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Anu Krishna |1540 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 24, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by RICHA on Jan 22, 2024Hindi

Relationship

i am 38 year married since 38 years i am financially independent but stay in an orthodox joint family for them it is male more important than female and i am bit into feminism my parents and sibling have died i dont have any financial or mental support from my husband and he i bare all the expenses of my and my son infact my husband has the habit of making fun of me everytime and demotivate me even in front of my 14 year son what shall i do to change him as i am alont cant leave that home or else ill be seperated from my son

Ans: Dear Richa,
Your husband is possibly insecure about your financial independence given that you live in a male-dominated house. The only way he can prove that he is better than you (which he doesn't need to) is by showing you in poor light. Don't give into it or even protest as he will be sure that is affects you and will do more to provoke and demean you. Instead, slowly start to not care about his remarks and somewhere he will stop...what he is doing is subtle bullying and the only way to stop a bully is to not care about what they say or do.
The only thing you need to watch out for is how your son is perceiving all this and for that, spend more time with him to build a bond that will negate the image of you that your husband is trying to show your son. Be patient with this and obviously, he's your son and he knows you and your love...be patient!

All the best!

Relationship1Reply

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Anu Krishna |1540 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Question by RICHA - May 04, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done

Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

Kanchan Rai |552 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.

Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

Kanchan Rai |552 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025

Relationship

Hi sir I don't know from where to start but it happened in this way ,I was from a reserved family with orthodox thinking.so I did love marriage in other caste (we were classes friends)after 17 years I am realising that my husband wants to dominate me ,he talk to me in bad way,he shouts on me ,he let me work but he ask money whenever he needs n pay me nothing. He trigger me in small thing, give me taunt n his mother n sister supports me .I am living in my mother in law house n I have two sons .This mental harassment is increasing day-by-day. He never paid for any of my expense.I m scared what to do to leave him n live my life or to live with him n ignore .what society will say .what to do I don't know. Feeling trapped pl suggest me what to do?

Ans: it's important to recognize that your well-being and safety, both emotional and physical, are paramount. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect or to live in an environment where they feel demeaned or controlled. The constant shouting, taunting, and lack of financial support are serious issues that should not be ignored, as they can significantly impact your mental health and sense of self-worth.

Your feelings of being trapped are compounded by societal expectations and the fear of judgment. However, it’s crucial to remember that society’s opinions should not dictate your happiness or well-being. Living in a situation where you’re constantly subjected to mental harassment can have long-term detrimental effects on your mental health and overall quality of life. It’s natural to fear what others might say, but your peace of mind and the well-being of your children should take precedence.

The support of your mother-in-law and sister-in-law is a positive aspect, but it seems that your husband’s behavior continues to be a source of distress. It’s essential to have a candid conversation with them about your feelings and explore whether they can help mediate or influence change in his behavior. However, if his actions persist and there’s no willingness on his part to change or seek help, you might need to seriously consider your options.

If you’re contemplating leaving, it’s important to plan carefully. This might include seeking legal advice to understand your rights, especially concerning your children and financial support. You could also consider reaching out to a counselor or support group for emotional guidance, as they can provide you with the strength and clarity to make decisions that are best for you and your sons.

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave is deeply personal and should be made based on what you believe will bring you the most peace and stability. It’s not an easy choice, and it requires a lot of courage and self-reflection. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and creating a healthy environment for yourself and your children is not selfish—it’s necessary. Whatever path you choose, know that you have the right to seek happiness and to live a life free from harassment and control.

Kanchan Rai |552 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...

Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

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Radheshyam Zanwar |1319 Answers |Ask -Follow

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Question by Ruhi - Mar 04, 2025Hindi

Career

I completed my 12 in 2020 with pcb after this I give entrance and got admission in govt college and completed my d pharmacy at the age of 19 . Since childhood I always want to wearing white coat but after seeing my family condition I decide to give govt job exam in pharmacy field then I give esic pharmacist aiims raipur but not got selected in any a lot of hard work and sleep less night and next month rrb pharmacist exam held I feel very low I m 21 year already I belong middle class family and my father is sick I thought i was never selected what should I do

Ans: Hello dear,
You are not the only one facing critical problems in life. Yet, you completed your pharmacy degree at just 19. I believe you took the job examination only once and felt frustrated. Many candidates have applied multiple times before being selected. Don't lose hope; keep trying until you achieve success. Wasting sleepless nights won’t solve anything. You have limited time to prepare for the RRB Pharmacist examination next month. Wake up and work hard to pass it and fulfill your dreams! At just 21, you have plenty of time to reach your goals. Take care of your father while also preparing for your exams. Keep faith in God. Best of luck for your bright future ahead.

Follow me if you’re satisfied with the reply; otherwise, feel free to ask again.
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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025Hindi

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I got 94.81 percentile, im from telangana ,for which nit am i eligible?

Ans: Hello dear.
You have borderline percentile. You may or may not get it. Please keep a close eye on admission process. Yet recommending you to score more in 2nd attempt of JEE for sure shot admission. Best of luck to you.

Follow me if satisfied with the reply. Else ask again.
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(Q1). Secured 86.83 percentile in JEE main Session-1.wether it will lead to eligibility for JEE Advance? Ews category. (Q2). Can I get government college CSE branch.......?

