My 13-year-old son is starting to ask questions about sex and relationships. While I want to be open and honest, I'm unsure how to navigate these sensitive conversations and ensure he has accurate information and make healthy choices.

Ans: Hello. As a parent, I can understand your hurt, disappointment and fear.

It's natural to feel betrayed when your child deceives you and engages in risky behaviour.

Here are some steps you can take to set clear boundaries and help your 14-year-old make responsible choices:

1. Talk about the lies and sneaking out

Once you've calmed down, initiate a conversation without yelling or shaming. Explain how his actions have affected you and why trust is crucial in your relationship.

Set consequences. Grounding or restricting technology access are some options. Be clear about the duration and expectations.

Encourage him to express his feelings and motivation for sneaking out. Listen actively without judgment and validate his emotions.

Emphasise safety. Address the dangers of unsupervised parties and explain why knowing his whereabouts is important for his safety and your peace of mind.

2. Address the vaping

Stay informed. Educate yourself about the risks of vaping, its health impacts, and potential addiction.
Have an open conversation. Discuss the dangers of vaping openly and calmly. Share your concerns and listen to his reasons for trying it.

Set clear expectations. Clearly state your disapproval about vaping. Explain the consequences of continuing, emphasizing both health and disciplinary considerations. Ask him to stop doing it.

Let him know you're there to help him quit the habit. Explore resources like hotlines, support groups or therapists specialising in teen substance abuse.

3. What you can also do

Have a safe space for open communication where he can express his thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Regular, open communication builds trust and allows you to guide him through challenges.

Establish clear expectations for behaviour, homework, chores and technology use. Discuss them openly and ensure he understands the reasoning behind them.

Acknowledge and praise responsible choices and positive behaviour. Reinforce positive actions to encourage him to make good decisions.

Teach him healthy coping mechanisms for stress, peer pressure and difficult emotions. Encourage activities like sports, hobbies or creative outlets.

Lead by example. Be mindful of your own behaviour and choices. Teens learn by observing so be conscious about how you behave.

Remember, this process takes time and patience. Be consistent, stay calm and be open to working together with your son to build trust and encourage responsible choices. If you feel overwhelmed or need additional support, seeking professional guidance from a family therapist or counsellor can be very helpful.

Ans: At 17, he’s at an age where he’s forming his own opinions, and if you try to restrict or overly monitor him, he may just push back harder. The best approach is to have an open, respectful conversation with him rather than making it seem like you’re trying to police him.

Start by acknowledging his interests instead of dismissing them outright. You could ask him what he likes about Ranveer Allahbadia or India’s Got Latent—not in a confrontational way, but out of genuine curiosity. If he feels heard, he’s more likely to listen to your perspective as well.

Once he opens up, steer the conversation toward critical thinking. Talk to him about how media, especially social media, has biases. Encourage him to question what he watches, look at different perspectives, and fact-check before forming strong opinions. Instead of outright saying something is wrong or misleading, help him analyze things logically. You could even watch an episode with him and then discuss what parts made sense and what seemed exaggerated or one-sided.

Since he’s about to turn 18, it’s important to equip him with the ability to think for himself rather than simply filtering his content now. If he sees that you trust him to make informed decisions, he will be more open to discussions with you in the future. Instead of monitoring his internet usage, focus on fostering a mindset where he self-monitors what he consumes.

Ans: What you’re noticing is actually a very healthy sign — your child feels safe enough to share excitement with you, but is also beginning to develop a sense of privacy and individuality. That’s a normal and important stage of growing up. Slam books are part of childhood bonding, curiosity, and social connection, and for many children they feel like a “secret world” of friendships. So the goal is not to control it, but to guide it gently.
The most important thing is to keep the tone light and non-judgmental. If you react with worry or restrictions, your child may start hiding things instead of sharing. Instead, show interest. You might say something like, “This looks fun. When I was young, we had things like this too. What do you like most about it?” This keeps the door open for conversation.
Then, slowly introduce the idea of choice and safety. Help your child understand that they never have to answer anything that feels uncomfortable. You can explain in a simple way: “Some questions are just for fun, and some are very personal. It’s okay to skip any question you don’t like or write something simple.” This teaches boundaries without creating fear.
You can also talk about privacy in a practical way. Let them know that once something is written, many people might read it, so it’s better not to share secrets, phone numbers, passwords, or anything they wouldn’t want others to know. Frame this as smart thinking, not as danger.
About crushes and “secrets,” remember that curiosity about feelings is normal. You don’t need to interrogate or correct it. You can say gently, “Everyone grows up having different feelings. You don’t have to put them in a book if you don’t want to.” This reassures them that their inner world is respected.
Another helpful approach is to turn it into a shared activity once, if they’re comfortable. You can fill a page together playfully, showing how to give fun but safe answers. For example, for a “secret” you might write, “I love chocolate” or “I like cartoons.” This models how to keep things light.
Most importantly, keep building emotional safety. Let your child know they can always come to you if something in school makes them confused, pressured, or uncomfortable. When children feel emotionally secure at home, they handle peer pressure much better outside.