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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Manvander Question by Manvander on Aug 11, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good.
We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her.
She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on.
But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.
She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time.
And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me.
I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate.
Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate.
So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better.
I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her.
All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else.
I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.
To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'am
Thanks

Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Relationship
Hi Love Guru. Please keep my identity as anonymous as possible.  I have few issues going on in my mind and want your suggestions. First, to get out of block and unblock chain. I met a girl who is my brother’s friend in 2017. We started chatting on FB, then exchanged numbers. We had a rapport till six months. There was a unique attachment between us during that period. Not chatting with her for even one day would make me uneasy. In October 2017, her engagement was fixed. I was normal, knowing that there cannot be much between us except being in contact. One day, at the end of our talk, she said, Love you. I laughed, saying “What nonsense that you always call me with different weird names. Now, after your engagement is fixed, you are telling me this.” Then, she blocked me on WhatsApp and I really felt like I was in a cage. Then, after a few days, she unblocked me. She got engaged but, after a few months, her engagement broke. We then again got in good contact. After few months her marriage got fixed. Now she is married. After her marriage, our contact was very, very less as priorities changed. I proceeded with my studies and job and she carried on with her personal and professional life. Two months back, she called me and said I am bored and feeling irritated with life so I called you to freshen my mind. I was also happy talking to her. I am that kind of introvert person who opens up with few and she was among them. For one or two weeks, we used to talk 30 to 45 minutes daily. Suddenly, she blocked me on WhatsApp. I called her and she behaved like a stranger to me -- like who’s this, I don’t know you, who you are and she ended the call and blocked me. Till date, she has blocked me. I think there are many things she is hiding from me -- from why her first engagement broke to marring another guy who is not of her caste when she is from a conservative family  Post her engagement, there were many times she blocked and unblocked me. She is running in my mind. I want to get rid of her. Please suggest how and what shall I talk to her so I get an end to this. Thank you for bearing to read all this. My second issue is I think I am addicted to pornography. Two to three years back, I used to watch a lot of porn and would prefer MILF porn, ie senior pornstars videos. I think, due to this, I don’t get much attracted to girls of my age. I respect them but I think, because of my addiction, I see females elder to me attractive rather than females of my age. Please help. Suggest how I shall get out of this as this also affects me academically, personally and professionally. Thank you, Anon
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t think you really have any serious problems in your life at all; it’s your perceptions that are all wrong.

Let me straighten this out for you, one issue at a time.

First off, you have one weird, unpredictable friend who once told you she loved you and then went and married someone else.

Not once have you stated that you are in love with her or have feelings for her. In fact, when she said she loved you, you brushed it off.

She contacts you when she’s bored and cuts you off when she’s not.

And now, it’s come to the point where you really need to be the one blocking her and not the other way around...

You want to get rid of her? Block her once and for all. And if she still manages to get in touch, tell her politely that you have had enough of this one-sided friendship and not to contact you again.

Second, about what you think is a porn ‘addiction’... An addiction is something that interferes with your normal life, career and relationships. It’s an obsession that consumes you every waking hour.

And, from what you’ve said, I don’t think you’re watching such volumes of pornography every day, are you?

Furthermore, unless you’re into grannies, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being attracted to women older than you... everyone has a type!

If after everything I’ve said you still fancy you have problems, I’d suggest visiting a therapist. But before spending that kind of money, think long and hard about what I’ve said and decide for yourself whether you think you need it.

