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21-Year-Old Medical Student Struggling After Breakup and Missed Opportunities - What Can I Do?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |750 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

A bit long story I'm 21 student preparing for medical competative entrance exam for past 3 years (21-24).2 year ago this phase I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months with a girl I met in my class .But it didn't last long due to the problems created due to distance as she couldn't understand myself and I couldn't understand herself.so there was a misunderstanding and I couldn't hold on as I was in heavy pressure by exams and financial problems.so I couldn't handle and I felt like too early and broke up with her by losing my mind.she was completely disappointed as I didn't speak to her for more than an year due to one more year preparation.i missed her very much but I didnt tell her.I missed govt seat in border mark and the same year she got into a relationship with another guy in her class.i don't blame her. But I feel like my entire life is shattered and I couldn't move on from that girl till now.I couldn't concentrate on my career too.im kind of person who is always confident in all aspects but I have totally lost my mind .I can see that in an danger situation as age is running and family pressure, everyone of my classmates are far ahead of me I couldn't withstand this situation and couldn't make proper decision in any aspect. Mam please help me out.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns. The first step is to focus on moving on; she has, and you should too. Prioritize your career, your family, and your future. Next, what has happened to your career progress has already happened. It's unfortunate, but there's no way to change that. But give yourself a second chance; work harder and achieve greater things than you even imagined before. Trust me, you are not the only person who is standing in a situation like this. Many have, and many more will. But the ones who have passed this time will give you the same advice that I did.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Relationship
Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |750 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

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Relationship
I started a relationship with a girl. First we thought it just a relationship no marriage. But as days going we fell deep into each other that we cant live without each other. I found one thing that she loving more than needed. Im so scared of her, what will she do if i run out of her life for my marriage. This thought killed me. So I decided to leave her without telling a reason. I left her with a small issue. I really dont want to loose but i had to. I just said good bye, she also said good bye. Later i never texted her. She too never texted me. But after 2 months i felt guilty of leaving so i came back to her. Previously her parents decided to marry her to their son in law. I know this when were in relationship. So after our breakup i came back to her. But she said no to me because she is committed with her brother in law. I cant take this. Its killing me. After i said good bye she never tried to contact me for patch-up. Even no texts. Her brother in law told her that im ready to marry you. So she too said i too like you and im also ready to marry you. But their marriage will happen in 2026. I told her that untill marriage please be with me and this is our deal when we started our relationship. But she said no. I begged her many times but she always said no to me. And still now i cant believe that she said no to me. All this happened 3 months ago but still i cant forget her. Recently she deleted my number also. Everything making me feel low. What should i do now?
Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |750 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was not all at studious till class 8.i used to rank hardly 45 th in a class of 50 students.Then in class 9,my teacher changed my section.When I went to the new section,I felt in love at first sight.This was my first love obviously (But one-sided).She was a topper and beautiful.I proposed her.She rejected me and told me that I am worthless and I have no future.I was very sad for 6-8 months.After that I decided to prove her that I am worthy and I can do something.I left everything (cricket,karate,dance, singing, drawing, swimming-I used to learn them but I left).I completely focused on to prove my love.I started studying for more than 10 hrs daily.I was just 8 marks behind her in my 10 boards.I cried a lot that I lost the battle.She became 6 th and I became 9 th in class in 10 th class.Then I gathered hopes again.This time I started studying as much as I could(14-16 hrs daily).I became 2nd in class 12 and she became 3rd.I got just 1 mark more than her.I know it's a great win.I have proven myself but I don't know why I can't move on from her.I have been in 4 relationship in 4 respective years (class-9 -10 -11 -12 respectively) but I am not finding any interest in these relationships.I am completely confused what is happening with me. Please tell me what should I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I love how you took a negative comment on you and turned it into something so positive and productive. Though revenge is never the right approach, I must commend you for your dedication and for letting it be a driving force for something amazing. Now, coming to your question, why you are not being able to forget her? It's simple. You have let her words affect you and you are still holding on to it. As amazing as your results are, you seem happier to have beaten her than about your own success. I suggest focusing on yourself now. You did great! You deserve to be proud of yourself, for your efforts and achievements, not for achieving more than her. And one more thing, do you want to date someone who had such a low opinion of you? Is that how you see yourself? Trust me, you deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings and is proud of you. And about your relationships not working, you are still a kid. You have plenty of time to find the right relationship and when you do, it will work.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2026
Money
I am a 54 year old male working abroad. I have below investments. I have below investments so far: PPF 55 lakhs,EPF 36 lakhs, MF (total cumulative) 5.5 crores ,Employee superannuity+gratuity 14.5 lakhs, NPS 17 lakhs Monthly MF SIP ongoing 2 lakhs Company FD 10 lakhs Gold 16 lakhs. I am well covered in life insurance as well as medical insurance. My question is 1) My wife is getting a one time windfall of Rs .80 Lakhs as part of her share in her ancestral property. a)Pls guide me on how to invest this money b) what are the ways to save on tax eg. rbi relief bonds etc? c) if rbi relief bonds how much is the maximum limit d) beyond that limit where should i remaining balance?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your investment details. You have built a substantial investment portfolio through regular investing. The key now is to invest your wifes Rs.80 lakh windfall in a tax-efficient manner without adding unnecessary risk.

