Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Stuck in a rut at 48, no career growth, feeling lost – Can I turn things around?

Kanchan Rai |566 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I am 48 years old married and my wife daughter are staying away from 10+years in same city i am completely surviving on debt plus stuck to one job from last 14+ years no increment not a high paid job salary only 35,000 i have no goals nor i feel like achieving anything with no buddy friends really not able to understand my situation following same wfh routine no changes please guide

Ans: The first step towards change is acknowledging that even though you feel stuck, you are not powerless. Small shifts in your routine can create momentum. It could be as simple as stepping out for a walk, reconnecting with an old friend, learning a new skill, or exploring opportunities outside your current job. The goal is to break the monotony and introduce something new into your life.

Emotionally, you need to ask yourself what you truly want. Do you want to work on your marriage, or is it time to redefine what happiness looks like for you? Do you want to stay in your job, or is it time to take a risk for something better? It’s okay to not have all the answers right away, but avoiding these questions will only prolong the cycle.

Right now, your life is running on autopilot. The moment you decide to take control, even in the smallest way, things will start shifting. You don’t have to fix everything at once, but you do have to start somewhere. Your situation is not permanent, and neither is this feeling. The key is to take one step forward, no matter how small, and then another. Change will follow.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2023

Question by Sameer - Mar 28, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Maam sir good morn.I m K.S .i am.the sole bread earner of my.family .i m 52 and do.not have a job. I m not a spend thrift but due to lot of loans i have taken for education etc i m totally stressed up. I.get depressed and do not have the motivation to move ahead in life. I want to clear up all my dues and i fight day in and day out to find a job but to.no success. Finance are getting.lesser.. I m on the verge of breakdown. Plz help.

Ans: Dear KS,
First things first. A lot of decisions have gone wrong. It cannot be erased, but certainly you must find a way of recovering from it.
Yes, it is highly disheartening, but once you decide that you want to be in a better place, you have to take certain actions to reach that better place.
So, time to quit being upset and taking firm actions on what to do next to get out of this situation that you are in.
Seek the help of someone within your family or friends circle who is strong with their finances and managing their monies well. Of course, they must be someone you trust as well. Share everything with them (you need the help, so kindly be truthful and honest with them).
Let them put together a plan of action that manages your existing financial resources and inbound channels and match that with all the payments and debts.
Allow them to 'advise' you as you need this strong advice right now. Discuss what's possible and what's not and they will come up with something that is close to perfect.
Once, you start with the first small baby step. things start to look up. Even clearing a small debt will take a load off your chest. So, get into that action mode NOW. And yes, do promise yourself that this situation is teaching you a lesson on how to be financially prudent and that you will learn from it.

Best wishes and look bright and happy NOW!

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi i am 47 years old married guy staying with my old age parents living separately from my wife daughter and i am undergoing lots of Stress, Depression following boring routine like WFH,Watching TV & Sleep nor i have bank balance, Low salary 35000 pm and completely surviving on PL and CC financially please guide me out how to overcome all this

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's not easy being away from your family. The possible cause for your health issues can be loneliness...Can you at least start reconnecting with your daughter, other family members? What about close friends?
Once you are surrounded by people who care for you, you will find better focus in life and at work. This will help you achieving work goals as well. Do focus on your physical health by exercising regularly too.
Also, join a social circle that is filled with people who are like-minded and have similar interests as you. This will ensure that your mind is focused on positive things happening.
A small change in the way you think and do things can bring about better results.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi I m 42 Years.old..i live wirh my wife and 8 year old Daughter ..I run A Recruitments business and Stock brokin business..My wifes works at Senior positon At a Bank..Till Covid all was Doin Good..After Covid My Business till today has not been Good..Now its reach to Bottom where i m Fully Broken..And Too much into Depression ..I Cant do A Job.as at this Age i m not getting A Job..We had planned after certain Time My Wife wil leave Job..but now i m not able to tell to To Leave Job..As my Into Lots of Financial Stress..i have Lived Life Kingsize wherein money is never problen ..but now i m too strssed..Getting Sucidal thoughts too But Seeing My Daugher Face i CNt take that Step...please Advicd me

Ans: I think you need professional help and you shouldn’t be ashamed to seek it. You’re in a depression and obviously not in a mentally healthy space, which is also probably why you are unable to get your business back on its feet. Look, your wife still has a job. Sort yourself out. Take some time to heal from the difficult times you’ve faced. Things will get better. Be strong for the sake of your family — they’re worth it!