 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

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Relationship
I started a relationship with a girl. First we thought it just a relationship no marriage. But as days going we fell deep into each other that we cant live without each other. I found one thing that she loving more than needed. Im so scared of her, what will she do if i run out of her life for my marriage. This thought killed me. So I decided to leave her without telling a reason. I left her with a small issue. I really dont want to loose but i had to. I just said good bye, she also said good bye. Later i never texted her. She too never texted me. But after 2 months i felt guilty of leaving so i came back to her. Previously her parents decided to marry her to their son in law. I know this when were in relationship. So after our breakup i came back to her. But she said no to me because she is committed with her brother in law. I cant take this. Its killing me. After i said good bye she never tried to contact me for patch-up. Even no texts. Her brother in law told her that im ready to marry you. So she too said i too like you and im also ready to marry you. But their marriage will happen in 2026. I told her that untill marriage please be with me and this is our deal when we started our relationship. But she said no. I begged her many times but she always said no to me. And still now i cant believe that she said no to me. All this happened 3 months ago but still i cant forget her. Recently she deleted my number also. Everything making me feel low. What should i do now?
Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, myself is 31 years old guy and I was in relationship with the women (collegue of mine in previous company) who is married and had 1 son and she is 9 years elder then me. Basically I was going through a tough time as I had breakup in 2017 and started drinking and smoking which usually everybody does after a heartbreak. In year 2019 she got to know about my drinking habits and she starting giving her time to me so that I stop all this things. She used to behind me to stop all these things but gradually after a year or so we started developing feelings for each other. We used to talk to a lot like almost we used to share everything and in year 2020 we got into relation and we proposed each other. Everything was fine till 2021. In year 2021 I went for a group picnic where my Ex was also present and my biggest mistake was that I didn't shared this thing with her but she got to know this from one of our common collegue who was also part of the picnic & after that disaster started in our life. She started doubting me that I am still in relation with my Ex but I was not there & continuously I have to prove myself that I don't have any feelings for my ex & I love you only. I was ready to do anything for her even just to surprise her I travel to her city where she went on vacation to her parents house. But unfortunately that was the last time we were together the moment I came to my hometown things started getting worse as she again started doubting me and in anger I just burst on her and after that she stopped talking and bcz of which I went into a depression and due to which I was completely mess was not able to do anything in my life except drinking. Now it has been 2 years that we don't talk except only on some occasion she calls or msg. Still I am having the same feeling for her which I had 3 years back & I need her back in my life. Please suggest me what should I do in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear you are facing such challenges in your life. Doubt and jealousy can ruin a relationship and your relationship is proof of that. While you might not have had bad intentions when you did not reveal your ex being present in the gathering with you, it is also understandable that your partner's trust suffered a crack which finally gave away completely. The thing to learn here is that open communication could have saved you all these sufferings. But that's all in the past. Right now you are separated from your partner and I assume she is not interested in getting back together. Your question should not be how to get her back, but rather how can I move on. Your job is not to convince her but to convince yourself that this is for the best. And it truly is; no relationship can survive in the shadows of doubt.

Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Understand that you made a tiny mistake but you tried your best to convince your partner of your loyalty to her; it did not work out but you are not to blame. Some things just don't, and your relationship was one of those things. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty for not disclosing the situation to your partner. You know you were not a cheater and it's no longer your job to convince her of that. Give yourself ample time to grieve the loss and accept that it's lost. Don't keep looking for ways to get back together or you will never move on. It will hurt in the beginning but it will get better soon. Once you feel better, go out and meet people. I am not saying your ex-partner wasn't great but trust me, there are more people out there, who are amazing; they will help you not just heal but also grow.