» Assessment of Your Current Portfolio

– Your existing investments are spread across mutual funds, EPF, PPF, NPS, company deposits and gold.

– Your mutual fund corpus is already substantial, with an ongoing SIP of Rs.2 lakh per month.

– Therefore, the entire windfall need not go into equity mutual funds. Your decision should depend on your retirement age, expected expenses, tax residency and the level of risk you are comfortable taking.

– Since you are working abroad, your residential status under Indian tax laws is important. The tax treatment of your investments and interest income can differ based on whether you qualify as a resident, NRI or RNOR.

» 1. How to Invest the Rs.80 Lakh Windfall

First, keep the money in your wifes name if she is the legal recipient of the ancestral property proceeds. Maintain proper documents showing the source of funds.

Consider dividing the money into three broad purposes:

– Safety and liquidity: Keep a suitable amount in bank deposits or other low-risk instruments for emergencies and expenses expected in the next few years.

– Stable income: Consider suitable government-backed or high-quality fixed-income options, after checking eligibility, taxation, lock-in and withdrawal rules.

– Long-term growth: Invest a portion in diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds if the money is not required for at least 7–10 years.

Since your existing mutual fund corpus is already Rs.5.5 crore, avoid putting the entire Rs.80 lakh into equity without reviewing your overall asset allocation. Your present equity exposure may already be sufficient for your retirement goals.

» 2. Can You Save Tax Through RBI Bonds?

It is important to distinguish between tax-saving investments and investments that offer safety or regular interest income.

RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds are generally considered for investors seeking government-backed interest income. However, they are not a tax-saving instrument.

– Interest earned is taxable according to the applicable income tax rules.

– Investing in these bonds does not automatically provide a deduction under Section 80C.

– The bonds have a seven-year maturity period for ordinary individual investors, with premature encashment permitted only under specified conditions for eligible senior citizens.

– Interest rates are reset periodically, so the income may change over time.

Hence, these bonds can be considered for the safety and income portion of the portfolio, but not as a way to reduce tax on the windfall itself.

» 3. What Is the Maximum Investment Limit in RBI Bonds?

– There is no maximum investment limit in RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds.

– However, these bonds are available to eligible resident individuals and HUFs. If your wife is an NRI, she would not be eligible to invest in these bonds under the current eligibility rules. Confirm her residential status before proceeding.

– The interest rate for July–December 2026 is 8.05% per annum, payable half-yearly. The rate is reset periodically.

– The maturity period is seven years, and liquidity is limited. Premature encashment is allowed only for eligible senior citizens after the specified lock-in period.

Therefore, these bonds may suit the stable-income portion of your wifes portfolio, provided she is eligible and can accept the lock-in.

» 4. Can You Save Capital Gains Tax on the Ancestral Property?

This is an important point to clarify before investing the money.

– If your wife received the property through inheritance, the inheritance itself is generally not taxable as income.

– However, if the ancestral property was sold and Rs.80 lakh represents her share of the sale proceeds, capital gains tax may arise. The taxable gain is not necessarily the entire amount received.

– Depending on the facts, Section 54EC capital gains bonds may offer tax relief when eligible long-term capital gains arise from the sale of land or a building.

– The maximum investment eligible for this exemption is Rs.50 lakh, subject to the applicable conditions and timelines. The investment must generally be made within six months of the transfer.

– These are different from RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds. Section 54EC bonds are meant for eligible capital gains exemption, whereas RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds provide taxable interest income.

If the property has already been sold, please check the sale date immediately. The deadline for claiming an exemption may be important.

» 5. Where Should You Invest the Remaining Amount?

If your wife is eligible for Section 54EC bonds and has sufficient eligible capital gains, up to Rs.50 lakh may be considered for that purpose.

