I am 20 yrs old. I had relationship with a girl for 2years, whom I loved the most. But she cheated me by having sex with other guys. I don't know why she did this to me. I am totally depressed. Not getting rid of her from my mind. Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am assuming you want to know what you must do next. If this is a regular thing, judging from the "men" in your question, then reconsider the relationship. Cheating, in most cases, is unacceptable and if it happens multiple times, it's even worse. Speak to her about your worries; let her know that this is unacceptable. And remember that it is okay to pick yourself. You don't deserve to be cheated on.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Heartbreaks can show up in the body as aches and pains; but do visit the doctor to rule out any issue causing the pain in your chest.
I would suggest 'taking a break' from your relationship to process what has gone on...being cheated upon is not easy to digest and you need the time to understand what has happened.
Yes, loss of trust can be very difficult to repair but whether you want to forgive her or not, trust her again or not are things to be dealt with as you go into this 'break mode' as it will allow the anger to heighten, simmer and then dull down while the importance of this person in your life will arise where you can then ask yourself if you wish to continue this relationship or you actually can do away with it.
I do feel that you will benefit from working with a professional on this as your mind state can interfere in the process of reflection and healing. So, do consider that as well...
I will not say that Time Heals, but Time gives you an opportunity to reflect and learn...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: if her cheating on you is bothering you so much - let it go - it is not just about you loving them, they need to feel the same for you - agree or disagree.

Ans: The first step to getting over her thoughts is to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel hurt, rejected, or confused. You're not alone in this, and these emotions are a natural part of the human experience. However, continuing to chase after someone who isn't reciprocating your feelings is only prolonging your pain.

You need to accept that she has moved on, even if she did show interest in the past. People’s feelings and circumstances change, and it’s likely that she decided to prioritize her family and her life away from you. Holding on to the desire to be with her is preventing you from moving forward. It’s crucial to let go of the fantasy of what could have been and focus on the reality of the situation.

To start the healing process, consider cutting off all communication with her. Continuing to reach out, even if it's just occasionally, keeps the wound open. Delete her contact information, block her on social media, and avoid places or situations that might remind you of her. It may seem extreme, but it’s a necessary step to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

Reconnecting with your own life is the next important step. Reflect on your marriage and figure out what led to the emotional distance with your wife. Was it purely because of the attraction to this other woman, or were there underlying issues in your marriage before that? Understanding this can help you decide how to move forward, whether it's by working on rebuilding intimacy with your wife or seeking couples' counseling to address any unresolved issues.

It’s also vital to focus on yourself. Engage in activities that you enjoy, pursue new hobbies, and spend quality time with your children. Sometimes, redirecting emotional energy into positive experiences helps to lessen the emotional grip someone has over you.

If the thoughts about her continue to dominate your mind, or if you’re struggling with feelings of guilt, sadness, or anger, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you process these emotions, explore the reasons behind your attachment, and guide you toward healing and self-acceptance.

Remember, it’s not just about moving on from her but also about rediscovering yourself and finding fulfillment in your life and marriage once again. You're not alone, and it's okay to seek help when you're feeling stuck.