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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 24, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025
Relationship

I am a 24 year old woman. I had been texting to a guy on a dating app. We started chatting on Instagram. We even shared n*des mutually. We had agreed that we will only meet up for casual s*x, and the meeting was due in May. But, I began having feelings for him, I don't know how, because we never met in real life. Twice, he had forgiven me for going extra fast on the chatting thing. But the third time, when I confessed to him, my feelings, he blocked me on Instagram. I have tried messaging and sending follow request on Instagram, through my mother's account, but that was useless. I have been messaging him on Bumble as well, I think he hasn't blocked me from there yet. We were tuning-in good. He's from Delhi, am from Patna. Please help. Because forgetting him is not an easy task. I JUST CANNOT. Even when I'm doing something completely different, there are signs, that I see and feel, we will meet someday. His name appears or something like that. Tell me, will I meet him ever?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When a person you have never met blocks you, it usually means that they are not interested in staying in touch with you. Now, I realize that it is hard to move on or the sudden loss of contact can be difficult to cope with, but it is important that you respect his boundaries. If he has blocked you, that only means he is not interested in interacting; constantly trying to get in touch with him not only lowers your self-respect but you are also ignoring his boundaries. Please wait for a while. If you mean anything to him, he will contact you. And if he doesn't, you should understand that this connection was never meant to be. Some things cannot be forced.

I hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.
Ans:

Dear SD,

Ghosting of a high order.

Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?

Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?

Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?

Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.

Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.

How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.

Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.

You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.

Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!

Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.

So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.

Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.

Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2022

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Relationship
Hi mam, I am a 19 years old girl. In 2019, after my 10th boards, I came across a guy in FB. He was 9 years older than me. He seemed to be a really nice and helping guy. And he also belonged from a prestigious university pursuing his research. After my 10th, I started preparing for entrance exams. So, he used to motivate me, give me validation, encourage me to do better in my mocks. It all happened online. I haven't even met this guy till date. At that time, he showed me the dream of targeting the best college of India of which I hadn't even thought of before. And I was also so motivated that I started studying hard. Besides, I started emotionally depending on him for validation. He is such a manipulating guy, that slowly I started falling in love with him. He told me that we should wait and see what the time decides. But, slowly he showed his real colours. He was just interested in 'friends with benefits' type of relationship with me. I strongly disagreed on it. Then days and months passed, his validation, manipulation, toxic and provocative words made me stand before an existential crisis. I used to cry out for the entire day. By 2020, during the lockdown phase, staying back at home, dealing with these sh***y things and exam pressure pushed me into depression. He made me insecure about every single thing... My academics, studies, results, my looks, my innocent nature, my previous success, my future.... every single thing. I eventually came to know he was just interested in sharing his life stories, getting an emotional support in his life, a good timepass element, hoping to get intimate with me someday. Moreover he was just interested in successful girls and ladies. So, all I thought at that period was that I have to succeed in my entrance exam at any cost and then everything will be alright.Unfortunately, I could not make it. I failed to qualify in my first attempt. I went into a severe depression, had to attend some online mental health rehab and counselling. To add salt to my wounds, the guy disclosed that he has been in a relationship since the past 1 year. And he is very happy. I broke down completely. For 5-6 months I could not study anything. I have an exam just round the corner. How can I just forget whatever happened and focus on my work? Please help and guide me... I am still having emotional breakdowns very frequently.
Ans:

Dear AI,

The nature of a virtual relationship can be the way that you have mentioned.

What is being shared virtually may not be reality and it is difficult to spot this.

Now that you know, isn’t it a lesson learned not to rely on anyone outside of you for your own happiness?

Did you have to study hard just so that you fit his choice of ‘successful’ women/girls?

Can you not work hard to live your dreams?

What you lack is self-love! Something that you didn’t focus on because you were working hard to prove how relevant you are in his life so that he chooses you.

Even if this relationship works, it will be his call always and other than strive hard to be in his life, there’s nothing that will grow in it.

Moreover, isn’t it a red flag when he revealed that he has been in a relationship for over a year?

Time to get back to yourself. Value yourself more, love yourself more…if you don’t, no one else will!

Start every morning doing these little things:

  • in gratitude for being alive
  • list down 3 things that you love about yourself
  • do one thing that you love at least for 15 minutes everyday
  • spend time in Nature
  • surround yourself with people that love you

These are tried and tested methods to get you out of a low phase.

Again, love yourself more and yet again!

