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Girl I Love Keeps Leaving, Should I Wait or Give Up?

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Question by Ojo on Aug 06, 2024Hindi

I've been on and off with this girl i really love , she never committed fully but has always been exclusive.. she broke off in may but due to some problems with her family, I helped her which made us very close .. I asked her if this will happen again she said it won't .. 2 months passed and now she has broken up again saying she wants to focus on CAT exam which she has taken drop year for .. I helped her family, her in everything financially and emotionally but she left again even after seeing I am in love with her .. after all I've done she keeps leaving, saying she needs to focus on exam and isn't sure about me even now or in future ... Should I wait or just give up on her totally

Ans: Dear Ojo,

You sound like an amazing person. You loved, you supported and you have been as giving as anyone should be. But now, it is time to focus on yourself. You deserve someone who loves you exactly as much as you do. You deserve to be chosen over everything else every once in a while. I cannot ask you to move on; that's up to you. But, I can tell you that understand your worth. Is this all you want from life? Is this all you deserve? If you answer honestly, I think you would know what's the right thing to do here.

Best Wishes.

Asked on - Aug 07, 2024 | Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Thank you so much , i understand ..after all I did .. wait for her at hospital, pick her up from the hospital at 6 am or wait 2 hours outside hospital... I always felt i deserved more from her side I am not able to move on because I feel very unfinished..feels like she owns me peace and affection for all I did atleast once by being properly in a relationship with me ,that's what makes it hard to move on

Ans: Dear Ojo,

I understand it is hard to move on, especially without proper closure. But life is unfair at times. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. It's time you give the same love and care to yourself. Spend time with your close friends and family, who love you and prioritize you. Find new hobbies, follow your passion, and generally do things that make you happy. Right now, you might think that she is the only thing that can make you happy. But, that will pass. She chose herself, which is fine. Now, you should too. I am sure you will come out of this soon.

Best wishes.

RelationshipReply

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Question by Manvander - Aug 11, 2022Hindi

Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good. We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her. She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on. But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time. And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me. I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate. Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate. So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better. I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her. All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else. I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'amThanks

Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

Relationship

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

Question by Manvander - Aug 11, 2022Hindi

Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

Relationship

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

Question by AK - Feb 23, 2022Hindi

Hello Mam, I have been relationship in past 2 1/2 years. I saw her in my first matches and she didn’t show interest in me. Later she got in touch with me and we got into a relationship. Due to lockdown we couldn’t meet. Whenever I ask her to meet up she used to tell me NO.We met only 4 times in 2 years.And I’m only looking her all daily needs and expenses.She is ready to meet her friends but for me she will tell it’s not possible because of parents and other circumstances.Sometimes I feel she is using me. I’m confused. What decision should I make? I told her many times 'let’s move on.' After a couple of days I will only call her to talk but she never says let’s move on.Please suggest what I should do.

Ans:

Dear AK, maybe she has moved on and at the time when she liked you, you happened to be a mere distraction.

How do you know that you are in a relationship with her? Have the two of you talked about it?

If not, please request for a meeting and simply and kindly ask her where does she see this relationship going in the next 2 years?

That will give you an idea as to why she is avoiding meeting you and seems to find time to meet other people.

If she refuses this meeting as well which is important for both your futures, I think you have your answer and there is nothing more to clarify. Time for you to move on…

All the best!

Relationship

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi

Hi, I am 26 years old. Doing job in an Mnc, earning decent enough for me and my family. I had a breakup in my early 20s with my long term girlfriend from my school days, since then I am single. Last year I met a girl at the office gym, she works in a different department. We both speak the same language so she approached me and my friend and gave her number. Then we became good friends, used to hangout everything. Even though she had a boyfriend she used to get jealous seeing me with other female friends. 3 months back, her bf married to some other girl of his cast and dumped her. She had physical relationship with her bf as she told but i never had physical with anyone. She used to come and cry in front of me and asked me once as well whether i loved her or not. I ignored as i knew she is just seeing me as an option. Nowadays she is avoiding me a lot giving excuses like she is busy and all and I feel she went into a relationship and just breadcrumbing me because of attention. I also stopped giving her free attention and barely call. But my heart still miss her. I know I don't love her and don't wanna be with her in future as she is very manipulative but being very lonely myself with no friends she used to fill a void in my life. I want her presence, attention, and maybe want to do physical with her casually as she is that type of girl who can get laid easily with someone she likes. What shall I do? I am unable to move on from this and it is affecting my career. Also I want a stable relationship with whom I can have a good future.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

The answer to your question is right there in the question. You do not want her; you want her attention which will feed your ego. It's not love and you know it. If you pursue a casual or serious relationship, chances are one or both of you will get hurt. Now, you mentioned that you want a stable relationship. You should start by focusing on that.

One more thing- it is not up to us to judge someone and call them names like "that type of girl." Wanting to hook up with her casually because you think she'll let you should then make you "that type of boy." These are baseless labels and it's best not to hurl these insults at people. Focus on yourself. Find a date- you can ask your friends to set you up, or family, or you can try out a dating app. Mention that you want a serious relationship; it can increase your chances of finding the right match.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024