Ans: Hello dear.
Here is the point-wise reply to the questions.
(1) The eligibility to appear for JEE (Adv) depends upon the cut-off declared. Hence please close watch on the announcements made on the respective website. (2) You did not mention the category. Yet assuming OC, difficult to get CSE @ Govt Collge.
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Follow me if satisfied with the reply. Else ask again.
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Tax Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Question by BHARAT - Feb 09, 2025Hindi

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My wife is retired Her income from STCG from debt funds in this FY is 61000 Her income from LTCG from debt funds is 499000 If she invests Rs 61000 in ELSS will IT DEPT allow rebate of 61000 under section 80c and if so, her taxable income being 499000, will she get rebate under section 87A under the old tax regime

Ans: 01. Kindly note that Tax Rebate u/s 87A is not available if your taxable income exceeds Rs.5,00,000.00, in old tax regime also. I feel in this case taxable income would be more under different heads like Pension & Interest Income etc.
02. Deduction u/s 80-C would be available, if you invest in ELSS. This will effect your other income Like Salary/Pension, STCG & Income from Interest etc.
Most welcome for any further clarification. Thanks.

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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Question by lavan - Feb 26, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi, I'm Lavan Kumar, i'm 34 year old married, one daughter of 6yr old. my current take home salary is 80k. my current PF balance as on Jan'25 is 8.5L Holding 1Cr term insurance with a premium of 18K per annum medical premium of 40k per annum for my family ( including parents). PPF Balance is 1.18L, investing around 20K per year investing in NPS from Dec'22 onwards and currently holding 2L and investing 50K every year and also investing 4500 monthly through employer from my salary( above mentioned sal is excluding this amt) Investing 9k per month in 5 mutual funds 1.Kotak infrastructure and Economic reform fund - 2k 2.Quant infrastructure fund -2k 3.Bandhan sterling value fund - 1k 4.SBI long term equity fund - 2k 5.Quant Multi Asset fund - 2k Paying LIC of 27K per year for 10L sum assured. currently holding a personal loan with an EMI of 27k per month, same will be closed by Dec'25. Please guide me on how to achieve 1Cr in next 10 years and where to invest to achieve my target.

Ans: Hello;

You may be able to achieve 1 Cr corpus in the following manner;

1. Do a flat monthly SIP of 50 K for 10 years.

2. Begin with a monthly sip of 15 K and step it up every year by 30% minimum.

Other option is to do a flat monthly sip of 20 K for 17 years to achieve 1 Cr.

A modest return of 10% is considered.

Also your funds need a complete rejig for which you may get in touch with a MFD.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

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Question by Sukriti - Mar 04, 2025Hindi

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I get 81.9 percentile in jee mains session 1 can I get cse in any nit

Ans: For general NO

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IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Question by chandramouli - Mar 04, 2025Hindi

Career

My son is pursuing Mechatronics in VIT Chennai. He does not have too much passion towards software programming etc.He is interested to pursue M.S abroad like Germany etc instead of doing GATE /PG in India. I personally feel doing GATE in India and if admitted to premier central institutes hold more value and makes economical sense. Please advise which one is better - if abroad, any specific countries you recommend which has more value for higher education/Career opportunities ? Secondly, What career options within India is good. Is IES a good option if so what specialization should he choose for preparing ?

Ans: IIT through GATE is better. IES is good option with Electronics/mechanical

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Tax Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Question by Ramesh - Feb 13, 2025Hindi

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I have sold a flat on 12th Feb2025 for Rs.65 lacs. I have bought this for Rs.11 lacs on 5th April 2005. I do not wish to buy another property . I wish to invest in Capital Gains Tax Saving Bonds. I am 72 years old. How much is the LTCG ? How much do I need to invest in the CG Tax Saving Bonds to minimise the tax ? What will the tax amount payable ? Thanks and regards

Ans: 01. Based on available information, you may opt for LTCG with Indexation.
02. CG Tax Saving Bonds may be purchased for Rs.30.00 lakh. It may reduce your tax payment significantly.
03. Please ensure to : (a) Purchase of Bonds with in 6 months from the date of sale of property & (b) Filling of your ITRs in time.
Most welcome for any further clarification. Thanks.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi

Money

sir, I want to check how much money i have in my IT file . i want to purchase land, so want to make confirm is their sufficient amount in file. For this which amount i have to check. Please advice.

Ans: No such information would be available in your IT Return or IT File. Your Funds in Bank Accounts would confirm how much money you have & you may Plan your Land Purchase accordingly.
Most welcome for any further clarification. Thanks.

T S Khurana |388 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi

Money

I sold a property for Rs130 lacs in this month. I bought it for Rs.18 lacs in August 2005. I bought in joint name of self and spouse. I got the sales payment equally in both names. We do not wish to buy another property as I am over 70 years of age and my wife over 67 years. How much should we each invest in CG Tax saving bonds to get exemption ? Both of us are filing returns separately.

Ans: 01. Based on available information, you may opt for LTCG with Indexation.
02. CG Tax Saving Bonds may be purchased for Rs.35.00 lakh each. It may reduce your tax payment significantly.
03. Please ensure to : (a) Purchase of Bonds with in 6 months from the date of sale of property & (b) Filling of your ITRs in time.
Most welcome for any further clarification. Thanks.

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