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Torn Between Love and Family: 21-Year-Old Telugu Girl Conflicted Over Interfaith Relationship

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

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Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I will be explaining my problem in detail. I sincerely appreciate your previous answer. As suggested, I spoke with my boyfriend about the apprehensions from my parents regarding cultural difference. He resolved many things . To be honest, what I mean by cultural difference is that I am from a Brahmin family who has been living in 'not so traditional' way. My parents are into the service class and are well educated. On the other hand, my boyfriend belongs to the merchant or 'Baniya' community and his father is a grocery shop owner and his mother is a housewife. Although they are decent people who do not put much restrictions. The reason my family is opposing this marriage even after resolving the apprehensions with my boyfriend is firstly his family background . My mother worries as to how she will introduce his family to our extended relatives and acquaintance. Adding to the problem, my boyfriend is 1.5 inches shorter than me. Now this is also a prime cause for major opposition from my family towards marrying my boyfriend. My mother explains this problem but I told her that these things do not matter . Could you please suggest me what to do now ? My boyfriend is an extremely loving person, who respects me and more than me he respects my family. Even after these problems he is ready to support me and wait for me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have said this:
My boyfriend is an extremely loving person, who respects me and more than me he respects my family. Even after these problems he is ready to support me and wait for me...
What more do you want?
Like I have already suggested, plan for how the two of you are going to face challenges when they arise and how you plan on working on differences that stem within the marriage due to culture and other values. Kindly refer to my first response to you...you will find suggestions there.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |427 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 06, 2026
Career
What should an employee do if the person they are supposed to report harassment or discrimination to is actually the same person involved in the problem? For example, suppose a senior manager regularly makes inappropriate comments about an employee’s appearance or background, and the employee wants to complain, but the company’s usual process says that concerns should first be reported to that manager. In such a situation, the employee may feel stuck because going directly to the same person doesn’t feel safe or comfortable. What alternative channels should an employee look for, such as HR, a higher-level manager, an internal complaints committee or an ethics helpline? Also, how can someone raise the concern professionally while protecting themselves from possible retaliation or further workplace problems?
Ans: Dear

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. Nonetheless there is a way to handle this.

If you have ethics helpline use that, these are supposed to be anonymous and managed by third party who are independent company.

You can also approach the complaints committee but before escalating to the committee please talk to your managers manager along with the HR and take them in confidence.

Maintain your calm, structure your conversation on issues and backed with evidence (what was said when) and most important of all avoid personal attacks or name calling.

Hope this helps. All the best.

Warm Regards
KK

Ps: if you like the answer please follow me. Thanks.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |747 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Relationship
My wife's sister's husband has become very friendly with me over the last few years. We meet often at family functions and sometimes talk separately about our personal lives. In the beginning, I was comfortable sharing things with him because I thought we had a good understanding. But slowly, I feel he has started asking too many questions about my marriage and my relationship with my wife. He sometimes asks about our arguments, our private matters and how we handle things at home. At the same time, he also shares many personal details about his own marriage with me, including problems and things that I feel are too private. Sometimes I don’t know how to respond, because I don’t want to encourage him to discuss such personal matters, but I also don’t want him to feel that I am avoiding him or judging him. Because we are family, I am worried that if I suddenly create distance or tell him directly to stop asking personal questions, it could create awkwardness between both families. I also don’t want my wife to feel that I am hiding something from her or that there is some problem between us.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns. You don't have to directly confront him about sharing too many personal details or asking you questions, nor do you need to create distance. The sweet spot is to build a gentle boundary. For instance, when he asks you something personal, instead of avoiding the question, just answer vaguely, like, "yes, things are going good" or "Nothing major. You know, routine married life stuff." This way, he will soon lose interest. And when he shares personal information with you, you can simply listen without offering any advice or asking follow-up questions. The conversation will die down on its own. This way, he will neither feel like you are avoiding a conversation with him nor believe that you are encouraging him to get up close and personal with you.

