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Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 21, 2024

Rishta Guru is a relationship expert whose advice goes beyond romance. Rishta Guru can also guide you about the problems you face at home, with your friends, in your building, at your educational institution or at your workplace.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My 13-year-old son is starting to ask questions about sex and relationships. While I want to be open and honest, I'm unsure how to navigate these sensitive conversations and ensure he has accurate information and make healthy choices.

Ans: Hi. Thank you for asking this important question.

While navigating conversations about sex and relationships with your 13-year-old son can be challenging, these kinds of conversations are crucial.

Here are some tips that might help:

Create an open environment: Let your son know that he can come to you with any questions or concerns about sex and relationships without fear of judgment or punishment. Ensure that he feels comfortable discussing these topics with you.

Be honest and age-appropriate: Provide accurate information in a way that is appropriate for his age and level of understanding. Start with the basics and gradually introduce more complex topics as he grows older.

Use proper terminology: Use correct anatomical terms when discussing body parts and functions. This helps to reduce the stigma and confusion around these topics.

Listen actively: Pay attention to your son's questions and concerns. Let him know that his thoughts and emotions are important and normal.

Encourage critical thinking: Help your son think critically about media portrayals of sex and relationships and how they may differ from reality. Discuss issues like consent, respect for the opposite sex and healthy boundaries.

Inculcate values and beliefs: Talk about your family's values regarding sex, relationships and intimacy. Discuss topics such as mutual respect, consent and the emotional aspects of relationships.

Provide resources: Offer books and other resources that provide reliable information about puberty, sex and relationships. This can supplement your conversations and give your son additional information to explore on his own.

Set clear boundaries: Discuss the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and respecting the boundaries of others. Teach him to recognise and assert his own boundaries in various situations.

Educate him about peer pressure and risky behaviour: Talk to your son about peer pressure and how to make informed decisions, especially when it comes to risky behaviour like unprotected sex.

Remember, these conversations are part of a larger ongoing dialogue about sex, relationships and personal development. By being open, honest and supportive, you can help your son navigate these topics in a healthy and informed manner.

All the best.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My 14-year-old lied about going to a friend's house and snuck out to attend a party without permission. He also recently admitted to experimenting with vaping. I'm feeling hurt, disappointed and scared. How can I set clear boundaries and help him make responsible choices?
Ans: Hello. As a parent, I can understand your hurt, disappointment and fear.

It's natural to feel betrayed when your child deceives you and engages in risky behaviour.

Here are some steps you can take to set clear boundaries and help your 14-year-old make responsible choices:

1. Talk about the lies and sneaking out

Once you've calmed down, initiate a conversation without yelling or shaming. Explain how his actions have affected you and why trust is crucial in your relationship.

Set consequences. Grounding or restricting technology access are some options. Be clear about the duration and expectations.

Encourage him to express his feelings and motivation for sneaking out. Listen actively without judgment and validate his emotions.

Emphasise safety. Address the dangers of unsupervised parties and explain why knowing his whereabouts is important for his safety and your peace of mind.

2. Address the vaping

Stay informed. Educate yourself about the risks of vaping, its health impacts, and potential addiction.
Have an open conversation. Discuss the dangers of vaping openly and calmly. Share your concerns and listen to his reasons for trying it.

Set clear expectations. Clearly state your disapproval about vaping. Explain the consequences of continuing, emphasizing both health and disciplinary considerations. Ask him to stop doing it.

Let him know you're there to help him quit the habit. Explore resources like hotlines, support groups or therapists specialising in teen substance abuse.

3. What you can also do

Have a safe space for open communication where he can express his thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Regular, open communication builds trust and allows you to guide him through challenges.

Establish clear expectations for behaviour, homework, chores and technology use. Discuss them openly and ensure he understands the reasoning behind them.

Acknowledge and praise responsible choices and positive behaviour. Reinforce positive actions to encourage him to make good decisions.

Teach him healthy coping mechanisms for stress, peer pressure and difficult emotions. Encourage activities like sports, hobbies or creative outlets.

Lead by example. Be mindful of your own behaviour and choices. Teens learn by observing so be conscious about how you behave.

