Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 30, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Team, I am 40 years old with 9 year old son, divorced an year back. Separated from my husband 4 year's back....I am Senior software engineer, well settled in life with supporting family.. My mom wants me to get married, i have gone through a bad rough phase in my previous marriage..I also need a partner in life but worried about the kind of person who might come in life and not sure will the person be good and will be give intense love to me and my son.. For me my son is my world and he is my lifeline...I am Regular follow of your advises, i have seen many people approaching you people and they are looking for partners in life.. I don't want to register in matrimonial sites as maximum are fake profiles... What is your advise???

Ans: Marriage is over rated and a transactional relationship.Get a boyfriend instead. Don't worry about what society will say. Don't look for marriage. Meet people and if you meet someone who fits, then you can go ahead

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

Listen
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Listen
Relationship
HI MY NAME SRINITHI AM DIVORCE PERSON I HAVE ONE D/O 9 YR OLD .. AM STAY WITH SINGLE BUT MY MIND CHANGED . I NEED MARRIAGE FOR MIND
Ans: Hello Srinithi, it's understandable that your feelings and priorities can change over time. If you're considering marriage again for companionship and emotional fulfillment, here are some suggestions to navigate this process:

Reflect on Your Needs:

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and in a marriage. Consider your values, priorities, and the qualities you find important in a potential spouse.
Communicate with Your Child:

If you haven't already, have an open and honest conversation with your 9-year-old daughter about your feelings and intentions. Ensure she feels comfortable and secure with the idea of you entering into a new relationship.
Build a Support System:

Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and guidance as you navigate the process of seeking a new relationship.
Take It Slow:

When you feel ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, take things at a comfortable pace. Get to know potential partners gradually and allow relationships to develop naturally.
Be Honest About Your Past:

When entering into a new relationship, be open and honest about your past, including your divorce. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and understanding.
Consider Professional Support:

If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you explore your feelings and guide you through the process.
Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your boundaries and priorities in a new relationship. Understand what you're looking for and what you're willing to compromise on. This will help you make decisions that align with your values.
Stay True to Yourself:

Remember to stay true to your own needs and desires. Don't feel pressured to enter into a new relationship unless it feels right for you.
It's important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child as you consider a new chapter in your life. Taking things step by step, being open in communication, and seeking support can help you navigate this journey more smoothly.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello I am 41 years old but due to careless in life I can't take decision for marriage but now I am realising something wrong happened i started searching alliance but didn't get I want to be relation soon. Please guide me
Ans: It’s completely okay to have taken time figuring out what you wanted in life. Sometimes we don’t move forward simply because we weren’t ready, or we lacked the clarity or emotional support needed at the time. But that doesn't mean you're behind. Everyone’s timeline is different, and yours is still very much unfolding.

Now that you're feeling ready for a serious relationship, here are a few steps you can take to approach this new chapter with confidence and self-awareness.

Start with clarity. Reflect on what kind of partner you're looking for—not just in terms of age or background, but emotionally and mentally. What values matter to you? What kind of connection are you seeking? Are you open to someone who has been married before? Children? When you’re clear, it becomes easier to recognize the right person when they appear.

At the same time, look inward. Do some emotional housekeeping. Ask yourself: What kind of partner do I want to be? Am I emotionally available? Am I still carrying regret, fear, or pressure about being “late” to marriage? Because entering a relationship out of guilt or urgency often leads to settling. But entering it from a place of self-respect and genuine desire creates something meaningful.

Since you're actively searching, it’s okay to use all tools at your disposal—matrimonial sites, family networks, friends, or even a good matchmaker if culturally appropriate. But be patient and realistic. Finding someone who is also ready, aligned with your values, and emotionally compatible can take time.

Also, try not to let pressure—internal or external—rush you. You don’t need a "perfect" partner; you need someone who sees you, respects you, and is willing to grow with you.

