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Can a Long-distance Relationship Started Online with a Neighboring State Guy Work? 21-year-old Indian Woman Seeks Advice

Ravi Mittal |599 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi

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hello. I'm from India, 21 y/o. I met this guy on insta, same age, around a year ago. we were good friends, but now he has feelings for me. he wants a relationship, and a serious one. he gives me time and talks about our future together too. he's from a neighboring state; we have never met. I've developed feelings for him too, I'm just uncertain of having a relationship without meeting, since online and offline personalities can differ. I like him a lot. he has given me time to process my feelings, I'm just a little scared. can this type of relationship work? what should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A lot of successful love stories start online but they do not go anywhere if it stays online. Before making any kind of commitment you must meet the person IRL. And before meeting him IRL, you must take safety precautions in case things don't go as expected. If you plan to meet, you must inform the time, place, and location to your parents and close friends, always pick a public space that is bustling with people, and if you feel even remotely uncomfortable or your instinct says the date's not going well, feel free to get out without any guilt. Safety comes first.

Best Wishes.

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Anu Krishna |1617 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

Question by VG - Apr 13, 2022Hindi

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Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?

Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

Relationship1

Ravi Mittal |599 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2024Hindi

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I'm 22 and i meet a guy online. He's 28 we've been talking for 6 days now and he said he wanted to marry me. We had so many differences (culture, religion,place,food ,etc) but he said he's okay and he won't force me to change. As long as we love each other he won't mind our differences and even his parents too. What should I do? I've never been in distance relationship and we are still getting to know each other.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's amazing that he or his parents don't mind the differences but it also matters if you mind it. And another thing- are six days enough time to propose marriage to someone you met over the Internet or even accept it? I suggest you plan to meet in person, and then commit to anything. And even then if you are bothered about the differences, you consider all things so that there's no doubt in your mind. I would urge you to not rush or get distracted by grand gestures. As amazing as it is, it's important to be very careful. And if you decide to move ahead with it, speak to your parents and make sure his parents are also in the picture.

Best Wishes.

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