It's time to let go.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1839 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear Madam, I was a bright student during my school days and my plan was to become a civil servant but that did not succeed even after several attempts. With the advise of my brother i went ahead and pursued Masters at a normal university in Sydney. I did internship and continued staying with my job though it wasn't my field of study. After that what came as a shock was my brother's divorce. We don't know what is the actual issue till date but I tried a lot to fix the gap by talking to his ex-wife but they were very orthodox. I couldn't see my brother suffer because he had planned and arranged so much for her. I had no choice then so i try to harm his ex-wife by spoiling her reputation thinking she will come back for him. In the mean time i got married to a girl who was her relative too thinking my wife can help us in some case but she turned out to be completely in the opposite direction. She was probably convinced by my brother's ex-wife or their relatives that she is not coming back. Even then my brother tried to go meet his ex-wife through many channels. My wife did not help him at all in any aspect. Finally the divorced happened and everything ended. Now we have sought several proposals but nothing seem to be a good fit for him. Most of the girls whom we met on matrimonial sites are fake profiles with something hidden or falsely represented. I would say my brother escaped all this. But we are worried about his life now as he is already in his 40's and he seem to be struggling for a good job and finance. He is very picky probably but doesn't talk much to all of us. Sometimes he even says the game is over so no point looking at a second marriage. My wife and he fought once when he visited us because she didn't want him in our house and she created a fight putting me in the front. After that he stopped coming to our house or see us or talk to us. Things even gets worse sometimes when her brother comes and visits us and stays at our house which my parents don't like. My parents argue that your brother was not allowed to stay for few months then how come her brother is allowed for several months. What kind of partiality is that? I feel i could not do anything for him despite the fact that he is my only brother. He is good at heart and looked after me when i went abroad financially and even came to meet me few times. I tried to send him money, gifts but he is still the same. He communicates with our parents but not with me nor my wife anymore. Kindly give us a good advise.
Ans: Your brother’s distance is not a rejection of you. It is his way of protecting himself. He went through a difficult marriage, an emotional collapse, and then watched people around him — including you — react out of desperation to fix things for him. Even though your intentions came from love, he may have associated those actions with more pain and pressure. When a person has been wounded, silence feels safer than conversation. His withdrawal simply means he is tired, not that he dislikes you.
You also need to understand that the guilt you are carrying is heavier than it needs to be. You tried to intervene in his marriage because you wanted to protect him, not because you wanted to cause harm. Looking back now, with more maturity and clarity, you see the mistakes, but at that time, you were acting out of fear and love. This is why it’s important to forgive yourself instead of punishing yourself over and over.
The conflict between your wife and your brother only added another layer of stress, because it forced you into choosing sides. Your wife reacted emotionally, your brother pulled away, your parents questioned the imbalance — and in the middle of all this, you lost your sense of peace. But their disagreements are not failures on your part. They are the natural result of people operating from insecurity, fear, and past hurt.
What needs to happen now is a shift in your role. You cannot continue trying to solve everything for everyone. You cannot carry your brother’s marriage, your wife’s fears, and your parents’ judgments all at once. It’s time to step out of the role of rescuer and step into the role of a grounded, calm brother who offers presence, not solutions.
Rebuilding your bond with your brother will not come from pushing proposals, sending gifts, or trying to fix his life. It will come from offering him emotional safety. A simple message, expressing that you are sorry for any hurt, that you care for him, and that you are available whenever he feels ready, will speak louder than any effort to arrange his future. Once you send such a message, the healthiest thing you can do is give him space. Sometimes relationships repair themselves in silence, when pressure is removed.
And for yourself, healing begins when you stop believing that every problem in the family rests on your shoulders. You have given more than enough over the years. Now you deserve emotional rest. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel like a brother, not a crisis manager.
Your brother may take time, but distance does not erase love. When he feels safe, he will come closer again. Your responsibility is not to force that moment, but to make sure you are emotionally steady and ready when it happens.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear sir This is regarding my mother's financials. She is 71 years old and she earns a pension of 31k p.m. She has FD's worth 60 lacs and earns interest income of Rs.25k. I wish to know if we can buy mutual funds worth 10 lacs by diverting funds from FD for better returns. She owns a house and does not have house rent commitment . She is currently investing 10k p.m in SIP . Now the lump sum investment of 5 lacs each is intended to be done in HDFC balanced advantage fund Direct Growth and ICICI Prudential balanced advantage fund . Please advise
Ans: You are caring about your mother’s future.
This shows deep responsibility.
Her financial base also looks strong today.
Her pension gives steady cash.
Her FD interest gives extra safety.
Her home is secure.
Her SIP shows healthy discipline.

» Her Present Financial Position
Your mother is 71.
Her age makes safety a key priority.
But some growth is also needed.

She gets Rs 31000 pension each month.
This covers most basic needs.
Her FD interest adds Rs 25000 per month.
So her total monthly inflow is near Rs 56000.
This is healthy at her age.

She owns her house.
She has no rent stress.
This gives great relief.

She has FD worth Rs 60 lakh.
This gives safe income.
She also runs a SIP of Rs 10000 per month.
This is a good step.
It keeps her connected to long-term growth.

