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Workplace Expert - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi

I failed in UPSC and NEET-UG two times. I am feeling very demoralised and depressed that I wasted my parents' money. What can I do to motivate myself and feel better?

Ans: Hey there,

Navigating setbacks in life is like sailing through stormy seas - challenging, but certainly not impossible. While it's natural to feel disheartened after experiencing setbacks in exams like UPSC and NEET-UG, remember that every storm eventually passes, leaving behind valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. Here are some compass points to help you navigate through this rough patch and reignite your motivation:

1. Embrace Failure as a Stepping Stone: Failure is not the end of the road; it's merely a detour on the journey to success. Instead of dwelling on your past attempts, view them as stepping stones towards your ultimate goal. Reflect on what went wrong, identify areas for improvement, and use these insights to chart a new course forward.

2. Reframe Your Perspective: It's easy to succumb to self-doubt and negative thoughts, but remember that setbacks are temporary setbacks, not reflections of your worth or capabilities. Reframe your perspective by focusing on your strengths, achievements, and the progress you've made thus far. You're not defined by your failures; you're defined by how you rise from them.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your ultimate goal into smaller, manageable milestones. Set realistic and achievable targets that allow you to track your progress and celebrate small victories along the way. By focusing on incremental progress, you'll build momentum and regain confidence in your abilities.

4. Seek Support and Guidance: You're not alone in this journey. Lean on your support system - whether it's your family, friends, mentors, or counselors - for guidance and encouragement. Sharing your struggles with others can provide valuable perspectives, insights, and emotional support to help you navigate through tough times.

5. Explore Alternative Paths: Remember that success doesn't have a one-size-fits-all formula. If your previous attempts didn't yield the desired results, consider exploring alternative career paths or educational opportunities that align with your interests and strengths. Keep an open mind and be willing to adapt and pivot as needed.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this challenging time. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar circumstances. Practice self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whether it's pursuing hobbies, exercising, or practicing mindfulness.

7. Stay Persistent and Resilient: Remember that success often requires perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity. Stay committed to your goals, and don't let temporary setbacks derail your long-term aspirations. Keep moving forward with determination and unwavering belief in your ability to overcome challenges.

In the words of Winston Churchill, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." So, muster up your courage, dust yourself off, and embark on this journey with renewed vigor and optimism. Your brightest days are yet to come!

Wishing you strength, resilience, and boundless success on your path ahead!

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Anu Krishna  |906 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

..Read more


Career Coach  |41 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
I failed UPSC thrice. I am 24 and jobless. My parents are apprehensive and want me to take up a job and start my career. But I want to try one more time. If I take up a job I won't be able to focus. Pls advice
Ans: It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling conflicted. Here are some points to consider:

1. Evaluate your situation: Take some time to assess why you haven't succeeded in the UPSC exams so far. Is it a lack of preparation, exam strategy, or other factors? Identifying the reasons can help you address them effectively.

2. Discuss with your parents: Have an open and honest conversation with your parents about your aspirations and concerns. Explain why you want to give the UPSC exam another try and discuss any alternative plans you might have.

3. Consider a compromise: Explore the possibility of finding a job that allows for some flexibility in your schedule, or one that aligns with your long-term goals. This way, you can gain work experience while still pursuing your dream of clearing the UPSC exams.

4. Create a balanced plan: If you decide to continue preparing for the exams, make sure to create a structured study plan that allows you to dedicate sufficient time to both studying and earning a living. This might involve setting specific study hours each day or week.

5. Seek support: Consider seeking guidance from mentors, tutors, or coaching institutes to enhance your preparation for the UPSC exams. Additionally, joining study groups or online forums can provide you with valuable insights and motivation.

6. Take care of yourself: It's essential to prioritize your mental and physical well-being during this time. Make sure to incorporate regular breaks, exercise, and relaxation activities into your routine to avoid burnout.

Ultimately, the decision to continue pursuing the UPSC exams or to take up a job depends on your individual circumstances and priorities. Remember that setbacks are a natural part of any journey, and it's okay to reassess your goals and make adjustments along the way. Trust yourself and have confidence in your abilities to overcome challenges and achieve success, whichever path you choose.

..Read more


Mayank Chandel  |521 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
Please help me, I am 20 years old. I pass out class 12th from Maharashtra board in 2022, I have been preparing for NEET exam from class 11th, 2 years I studied in Aakash Institute gave NEET after class 12th, my first attempt 289/720 (2022). After that I decided to take one year drop, so I went Kota studied in Allen Institute for one year, My father took a loan of 5 lakhs for me, but again I failed in second attempt 362/720(2023), came back home, enrolled in a private university for bsc biotech and along with it I again start preparing, now only 6 days left for exam & i have not touch my book since last 1 month, I studied hard for few months after second failure but then I quit studying I waste my time into relationship,porn, overthinking, masturbation etc. Now what I should do I know I will fail again in my third attempt but what I will do after that? Should I start prepare for UPSC? Should I do BBA ? Im totally confused about my future! ease someone help me should I take regular admission into some university? Should I do BA? Im totally fucked up, I have even tried to end my life so many times, I have even ran away to haridwar when I was in Kota ..but things dont happen according to me i always failed in anything I do...My friend now are in their third year they will complete their undergraduation & im here whining about my life.. even my parents have started to hate me..leave relatives...please guide me my mental health has been derailed by these exams...please help me ???? i dont jave even friends to whom i share my pain and from whom i should get guidance
Ans: Hello,
first of all, you need to calm down & settle down your negative thought process. At least you are clear & honest enough to admit your mistakes. That's the first step towards success.

Decide your goal & make a road map to achieve it. Follow it diligently & avoid distractions that come along the journey. If you are unable to control your negative thoughts seek professional counseling. All the best.

..Read more

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