Latest Questions

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025Hindi

Health

We are couple with 1 child. However, struggling with schools for my 11 year old who has autism, can talk and severe adhd. Schools are saying that they cannot enrol him yet due to behaviour and the fact that he wont listen to anyone and behave badly. He is smart in academics but likes to do things as he wishes creating issues. he struggles with peer communication and sitting in one place and will slouch and fall from the chair. Are there any options that we can look at. As his IQ is normal we feel he will struggle in a special school as well.

Ans: I understand how difficult and frustrating this situation must be for you as parents. Your child is bright and capable, but his challenges with behavior, attention, and sitting still are making school enrollment tough. Finding the right environment that supports both his academic strengths and his needs is essential. Inclusive schools with special education support or Montessori-style learning environments may offer a more flexible and understanding approach. Occupational therapy can help increase his sitting tolerance, posture, and focus, while behavioral therapy can support emotional regulation and social interactions. You might also consider discussing the option of a shadow teacher with school staff, as one-on-one assistance in a classroom can make a big difference. In case you don't get access to an occupational therapist, approach a physiotherapist with an understanding of Sensory Integration, as they can also help with improving his body awareness and tolerance for sitting. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, your child can thrive. I encourage you to connect with a special educator or developmental therapist to explore the best options for him. I request you to be strong and determined. for your son.

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi

Sir does doing soleus push up exercise daily bring down blood gulcose.

Ans: Yes, doing soleus push-ups daily may help in lowering blood glucose levels. Recent research suggests that activating the soleus muscle (the deeper calf muscle) through slow, repeated contractions can significantly improve glucose metabolism. This happens because the soleus muscle efficiently utilizes blood sugar and fat for energy without heavily relying on insulin, making it beneficial for blood sugar regulation.

A study by David Elek et al., titled *"The effects of soleus push-up on glucose tolerance among individuals with prediabetes ([DOI: 10.1101/2024.11.14.623602](https://doi.org/10.1101/2024.11.14.623602)), provides further insights into this mechanism. Their research highlights how engaging the soleus muscle in low-intensity contractions can play a role in managing glucose levels, particularly in individuals with prediabetes.

However, while soleus push-ups can help manage glucose levels, they should be combined with a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and proper diabetes management. If you have diabetes or blood sugar concerns, it’s best to track your glucose levels and discuss any new exercise routine with a physiotherapist or healthcare provider to ensure it fits your overall health plan.

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by RUPESH - Feb 18, 2025Hindi

I have been suffering from this problem for over 20 years. Most of the time, I experience pain in my body, and whenever I am in front of my boss and he asks me anything, I get extremely nervous and my body feels weak and drained all the time.

Ans: Hello Mr. Rupesh . As a Physiotherapist I would suggest relaxation exercises and meditation . However you can also consult a psychologist.

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Health

Hello sir, I'm 52 years lady with active lifestyle..by profession I m doctor..my weight is 92 kg..will try lot's of things to reduce my weight as regularly 45 minutes walk,strength and cardio exercises and try to maintain balance diet but result is zero..infact i gain weight day by day...plz help me...thanks in advance ????????

Ans: Thank you for reaching out. Since you have an active lifestyle but are experiencing weight gain despite regular exercise and a balanced diet, there may be underlying factors affecting your metabolism. Hormonal imbalances (like thyroid issues or insulin resistance), stress, poor sleep, or even undereating leading to metabolic slowdown could be contributing to the issue. It would be helpful to get your thyroid, insulin, and cortisol levels checked to rule out any medical reasons. Additionally, focusing on strength training over excessive cardio, tracking your calorie intake accurately, and ensuring enough protein intake can help optimize fat loss. Consider consulting a nutritionist or endocrinologist for a personalized approach. A physiotherapist can also guide you on the best exercise strategies to improve metabolism. Don’t lose hope—small adjustments can make a big difference!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by Arijit - Jan 01, 2025Hindi

Suppose a person weighing 70 kg walks at a speed of 2km per hour. Will he/she lose carbohydrates or fat or both?