Her total structure looks balanced.
She has safety.
She has income.
She has some growth exposure.
She has low liabilities.

This is a very stable base for her age.

» Understanding Her Risk Level
At age 71, risk must be low.
But risk cannot be zero.
Zero risk pushes money into FD only.
FD return stays low.
FD return sometimes falls after tax.
FD return often stays below inflation.

This reduces future buying power.
Inflation in India stays high.
Medical costs rise fast.
Home repair costs rise.
Daily needs rise.
So some growth is needed.

Balanced exposure gives stability.
Balanced allocation protects both sides.
She should not go too high on equity.
She should not avoid equity fully.
A middle path works best at this age.

Your idea of shifting Rs 10 lakh for growth is fine.
But the type of fund must be chosen well.
The plan must also follow her age.
Her risk must be respected.

» Impact of Growth Options at Her Age
Growth funds move with markets.
Markets move up and down.
These swings can disturb seniors.
But some controlled equity helps fight inflation.

Funds with mix of equity and debt help.
They adjust risk.
They protect capital better.
They manage volatility better.
They offer smoother experience.
They suit senior citizens more.

So a mild growth approach is healthy.
This gives better long-term value.
This gives inflation protection.
This reduces long-term stress.

Still, the fund choice must be careful.
And the plan style must be guided.

» Concerns With Direct Plans
You mentioned direct funds.
Direct funds seem cheap.
But cheap is not always better.

Direct funds give no guidance.
Direct funds give no review support.
Direct funds give no risk matching.
Direct funds need constant study.
Direct funds need skill.
Direct funds need time.

Many investors think direct plans save money.
But small savings can cause big losses.
Wrong choices reduce returns.
Wrong timing reduces gains.
Wrong exit increases tax.

Regular plans bring professional support through MFDs with CFP credentials.
They offer yearly reviews.
They track risk closely.
They guide corrections.
They support crisis moments.
They help in asset mix.
They help keep emotions stable.

This support is very helpful for seniors.
Your mother will not need to study markets.
She will not need to track cycles.
She will not need to worry about volatility.
She can stay calm.

So regular plans may suit her better.
The small extra fee is actually buying professional hand-holding.
This hand-holding protects wealth.
This reduces mistakes.
This brings long-term peace.

» Her Liquidity Need
At age 71, liquidity matters.
She must access money fast during emergencies.
Medical needs can arise.
Health cost can be sudden.
She must be ready.

FD gives quick access.
This is useful.
So FD should not be reduced too much.

Shifting Rs 10 lakh is acceptable.
But shifting more may reduce comfort.
She must always feel safe.
Her emotional comfort is important.

So Rs 10 lakh is the right level.
It keeps major FD corpus safe.
It keeps growth exposure controlled.

This balance supports her peace.

» Her Current SIP
She puts Rs 10000 per month in SIP.
This is positive.
This brings slow steady growth.
This builds long-term value.

She should continue this SIP.
She may reduce it later based on comfort.
But she should not stop it now.
This SIP adds inflation protection.
This SIP builds a small buffer.

A continuous SIP helps smooth markets.
It builds confidence.

» Income Stability for Her
Her pension covers needs.
Her FD interest adds comfort.
Her SIP invests for future needs.
Her home saves rent.

So she has stable income.
Her life standard is maintained.
Her risk level can stay low.

Her monthly cash flow is positive.
Her needs are covered.
So she need not worry about returns too much.
But a little growth is still healthy.

» Should She Shift Rs 10 Lakh From FD?
Yes, she can shift Rs 10 lakh.
This does not hurt her safety.
This does not shake her cash flow.
This supports inflation protection.

But the fund must be right.
The plan must match her age.
The risk must stay low.
The allocation must stay controlled.

A balanced strategy is better.
Smooth returns suit seniors.
Moderate risk suits her age.

Still, the fund must be in regular plan.
Direct plan may cause long-term risk.
Direct plans place the heavy load on the investor.
At her age, this stress is avoidable.
Regular plans give smoother support.

