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33-Year-Old Mom in Tech: Feeling Trapped and Overwhelmed - What Direction?

Maxim Emmanuel | Answer |Ask -Follow

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Maxim Emmanuel is the marketing director of Maxwill Zeus Expositions.
An alumnus of the Xavier Institute of Management and Research, Mumbai, Maxim has over 30 years of experience in training young professionals and corporate organisations on how to improve soft skills and build interpersonal relationships through effective communication.
He also works with students and job aspirants offering career guidance, preparing them for job interviews and group discussions and teaching them how to make effective presentations.... more

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi

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Hi, I am a 33 year old female. I am working in IT industry. I started my career with IT companies but in between I pursued my mtech and started teching. As the pay was very low in private colleges, after a 5 year gap I had resumed my IT job with substantial seniority cuts. Now I am a mother to a 3year old and there is immense work pressure at my job. I have got helping hand but some days I don't get to see my child. Plus I don't have enough time to upskill or search for career growth options. I never wanted to rejoin IT, which makes me sad everyday. How do I give my life a better direction.

Ans: Don't jump from frying pan to fire.

I understand the quagmire you are in the mother and the professional.

There's lot to assist you.!

If you do need further professional advice happy to assist
https://m.me/maxim.emmanuel.2024

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Anu Krishna |1590 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2022

Question by SS - Mar 17, 2022Hindi

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Hi Anu, I am a 38 YO woman. Personal issues - None. A loving and doting husband and a 4 yo lovely daughter comprises my immediate family. Relations with parents and in-laws are also smooth.Professional issues - Too many. I never imagined myself to be where I currently am. I have never had a stable career nor a very good salary. I have had a good education but have not been able to make a professional mark for myself. I was ambitious and confident but now feel that everything is too overwhelming for me to achieve. I had dreams but probably never the conviction. For a long time I kept blaming the family for ruining my career but somewhere deep within I know that I responsible for whatever has happened in my life. Today when I decide to do only what I wish to do or pursue, I find myself at a loss on account of lack of confidence to achieve it. Others around me seem to be more confident of my abilities and intelligence than me. I also feel that it is too late now and instead of myself, I should focus on making my daughter's life but somewhere I am still unsettled. I want to have a good, stable and a well earning career, even if it is for the next 10 or 15 years of my life. I have no personal complaints but professionally, I do not want to die without having the satisfaction of having lived a good professional life as well. It matters a lot to me, not for anyone's sake but my own.I am working right now but that is not my future. I have been able to manage jobs at different points of time in different industries but never a career. I haven't lost hope but I simply know that my life isn't right.

Ans:

Dear SS,

Firstly, ask yourself:

1. What will a job/career bring to me?

2. What is it that I feel a lack of when I am devoted into my personal life?

3. Am I trying to search for an identity through a career?

These questions will give you a clear picture of what is going on in your mind.

Most often, we crave something and declare the path but don’t realize that we are actually embarking on the wrong journey; it’s also possible what we are searching for already exists with us, but we are not able to see it or feel it.

For example: If you are searching for your identity that already is with you and you have told yourself that only a job/career could give that to you, it may so happen that every job that you are in will stress you to create an identity which you already have. You are on the cusp of changes as your children are growing…

Sit down with a pen and paper and clearly outline what you want to create in your life and WHY!

When this is clear, you will be able to take the first confident step and you will do it for yourself and not prove anything to anyone. It becomes only about your space and how you can make it beautiful.

2022 brings in a lot of hope for everyone and you as well. Chin up and plunge into a confident self and get ahead. All the best!

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