Ans: Dear Mr. Arjit .Thank you for your question. When a person weighing 70 kg walks at a slow pace of 2 km per hour, the body primarily uses fat as the main energy source. Since this is a low-intensity activity, oxygen is readily available, allowing fat to be burned efficiently. Carbohydrates are used more during higher-intensity activities, such as brisk walking or running. While a small amount of carbohydrates may be utilized, the majority of energy comes from fat metabolism. To improve endurance and optimize fat burning, incorporating brisk walking, strength training, or interval exercises can be beneficial. For a personalized exercise plan based on fitness goals, I recommend visiting a nearby physiotherapist for proper guidance. Wishing you good health and fitness!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2025Hindi

Health

Sir how to improve my core strength? Any exercises that you would recommend? I am 34

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir. Appreciate you reach out to improve core strength as many people do neglect core muscle strength. A strong core is essential for better posture, stability, and overall fitness. To strengthen your core, start with a plank, where you lift your body onto your forearms and toes, keeping your back straight and holding the position for 30-60 seconds. Next, try the bird-dog by getting on all fours, stretching one arm forward and the opposite leg backward, holding for a few seconds, and switching sides. The dead bug is another great exercise—lie on your back with arms and legs raised, then slowly lower one arm and the opposite leg before switching. For lower back and glute activation, perform glute bridges by lying on your back with knees bent, lifting your hips up, and lowering them slowly. Russian twists improve oblique strength; sit with bent knees, lean back slightly, and twist your torso side to side. Leg raises help target the lower abs—lie flat, lift both legs straight up, and lower them without touching the ground. Lastly, try the hollow body hold by lying on your back, lifting your shoulders and legs slightly off the ground, and holding the position while keeping your core engaged. Perform these exercises 3-4 times a week for better core strength and stability. Wishing you success in building a strong core!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi

Health

My father had a spine surgery in 2019. Since then he occasionally experiences lower back pain, especially if he travels or sits for long hours. He does some stretching and cardio. Can you suggest some exercises to help him strengthen his back?

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir . Thank you for your query. Since your father has a history of spine surgery, his lower back pain may be related to slip disc or spinal canal stenosis, especially after prolonged sitting or travel. To strengthen his back safely, he can try gentle core and back exercises such as pelvic tilts, bridges, and bird-dog to improve stability. Seated lumbar extensions and gentle spinal decompression (lying on his back with knees bent) can help relieve pressure. Stretching the hamstrings and hip flexors will also reduce strain on his lower back. However, he should avoid high-impact activities, deep forward bending, and heavy lifting. Since his condition requires personalized care, I strongly recommend visiting a nearby physiotherapist for a proper assessment and a tailored exercise plan. Wishing him a quick recovery!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi

I have noticed a bit of stiffness and occasional pain in my hips, especially if I am sitting for long periods at work. I am 32, single and I have a sedentary banking job. I travel about 2 to 3 hours a day by public transport. I am not sure how to manage my schedule and find time for some workout. Can you suggest some tips and exercises that can help reduce pain and improve my health and flexibility?

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir .Thank you for your query. Your hip stiffness and occasional pain are likely due to prolonged sitting during work and commuting. To reduce discomfort, maintain proper posture, take breaks every 30-45 minutes, and use lumbar support. Incorporate simple stretches like seated figure-four, hip flexor stretch, and deep squat hold to improve flexibility. Strengthening exercises such as glute bridges and clamshells can provide better hip stability. Whenever possible, stand during your commute and walk around during breaks to avoid prolonged sitting. If the pain persists or worsens, visit a physiotherapist for a proper assessment and personalized treatment plan. Wishing you a quick recovery!

Radheshyam Zanwar |1473 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by ASMIT - Mar 22, 2025Hindi

I got 96.5 percentile in JEE Mains Session 1 (SC). West Bengal home state. I have a interest in sports and would like to go with some electronics related branch. Which NIT & branch combination would be the best choice for me. I was thinking about NITR EIE

Ans: Hello Asmit.
There are chances to get a set in NITs. If you are interested in sports, then choose computer computer-related branch or IT branch to have flexibility in your studies. Hope, you may be admitted to NIT Rauekela with the preferred branch. Bst of luck to you.
Follow me if you like the reply.
Radheshyam

Yogendra Arora |12 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by Amit - Mar 13, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello, I am a salaried individual posted in Gurgaon hailing from Mumbai. Can I claim HRA for both Gurgaon and Mumbai, as my daughter aged 19 is staying in Mumbai and I am paying rent for both the locations. My annual Basic is 17.8 lacs and HRA is 10.65 lacs.

Ans: hi,
Yes Income Tax department has allowed deduction of HRA for 2 eligible houses provided you should have proper records for validation like rent receipts, actual payment details etc.
And eligible amount of HRA calculation is based on your Rent paid, Basic Salary, period of tenancy & Location of houses.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x