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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am 45 year old and married from last 16 years and having 15 year old daughter . My Wife and I didn't have a good relation, We fight a lot, not sure what ever I speak she didn't like it and some how converted into argument , My wife is 10 year younger to me , I used to have good sex life at-least few year back, but relation was not good that time too, some how she is either having feeling of superiority or not sure what , She always blames me or my daughter if any things happen, she didn't ready to accept that she can be wrong . Previously even we used to have fight but overall things was fine , she used to generally fight but some how we do makeup after fight , now situation is out of control, she didn't accept her mistake and try to blame me for all the problem , she do over spend and if I try to control she start fighting, I think she just fight for what ever things she need for her selves , but always criticized / blame other , She pick up fight very easily with any one , She even fight a lot with our daughter . Even daughter some time suggest to go separate road than only she will understand , I try to go for concealing but no help , there also when used to discuss problem she hardly listen , even Councilor told her she must develop habit to listen others but nothing improve, I am not sure how to tackle this , She always sleep alone and if any disturbance she create ruckus , she want the things her own way if not than she can't tolerate . I am not sure but I need help here and problem after covid is more now , I try to manage these things previously but looks I don't have patience to handle this any more, I didn't like people blaming for no reason, it looks some time after doing so much for family I am nothing for my family and it is hurting me more. I will not say that I didn't fight , I do and mainly when I feel broken I shout on her and some time asked her to live the house , This may be as she always says she is looking for some one once she find she will leave the house , She always give threat and always say she didn't love me , She didn't find me attractive enough . She try to create environment where I should feel that I am not important person as well as social , I can write 10 more page around this but wanted to have some solution , not sure what could be best here . I wrote previously too but have not got any response yet.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest that the two of you go and see a marriage therapist. This is not simply the job of a counselor; there is clearly a breakdown in the way your marriage is functioning...it needs both of you to build the marriage back again and the therapist will be able to see and review both sides and suggest/guide you two correctly.

10 or 20 pages are not going to help; what will help is that both of you sit down and think of why you are married and what you can do to rebuild it. Blaming her or yourself isn't anyway going to help...Rather than listing down each others' faults, try to work at this.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2021

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Dear Anu, I am married for 18 years. Have two kids, son (17) and daughter (9). My problem is that though I am in a regular job at a PSU, my wife thinks that I don't earn much. She thinks so much and get stressed which in turn gets in explosive and when it burst I cannot control myself and I get physical (manhandle) her. Due to this all fault becomes my fault and I have to apologise to her for behaviour. Apart from this she is having some kind of problem which she keeps fuming at me or anyone for that matter for anything. When I get irritated by such things she refuses that she didn't even said so. If said so, I understood it in wrong sense. I think I am having too many problems which I cannot explain here. Sometimes I think of going to psychiatrist but don't wish to go because then I will be certified as mad and thereafter all fault and problems will be due to me. If I ask her to go to psychiatrist she won't agree either. Please help how to deal such situation in this stage of life. I love her so much so there is no question of separating from her. Please feel free to ask me anything you require for giving me a response.
Ans: Dear AKB, why does money ever come into a marriage; I wonder!

Well, we do need money to keep the family running, right?

Somehow, external happenings of someone earning more can get into the marriage cropping up as comparisons.

What started as a mere seed of comparison, slowly starts to become a huge tree with fruits of poison robbing even the small successes that you might have had.

Even that seems never enough leaving you with a feeling of inadequacy.

This affects marriage compatibility and comes out as anger, sadness, violent outburst, finger pointing which is evident in your marriage.

At the same time, I am sure your wife does not really intend to hurt you with these behavioural displays.

And that’s why externalising the situation to be your fault arises and she does not want to think that her perceptions are what are causing the situation.

Either you sit her down and bring her down to facts of the matter that this is how life is going to be and this is the money is what you can bring.

If it’s still an issue and she has a hard time accepting this reality, involve an elder member from her family to communicate with her.

Show her the mirror as to how her wants are unequal to what money is coming in and how this regular chatter might be affecting the children as well.

If anyone needs professional intervention, it’s both of you going to a therapist and not a psychiatrist.

The expert can help out things into perspective where both of you can rebuild your relationship with renewed mind spaces.