And here’s something to hold on to: many people find love in their 40s, 50s, even later—and those relationships are often more conscious, mature, and fulfilling, because they’re built on real-life experience and emotional wisdom, not just youthful impulse.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025
Career
Bangulur institute of technology ece beter and bmsit cse beter tell me sir
Ans: Both Bangalore Institute of Technology (BIT) ECE and BMS Institute of Technology and Management (BMSIT) CSE present strong placement opportunities with distinct advantages in their respective domains. BIT Bangalore ECE demonstrates solid placement performance with 86% placement rate for Electronics & Communication Engineering, achieving 75-78% placement rates specifically for ECE students with companies like Amazon, Deloitte, Oracle, Samsung, IBM, Dell, and Robert Bosch actively recruiting. The institute holds NIRF ranking #251-300 in Engineering category 2024 and maintains A+ NAAC accreditation with strong industry connections. BMSIT CSE showcases superior placement consistency with 77.32% placement rate in 2024, 85.71% in previous years, and exceptional performance with 153 out of 203 CSE students placed in 2025. BMSIT maintains NIRF ranking #201-300 in Engineering category 2024 with top recruiters including Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs participating in placements. The CSE department at BMSIT demonstrates higher placement percentages compared to BIT's ECE branch, with specialized curriculum in emerging technologies and stronger industry alignment with current market demands in software development and IT sectors. Recommendation: Choose BMSIT CSE for superior placement consistency, higher placement percentages, better industry alignment with current technology demands, and stronger prospects in the rapidly growing IT sector over BIT Bangalore ECE. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Career
I got 114 marks in MET and my rank is 11137 and I got Electronics and Computer Engineering in Bangalore Campus, but being my preferred branch cse,will i get cse in Bangalore Campus if I go to the further rounds of counselling??
Ans: With MET rank 11137 and 114 marks, securing CSE at MIT Bangalore Campus in subsequent counselling rounds presents significant challenges but limited possibilities exist through the five-round counselling process. The current Round 1 cutoff for CSE at MIT Bangalore stands at 9362 for general category, while your Electronics and Computer Engineering allotment indicates acceptance within the 11838 closing rank range. MET 2025 counselling operates through five rounds plus an intra-institute sliding round, with registration for Round 2 scheduled from June 18-19, 2025, followed by seat allotment on June 21, 2025. Historical data shows CSE cutoffs have remained consistently competitive, with Round 1 closing ranks of 5141 in 2024, 6494 in 2023, and similar trends across previous years. While rank improvements of 1,000-2,000 positions occasionally occur in later rounds due to seat surrendering and choice modifications, the gap of approximately 1,775 ranks between your rank (11137) and current CSE cutoff (9362) makes admission highly unlikely. MIT Bangalore demonstrates strong placement performance with highest package of INR 51 LPA, average package of INR 12.5 LPA, and median package of INR 10 LPA, with top recruiters including Amazon, Microsoft, TCS, Goldman Sachs, and over 330 companies participating in placements. Electronics and Computer Engineering at MIT Bangalore offers excellent career prospects with strong industry exposure similar to CSE, benefiting from the centralized placement process shared with MIT Manipal. Recommendation: Accept Electronics and Computer Engineering at MIT Bangalore as it offers excellent placement prospects with similar industry exposure to CSE, while registering for subsequent counselling rounds as backup, though CSE admission probability remains extremely low given the competitive cutoff trends and significant rank gap. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2025
Money
I'm 30 years old unmarried. I have 5L FD, 4L in savings, 25k Rd every month, 11k MF(w/step-up of 500 semi-annually), 20K quaterly in PPF 27k home loan emi, 10K saving additionally for collecting 6 months worth emi, 1.7L is monthly income. My home loan(joint) emi will go for 4 more years from now, after that siblings will take that. I want to have financial freedom as soon as possible but also build some assets of my own and travel. Please suggest a plan.
Ans: You are 30, unmarried, and already doing well. You are saving and investing thoughtfully. That is excellent. Let us build a 360?degree strategy covering wealth creation, financial freedom, travel, and goals of your own.

Current Snapshot
You are 30 and unmarried.

You have Rs.?5?lakh in FD and Rs.?4?lakh in savings.

You invest Rs.?25?k monthly in RD.

You run a mutual fund SIP of Rs.?11?k monthly with semi?annual Rs.?500 step?ups.

You invest Rs.?20?k quarterly (about Rs.?6.6?k monthly) in PPF.

