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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2023Hindi
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My five-year-old daughter has just started school. For the first two days she was fine, but after that she started crying the whole time. Her teachers called us, asking us to take her home as she was crying relentlessly. We were even allowed to sit with her at school, but still she refused to go to class. Now, she even refuses to go to school. We push her inside the class but she comes out running moments later. Cries the whole time she is in school, whether we are there or not. We asked her if everything is fine, she only says 'I don't like school, don't like teachers and classmates'. Two of her friends, with whom she plays every evening, are also in the same class. But she refuses to even sit with them in the class. She misbehaves with teachers when forced to sit in the class. Though she apologises later when prompted. One day when we left her in school, we got a call within half an hour that she is showing very violent behaviour, hitting herself against the wall and running towards the school gate. All this made us very frightened as school buses keep coming and going on the main thoroughfare. The school counsellor failed to help. She said my daughter is not responding to counselling. We are absolutely clueless about what to do. Forcing her seems pointless.

Ans: The child seems to have Social Anxiety.However this can be determined by detailed Analysis.
You can start introducing the child to small groups rather than just stopping it. The best is introduce her to different set of people in a group and settings more often.Every behavior shown will have a function which we need to understand well before putting the intervention.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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My five-year-old child has just started going to school a month ago. She has never been out without her parents. This is her first time outside in a big set up with complete strangers. Initially, she cried a lot and we tried leaving her at school first and then staying with her there for some time. But the school authorities took things in their hands a couple of days ago. My child started sitting in the class and stopped crying, and according to them 'she is fine now'. But she became very quiet after coming back. Her usual playfulness was missing. She was not speaking much and was mostly nodding her head in response when asked anything. Even the things she is usually excited by were not interesting her. She went out to play but came shortly saying 'I am tired'. I took her out and after very long time she started talking normally. I spoke to her teachers and they said we were a bit strict with her today as it was needed. They're saying we should send her to school and this behaviour would be over within a week or so. But my wife and I are very worried that her childhood is being lost in this exercise. What should we do?
Ans: It is trying as a parent to see your child grow and develop in so many ways. It takes a village to bring up a child. Parenting is an art and you learn on the job. Averagely schools build discipline, consistency and hardwork. Parents build social connectedness, and support a child to see the real world. Trust professionals and be there as parents to hug and be hearing ears. But you are a team with the school faculty so you could reach out and connect with them. Hear their views, state yours views positively, and work towards the betterment of your child, trust processes. Children are precious and entry into the real world is tough for any child away from the cocoon of home. You both are her trusted adults, support the teacher to be her trusted adult too. Positive words fun and play are wonderful additions in a child’s life. Revert back with your way forward.

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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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I am writing to express my concerns about my daughter, who is 10 years old. Over the past six months, she has been experiencing difficulties at school due to bullying from one of her classmates. This classmate has been isolating her from her other friends and has been making her feel uncomfortable. Consequently, her grades have started to decline, and she has been expressing a reluctance to attend school. My daughter has confided in me about this issue, and she is desperate to distance herself from this classmate. However, she is feeling scared and lacks the confidence to do so. Additionally, I have observed changes in her behavior at home. She has become more irritable, moody, and adamant. I believe this may be due to feelings of being neglected in comparison to her younger brother, who is three years old. While she loves her brother dearly, she sometimes feels that I give him more attention due to his age. As a parent, I am trying my best to support and reassure her, but I feel that I may not be providing enough help. I am seeking your guidance and assistance in addressing these issues and helping my daughter navigate through this challenging time.
Ans: Bullying in the school has to be taken seriously by the school and parents. I am glad that you are trying to provide her with strength to deal with this. Try to understand about the other child who is doing that,if possible take the help of teachers,peers and counselors in the school to counsel the child . Meanwhile try to help your child to develop self confidence and deal with this confidently. Make your child have strong self belief to have a better self esteem.

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