» Why Not Use the Specific Schemes Mentioned
The schemes you named are direct plans.
Direct plans give no support.
Direct plans leave all decisions to you.
Direct plans leave all risk checks on you.

Also, each fund has its own style.
Each adjusts differently.
You must check suitability.
You must review them yearly.
This needs time and skill.

For her age, this is not ideal.
A simple, guided, regular plan works better.

Also, some funds change risk levels fast.
Some increase equity without warning.
Some change style in market shifts.
This can disturb seniors.
She must stay with stable funds.
She must stay with guided models.

This protects her long-term peace.

» The Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds suit Indian markets.
India grows fast.
Sectors rise and fall fast.
Many companies grow fast.
Many also fall fast.

Active managers study these shifts.
They adjust quicker.
They avoid weak sectors.
They add strong businesses.
They protect downside.
They enhance upside.

Index funds cannot do this.
Index funds copy indices.
Indices carry weak companies also.
Indices carry overpriced stocks.
Indices do not avoid bad phases.
Indices cannot change weight fast.
So index funds give no defensive shield.

Actively managed funds work harder.
They try to reduce shocks.
They try to smooth volatility.
This suits seniors more.

So an active regular plan through an MFD with CFP credentials is better for her.

» Tax Angle on Mutual Fund Redemption
Capital gain rules matter.
For equity funds, long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh have 12.5% tax.
Short-term gains have 20% tax.
Debt fund gains follow your tax slab.

Senior investors must plan exits well.
They must avoid excess tax shock.
They must stagger withdrawals.
They must redeem only when needed.

A guided regular plan helps avoid tax mistakes.
Direct funds offer no such guidance.

» Her Emergency Preparedness
At her age, emergency readiness is key.
She must have quick cash.
She must have easy access.
Her FD base helps this.

She has Rs 60 lakh in FD.
This is strong.
She should keep most of this.
Maybe an emergency bucket of Rs 5 to 10 lakh must stay fully liquid.

This brings peace.
This prevents panic.
This avoids forced redemption.

» Family Support System
You are involved.
This protects her retirement.
You can offer emotional help.
You can offer decision help.
This support makes her financial life safe.

Family support keeps stress low for seniors.
She will feel secure.
She will stay calm during market changes.

» How Her Future Years Can Stay Stable
She needs comfort.
She needs safety.
She needs liquidity.
She needs some growth.
She needs health cover.
She needs emotional peace.

A control-based plan helps:
– Keep most money in FD
– Keep some in balanced mutual funds
– Keep SIP running
– Keep money easily accessible
– Keep risk low
– Keep asset mix simple
– Keep tax impact low
– Keep reviews yearly

This keeps her retirement smooth.

» Built-In Protection for Senior Life
Her plan must also protect future risk.
Medical cost may rise.
Home repairs may occur.
Occasional family support may be needed.

So she must:
– Keep cash bucket
– Keep healthy insurance
– Keep documents updated
– Keep financial papers organised
– Keep digital and physical files safe

This brings long-term safety.

» Withdrawal Strategy
She may not need withdrawals now.
Her income covers expenses.
But she may need money in later years.

She should follow a layered method:

Short-term needs from FD

Medium needs from balanced funds

Long-term needs from SIP corpus

Emergency money from liquid FD

This spreads risk.
This avoids sudden losses.
This protects her capital.

» Assessing the Rs 10 Lakh Transfer
This transfer is fine.
But it must not go to direct plans.
It must go to regular plans.
Guided plans reduce mistakes.
Guided plans suit seniors.

Split into two funds is fine.
But avoid too much complexity.
Simple structure reduces stress.
Easy structure improves clarity.

So two regular plans through an MFD with CFP credentials is ideal.

» Final Insights
Your mother has a strong base.
Her pension is stable.
Her FD pool is healthy.
Her home reduces cost.
Her SIP adds growth.

Adding Rs 10 lakh into balanced mutual funds is a good idea.
But shift to regular plans with expert guidance.
Direct plans are not suitable for seniors.
They bring more risk.
They bring more complexity.
They bring more stress.

