Hi Aruna, My Elder daughter is 15 years old and is behaving very weird. She is fully dependent on us on for her daily routines but there is zero respect towards us. She is not close to anyone in the house. She is never satisfied with what se has and always compares her with other rich kids. We lost all the happiness because of her behaviour. Please advise us how to get her sorted.

Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

Ans: We need to have specific question so that it can be answered correctly.
What kind of behavioural issues and when does she does that.What is the Frequency of these issues?

Ans: The first step is to create a safe space where she can talk about her emotions without fear of judgment or dismissal. Try to approach her with empathy and patience. Instead of telling her she is wrong, ask her to share her feelings. You can say something like, "We love you, and it hurts us to see you so distant. Can we talk about what made you feel this way? We genuinely want to understand." Avoid arguments and comparisons with her brother—focus only on her feelings.

It may take time for her to open up, especially if she has built emotional walls. If she refuses to engage, writing a heartfelt letter might help, as she can read it in her own time. Also, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist who can mediate conversations and guide the healing process.

Your daughter is at an age where independence and self-identity are important, so giving her space while keeping the lines of communication open is key. The goal is not to force a relationship but to gently rebuild trust so she feels emotionally safe with you again.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 12, a girl is at the cusp of puberty and her hormones are going to be all over the place. Her body is changing, her moods are changing...who else other than the family that can support her with a lot of love at this time.
Yes, she may seem like she has lost manners; talk softly and ask her what is it that can help her calm down?
Yes, she may seem like she has lost interest in studies; talk softly and ask her what you can do to help her?

When you give her the feeling that you understand her, she will automatically feel reassured and calmed and will get back her focus. No amount of screaming and yelling is going to help; so don't even try that path...it will only push her back more...Lot of love and support...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/