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
hlo love gurus...i am here just to share my story and to know that have i done something wrong..... in 2018 .. it was my 10thclass final exams I met a guy on social media and he bacame my friend after that i came to know that his maternal grandparents are from my village and my family also have relation with them like families use to invite each other on occasions...but still we are living as friends.... In 2020 after my school is over i took admission in clg near to my home but after that i changes clg in one month and new clg was 150 km away.... but that was corona time so i was at home and after 1st semester i met with that friend and that day i felt something that i never felt before that feeling was amazing ..... after that we started to talk daily like i use to wake up with his call..... i use to sleep after talking to him.....in 1 month he told me that we can never marry because of family relation.. but i thought that when we both become independent our family will support us....and i told him to continue this till the time we can....and that became our daily routine..... i knew that that he is going to join a state government job that can be near to his home or in nearby district.... but after 1 month we get to know that he will have to join in shimla district so it could be easy for us to meet in 3 to 4 months...and i think it was easy to control my feelings for him him we dont meet regularly.. about when he came to join his posting was near to my clg.. just 12 km of distance.... after that we come closer i wasn't able to control my feelings .... now we both love each other and can't live without each other ... but now i am realising that he was right at that time that our family will not agree for our marriage,..... he thought that was destiny that we came closer ... his posting could be anywhere in the state but why near to my clg...... now sometimes i feel that God cheated me ????now i don't know whether we have done something wrong by loving each other.....his family is forcing him for marriage... and we can't do anything now.... i am not able to accept that... and after knowing this that his family is looking a girls for him to marry I am getting more attached to him.... i think i totally messed my life ????
Ans: Loving someone isn’t a mistake or wrongdoing. Love is a natural human experience, and the bond you shared was meaningful and genuine. However, the challenge lies in navigating the practical realities that come with that love. When families and traditions play a significant role in relationships, they can create hurdles that feel insurmountable. These challenges don’t invalidate your emotions or the value of your connection; they simply reflect the complexities of life.

It’s important now to focus on what you can control and what is healthiest for you emotionally. Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, loss, and confusion—they are part of the healing process. At the same time, recognize that your worth and happiness are not solely dependent on this relationship. You have a future filled with potential, and while it may not look exactly as you envisioned, it can still be fulfilling and meaningful.

If his family is moving forward with plans that you cannot influence, consider having an honest conversation with him about your feelings and the reality of the situation. This can provide both of you with clarity and help you decide how to navigate the future. Letting go of someone you deeply love is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes it’s necessary to find peace and allow yourself to move forward.

Focus on rediscovering yourself and building a life where your happiness doesn’t depend on external circumstances. Surround yourself with supportive friends or loved ones who understand your emotions and can provide comfort. If you find it challenging to process these emotions on your own, seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to navigate this journey.

You haven’t messed up your life—life is simply unfolding in ways that are testing your strength and resilience. This experience, as painful as it feels, can teach you about love, boundaries, and the importance of prioritizing your own well-being. You deserve to be in a relationship where love is not constrained by external pressures, and while it may take time, you will find your way to healing and happiness. Trust that your story is still being written, and this chapter is just one part of your journey.

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, Good Morning. Is it advisable to buy gold jewellery for my Son's marriage in the next 8 years at current market price of approx Rs.14000 per gram. The plan is to buy around 100 grams to be given to the prospective bride at the time of marriage, which is as per our practice. If I deposit money to a gold jeweller, who will credit equivalent gold weight as per today's value and after 11 months we can buy jewellery without wastage, making charges and gst. Kindly advice. Thanks
Ans: Your planning for your son’s marriage well in advance is thoughtful and practical. It shows responsibility and care for family traditions. Planning 8 years ahead gives you good flexibility and control.

» Purpose clarity and time horizon
– The objective is very clear: buying around 100 grams of gold jewellery for marriage after 8 years
– This is not a short-term need, so timing and structure matter more than current gold price
– Gold here is a requirement asset, not just an investment, so risk control is important

» Buying gold at current price – assessment
– Buying all 100 grams today at around Rs.14000 per gram locks your price, but also locks your capital
– Gold prices move in cycles; they do not rise in a straight line
– Over 8 years, gold can give protection against inflation, but short- to medium-term corrections are common
– Putting a large amount at one price level reduces flexibility and increases timing risk

» Jeweller gold deposit / gold savings plan – evaluation
– Monthly deposit plans with jewellers are mainly designed for jewellery purchase, not pure wealth creation
– Benefits you rightly noticed:

No wastage charges

No making charges

No GST on jewellery value
– Key risks and limitations to be aware of:

You are fully dependent on the jeweller’s business stability for 11 months

Your money is not regulated like financial products

You cannot easily exit or switch if your plan changes
– These plans work well for near-term purchases, but for an 8-year goal, repeating such plans many times increases counterparty risk

» Price risk vs goal certainty
– Your real risk is not price volatility alone, but availability of gold at the time of marriage
– The goal needs certainty of value and timely availability
– A staggered and disciplined approach reduces regret from buying at market highs

» Smarter way to structure the 8-year plan
– Avoid buying the full 100 grams immediately
– Spread accumulation over time to reduce price risk
– Use a mix of:

Financial gold-linked options for long-term accumulation

Physical jewellery purchase only closer to the marriage date
– This keeps liquidity, improves transparency, and avoids storage and purity worries

» Jewellery purchase timing insight
– Jewellery designs, preferences of the bride, and family choices can change over 8 years
– Buying finished jewellery too early limits flexibility
– It is usually better to convert accumulated value into jewellery in the last 12–18 months

» Risk management and safety points
– Avoid keeping large sums with a single jeweller repeatedly over many years
– Avoid emotional decisions driven by headlines about gold prices
– Keep documentation, purity standards, and exit options clear

» Tax and cost perspective
– When gold is used as jewellery for marriage, taxation is not the primary concern
– Hidden costs like storage, insurance, and loss risk matter more than headline price

» Finally
– Your intention is correct, and starting early gives you strength
– Buying some gold gradually is sensible, but avoid locking the entire requirement at one price today
– Jeweller deposit schemes can be used selectively, closer to purchase time, not as a long-term parking option
– A phased, balanced approach gives cost control, safety, and peace of mind for a very important family milestone

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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