Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Stuck in a rut at 48, no career growth, feeling lost – Can I turn things around?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 48 years old married and my wife daughter are staying away from 10+years in same city i am completely surviving on debt plus stuck to one job from last 14+ years no increment not a high paid job salary only 35,000 i have no goals nor i feel like achieving anything with no buddy friends really not able to understand my situation following same wfh routine no changes please guide

Ans: The first step towards change is acknowledging that even though you feel stuck, you are not powerless. Small shifts in your routine can create momentum. It could be as simple as stepping out for a walk, reconnecting with an old friend, learning a new skill, or exploring opportunities outside your current job. The goal is to break the monotony and introduce something new into your life.

Emotionally, you need to ask yourself what you truly want. Do you want to work on your marriage, or is it time to redefine what happiness looks like for you? Do you want to stay in your job, or is it time to take a risk for something better? It’s okay to not have all the answers right away, but avoiding these questions will only prolong the cycle.

Right now, your life is running on autopilot. The moment you decide to take control, even in the smallest way, things will start shifting. You don’t have to fix everything at once, but you do have to start somewhere. Your situation is not permanent, and neither is this feeling. The key is to take one step forward, no matter how small, and then another. Change will follow.
Asked on - Mar 22, 2025 | Answered on Apr 14, 2025
Listen
Main problem for me in my house i stay in far away place connected with city but not a proper city nor i have funds to suffice for mr only thing is that to get seperated and walk away from this relation all the doors are closed
Ans: Let me tell you something gently and with complete honesty—you still have choices, even if right now they feel small or out of reach. You may not be able to walk away immediately, but you can begin to prepare yourself—emotionally, mentally, and eventually financially. You don’t need to have all the answers or resources at once. You only need to believe that you deserve peace, that you deserve dignity, and that you deserve a second chance at a life where you're not just surviving.

Start by asking yourself: What small, realistic step can I take to feel a little more in control again? Maybe it's revisiting a skill you had, trying for a part-time freelance role, or even just building a tiny network of support—someone you can talk to once a week, even if it’s online. It might take time, but slowly, you will begin to find your footing.

Even in the darkest of times, when everything seems lost, there is always a way forward—it just may not be visible yet. Don’t underestimate your strength. You’ve survived everything up until now, and that is not nothing. That means you are strong, even if you don’t feel it today.

You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story.

You don't have to do it all at once. You just need to believe that you can.
Asked on - Apr 17, 2025 | Answered on Apr 19, 2025
Listen
Please do help or consult for the same
Ans: you have to help yourself i have already replied in detail start making small goals for yourself and dont let any excuse come in way to execute it

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Maam sir good morn.I m K.S .i am.the sole bread earner of my.family .i m 52 and do.not have a job. I m not a spend thrift but due to lot of loans i have taken for education etc i m totally stressed up. I.get depressed and do not have the motivation to move ahead in life. I want to clear up all my dues and i fight day in and day out to find a job but to.no success. Finance are getting.lesser.. I m on the verge of breakdown. Plz help.
Ans: Dear KS,
First things first. A lot of decisions have gone wrong. It cannot be erased, but certainly you must find a way of recovering from it.
Yes, it is highly disheartening, but once you decide that you want to be in a better place, you have to take certain actions to reach that better place.
So, time to quit being upset and taking firm actions on what to do next to get out of this situation that you are in.
Seek the help of someone within your family or friends circle who is strong with their finances and managing their monies well. Of course, they must be someone you trust as well. Share everything with them (you need the help, so kindly be truthful and honest with them).
Let them put together a plan of action that manages your existing financial resources and inbound channels and match that with all the payments and debts.
Allow them to 'advise' you as you need this strong advice right now. Discuss what's possible and what's not and they will come up with something that is close to perfect.
Once, you start with the first small baby step. things start to look up. Even clearing a small debt will take a load off your chest. So, get into that action mode NOW. And yes, do promise yourself that this situation is teaching you a lesson on how to be financially prudent and that you will learn from it.

