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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

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I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

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Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Madam I am 36 years old and got married at 29. I have a 2year old daughter. My wife is highly impatient and always wants everyone to consider her as the centre of the universe. She has no interest in understanding peoples emotions and only cares for herself. Me and my family has no issues with this until my kid was born. After she is born, I had to devote much of my attention to my kid since my wife was very lackadaisical toward my baby. My whole energy was spent with my daughter who herself was a hyperactive kid but i do enjoy playing with her. But inspite of not understanding the fact that my whole energy is drained out by my kid, my wife starts blaming me that I am not taking care of her. What she wants is a silent husband who would silent approve of her whole nonsensical tantrums which of course i cant given the fact that my kid is growing up and i don't want her to take up these habits of her mothers. I have tried as much as possible to reason with her with patience but to no avail and my parents and relatives too after closely seeing my condition have also suggested a professional help in this regard. The fact is expect for people who are staying closely with us, no one can sense this attitude of her's and its quite difficult for others to believe when I am trying to tell them of this. Could you give me some help in this. How can I make her understand that I am not just a husband but I am a father , a son, a brother , a friend and more than that a human being.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Has you wife always been the way that you have described or has any incident given rise to this impatience and lack of reasoning?
A professional opinion may definitely be helpful in assessing what's going on and what can be done to streamline her thoughts into creating a family and a better life for herself and those around her.
Since, I don't know all the facts, I am unable to make a professional evaluation and can only work on some assumptions here.
Maybe she feels dissatisfied with being a wife and a mother and possibly wants to have a career for herself. Maybe motherhood is overwhelming for her and the responsibilities are worrying her.
Maybe she is seeking you care and attention.
Remember even a child when he/she throws a tantrum, you go deep to find the reason for it. It's never without a strong reason...So, do not dismiss what you wife might be going through. It needs to be taken care of.
In the meantime, care for yourself by making sure that you get some time off from playing the parent.
Find your ME time and indulge in your hobbies to maintain your sanity. You need to be a good kind space to be able to support your wife and child, so do what it takes to feel simple joys. So, seek professional help and NOW! Sometimes a total stranger can work wonders up...

All the best!

..Read more

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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I have completed my msc in biochemistry n now doing internship but I am confusing about my future because I see this field don't pay me inuff for life even for future... N don't have more jobs in Maharashtra. I don't like production jobs but in Pharma only production pay much so what can I do .. Can u suggest me which job is high payable after Msc biochemistry
Ans: Hi Nandu,

Greetings!

Could you please let me know which year you completed your course and whether you are currently doing an internship or apprenticeship? An internship is part of the curriculum, where students gain practical training, sometimes with a stipend and sometimes without. After completing your course, you can opt for an apprenticeship, which typically lasts one to one and a half years and includes a stipend, usually split 50%-50% between the industry and government.

If you are in the internship phase, please inform me about the specific field you are working in. Initially, you may not expect a high salary, but after gaining expertise in your field, your compensation will improve. Typically, this takes about three years, so it’s important to focus on skill acquisition for a better future.

If your internship aligns with your field of study, I encourage you to continue and consider starting a medical lab or exploring opportunities in medical devices related to biochemistry. However, pursuing a career in pharmaceutical production may not be suitable for you, as it is a different field, and you may find it challenging to grasp the processes involved since you are currently inexperienced in that area.

Please share the specific field of your internship, and I would be happy to provide more tailored advice.
with regards

Poocho. Life Change Karo!

...Read more

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