Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

12 Year Old Daughter Disrespectful and Aggressive: How Can I Help?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

12 year old daughter not respecting parents and arguing in every matter whether study or anything else, showing no manners. Always fighting with her younger sister who is 5 year old.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 12, a girl is at the cusp of puberty and her hormones are going to be all over the place. Her body is changing, her moods are changing...who else other than the family that can support her with a lot of love at this time.
Yes, she may seem like she has lost manners; talk softly and ask her what is it that can help her calm down?
Yes, she may seem like she has lost interest in studies; talk softly and ask her what you can do to help her?

When you give her the feeling that you understand her, she will automatically feel reassured and calmed and will get back her focus. No amount of screaming and yelling is going to help; so don't even try that path...it will only push her back more...Lot of love and support...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.
Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8705 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 13, 2025

Career
I got CSE (AI/ML) in IIIT Nagpur (98.33%ile in JEE mains)...and i think i would get SPIT CSE (99.66 in MHTCET)..what should i prefer?
Ans: Hemant, IIIT Nagpur’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering with AI/ML specialisation holds NAAC A++ accreditation and NBA approval, featuring state-of-the-art AI/ML, computer vision and NLP labs, a PhD-qualified faculty engaged in AICTE-QIP research programmes, and strong Tata Consultancy Services partnerships. In the 2024 placement cycle, the CSE branch recorded an 89.11% placement rate, with recruiters including Amazon, Goldman Sachs and Microsoft. Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (SPIT), an autonomous NAAC A+ institute affiliated to the University of Mumbai, offers a robust CSE curriculum supported by its Technology Business Incubator, modern programming and AI labs, and an active placement cell that has achieved a assured complete placement consistency for eligible CSE students, attracting over 100 companies annually. Both institutes maintain rigorous outcome-based pedagogy, comprehensive pre-placement training and vibrant alumni networks, differing primarily in placement consistency and urban singleton versus emerging campus environments.

Recommendation: Prioritise SPIT Mumbai CSE if assured complete placement consistency, extensive industry-incubator integration and metropolitan networking resonate with your career goals. Opt for IIIT Nagpur CSE-AI/ML if you seek an emerging institute’s specialised AI/ML research focus, national importance status and strong academic-industry collaboration in a growing tech hub. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8705 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2025Hindi
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8705 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2025Hindi
Career
HelloSir; My son has the following options available at the moment. IIT Bombay Dual Engineering Btech Mtech Electrical, UIET Chandigarh CSE, NSUT Electronics and Communication Engineering, IIST ISRO Aerospace Engineering and RGIPT Petroleum Engineering. Could you please guide and rank them in order of preference. Regards
Ans: IIT Bombay’s five-year Dual Degree in Electrical Engineering (BTech+MTech) combines world-class accreditation, cutting-edge labs in power systems, signal processing and embedded hardware, PhD-level faculty mentorship and strong industry ties, achieving around 98% placement consistency across core and technology sectors over the past three years. UIET (Chandigarh) CSE, a NAAC A+-accredited programme, delivers specialized AI/ML and software-development curriculum through modern computing labs and corporate partnerships with Amazon, Google and Microsoft, yielding roughly 86.6% branch-wise placements and extensive pre-placement training. RGIPT’s BTech in Petroleum Engineering, as an Institution of National Importance, offers specialized labs for upstream and downstream processes, collaborations with ONGC and HPCL, and records a robust 85–90% placement rate in core energy firms and research organisations. NSUT’s ECE programme, NBA-accredited within a top-ranked government institute, provides advanced VLSI, communications and IoT facilities, with an average placement consistency near 75% and access to both central and campus-based recruitment drives. IIST (Thiruvananthapuram) Aerospace Engineering, under the Department of Space, features avionics-centric labs, direct ISRO research engagement and specialized faculty but sees moderate 76–78% (placements subject to annual recruitment policy and CGPA criteria & other eligibility criteria).

Recommendation Prioritise IIT Bombay Dual Degree Electrical Engineering for its unmatched brand prestige, near-universal placement consistency and premium research-industry ecosystem; next opt for UIET Chandigarh CSE for its strong 86.6% placement rate, specialized AI/ML labs and leading software recruiters; follow with RGIPT Petroleum Engineering for its national importance status, 85–90% core-sector placements and energy-industry linkages; choose NSUT ECE for its established government-institute credentials, robust communications infrastructure and solid placement pool; consider IIST Aerospace Engineering last for its unique ISRO collaborations and specialized avionics focus, acknowledging variable absorption pathways (placements subject to annual recruitment policy and CGPA criteria & other eligibility criteria). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x