Remember, this process takes time and patience. Be consistent, stay calm and be open to working together with your son to build trust and encourage responsible choices. If you feel overwhelmed or need additional support, seeking professional guidance from a family therapist or counsellor can be very helpful.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My son is a huge fan of podcaster Ranveer Allahbadia. Initially, he came across as one of those dumb so called influencers, but some of his content on religion and politics have also been interesting. I recently came to know that my son has watched this controversial show called India's got Latent and now he is clearly defending the guy and the entire team. My son is 17, uses a shared smartphone and accesses internet on WiFi. I don't know if he even understands what he is watching and how it can shape opinions. His father wants me to keep a watch on his internet usage, which I am not too sure of. In a few months, he will be 18. How do you think I can talk to him and help him understand that social media to be taken with a pinch of salt?
Ans: At 17, he’s at an age where he’s forming his own opinions, and if you try to restrict or overly monitor him, he may just push back harder. The best approach is to have an open, respectful conversation with him rather than making it seem like you’re trying to police him.

Start by acknowledging his interests instead of dismissing them outright. You could ask him what he likes about Ranveer Allahbadia or India’s Got Latent—not in a confrontational way, but out of genuine curiosity. If he feels heard, he’s more likely to listen to your perspective as well.

Once he opens up, steer the conversation toward critical thinking. Talk to him about how media, especially social media, has biases. Encourage him to question what he watches, look at different perspectives, and fact-check before forming strong opinions. Instead of outright saying something is wrong or misleading, help him analyze things logically. You could even watch an episode with him and then discuss what parts made sense and what seemed exaggerated or one-sided.

Since he’s about to turn 18, it’s important to equip him with the ability to think for himself rather than simply filtering his content now. If he sees that you trust him to make informed decisions, he will be more open to discussions with you in the future. Instead of monitoring his internet usage, focus on fostering a mindset where he self-monitors what he consumes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9445 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
BITS Goa EEE or NIT Calicut EEE
Ans: BITS Pilani K.K. Birla Goa Campus offers a B.E. in Electrical & Electronics Engineering with NAAC A+ accreditation and Institute of Eminence status. The program features modern infrastructure including specialized EEE laboratories, a Central Sophisticated Instrumentation Facility with advanced equipment like confocal microscope, FESEM, and Raman spectrometer, alongside comprehensive industry partnerships including Amazon Web Services and GitHub for startup support. The campus spans 180 acres with fully residential facilities and smart classrooms. NIT Calicut's B.Tech in Electrical & Electronics Engineering holds NBA accreditation for 6 years (2022-2028) under the stringent Tier-I evaluation scheme and is ranked 25th in NIRF Engineering rankings 2024. The institute achieved a remarkable 97.01% placement rate for EEE students in 2024, with 130 out of 134 registered students securing positions, demonstrating exceptional industry demand. Both institutions maintain essential benchmarks including statutory approvals, modern laboratory facilities, research-active faculty with doctoral qualifications, active industry Mships, and consistent placement support exceeding 75% over three years. BITS Goa commands higher fees of ?20.76 lakh for the complete program versus NIT Calicut's ?5 lakh, but offers unique Practice School programs ensuring 7+ months of industry experience. The BITS alumni network includes prominent entrepreneurs and unicorn founders, while NIT Calicut benefits from the extensive NIT Alumni Network spanning multiple countries.

Recommendation: Choose NIT Calicut's EEE for its exceptional 97% placement consistency, NBA Tier-I accreditation, cost-effectiveness at ?5 lakh fees, and strong government institute reputation with established industry connections. Consider BITS Goa's EEE if you prioritize unique Practice School industry exposure, Institute of Eminence status, entrepreneurial alumni network, and can afford the higher fee structure for comprehensive residential campus experience. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9854 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 38 right now, I have 60 Lacs in mutual funds , I dont have any liabilities and I dont want to have kids in future. I have a house on which there is no loan I have properties worth 4 cr which I am planning to sell and invest in properties where I can get rent, a rental yield of 3-4% so that I can earn monthly rent. I have health insurance of 10 lacs, but since I have kidney problems no company will give me health insurance now. I have term insurance of 50 Lacs. I want to retire at 40, is it possible, considering my lifestyle my monthly expense is hardly 30k, I take a trip once a year so my yearly expense will be 5-6 Lacs max not more than that. I am fed up with my job and just want to quit and live peacefully, what is your advise??
Ans: Your clarity of thought is very good.
You have no debt.
You have good savings.
And you understand your expenses well.
This gives you a great starting point.

Let us now go into every aspect deeply.
You want peace of mind.
You want financial security.
We will look at every angle to build that for you.

