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Anu Krishna955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

Asked on - Apr 06, 2022Hindi

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Relationship
Hi I am 23 years old and had a first relationship with 4 years younger boy.
Everything between us was picture perfect. He was everything I ever dreamt of, but after 1 year our relationship turned toxic.
He's acting like he wasn’t aware that ups and downs come but we should stick to each other.
He asked to break up twice and we again came together but now it’s been months we aren’t together anymore.
I’m emotionally attached to him but tired of bearing this pain and constantly fearing he will leave me when conditions aren’t favourable. 
But after break up he still wants to be friends. I even agreed that.
Even in friendship he's talking and roaming as per only his convenience.
Guide me how to come out of pain as I’m pursuing one of the renowned career course and also this also is affecting my mental health.

Ans:

Dear D,

Emotional maturity is what is in question here. He still is at an age where commitment is not something he is aware of.

It’s like try this relationship, if it doesn’t work, try another one and so on….

Give him time to settle his emotions till he is ready for a committed relationship; which does not mean, you wait around for ever.

Now that you are ‘friends’ or not, please surround yourself with people your age and if an interesting person comes along, see where that goes.

As far as being attached to him goes, do you really want to continue to inflict pain on yourself by basing your entire emotional world with him?

The world is huge and so are your sights…. Focus on yourself and what you love and be in that space to find yourself again.

Be kind to yourself, all the best! 

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Anu

Anu Krishna955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

Asked on - Aug 12, 2021Hindi

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Relationship
I'm an orphan and somehow I'm financially stable. After Covid my wife also lost almost all her family members. So kind of both are orphans now.

We want at least 10 children now and this is well thought decision.

My wife is over 35 still recovering with post Caeserian trauma after our 1st child naturally our target is impossible now however best sex or ways we try.

She too is ready for anything any relationship which can give us minimum 10 children (genetically ours) and adoption we'll consider only out of love and not this or other needs, to add family beyond 10 children, if possible.

With nasty bad luck, we have no other choice except this well thought decision.

Kindly help us know how we can achieve. We're ready for any sort of extra marital or any other relationships or surrogacy etc.

Please help Anu ma'am.

Ans: Dear D, It is indeed a tough phase that you have been through.

Losing loved ones is very draining emotionally and I can only imagine the pain that you both feel.

Having said this, I am not about to question or judge why you want 10 children or the methods you want to achieve that number. That's your personal decision.

But my job as a Mind Coach is to point out that extra marital affairs and a pregnancy from that can lead to complicated relationship arrangements.

Who will care for the baby? Will three people co-parent?

How do you propose to deal with the emotional and developmental effects on the baby who has to understand who is are his/her parents?

Surrogacy is an option that you might want to look at considering that your wife is also over 35 years.

Adoption is worth considering if you look a giving another child a home and also you have a child within your family.

Whatever your decision, also consider the financial responsibilities of raising 10 children.

I am only giving you various perspectives and also suggest: Please speak to someone neutral; it could be a counsellor or a close friend where you can release your grief of losing your loved ones.

Sit with them and weigh this entire proposition and hear their objective thought process.

Whatever you decide, bring a child into your home and hearts knowing that you can give them a loving home, support and care.

If you are convinced after all deliberations, make a wise decision with your wife and raise that huge family that you are dreaming of.

Be a happy family.

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