonymous.
I'm married for 10 years. I have a son who is 6 years old.
After my delivery, my husband distanced me. Since then, we use to fight a lot. Both of us are abusive and there is no physical relation between us.
I told the same to my parents, and they suggested that I adjust keeping in mind the society and asked me to try for a job to deviate my mind.
Once I checked my husband phone and there was a history of homosexual p**n videos. When I asked him the same, he refused.
There is no happiness and only fights. I have even made suicidal attempts and was admitted to the hospital for taking expired pills.
I’m an old traditioned woman, unable to move out of marriage as I can’t handle being alone.
At the same time, I am unable to understand my husband’s behaviour.
He is saying he will be like that only, If you want you can stay or leave.
He will not tell me anything about his family – when his father passed away due to covid, he left home without telling me. I knew about it from other relatives.
Ans: Dear GV,
Thank you for reading my content. Hope it helps.
I can only imagine the trap that you are in. So, why are you choosing to be trapped even further?
- Do you see any scope in your husband changing?
- Do you know anything about his sexual orientation?
- Do you feel that the two of you can rebuild your marriage?
If the answer to the above is NO, then time to break out of your so-called traditional mindset.
Do you really want to live in this set-up and have your son grow up unstable?
I am sure that as a mother you do want to provide him with a stable and loving environment.
Then, you need to think differently about your old beliefs and see if they are worth holding onto.
The older generation might have held onto marriages even if they were abusive. But things have changed.
Even if you are not financially independent, there are venues to change that. You only need to change the way you think.
Check with yourself if continuing this way is going to give you anything great in return or is it going to steal your spirit away.
The choice is yours but do know that you have a son to take care of as well.
Start by gaining a good circle of supporters that includes your parents and close friends who can help you through this massive change to enable you take charge of your life.
All the best!