Happy rebuilding!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 01, 2023

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Hi Dr. Ashish, Good Afternoon, Iam 45 years old. I got married in 2010. My wife has ego and doesnt get adjusted to me and my family. I occured the experience after 2012 when my wife was 2 month pregnant. I was going to job, there was no peace of mind at all. From 2013 february we are not staying together. Her life is running as per her mother advice. We are having a communication very rarely. I had heard from her mother in law like impotent, not capable of doing anything. There are de-grading words always used and treated with no respect whenever i visited my wife house. My wife has communicated me verbally on January 2023, that she doesn't want the relationship to continue. She blocked me on whatsapp dated 03rd February 2023. I have one daughter aged 9 years. I am calling every week to get in touch with my daughter. The wife family not responding to the phones and my wife also. Request your sincere advice for permanent solution. Thanks & Regards, Deepak Shetty
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your marriage and with your wife's family. It sounds like a challenging situation, but I'll try my best to offer some general advice.

Seek professional help: Considering the complexities of your situation, it might be helpful to seek professional guidance. Marriage counselors or therapists can provide a neutral space for both you and your wife to express your concerns and work towards finding a resolution.

Legal advice: If your attempts at communication and reconciliation have not been successful, it may be advisable to consult with a lawyer to understand your legal rights and options. They can guide you through the process and help you navigate any legal implications, especially regarding your relationship with your daughter.

Open communication: While it may be challenging, try to maintain open lines of communication with your wife. Clearly express your desire to work on the relationship and be involved in your daughter's life. Choose a calm and respectful approach when communicating, even if the response is not favorable.

Mediation: Consider involving a mediator to facilitate communication between you and your wife. A neutral third party can help create a constructive environment for dialogue and negotiation, increasing the chances of finding a mutually acceptable solution.

Patience and understanding: Dealing with relationship issues takes time and effort. It's important to remain patient, understanding, and willing to work towards a resolution. Focus on the best interests of your daughter and strive for an amicable co-parenting relationship, even if the marital relationship cannot be mended.

Focus on personal well-being: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally during this challenging time. Seek support from friends, family, or support groups. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you maintain a positive outlook.

Remember that every situation is unique, and the advice provided here may not fully address your specific circumstances. It's crucial to consult professionals who can provide personalized guidance based on a deeper understanding of your situation.
(more)
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.
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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir I am 37 years old male and married since 5 years and we had little girl of 4 years old. I need some advice for my relationship. We had problems in our relationship since the beginning of our engagement, as initially I was unaware of my wife's extra marital affairs when I come to know about it she told why she started to see other boy during engagement period also after our marriage as I wasn't upto her expectations, that was the time of 2019 . We had discussed about all each others expectations and solved the problem I tried to regain the confidence in our relationship but still somewhere we had fights every 5 to 6 months on different issues sometimes it's my parents sometimes it's me I dont give her time sometimes financially , in between she left my house and went to her father's home for 8 months after delivery of our baby girl, she told we are not made for each other I told her and explained all about consequences and convinced her to get her back. After that for again after 6 months we started fight with each other on different issues. But recently we fight and she lost control and slapped me and unfortunately in the vague of my anger I also slapped her and she again left me and went to her father house . It's been 1 month now we don't have contact each other because every time I only asked her for compromises and explain and convincing her to come back. This time I don't know what to do.thanks
Ans: Marriage counselling. Enlist at the earliest and see if you can fix matters, but you have to tackle one issue at a time. The infidelity, the inlaws, the lack of compatibility…there’s too many issues here.
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Im doing masters in Botany ....In my last semester exam.I have to support my family financially and i want to do research oriented job what should i do..
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Ultimately, the scope to earn better as a Python Django developer depends on factors such as your skills, experience, market demand, and job market conditions in your area or desired work location. By leveraging your existing experience, pursuing relevant training and certifications, and actively seeking out opportunities in the field, you can position yourself for success in your career transition to Python development.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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I am a student of CS 2nd year in a 3-tier collage how can I get an internship opportunity, I am good at C, Java, HTML,CSS and Also Swing.
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Remember to customize your application materials for each internship opportunity, highlighting relevant skills and experiences. Be persistent in your search, follow up on applications, and stay proactive in seeking out opportunities. Internships provide valuable hands-on experience, networking opportunities, and insights into the industry, so make the most of this learning opportunity to further your career goals in computer science.
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Sir, i 'm currently doing b. Sc in biotechnology NEP from University of jammu ... What can i do after this course after getting b. Sc degree... What 're its career options? ... Tell about this co
Ans: Completing a B.Sc. in biotechnology offers a range of career options in various sectors. You can work in research laboratories, biotech companies, or academic institutions conducting research in areas such as genetic engineering, molecular biology, microbiology, or pharmaceuticals. Roles may include research assistant, laboratory technician, or scientist, where you contribute to the development of new biotech products, processes, or therapies. The biopharmaceutical sector offers opportunities in drug discovery, development, manufacturing, and regulatory affairs. You can work for biopharmaceutical companies involved in developing biologics, vaccines, gene therapies, or personalized medicine. Bioprocess engineers are involved in designing and optimizing processes for the production of biopharmaceuticals, biofuels, enzymes, or other biotech products. Roles may include process engineer, manufacturing specialist, or quality control analyst, where you ensure the efficiency, safety, and quality of bioprocess operations. You can work in medical research institutions, hospitals, or clinical research organizations (CROs) conducting clinical trials, genetic testing, or epidemiological studies. Roles may include clinical research coordinator, data analyst, or research scientist, where you contribute to medical advancements and evidence-based healthcare practices. Agricultural biotechnology offers opportunities in crop improvement, plant genetics, and sustainable agriculture. You can work for agricultural research organizations, seed companies, or agribusinesses developing genetically modified crops, biopesticides, or biostimulants to enhance crop productivity and resilience. Environmental biotechnology focuses on using biological processes to address environmental challenges such as pollution, waste management, and sustainability. You can work for environmental consulting firms, government agencies, or environmental organizations developing solutions for water treatment, bioremediation, or renewable energy production. Bioinformatics involves the use of computer algorithms and databases to analyze biological data, such as DNA sequences, protein structures, or gene expression patterns. You can work for biotech companies, pharmaceutical firms, or academic research institutions developing bioinformatics tools, conducting genomic analysis, or modeling biological systems.