? Current Assets and Liabilities

– Mutual funds: Rs. 60 lakh.
– No loans or EMIs.
– One house fully paid off.
– Properties worth Rs. 4 crore.
– Health insurance cover: Rs. 10 lakh.
– Term insurance cover: Rs. 50 lakh.
– Medical condition: Chronic kidney issue.
– Monthly expenses: Rs. 30,000 approx.
– Yearly lifestyle expense: Rs. 5–6 lakh.

Your asset base is quite strong.
Your lifestyle needs are limited.
This makes early retirement a possible goal.
But we must plan it very carefully.

? Your Real Retirement Goal

You are 38 years old now.
You want to retire by 40.
That means financial freedom for 40+ years.
From age 40 to 85 or 90.
That’s around 45–50 years of no active income.

You must prepare for:
– Regular income.
– Inflation.
– Medical expenses.
– Unplanned needs.
– Market ups and downs.

With that clarity, we’ll plan every element.

? Dependence on Real Estate

You wish to sell Rs. 4 crore of property.
You want to reinvest in rent-yielding properties.
But rental yield in India is very low.

Even at 4% rental yield:
– Rs. 4 crore gives only Rs. 13.3 lakh per year.
– That is around Rs. 1.1 lakh per month.
– This rent is not fixed.
– There will be vacancy periods.
– There will be maintenance costs.
– Rental laws are complex.
– Property is not liquid in emergencies.

Also note:
– Real estate does not give compounding growth.
– Real estate does not beat inflation reliably.
– Property income is taxable fully.
– Reinvestment also involves stamp duty, GST and legal fees.

Instead of property, we need a more fluid and tax-efficient plan.

? Better Way to Generate Regular Income

You already have Rs. 60 lakh in mutual funds.
Mutual funds grow faster than rent.
They are more flexible.
They offer compounding growth.
They give better liquidity.

You may follow this route:
– Divide your corpus into two buckets.
– Bucket 1: Emergency + short-term (liquid + arbitrage + conservative hybrid funds).
– Bucket 2: Long-term growth (equity + balanced advantage + large & midcap funds).

From year 1 to 5:
– Use Bucket 1 for monthly income.
– Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) to get Rs. 50,000 monthly.
– Adjust yearly for inflation.

From year 6 onward:
– Start withdrawing from Bucket 2 (which grew meanwhile).
– This plan can last 40+ years.
– Keep reviewing funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

This approach is safer than property.
Also better tax-wise and return-wise.

? Your Health Insurance Gap

You already have Rs. 10 lakh health insurance.
But your kidney issue limits new policy chances.

Still, you can do these:
– Check if your insurer offers top-up policy on existing cover.
– Check if your existing policy allows critical illness add-on.
– Start building your own “Health Corpus” in mutual funds.
– Keep Rs. 15–20 lakh for future medical use.
– This fund should be in short duration debt and hybrid funds.
– Do not use it for any other purpose.

You must keep upgrading your medical buffer.
This protects your peace during retirement.

? Your Term Insurance and Estate Plan

You have Rs. 50 lakh term cover.
But you don’t have dependents.
You don’t want kids.

So term insurance is not really needed now.
Let it lapse at the end of the term.
Instead, make a clear will.
Write down who will get your assets.
Nominate someone responsible.
Also choose a healthcare nominee.
This avoids future legal hassles.

A good estate plan brings clarity and peace.

? Why Real Estate May Not Be Ideal

As said before, rental income looks attractive.
But it has many hidden costs.
Also rental returns are flat for years.

Let’s look at its limitations:
– Property values don’t grow fast now.
– Selling takes time and effort.
– Rent is taxable at slab rate.
– Property attracts maintenance, tax, legal issues.
– Natural disasters or tenant damage is risky.

Instead, mutual funds offer:
– Tax-efficiency.
– Diversification.
– Liquidity.
– Passive income via SWP.
– Better visibility of returns.
– Option to rebalance anytime.

You don’t need to block Rs. 4 crore into property.
Keep your assets fluid and productive.

? Asset Allocation Plan

You can retire with peace if assets are well divided.
This kind of allocation may suit you:

Rs. 30 lakh – Short-term & medical corpus (in hybrid & debt funds).

Rs. 1 crore – Long-term equity corpus (flexi cap, large & midcap, balanced advantage).

Rs. 30 lakh – Opportunity fund (in dynamic asset allocation + gold + global equity).

