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Rishta

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Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 21, 2024

Rishta Guru is a relationship expert whose advice goes beyond romance. Rishta Guru can also guide you about the problems you face at home, with your friends, in your building, at your educational institution or at your workplace.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2024Hindi
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My 13-year-old son is starting to ask questions about sex and relationships. While I want to be open and honest, I'm unsure how to navigate these sensitive conversations and ensure he has accurate information and make healthy choices.

Ans: Hi. Thank you for asking this important question.

While navigating conversations about sex and relationships with your 13-year-old son can be challenging, these kinds of conversations are crucial.

Here are some tips that might help:

Create an open environment: Let your son know that he can come to you with any questions or concerns about sex and relationships without fear of judgment or punishment. Ensure that he feels comfortable discussing these topics with you.

Be honest and age-appropriate: Provide accurate information in a way that is appropriate for his age and level of understanding. Start with the basics and gradually introduce more complex topics as he grows older.

Use proper terminology: Use correct anatomical terms when discussing body parts and functions. This helps to reduce the stigma and confusion around these topics.

Listen actively: Pay attention to your son's questions and concerns. Let him know that his thoughts and emotions are important and normal.

Encourage critical thinking: Help your son think critically about media portrayals of sex and relationships and how they may differ from reality. Discuss issues like consent, respect for the opposite sex and healthy boundaries.

Inculcate values and beliefs: Talk about your family's values regarding sex, relationships and intimacy. Discuss topics such as mutual respect, consent and the emotional aspects of relationships.

Provide resources: Offer books and other resources that provide reliable information about puberty, sex and relationships. This can supplement your conversations and give your son additional information to explore on his own.

Set clear boundaries: Discuss the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and respecting the boundaries of others. Teach him to recognise and assert his own boundaries in various situations.

Educate him about peer pressure and risky behaviour: Talk to your son about peer pressure and how to make informed decisions, especially when it comes to risky behaviour like unprotected sex.

Remember, these conversations are part of a larger ongoing dialogue about sex, relationships and personal development. By being open, honest and supportive, you can help your son navigate these topics in a healthy and informed manner.

All the best.

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Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2024Hindi
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My 14-year-old lied about going to a friend's house and snuck out to attend a party without permission. He also recently admitted to experimenting with vaping. I'm feeling hurt, disappointed and scared. How can I set clear boundaries and help him make responsible choices?
Ans: Hello. As a parent, I can understand your hurt, disappointment and fear.

It's natural to feel betrayed when your child deceives you and engages in risky behaviour.

Here are some steps you can take to set clear boundaries and help your 14-year-old make responsible choices:

1. Talk about the lies and sneaking out

Once you've calmed down, initiate a conversation without yelling or shaming. Explain how his actions have affected you and why trust is crucial in your relationship.

Set consequences. Grounding or restricting technology access are some options. Be clear about the duration and expectations.

Encourage him to express his feelings and motivation for sneaking out. Listen actively without judgment and validate his emotions.

Emphasise safety. Address the dangers of unsupervised parties and explain why knowing his whereabouts is important for his safety and your peace of mind.

2. Address the vaping

Stay informed. Educate yourself about the risks of vaping, its health impacts, and potential addiction.
Have an open conversation. Discuss the dangers of vaping openly and calmly. Share your concerns and listen to his reasons for trying it.

Set clear expectations. Clearly state your disapproval about vaping. Explain the consequences of continuing, emphasizing both health and disciplinary considerations. Ask him to stop doing it.

Let him know you're there to help him quit the habit. Explore resources like hotlines, support groups or therapists specialising in teen substance abuse.

3. What you can also do

Have a safe space for open communication where he can express his thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Regular, open communication builds trust and allows you to guide him through challenges.

Establish clear expectations for behaviour, homework, chores and technology use. Discuss them openly and ensure he understands the reasoning behind them.

Acknowledge and praise responsible choices and positive behaviour. Reinforce positive actions to encourage him to make good decisions.

Teach him healthy coping mechanisms for stress, peer pressure and difficult emotions. Encourage activities like sports, hobbies or creative outlets.

Lead by example. Be mindful of your own behaviour and choices. Teens learn by observing so be conscious about how you behave.

Remember, this process takes time and patience. Be consistent, stay calm and be open to working together with your son to build trust and encourage responsible choices. If you feel overwhelmed or need additional support, seeking professional guidance from a family therapist or counsellor can be very helpful.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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My son is a huge fan of podcaster Ranveer Allahbadia. Initially, he came across as one of those dumb so called influencers, but some of his content on religion and politics have also been interesting. I recently came to know that my son has watched this controversial show called India's got Latent and now he is clearly defending the guy and the entire team. My son is 17, uses a shared smartphone and accesses internet on WiFi. I don't know if he even understands what he is watching and how it can shape opinions. His father wants me to keep a watch on his internet usage, which I am not too sure of. In a few months, he will be 18. How do you think I can talk to him and help him understand that social media to be taken with a pinch of salt?
Ans: At 17, he’s at an age where he’s forming his own opinions, and if you try to restrict or overly monitor him, he may just push back harder. The best approach is to have an open, respectful conversation with him rather than making it seem like you’re trying to police him.

Start by acknowledging his interests instead of dismissing them outright. You could ask him what he likes about Ranveer Allahbadia or India’s Got Latent—not in a confrontational way, but out of genuine curiosity. If he feels heard, he’s more likely to listen to your perspective as well.

Once he opens up, steer the conversation toward critical thinking. Talk to him about how media, especially social media, has biases. Encourage him to question what he watches, look at different perspectives, and fact-check before forming strong opinions. Instead of outright saying something is wrong or misleading, help him analyze things logically. You could even watch an episode with him and then discuss what parts made sense and what seemed exaggerated or one-sided.

Since he’s about to turn 18, it’s important to equip him with the ability to think for himself rather than simply filtering his content now. If he sees that you trust him to make informed decisions, he will be more open to discussions with you in the future. Instead of monitoring his internet usage, focus on fostering a mindset where he self-monitors what he consumes.

..Read more

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