Your joint home loan EMI is Rs.?27?k per month and ends in 4 years.

You save an extra Rs.?10?k monthly to build a 6?month EMI buffer.

Your total monthly income is Rs.?1.7?lakh.

You already display strong financial habits. Now let’s refine the plan for financial freedom, assets, and travel.

Emergency Fund & Liquidity
You have over 6 months’ expenses already covered.
Keep this buffer in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.
Convert some savings to liquid investment for slightly higher yield.
Maintain this fund to avoid disrupting long-term investments in a crisis.

Optimise Low-Yield Investments
Your RD yields low returns. Shift it gradually to growth-oriented but stable alternatives.
Consider debt or hybrid mutual funds that provide better returns with liquidity.
Phase out RD once your liquid fund is comfortable and step into better-performing assets.

Debt and Home Loan Strategy
Your home loan EMI of Rs.?27?k ends in 4 years.
Continue saving Rs.?10?k monthly towards an EMI buffer.
Once EMI ends, redirect EMI and buffer savings into your SIPs and goals.
If a lump sum or bonus comes, consider part-prepayment to lower interest and tenure.

PPF Contribution
Your quarterly contributions to PPF offer tax-free, safe returns.
Continue regular investments up to Rs.?1 lakh per financial year.
Keep PPF as your conservative investment pillar alongside equity SIPs.

Mutual Fund SIP Strategy
You currently invest Rs.?11?k monthly with step-ups.
Target increasing SIP to Rs.?25?k monthly over time.
Build a diversified allocation across fund categories: large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, ELSS, and balanced-advantage.
Maintain a mix that balances risk and growth appropriate for your age.

Why Avoid Direct and Index Funds
Direct funds lack guidance and portfolio review.
You might exit wrongly during market volatility.
Index funds follow index blindly and cannot protect against downturns.
Actively managed funds make strategic stock decisions and offer downside protection.
Opt for regular plans through CFP?affiliated MFDs for support.

Insurance Cover
Unmarried at 30, you still need personal cover:
Health insurance with a minimum Rs.?5–10 lakh sum insured is recommended.
If any debt continues after EMI ends, consider term life insurance of at least Rs.?1 crore to cover financial liabilities.
Avoid mixing insurance with investment through ULIP or traditional plans.

Goal-Based Investing: Travel & Asset Building
You want travel and building assets.
Allocate Rs.?5?k monthly to a travel fund in a 2–3 year time horizon via hybrid or short-term debt funds.
For personal assets (car, skills, etc.), allocate another Rs.?5?k to mid-term equity or hybrid funds with a 5–7 year horizon.
Use goal-based mapping to maintain your focus and avoid detours.

Passive Income and Financial Freedom
After EMI ends, the redirected Rs.?37?k monthly can power your passive income goals.
Continue SIPs to build across balanced and equity funds.
Over time, the portfolio can be adjusted toward hybrid or debt for regular income once it reaches sufficient size.
Consider skill-based side income streams aligned with your interests to boost freedom.

Review and Rebalance
Perform a disciplined review of your portfolio every 6 to 12 months with your CFP and MFD.
Assess fund performance, risk levels, and alignment with your goals.
Rebalance asset allocation to maintain your original risk profile.
Avoid frequent switching based on short-term trends—focus on long-term wealth creation.

Scaling Up SIPs Post-EMI
To build momentum:

Year 1: Gradually increase monthly SIP to Rs.?15–18?k

Year 2–3: Scale further to Rs.?25?k as disposable income grows and EMI stops

This step-up system adapts to your changing cash flow without burdening your budget.

Final Insights
Your financial discipline is commendable; keep it up

Strengthen emergency and liquid cushions first

Shift low-yield RD to growth-oriented funds

Maintain PPF for stability

Build diversified SIP portfolio through expert guidance

Avoid direct or index funds

Secure health cover and term insurance if debt remains

Plan for travel and assets with targeted funds

Aim to create passive income through SIPs and skills

Monitor and rebalance annually, not frequently

Your journey to financial freedom is well underway. With structure and consistency, you can achieve independence, travel goals, and build meaningful assets.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x