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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2023Hindi
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My five-year-old daughter has just started school. For the first two days she was fine, but after that she started crying the whole time. Her teachers called us, asking us to take her home as she was crying relentlessly. We were even allowed to sit with her at school, but still she refused to go to class. Now, she even refuses to go to school. We push her inside the class but she comes out running moments later. Cries the whole time she is in school, whether we are there or not. We asked her if everything is fine, she only says 'I don't like school, don't like teachers and classmates'. Two of her friends, with whom she plays every evening, are also in the same class. But she refuses to even sit with them in the class. She misbehaves with teachers when forced to sit in the class. Though she apologises later when prompted. One day when we left her in school, we got a call within half an hour that she is showing very violent behaviour, hitting herself against the wall and running towards the school gate. All this made us very frightened as school buses keep coming and going on the main thoroughfare. The school counsellor failed to help. She said my daughter is not responding to counselling. We are absolutely clueless about what to do. Forcing her seems pointless.

Ans: The child seems to have Social Anxiety.However this can be determined by detailed Analysis.
You can start introducing the child to small groups rather than just stopping it. The best is introduce her to different set of people in a group and settings more often.Every behavior shown will have a function which we need to understand well before putting the intervention.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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My five-year-old child has just started going to school a month ago. She has never been out without her parents. This is her first time outside in a big set up with complete strangers. Initially, she cried a lot and we tried leaving her at school first and then staying with her there for some time. But the school authorities took things in their hands a couple of days ago. My child started sitting in the class and stopped crying, and according to them 'she is fine now'. But she became very quiet after coming back. Her usual playfulness was missing. She was not speaking much and was mostly nodding her head in response when asked anything. Even the things she is usually excited by were not interesting her. She went out to play but came shortly saying 'I am tired'. I took her out and after very long time she started talking normally. I spoke to her teachers and they said we were a bit strict with her today as it was needed. They're saying we should send her to school and this behaviour would be over within a week or so. But my wife and I are very worried that her childhood is being lost in this exercise. What should we do?
Ans: It is trying as a parent to see your child grow and develop in so many ways. It takes a village to bring up a child. Parenting is an art and you learn on the job. Averagely schools build discipline, consistency and hardwork. Parents build social connectedness, and support a child to see the real world. Trust professionals and be there as parents to hug and be hearing ears. But you are a team with the school faculty so you could reach out and connect with them. Hear their views, state yours views positively, and work towards the betterment of your child, trust processes. Children are precious and entry into the real world is tough for any child away from the cocoon of home. You both are her trusted adults, support the teacher to be her trusted adult too. Positive words fun and play are wonderful additions in a child’s life. Revert back with your way forward.

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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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I am writing to express my concerns about my daughter, who is 10 years old. Over the past six months, she has been experiencing difficulties at school due to bullying from one of her classmates. This classmate has been isolating her from her other friends and has been making her feel uncomfortable. Consequently, her grades have started to decline, and she has been expressing a reluctance to attend school. My daughter has confided in me about this issue, and she is desperate to distance herself from this classmate. However, she is feeling scared and lacks the confidence to do so. Additionally, I have observed changes in her behavior at home. She has become more irritable, moody, and adamant. I believe this may be due to feelings of being neglected in comparison to her younger brother, who is three years old. While she loves her brother dearly, she sometimes feels that I give him more attention due to his age. As a parent, I am trying my best to support and reassure her, but I feel that I may not be providing enough help. I am seeking your guidance and assistance in addressing these issues and helping my daughter navigate through this challenging time.
Ans: Bullying in the school has to be taken seriously by the school and parents. I am glad that you are trying to provide her with strength to deal with this. Try to understand about the other child who is doing that,if possible take the help of teachers,peers and counselors in the school to counsel the child . Meanwhile try to help your child to develop self confidence and deal with this confidently. Make your child have strong self belief to have a better self esteem.

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Anu

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2026Hindi
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My family is pressurising me to get married to a girl I am not interested in. I am 36 and the girl is 28. I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late night kinds. She is very active on social media. In fact, she was very judgemental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting. I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations. There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners. They feel I am overthinking and overreacting. I feel like no one is listening to me, what I want, including my grandparents. What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings. Please have one on one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually. Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, “She enjoys partying and I don’t. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?” “What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?” This might help them imagine the situation a little better. Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise. Have an honest conversation; don’t try to convince her to break the marriage, rather have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly. I am sure this will help you in the situation.

Hope this helps.

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2026Hindi
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Hello, I have been investing in mutual funds using regular plans. Recently couple of my friends have been pushing me to stop SIPs and investments for Regular plans and go in with Direct plans. While I understand that the commissions that I pay to the financial advisor is considerable, I want to understand typically what how much am I losing by not investing in Direct plans. I read in a Sample report of an RIA that I will be losing around 15% due to regular plans. Is it a real thing? any thoughts about it? The inputs provided by my mutual fund distributor are good, but I do feel that I can also invest in flexi funds and achieve the same results. Kindly share your inputs.
Ans: Hi,

Yes there is a difference between regular and direct plans.
Direct plans are for people who have a very good understanding and can manage their portfolio. But even those people need an advisor at some point once their portfolio grows into lakhs and crores.
Hence it is always better to go for regular plans from the start as an early guidance helps you achieve your goals in a more planned way.