Best wishes and look bright and happy NOW!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |353 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Career
Sir I am feeling very uncertain about my career, i am very much interested in medical field, i gave my HS in 2024, this is my 1st drop for neet, i tried a lot but due to family issues and negativity i couldnot do well, neet is jst after 5days , but my syllabus not yet done, mock test are not good, but still i want to pursue medical field ans study in a government medical college, i know where my preparation was lagging{my class 11 12 were weak, those who taught me they all jst told m,e "u cant do anything " and leave and never used to teach properly but i did everything by my own , and then took drop but i how to prepare in a coaching class i didnt know all network isuues for almost 6months ,but i keep on doing and now i am standing in a uncertain phase where i still want to become a doctor, i dont have anproblem in studying those again but the problem is what others will say , its like a fear, as even though my parents enrolled in a coaching online previous year but they also sometimes used to say that i should have also enrolled i a college, its a fear, so my question is this path really for me? should i take a partial drop and go for neet 2026 too, {dob: 14/10/2005}.....i feel like hopeless , but still want to follow my dreams, is this possible?
Ans: Hi,

Before I address your query, please avoid mentioning your date of birth on social media; it's not necessary at this point. However, I noticed that some other details are missing.

In addition to the educational concerns, it seems like you may have a bit of a psychological issue in that you tend to worry excessively about others. This mentality is quite common in our country. Prior to the NEET exam, entry into the medical field, specifically for MBBS and BDS, was mainly reserved for aspirants with high marks. Additionally, those with significant wealth could gain admission through management quotas or at times via NRI quotas. However, the situation has changed completely after the introduction of NEET.

As you know, the major advantage of NEET is that the marks aspirants score in their HSC examinations are now less relevant. Candidates from any part of the country, of any category or state, and even those taking the exam for a second time can attempt NEET, regardless of their HSC performance. If aspirants have talent, they can succeed in NEET, which provides a standardized syllabus across the nation. So, even if you are currently struggling with your HSC studies, you can still perform well on the NEET.

Apart from percentile scores, various factors will influence admission, including community status, creamy or non-creamy layer, physical challenges, and more.

Therefore, NEET is the best solution for aspirants, and you can take the exam as many times as you need.

There are no barriers to preparing for the exam, so please go ahead.

You mentioned that you feel weak in the subject and have difficulty concentrating. I suggest starting yoga and meditation. By practicing these, you'll be able to relieve stress and work towards achieving your goals.

Regarding your desire to enter the medical field (I believe you want to become a doctor), is that correct?

If so, in addition to MBBS, there are other medical courses known as Indian Medicine, including BAMS, BHMS, BSMS, and BNYS. If you find MBBS challenging, consider focusing on these options as well. Many people have started to embrace Indian medicine after the COVID pandemic, so it’s not a problem at all.

Prepare for NEET 2025, analyze your situation, and send your details to the Rediffguru. We can discuss this further.

Wishing you all the best!
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1197 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Money
We are a Private Limited Company with an employee strength of 60, and we strictly follow all PF rules. As per the applicable salary criteria, we contribute to the Provident Fund wherever required. Recently, we discovered that an employee who joined our company two years ago has an existing UAN linked to their Aadhaar. However, at the time of joining, the employee declared in Form 11 that they did not have a PF account. Based on this declaration, we did not contribute to their PF account. Now, the employee states that they were unaware of their PF account, and the UAN linked to their Aadhaar is currently inactive. Furthermore, they do not wish to activate their PF account. Given this situation, should we present Form 11 as valid proof for non-contribution, or are there any corrective actions required to comply with PF regulations? Kindly guide us on the appropriate steps to take in this matter.
Ans: Hello;

If the organisation is such that EPFO laws are applicable and if employee 's salary is as per the threshold given by EPFO (15 K basic +DA) then you don't have an option to avoid EPF.

The EPFO commissioner may issue your organisation a show cause notice as to why the form-11 submitted by the employee was not scrutinized thoroughly when it was submitted.

You may furnish joint declaration in the prescribed format to correct the mistake in form 11 and deposit all employer employee contributions till date with penalty as decided by the EPF Commissioner.

Actually such willful suppression of facts by the employee, which bring the employer into legal issues, deserves termination.

Seek advice from a lawyer specializing in labour and EPF laws, if required.

Best wishes;

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x