Most importantly, do not hide this friendship from your wife. It's okay. Friends do share things with each other at times and sometimes one person might feel burdened with too many information after a while. These are natural courses of a friendship. The important thing is that you are being considerate of your marriage and want to create a boundary. You can do that without being misunderstood or losing a friend.

Hope this helps.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11481 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 06, 2026

Money
Dear Sir/ Mam, My son is 28 years old. Should I buy a Term Insurance Policy for him? If so, suggest me name of Good policy and the suitable amount to be invested . rgds,
Ans: At age 28, taking term insurance can be considered, especially if your son has started earning and has financial responsibilities.

However, the policy should ideally be taken by your son himself. The need depends on his income, liabilities and dependants.

– If he has a home loan or other liabilities, adequate cover becomes more important.

– If parents, spouse or children depend on his income, insurance becomes even more relevant.

– If he is unmarried and has no financial dependants, the immediate need may be lower, but taking cover at a younger age can still be cost-effective.

» How much cover?

Do not decide the cover only based on his age.

Consider:

– Current annual income.

– Existing loans and liabilities.

– Financial support required by dependants.

– Future family responsibilities.

– Existing life insurance, if any.

A broad starting point can be around 10–15 times annual income, but the final cover should be based on his actual financial situation.

» Who should pay the premium?

Ideally, your son should own the policy and pay the premium.

This keeps the policy connected with his income and financial responsibilities.

You can certainly help him with the premium if required.

» Which policy?

I would not suggest a particular insurance company or policy without knowing his income, liabilities, health, smoking status and existing insurance.

Instead, compare established insurers on:

– Claim settlement record.

– Solvency and financial strength.

– Policy exclusions and conditions.

– Premium for the required tenure.

– Claim servicing quality.

Avoid buying an insurance policy merely because somebody promises investment returns or other benefits along with the insurance.

For a pure protection requirement, a simple term insurance policy is generally easier to understand.

» Final Insights

At 28, your son has a good opportunity to put proper protection in place before his financial responsibilities increase.

The important point is to decide the required cover first and then compare suitable policies.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12579 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Oct 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 25, 2026
Career
Hi experts I am raising the query on behalf of my son:- My son is doing his Final BCom(F&A)with Christ Bangalore- Also completed CA-Inter and undergoing internship at Bangalore. My query is:- a.With B.Com-CA-Inter- what is the job scope in India? b.Any chance to get Overseas placements- If yes- which country is preferable and how to proceed for job search. c.Any further courses needs to be completed along with B.Com-CA-? Submitted for your kind perusal and advice please. Thanks Srikanth
Ans: With B.Com + CA-Inter, there are good opportunities in India in audit, taxation, financial reporting, FP&A, internal audit and finance/shared-services roles. For overseas opportunities, it is better to focus on completing CA first. UAE can be a good starting option, while Singapore offers opportunities with MNCs; the UK, Canada and Australia can also be explored based on qualification and work-visa requirements. The ideal strategy would be to complete CA, gain 2–3 years of relevant experience with a Big 4 firm or reputed company, and then explore overseas opportunities through ICAI, LinkedIn, company career pages and internal transfers within MNCs. After CA, he can consider ACCA for international accounting, CFA for investment/finance roles, US CPA for US-focused accounting/MNCs, or shorter courses in IFRS, Advanced Excel, Power BI and SAP, depending on his career goals. If CA Final gets delayed, he can take up a suitable private-sector role in audit, taxation or financial analysis while continuing CA. ACCA, CMA or CS can also be considered after checking exemptions. If he prefers government employment, exams such as SSC CGL/AAO and RBI Grade B can be explored. Maintaining an active LinkedIn profile and setting relevant job alerts will also help him understand current hiring trends, skill requirements and opportunities and make informed short- and long-term career decisions. All The Best for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.
Asked on - Oct 06, 2026 | Answered on Oct 06, 2026
Thank you very much sir for your valuable guidance.
Ans: Welcome Sir.

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