Choosing a wrong direct plan can adversely affect the portfolio and instead of saving 1% on commissions, one may end up losing upto 10% on an yearly basis.
Also choosing some random plans such as flexicap along with your regular portfolio is not a good idea. An advisor critically measures your profile and work accordingly.
It is always better to listen to your advisor.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
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I am 41 yrs old working as a Senior Manager in PSB, living with my wife and no children. Due to work pressure, Stress, Transfer posting , etc. i am planning for semi-retirement at the middle of this year. Kindly advice is it too risky or fine to retire with my Asset & Liabilities as below ASSETS 1. NPS: 32.00 lakhs 2.Mutual Fund & Stock: 25.00 lakhs 3. FD: 16 Lakhs 4. Land: 40.00 lakhs 5. PPF: 3.5 lakhs LIABILITIES Car loan: 3.5 lakhs,EMI:7000/- After retirement I am planning for Banking & Financial consultancy business and DSA with Bank (Earning: Unpredictable). My current monthly expanses is Rs.50000/- per month. Living in Urban area.
Ans: Hi,

Your current assets are not sufficient for you to leave your job currently.
However, setup the business along with your job and then check the status after 6 months. If you are able to earn more than your expenses, you can consider getting retirement.
But make sure to have enough savings for other financial goals such as travel , health, other major liabilities etc.

You need atleast assets worth 1.1 crores in mutual funds for you to retire to fund your retirement forever (assuming xirr 11% pa.)

Hence try setting up a business side by side. And increase your investments in mutual funds substantially with help of a professional to get it aligned with your plans.

Consider consulting a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

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Hi Guru, I'm 43 Yrs old and investing in SIPs since last 4 years in the following - 1. SBI Small Cap Regular plan Growth - 5,000 2. ICICI Prudential Value Fund - 10,000 3. Motilal Oswal mid Cap fund - 5,000 4. Kotak Flexicap fund Regular Plan growth - 10,000 I also have the following policies - 1. ICICI Prudential Smartlife RP (ULIP) - 10,000 Per Month 2. Kotak Assured Savings Plan - 13,433 Per Month. Please check and let me know if everything is ok or else help me with any other SIPs or Policies. Many Thanks in Advance ..! Suresh G
Ans: Hi Suresh,

It is good that you have built a discipline for investing over the past 4 years.

The SIP funds you mentioned are good for long term, but selection can be improved more to generate better returns in alignment to your long term goals. You can try including large cap fund and make changes accordignly. Or choose to connect with a professional who will help you in improving fund selection.

The policies mentioned are not recommended to continue. Policies like this have a cagd of 5-6% annually when calculated accurately which is even less than FD. Hence you may choose to surrender and close these and redirect the investments into mutual funds for better returns and performance.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

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Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10998 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

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Considering current and future economic and situations, between fixed or floating home loan, which is better ? I'm going to take home loan from HDFC Bank for around 40 to 45 lakhs for 15 yrs. Pls suggest me also tell me what terms needs to be checked in loan agreement before signing
Ans: Appreciate your intent to choose the right loan structure with clear thinking. Choosing between fixed and floating rate for a home loan of around Rs 40–45 lakhs for 15 years is a big financial decision. It can impact your monthly cash flow, overall cost, and peace of mind.

» Difference between fixed and floating interest rates
– Fixed rate means your interest rate stays the same throughout the chosen fixed period. Your monthly EMI does not change during that period.
– Floating rate means the interest can go up or down with market benchmarks like the repo rate or bank’s internal benchmarks. Your EMI or loan tenure may adjust when rates change.

» What current and future economic conditions mean
– Interest rates globally and domestically have seen rises due to inflationary pressure, central bank policy tightening, and costlier funds for banks.
– In a rising rate scenario, fixed rates protect you from future rate hikes.
– In a falling or stable rate scenario, floating rates may cost less over time.

» Why floating rate usually works well for 15-year loans
– Floating rate typically starts lower than fixed rate, giving you initial cost advantage.
– Over long horizons, banks may adjust rates downward when economic pressure eases.
– You retain flexibility to prepay or refinance when rates soften.
– Many borrowers pay lower total interest with floating when rates stabilise.

» When fixed rate can be appropriate
– If you prioritise certainty of EMI and peace of mind even if rates rise in future.
– If you are not comfortable with EMI changes in your monthly budgeting.
– If your income is tight and you prefer predictable cash flows.

» Practical view for your case
– With a 15-year term and current rate cycle, floating rate is generally more suitable.
– It gives you lower initial cost and flexibility to refinance or prepay when rates soften.
– Fixed rate may feel secure but often costs more in long term if rates do not rise significantly.

» Key terms to check in loan agreement before signing
– Interest rate type and reset clause – How often the floating rate can change and by what benchmark.
– Processing fees and other charges – Upfront cost that adds to your total cost of borrowing.
– Prepayment and part-prepayment terms – Whether prepayment is allowed without penalty and how often you can prepay.
– Conversion options – Whether you can switch from floating to fixed (or vice versa) and at what cost.
– Penal interest – Charges if you delay EMI payments and how they are calculated.
– Loan disbursement schedule – Especially for under-construction properties, how and when funds are released.
– Foreclosure charges – Fees if you fully close the loan before term ends.
– Interest computation method – Whether interest is calculated on a reducing balance basis.

» How to structure your loan for comfort and cost efficiency
– Choose floating rate with a short initial lock-in if you prefer lower cost.
– Keep prepayment and part-payment flexibility open so you can reduce outstanding principal with surplus funds.
– Monitor rate environment annually to decide if converting to fixed or refinancing makes sense.
– Keep an emergency buffer so you are not pressured if floating rates tick up temporarily.

» Final Insights
– Floating rate home loan typically suits you better over 15 years in current economic context.
– Fixed rate gives peace but often costs more if rates do not rise sharply.
– Focus on key loan terms before signing so no surprises later.
– With careful planning and periodic review, your housing finance cost can be controlled well.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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