These are just a few examples of the diverse career paths available to graduates with a B.Sc. in biotechnology. Depending on your interests, skills, and career goals, you may choose to pursue further education, such as a master's degree or specialized certifications, to enhance your expertise and expand your career opportunities in the biotech industry. Additionally, gaining hands-on experience through internships, research projects, or industry collaborations can be valuable for transitioning into your desired career path after completing your degree.
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Shekhar Kumar  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Which job has high demand in foreign countries(other than India)? Job other than medical and engineering?
Ans: Several jobs are in high demand in foreign countries, beyond the fields of medicine and engineering. Finance professionals, such as accountants, financial analysts, investment bankers, and auditors, are sought after in various countries. Sales and marketing professionals with skills in digital marketing, social media management, market research, and customer relationship management are highly valued. Hospitality professionals, including hotel managers, event planners, tourism coordinators, and travel agents, are in demand in countries with thriving tourism industries. Qualified educators, including teachers, professors, language instructors, and educational consultants, are needed in schools, colleges, language institutes, and international education programs. Skilled tradespeople, such as electricians, plumbers, carpenters, welders, and HVAC technicians, are essential for construction, infrastructure development, and maintenance projects. Environmental scientists, sustainability consultants, renewable energy technicians, and conservation specialists are increasingly in demand as organizations seek to address environmental challenges and implement sustainable practices. 

These are just a few examples of jobs that are in high demand in foreign countries, offering opportunities for individuals with diverse skills and backgrounds. It's essential to research specific industries, countries, and job markets to identify where your skills and interests align with available opportunities and to consider factors such as language proficiency, cultural adaptability, and immigration regulations when pursuing international employment opportunities.
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Shekhar Kumar  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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I want to work in cosmetic industry. Is it better to do major in chemistry or do chemical engineering? Which has high scope? Also is their any scope in chemical engineering in upcoming years? And how is the pay like? Other than chemical engineering wh8ch has highest demand and salary?
Ans: Both chemistry and chemical engineering can offer pathways into the cosmetic industry, but they involve different focuses and skill sets. Chemistry majors typically focus on understanding the fundamental principles of chemistry, including chemical reactions, molecular structures, and the properties of substances. If you have a strong interest in studying the composition, behavior, and interactions of molecules, a major in chemistry may be a good fit for you. Chemical engineering majors, on the other hand, apply principles of chemistry, physics, and engineering to design and optimize processes for the production of chemicals, materials, and consumer products. If you're interested in applying scientific principles to solve real-world problems and develop new products or processes, chemical engineering may be more suitable. Chemistry majors may pursue careers in various industries, including pharmaceuticals, biotechnology, cosmetics, materials science, environmental science, and academia. Potential roles for chemistry majors include research scientists, laboratory technicians, quality control analysts, and regulatory specialists. Chemical engineering majors have opportunities in industries such as petrochemicals, polymers, pharmaceuticals, food processing, energy, environmental engineering, and consumer products. Chemical engineers may work in roles such as process engineers, manufacturing engineers, project managers, and consultants. Both chemistry and chemical engineering offer competitive salary potential and job prospects, but the specific opportunities may vary depending on factors such as industry demand, location, experience, and specialization. The job market for chemistry and chemical engineering may fluctuate based on economic conditions, industry trends, and technological advancements, but salaries for chemical engineering professionals are better than those for chemical majors in the cosmetic industry. In addition to chemistry and chemical engineering, there are several other fields of study that can provide pathways into the cosmetic industry, which include biology or biochemistry, pharmacy or pharmacology, materials science or engineering, biotechnology, dermatology and dermatological sciences, marketing and consumer science, and environmental science and sustainability. These are just a few examples of fields of study that can lead to careers in the cosmetic industry.