The remaining amount can be allocated based on your financial goals.

– Bank deposits or other suitable fixed-income investments for short-term needs and capital safety.

– High-quality fixed-income instruments for the portion meant to provide stability.

– Diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds for long-term growth, if your overall portfolio review shows that additional equity exposure is appropriate.

Do not invest in a particular product only because it offers a tax benefit. Consider liquidity, taxation, maturity and the purpose of the investment.

» 6. My Final Assessment

Your family already has a strong investment base. At age 54, retirement planning, tax efficiency and asset allocation deserve more attention than simply maximising returns.

Before investing the Rs.80 lakh, please clarify these three points:

– Is the Rs.80 lakh received from an actual sale of ancestral property, or has your wife received the property itself as her share?

– Is your wife an Indian resident or an NRI for income-tax purposes?

– When was the property sold, if a sale has taken place?

These details will help determine whether capital gains tax applies, whether Section 54EC bonds are suitable, and how the remaining money can be invested efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Money
my father is 75 years old and my mother is 70 years old, she has stent in the heart, can you recommend which is the best health insurance policy for them. thanks
Ans: Thank you for sharing your parents details. Having health insurance at this age is important, especially when your mother has a heart stent.

» Health Insurance for Your Parents

– At 75 and 70 years, getting a new health insurance policy may be difficult. Premiums can also be high, and some insurers may not accept the application.

– Your fathers health condition and your mothers heart history will be considered during underwriting. Since your mother has a heart stent, the insurer may impose waiting periods, exclusions or other conditions.

– Do not choose a policy based on premium alone. Check the coverage, room rent limits, co-payment, disease-wise limits and claim conditions carefully.

» What You Should Check Before Buying

– Look for a senior citizen health insurance policy that accepts applicants of their ages and offers reasonable hospitalisation coverage.

– For your mother, disclose the heart stent procedure and all related medical details honestly. Ask the insurer in writing whether future cardiac treatment will be covered and from when.

– Check the co-payment clause. If the policy has a 20% co-payment, you may have to pay 20% of eligible hospital expenses yourself.

– Check pre-existing disease waiting periods. Existing heart conditions may not be covered immediately.

– Check whether the policy has limits on ICU charges, room rent, specific treatments or the total amount payable for certain illnesses.

» Consider These Alternatives

– If your parents already have health insurance, check whether it can be continued or enhanced. Keeping existing coverage may be more useful than buying a new policy.

– Check whether they have any employer-sponsored, government-sponsored or other eligible health coverage.

– If new insurance is unavailable or too costly, maintain a separate medical emergency fund. This will help meet hospital expenses not covered by insurance.

» My Assessment

At their ages, I would first check existing insurance and its continuation options. Then compare new policies based on actual coverage and exclusions.

For your mother, written confirmation about cardiac coverage is especially important. Do not assume that a policy will cover heart-related treatment simply because the insurer accepts her application.

Please share these three details for a more suitable assessment:

– Do your parents currently have any health insurance? If yes, what is the sum insured?

– Which city do they live in?

– Does your mother have any other medical conditions apart from the heart stent?

With these details, we can narrow down the available options and identify the most practical way to protect your parents from large medical expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |429 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2026
Career
In my office, there are times when a colleague gets stuck with some work or makes a mistake, and I try to help them so that the work gets completed on time. Sometimes, I even put my own work aside to help them because I feel that we should support each other as a team. But when I am busy with my own tasks and need some help, the same colleagues are not always available. They may say they are busy or ask me to manage it myself. I don’t want to stop helping others because of this, as I feel it is important to maintain good relationships at work. At the same time, I sometimes feel that people take my helpful nature for granted, and my own work gets delayed because of it. I also worry that if I start refusing to help, my colleagues may think I have become selfish or uncooperative.
Ans: Dear

Very good question.

Few things let's get it clear. Each one is hired for a particular role and deliverables and they are paid for that.

You are hired first to do your work and deliverables assigned to you. Helping colleagues with their work, while letting your work aside is akin to not doing your responsibility.

My suggestion would be first focus on your work, if someone approaches you with a help and assistance for their work, you can provide them with guidance but do not end up doing their work.

If you are in the midst of your work and someone approaches you, you can politely yet firmly tell them that you are in mids if an important work and once done you will call them. DO NOT set aside your work for someone else. Remember you are working in a corporate world and not some social charitable organisation where any one can do everyone's work.

Hope this helps. All the best.

Warm Regards
KK

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