Regular plans bring reviews.
Regular plans match risk.
Regular plans reduce mistakes.
Regular plans suit her age.

Her future looks stable with this mix.
Her life can stay comfortable.
She can enjoy her senior years with peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 53 years with a wife and two children. My total savings comprising of MF, Shares, PDF,EPF, NPS & FD are approx. 3Cr. Our current monthly outgoing including SIPs is approximately 100000. Will the above savings amount be sufficient to sustain for the next 20 years?
Ans: You have managed to build Rs 3 Cr by age 53.
This shows steady discipline.
Your savings mix also looks balanced.
Your family seems stable.
Your cost control also looks fair.
This gives a good base for the next stage of life.

» Your Current Position
Your savings stand near Rs 3 Cr.
Your monthly outflow is near Rs 100000.
This includes your SIP amount also.
Your family has four members.
You have two children.
Your wife is with you.
You have a mixed pool across MF, shares, PF, EPF, NPS, and FD.
This mix brings both growth and stability.
This gives you a good base.

Your age is 53.
You have around 7 to 12 working years left.
This period is crucial.
Your decisions now shape the next 20 years.
Your savings rate also matters.
Your cost control also shapes the future.

Today’s numbers show you have a good foundation.
But sustainability depends on many factors.
We must study inflation, spending pattern, growth pattern, tax, risk level, health cost, and cash flow flexibility.

» Understanding the Cash Flow Stress
Your family spends around Rs 100000 today.
This includes SIP.
After retirement, SIP will stop.
But living costs will continue.
Costs increase each year.
Inflation can eat cash fast.
So we must ensure growth in wealth.
Slow growth can stress the corpus.
Fast growth brings more shocks.
So balance is key.

Rs 3 Cr looks large today.
But 20 years is long.
Inflation reduces buying power.
Medical costs also rise.
Family needs also shift.

Your money can last 20 years.
But it needs correct planning.
Blind use of the corpus will not help.
Proper flow matters.
Proper asset selection also matters.
You need steady growth.
You need low shocks.
You need stable income.

» Role of Growth Assets
Many families fear growth assets.
But growth assets are needed today.
Inflation is strong in India.
If money stays in FD only, it suffers.
FD return stays low.
Post-tax return stays even lower.
FD return does not beat inflation.
FD cannot support long-term plans.

Mutual funds bring better growth.
Actively managed funds bring better research.
They allow expert judgement.
They can handle market swings better.
They study sectors and businesses.
They adjust the portfolio.
They aim for more consistent returns.
This helps protect wealth.

Some people choose direct plans.
But direct plans need full time study.
They need skill.
They need discipline.
Most investors do not have the time.
Wrong choices can reduce returns.
Direct plans give no guidance.
Direct plans can reduce long-term peace.

Regular plans through an MFD with CFP credential give better support.
They help with reviews.
They help with corrections.
They help with rebalancing.
They help manage behaviour.
They save time and stress.

You already have MF exposure.
This is good.
You should keep this path.
Active fund management will help long-term stability.

» Role of Safety Assets
You have EPF, PPF, NPS, FD.
These give safety.
They give peace.
But they give lower return.
Too much safety reduces future income.
A mix of both is needed.

Safety assets give steady income.
But they do not grow fast.
They cannot support 20 years alone.
So balance must be kept.

» Assessing the Sustainability for 20 Years
Rs 3 Cr can support 20 years.
But it depends on:

Your retirement age

Your spending pattern

Your ability to reduce costs

Your asset mix

Your growth rate

Your inflation level

Your health cost

Your emergency needs

If your core expenses stay in control, your corpus can last.
If you invest well, your corpus can support you.
If you avoid panic, your wealth will grow.
Your children may also get settled.
Your own needs may reduce.

The key is proper planning.
Without planning, the corpus can shrink fast.
With planning, it will last long.

» Inflation Impact
Inflation is silent.
It eats buying power.
Costs double every few years.
Food rises.
Health rises.
Daily life rises.
School fees rise.
Lifestyle rises.