Ultimately, the best choice for you depends on your personal interests, strengths, and career aspirations. Consider researching each major, exploring potential career paths, and speaking with professionals in the field to gain insights into the opportunities available and make an informed decision that aligns with your goals.
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Shekhar Kumar  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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I worked for a private PMC company with appointment letter later after four months they were unable to pay salary and assured us by mails and what's up messages that, they are having some financial problems and requested to continue and pending salaries would be released soon and later stopped taking calls, We have resigned but they have not settled our account and now again become active. What action can be taken.
Ans: It's unfortunate that you're facing this situation with your former employer. Gather all relevant documentation related to your employment, including your appointment letter, emails, WhatsApp messages, and any other communication regarding salary payments and promises made by the company. Having a record of these interactions will be crucial for any potential legal action. Reach out to the company via email or written correspondence to remind them of the outstanding salary payments and request immediate settlement of your dues. Clearly outline the amount owed, the period for which you worked without compensation, and any promises or assurances made by the company regarding payment. If the company fails to respond or refuses to settle your dues, consider seeking legal advice from a labor lawyer or legal aid organization. They can assess your situation, advise you on your rights and options, and help you take appropriate legal action to recover your unpaid wages. Depending on the jurisdiction and labor laws in your area, you may have the option to file a formal complaint or grievance with the relevant labor department or regulatory authority. Provide them with all relevant documentation and information about your case, and they may investigate the matter and take action against the company if warranted. If you see other employees are also affected by unpaid wages or mistreatment by the company, then consider organizing collectively to amplify your voices and increase pressure on the company to resolve the issue. This could involve forming a group, sharing information and resources, and coordinating efforts to seek redress through legal channels or public advocacy. Throughout this process, it's important to protect your rights and avoid taking any actions that could jeopardize your legal standing or future claims against the company. Keep records of all communications, consult with legal experts, and be prepared to assert your rights if necessary. Stay informed about any developments related to the company, including changes in ownership, financial status, or legal proceedings. This information may affect your ability to recover unpaid wages or seek other forms of recourse.

Remember that recovering unpaid wages can be a complex and challenging process, but by taking proactive steps, seeking appropriate guidance, and advocating for your rights, you can increase your chances of obtaining a favorable outcome.
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Shekhar Kumar  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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It's been a year since I completed my engineering in mechanical engineering. I am currently unemployed. I keep sending resume through LinkedIn, indeed, monster. I only get rejection replies. I have lost confidence in everything. What i specialised and has more interest is mechanical design and simulation, but majority companies prefer experienced candidates. For my other plans to work out i initially needed a job for money as well as for experience. It's very depressing and i am kind of letting go my dreams. I feel I am very incapable of even find a job after a course. What difference do I make with those who took a year off to clear remaining arrears.
Ans: It's understandable to feel frustrated and discouraged when facing challenges in your job search, especially when you're passionate about a specific field like mechanical design and simulation. However, it's essential to remember that setbacks are a natural part of the job search process, and they don't define your worth or capabilities. While gaining work experience may seem challenging at the moment, you can focus on enhancing your skills and knowledge in mechanical design and simulation. Consider enrolling in online courses, workshops, or certification programs related to CAD software, finite element analysis (FEA), computational fluid dynamics (CFD), or other relevant areas. Reach out to professionals working in mechanical design and simulation roles through LinkedIn or industry events. Request informational interviews to learn about their career paths, experiences, and insights into the industry. Building relationships with professionals in your field can lead to job opportunities, mentorship, and valuable advice for your career. Look for internships, co-op programs, or entry-level positions that offer opportunities to gain hands-on experience in mechanical design and simulation. While these roles may not always be advertised, reaching out to companies directly or through your network can help you uncover hidden opportunities and demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment to the field.

Remember that finding a job after completing your engineering degree is a process that takes time and persistence. Stay committed to your aspirations, continue investing in your skills and knowledge, and remain open to new opportunities that come your way. With determination and perseverance, you can overcome obstacles and find success in your chosen field.
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