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Struggling With Screen Time Addiction: My 5-Year-Old's Tantrums Are Out of Control - What Can I Do?

Dr Deepa

Dr Deepa Suvarna  |156 Answers  |Ask -

Paediatrician - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Dr Deepa Suvarna is a practising paediatrician with 25 years of experience. She completed her MD in paediatrics from the TN Medical College and BYL Nair Hospital, MBBS from the King Edward Memorial Hospital and Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College and diploma in child health from the College of Physicians and Surgeons.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Hi, I’m genuinely worried about my 5-year-old son’s growing attachment to screens. What started as occasional cartoon time or a few educational videos on a tablet has now turned into a full-blown addiction. Whether it’s TV, a phone, or a tablet, he’s glued to the screen, and the moment we try to take it away, he throws massive tantrums -- screaming, crying, and sometimes even refusing to eat or sleep until he gets it back. Initially, it felt harmless. We thought a little screen time would keep him engaged, especially during meals or long car rides, and honestly, it gave us some breathing room to get things done. But now, it feels like we’ve created a monster. He’s losing interest in toys, outdoor play, and even interacting with other kids. When we suggest activities like drawing, reading, or puzzles, he dismisses them and demands the screen instead. Doctor, how do we approach this problem without triggering endless meltdowns every time we limit his screen time?

Ans: It will be difficult but you have to be firm
Tell him that he has a total time of 1 hour. To be divided as per his choice. But once the time is reached take the screen or remote away. Regardless of the tantrum , the rule should not change. It will take a week till he realises you are serious and won't back down. Take him to a children's park or organise a play time with a friend or a trip to the zoo on holidays. Start reading a book with him.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello Anu - we have a 5 year old son and he's getting out of our control these days and we don't know how to handle him. His actions and tantrums are mischievous and hurtful at the same time. Earlier he used to get scared from his mother but she's also losing control over him these days. If we scream or shout, he repeats the same things that kind of irritates us more. If we try to be reasonable with him, it's of no use - he takes us for granted. If we tell him about repercussions on his actions like a timeout or no tv time or no play time, he does not listen and at the end we give him to his crying. He also becomes uncontrollably violent at times - though he thinks it's a game, but in reality his actions literally hurt us. I know partially I am to blame as when he was younger, these violent games looked fun but now that he's older and stronger, they are not fun anymore to me or anyone in our house. I've tried to explain him, but at the end he is just 5 years old! Every morning to night it's a mountaineous challenge for us. My wife and I talk after he sleeps, decide what to do or not do from the next dat but bam! it's just the same routine every single day. Moreover my wife is pregnant with our second child so I fear this might have a bad effect on our 2nd baby as my wife remains stressed out. I know this could be every parent - but then if it happens that often, is there a solution? Can you help us?
Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

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