If your money grows slower than inflation, you lose power.
So growth assets must be part of the plan.
They help beat inflation.
They help protect lifestyle.
They help support long-term needs.

This is why active mutual funds stay useful.
They bring research-driven decisions.
They help fight inflation better.
They stay flexible.
They move with the economy.

» Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
You stand near retirement zone.
You still have some working life.
You still earn.
You still save.
Your income supports your SIP.
This is good.
This is the right stage to improve planning.

Your SIP amount builds future cash.
Your insurance must be proper.
Your emergency fund must be strong.
Your health cover must be strong.

You have PF and NPS.
These give safety.
They bring stability.
They give steady return.
But they do not give high return.
Growth will come from MF and equity.

Your retirement readiness depends on:

Cash flow plan

Growth plan

Insurance plan

Medical cover plan

Long-term income plan

Withdrawal plan

When all parts align, you will stay secure.

» Withdrawal Strategy for the Future
When you retire, cash flow must stay smooth.
You cannot depend on FD alone.
You cannot depend only on EPF.
You cannot depend on one asset class.
You need a mix.

Your withdrawal should come from:

Some from safety assets

Some from growth assets

Some from periodic rebalancing

This helps you avoid panic selling.
This helps you maintain stability.
This protects your lifestyle.

Tax must also be managed.
Tax on equity MF has new rules.
Long-term gain above Rs 1.25 lakh has 12.5% tax.
Short-term gain has 20% tax.
Debt MF gain follows your tax slab.
These rules shape your withdrawal plan.
You must plan redemptions wisely.

» Health and Family Factors
Health cost is rising in India.
Hospital bills rise fast.
Health shocks drain savings.
So good health cover is needed.
Family needs must be studied.

Your children may still need some support.
Their education or marriage may need funds.
These costs must be planned early.
You should not dip into retirement money.
Clear planning avoids stress.

Your wife also needs future support.
Joint planning is better.
Shared decisions help discipline.

» Need for a Structured Review
A structured review every year is needed.
Your income may change.
Your savings may rise.
Your spending may shift.
Your goals may change.
Your risk level may shift.
Your family needs may change.

Review helps you stay on track.
Review helps catch issues early.
Review helps you correct mistakes.
Review brings peace.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide reviews.
This support builds confidence.
This reduces stress.
This brings clarity.

» How to Strengthen Your Position
You already stand strong.
But you can still improve.
Here are some steps to make your 20 years safer.

Keep your growth-safety mix balanced

Increase your SIP when income allows

Avoid direct plans if guidance needed

Use regular plans for proper support

Avoid real estate due to low returns

Increase your emergency fund

Improve your health cover

Avoid ULIP and mixed plans if you ever have them

Review your EPF and NPS allocation

Track your spending carefully

Plan for yearly rebalancing

Keep enough liquidity for short needs

Keep boredom decisions away

Stay invested even in tough times

Trust long-term compounding

Each step adds stability.
Your family will feel safe.

» Building a Strong Future Income Flow
Income must not come from one basket.
Income should come from:

MF SWP

PF interest

FD ladder

NPS withdrawal in a slow way

Equity redemption in a planned way

This spreads risk.
This spreads tax.
This spreads stress.

Staggered withdrawal helps peace.
Your money grows even while you spend.
Your corpus stays healthy.

» Maintaining Low Stress in Retirement
Retirement should be peaceful.
Money stress should be low.
Good planning ensures this.

Keep clear communication with your family.
Keep your files organised.
Keep your goals updated.
Keep calm during market swings.

Your corpus can support you.
Your strategy will shape your peace.

» Final Insights
Your Rs 3 Cr corpus is a strong base.
Your age gives you time to improve more.
Your monthly spending is manageable.
Your asset mix supports your future.

But planning is needed.
Cash flow must be aligned with inflation.
Growth assets must stay active.
Safety assets must be balanced.
Withdrawal must be planned wisely.
Health cost must be covered.
Risk must be contained.

With proper planning, your wealth can support the next 20 years.
Your family can live with comfort.
Your lifestyle can stay stable.
Your future can stay safe.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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