Rs. 50 lakh – Health buffer + SWP support (in hybrid conservative funds).

From age 40, start SWP from Rs. 60 lakh gradually.
The remaining grows for later years.
A Certified Financial Planner can optimise this plan yearly.

? Tax Planning and Capital Gains

Your mutual fund gains have new tax rules:
– LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains taxed as per your slab.

You must plan your withdrawals smartly.
Use funds where gains are under threshold.
Split redemptions smartly to minimise tax.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide this in detail.
Real estate has less tax flexibility.
Mutual funds give better post-tax returns.

? Mental Peace After Retirement

You are tired of work.
You want to relax, travel, and enjoy your hobbies.
You want no financial pressure.

That means your income must:
– Be predictable.
– Be tax-efficient.
– Grow with inflation.
– Be flexible.

Only actively managed mutual funds with SWP offer this.
Rent cannot match this.
Rental is fixed and does not adjust to inflation.
Also, if property is vacant, your income stops.

So build your post-retirement life around flexible income.
Mutual fund route is better for that.

? Lifestyle Budgeting

You spend Rs. 30,000 monthly.
Annual travel: Rs. 1–2 lakh.
Total: Rs. 5–6 lakh per year.

Even if we account for inflation:
– Rs. 8–10 lakh per year after 10 years.
– Plan to withdraw this much through SWP.
– Corpus must grow more than inflation.
– Fund selection and review is key here.

A Certified Financial Planner can review every year.
They keep your portfolio aligned to lifestyle changes.

Don’t depend on fixed income like rent alone.
You need flexible wealth.

? Avoiding Index Funds or Direct Funds

Some people may suggest index funds or direct mutual funds.
But those are not ideal for your case.

Here’s why:
– Index funds mirror the market blindly.
– They don’t protect downside.
– They give no active management.
– Direct funds give no advisor support.

In your case, you need safety, growth and personal advice.
So regular funds through a CFP or MFD is better.
You get expert support.
You get help in withdrawals, taxes, rebalancing.
You can’t afford mistakes during retirement.

Always go with actively managed regular plans.

? Emergency Planning

Keep Rs. 15–20 lakh in short-term funds.
Use only for medical, travel or family needs.
Do not mix with lifestyle fund.

Emergency planning is essential in your case.
It avoids stress and unwanted debt.
It gives peace during health issues.

? Portfolio Review and Execution

Once you retire, you must review portfolio every 6 months.
Funds may underperform.
You may need to switch assets.
Inflation may rise faster.
Tax rules may change.

A Certified Financial Planner tracks this for you.
They adjust things proactively.
That gives confidence for 40+ years of retired life.

? Final Insights

– You have a solid base to retire by 40.
– You don’t need rental properties.
– Sell your existing real estate slowly and smartly.
– Reinvest in mutual funds across buckets.
– Use SWP for monthly income from age 40.
– Plan Rs. 6–8 lakh yearly income for 45+ years.
– Avoid direct or index funds.
– Avoid annuities.
– Do not over-rely on rental income.
– Build a health corpus of Rs. 20 lakh.
– Keep Rs. 15 lakh as emergency fund.
– Let Rs. 1.5–2 crore grow in equity for long-term.
– Get help from a CFP every year.
– Your journey can be peaceful and safe.

