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Workplace Expert - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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I failed in UPSC and NEET-UG two times. I am feeling very demoralised and depressed that I wasted my parents' money. What can I do to motivate myself and feel better?

Ans: Hey there,

Navigating setbacks in life is like sailing through stormy seas - challenging, but certainly not impossible. While it's natural to feel disheartened after experiencing setbacks in exams like UPSC and NEET-UG, remember that every storm eventually passes, leaving behind valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. Here are some compass points to help you navigate through this rough patch and reignite your motivation:

1. Embrace Failure as a Stepping Stone: Failure is not the end of the road; it's merely a detour on the journey to success. Instead of dwelling on your past attempts, view them as stepping stones towards your ultimate goal. Reflect on what went wrong, identify areas for improvement, and use these insights to chart a new course forward.

2. Reframe Your Perspective: It's easy to succumb to self-doubt and negative thoughts, but remember that setbacks are temporary setbacks, not reflections of your worth or capabilities. Reframe your perspective by focusing on your strengths, achievements, and the progress you've made thus far. You're not defined by your failures; you're defined by how you rise from them.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your ultimate goal into smaller, manageable milestones. Set realistic and achievable targets that allow you to track your progress and celebrate small victories along the way. By focusing on incremental progress, you'll build momentum and regain confidence in your abilities.

4. Seek Support and Guidance: You're not alone in this journey. Lean on your support system - whether it's your family, friends, mentors, or counselors - for guidance and encouragement. Sharing your struggles with others can provide valuable perspectives, insights, and emotional support to help you navigate through tough times.

5. Explore Alternative Paths: Remember that success doesn't have a one-size-fits-all formula. If your previous attempts didn't yield the desired results, consider exploring alternative career paths or educational opportunities that align with your interests and strengths. Keep an open mind and be willing to adapt and pivot as needed.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this challenging time. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar circumstances. Practice self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whether it's pursuing hobbies, exercising, or practicing mindfulness.

7. Stay Persistent and Resilient: Remember that success often requires perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity. Stay committed to your goals, and don't let temporary setbacks derail your long-term aspirations. Keep moving forward with determination and unwavering belief in your ability to overcome challenges.

In the words of Winston Churchill, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." So, muster up your courage, dust yourself off, and embark on this journey with renewed vigor and optimism. Your brightest days are yet to come!

Wishing you strength, resilience, and boundless success on your path ahead!
Career

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I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

..Read more

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Hi mam i give neet with partial drop three times i always wanted to be a doctor in my whole family my brother and sister get their desired colleges i am not jealous of them but i sometimes feel neglected then i worked hard on my dreams as at my third attempt as i give at three months before it my final exam of college of other subject start i can't even quit that because i fear my family disappointment then i didn't able to give my 100 fully that makes me satisfied i feel so depressed that i didn't have courage to check marks while everyone is celebrating their success i feel lost can't i feel complete one good dream for myself all my family support me to do whatever you want but i can't decide i feel like tragiec the faith all i have put in myself feel like useless i crave to be success do something for my own but i can't known that such thing occur unexpectedly i feel depressed and my family think i am just doing because to gain their attention ,i keep unnessary exceptions from me ,is it crime to keep big dream althought i worked hard but it didn't take outi feel like lost all how can I get up and achieve something feel proud of myself
Ans: Dear Yadnya,
Dream Big and never be afraid to Fail. Most often, we are told that failure is not an option. Failure when accepted as a part of life, then loses power over us.
1. Never become attached to the outcome so that fear does not play in your mind
2. Understand that We win some and Lose some and losing does not mean all is lost
3. Draw a clear plan to achieve your goal
4. Work on your state of mind for optimum performance
5. Develop hobbies outside of studies that can support you have a positive outlook on a daily basis
6. Family and friends are your best support system, so talk to them regularly about your challenges to enable them to support you

Smile and dream big again; tomorrow is another new day.

All the best!

..Read more

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