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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
JR Question by JR on Jun 15, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I need your expert advice in parenting my daughter.

I am a 45 year old mother having two children, a daughter (aged 10 years) and a son (aged 7 years).

My husband is very bad at finance issues and because of that we had some issues with my marriage. So

I shifted to my mother's place with my kids and we were not in touch with my husband for quite some time.

It’s been six years I have been bringing up my kids with very less support/ no support either from my husband or my mother.

Since my husband is not staying with us, my kids have been missing their father. Of late, my husband visits us often and he spends time with the kids whenever possible.

Though she is 10 years old, my daughter is not having that level of maturity.

She is very illogical and dull. I have been training her in certain household work like sweeping the house, washing her clothes and all.

She is doing all the work with no concentration/involvement/interest and so the output is pathetic.

She is like that in her studies also. I have been explaining things in a very detailed way even then she is doing things like that.

During my childhood no one was there to explain me but for my daughter I am there but she is not understanding the value of it. I am getting frustrated and irritated because of her.

My question is since she was missing her father couple of years in the recent past, her behaviour is like this.

Is there anything that I can do for her improvement?

Shortly she might be starting her puberty cycle and before that I would like to make her logical and smart.

I have been consistently trying for this by chatting with her alone but could not see any betterment. Kindly help me out.

Ans: Dear JR, when you say: She is very illogical and dull, what does this mean?

Does she take time to understand things? Or is it that she is being evaluated based on what others her age are doing?

At age 10, do you want a happy child or a child who excels in washing clothes and doing all your housework.

Sharing responsibilities at home is perfectly fine, but to judge your child based on that by saying: ‘output is pathetic’ only demoralizes the child further.

She possibly has missed her father all these years and what you need to do is fill it with more love, care and what is the point in driving the point that you didn’t have anyone and she has you and she has to understand the value of this.

She is 10, please allow her to be her age and feel free with each of you.

Create an environment that is loving and caring and supporting from both parents will enable her to relax, be cheerful, grow and be active. And this environment is not for any sort of evaluation or to see a favourable behaviour from her in return.

In a few years from now, she will be hitting puberty.

Let her walk into that phase with confidence and pride rather than self-doubt and shame. I am sure that as a mother you know how important that time is for a young girl.

Start thinking of how to be back together as a family as it isn’t easy for you as well to be away from your husband.

This could also be adding to your stress and maybe it comes out in different ways.

Be with your daughter, love her and encourage her and even after that, you see that there is a challenge, then maybe it’s time to visit a professional who can step in and help.

Happy parenting and be well and stress-free!

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Kanchan, this query is regarding dealing with our teenage daughter (13 yrs). It is almost difficult to get her to do anything at home. She does not clean her room, take care of her share of chores. She is not dumb, but below average student in class. She used to go to guitar class and once faced stiff competition in her school , she is not participating in music competitions after that . Both me and my wife had been industrious and competitive students. We are ok with her not picking up studies, but what i don't see, is a spark to excel at anything. Her friends have passed French level 1 exams and even though she is learning for last 4 yrs, she doesn't appear for them. Everyday is escalating into huge arguments between her and my wife , with few broken items at home. As I mentioned studies excellence is not a concern, but we are unable to motivate her to put up a fight for the things she wants in life. She would come home from school and watch YT, reels, etc for hrs at stretch. Since we both husband wife are working, it is very difficult to monitor her all the time. We fear that she is already influencing our 9 yr old son , who is a discplined kid otherwise. We feel helpless most of the time, as she is not amending her ways. Please suggest what to do?
Ans: One of the things that might be happening here is that your daughter is at an age where identity and confidence issues often come to the forefront. At 13, she’s navigating a lot—social pressures, changing emotions, and maybe even a fear of not being able to meet the expectations of her parents, peers, or even herself. The fact that she stopped participating in music competitions after facing stiff competition might indicate she’s dealing with fear of failure or rejection. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but more that she may be afraid of not being good enough, and in response, she avoids trying at all.

Instead of pushing her to excel, the first step might be to understand what’s going on emotionally. Teenagers are notorious for shutting down or rebelling when they feel pressure, even if it’s unintentional. Try creating an environment where she feels safe to open up without fear of judgment or comparison to others. Sit down with her and have an open, calm conversation where you genuinely listen to her side. She might not know how to express her frustrations or fears, but giving her the space to talk could help her feel supported instead of criticized.

I understand your concern about her spending hours on YouTube or watching reels. This can be both a form of escapism and a way for her to feel connected to her peers. Rather than banning or limiting screen time strictly, which could create more conflict, try to understand what she’s watching and why she’s so drawn to it. Maybe this can lead to finding a common ground or encouraging her to pursue interests related to what she enjoys online, without the pressure of competition.

It’s also possible she’s feeling the weight of expectations, even if you don’t consciously put them on her. Sometimes just knowing that her parents were high achievers can make her feel like she’s falling short. Helping her feel that it’s okay not to have everything figured out yet might ease some of the pressure.

You’re also right to be concerned about her influence on your younger son. His more disciplined nature may make him vulnerable to picking up some of her habits. But rather than positioning them as opposites, encourage them both to find balance—showing her that discipline and effort don’t have to come with the weight of pressure might help her change her behavior, too.

The arguments with your wife and the escalation at home are clearly a sign that things are reaching a boiling point, but remember that this doesn’t mean she’s unreachable. This is a tough stage, but with patience, empathy, and a bit of flexibility in your approach, it’s possible to guide her without feeling like you’re losing control of the situation.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

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