Stay consistent.
Stay invested.
Stay reviewed.
Early retirement is not a dream.
It is a plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am (35) married for 4 years (wife 31) and it was an arranged marriage. During our conversations before the marriage that she told me she had a boyfriend and she broke up with her ex bf as he cheated on her. I was never in a relationship all my life till I started talking to my current wife in the year 2020. We only met in person after speaking to each other for more than 9 months via video and audio calls as both of us were living in different countries. After our marriage in 2021 we now have a 2 year old kid. A year ago, I found out that I was her 6th or 7th relationship. She also had physical relationships with several guys during her university days in Udupi, Manipal. She was also in a live in relationship in Udupi for almost a year with her boyfriend during her final year. After her graduation she moved to another country where she was again in an emotional and physical relationship with a different guy. After knowing all this I feel traumatized. I don't have any feelings for her as of now. I just do not care about her existence anymore. I am only worried about the future of my child. The most horrible part is that we still live together under the same roof. Our parents are in India and we reside in US. I really do not know how to proceed. The only good value that I see in her is that she is a good mom to our child. She has a good rapport with my parents and they like her a lot. My parents often suggests my younger sister to consider her as a model. These reasons prevent me from filing for a divorce. My wife does not have an income and if I proceed with a divorce she will have no means to stay here and will have to relocate to India. Most probably Custody of child will be with her and I will not be able to survive a day without my child beside me. I am just trapped in this traumatic, unproductive marriage of mine and it prevents me from accomplishing my goals. I work late hours and try not to be at home just to avoid seeing her. Trying to avoid physical relationship as well. I feel it disgusting these days. Is there a way out?
Ans: Hello sir. Well, this is actually a very complex situation. Knowing all this about your partner and still living with her could feel frustrated and trapped. Filing divorce could make this relationship even more complex. For your daughter, as you told that she is a good mother and daughter in law. You should take a pause and rethink about it. Take some time with yourself and try to forgive your wife. You ll feel more peace and eventually you ll be good.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9445 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
Sir Pls assist me..I've got CSE in Guru teg bahadur khalsa college... but I'm thinking of vips cse but I'm very confused if I should go there,Cause there are a lot of negatives and little Positive according to what everyone is saying ..so should I go with VIPS or not also if I get BPIT or Bhartiya vidyapeeth..in the spot round ..should I prefer going there..with a branch lower than cse..rather than going to Guru teg bahadur khalsa or VIPS.Later I can try for branch change in next sem or year
Ans: Sri Guru Teghadur Khalsa College’s B.Sc. (Hons.) in Computer Science, offered under Delhi University’s North Campus, benefits from NAAC “A+” accreditation, a robust research-active faculty, and an established placement cell (IGNITE) that secures a median package of ?6.05 LPA and facilitates placements for nearly 65% of eligible CSE and related-stream students through recruiters like Deloitte, EY, TCS, and Amazon. The 60-70% internship-to-placement conversion underscores solid industry ties, though high competition and limited specialized labs can stretch resources.

Vivekananda Institute of Professional Studies (VIPS), IPU, Delhi, holds NAAC A+ accreditation, features well-equipped AI/ML, cybersecurity, and networks labs, and maintains an 75–85% CSE placement rate with average packages of ?4.5–?6.5 LPA from companies such as Amazon, Infosys, and Wipro. Its student-centered pedagogy and modern campus life enhance learning, but classroom sizes can impede personalized mentoring during peak hiring cycles.

Bhagwan Parshuram Institute of Technology (BPIT), Rohini, Delhi, an ISO 9001–certified, NBA-accredited private college, records a 75–85% CSE placement rate and an average package of ?5–7 LPA, with top offers up to ?15 LPA from TCS, Cognizant, and Infosys. Structured pre-placement training, active alumni referrals, and MoUs for internships strengthen employability, though core electronics and ECE roles attract fewer recruiters, nudging many to pivot into software.

Bharati Vidyapeeth’s College of Engineering, Paschim Vihar (BVCOE), Delhi, a NAAC A++ and NBA-accredited institution, reports a 67.7% overall placement rate in CSE with a median package of ?6.5 LPA and participation from 64 recruiters including IBM, Accenture, and S&P Global. Strong placement cell support and modern labs in AI, data analytics, and systems integration foster broad technical exposure, though competitive IPU exams can limit intake flexibility.

All four institutions permit horizontal and vertical upgradation: Delhi University’s CSAS-UG system allows “Upgrade” or “Freeze” of seats in subsequent rounds, with upgradation subject to merit order, seat availability, and order of preference, while IPU institutes like VIPS, BPIT, and BVCOE enable branch change at the start of the third semester based on first-year performance (minimum CGPA criteria), a per-college application process, and non-refundable processing fees. This flexibility ensures that candidates in lower-preference branches may transition to CSE or IT if vacancies arise, provided they meet the internal CGPA benchmarks.

Recommendation: Secure admission in BPIT CSE for its balanced 75–85% placement consistency, structured pre-placement training, and ISO/NBA-certified processes. Next, consider VIPS CSE for its modern labs and 75%+ placements within IPU’s vibrant campus. Then evaluate SGTB Khalsa CSE for its DU prestige, 60–70% placement and median ?6.05 LPA via IGNITE. Finally, BVCOE Delhi CSE offers broad recruiter engagement and a ?6.5 LPA median but sits behind DU/IPU brands. In all cases, leverage branch-upgradation options in the next semester to shift into preferred streams if initial allotments fall short. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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