Thanks for sparing some Time to Answer my Question, Anu Ma'am... Now my Husband has returned from Thailand after Enjoying his 'Solo Honeymoon'. Now he seems quite changed. He seems to have enjoyed some of the Best Days of his Life, during his Solo Honeymoon in Thailand. He has openly admitted (without any Guilt or Shame) that he had just let go of his Inhibitions & enjoyed having lots of Sex with several Women, over the week. Since his Teens, he had many Sexual Fantasies, which he said that he'd been saving to Enjoy along with his Life Partner, but after getting disappointed due to my Lack of Virginity, he went on to Fulfill all his Sexual Fantasies by 'Hiring' different Women, spending lots of Money on them. He doesn't feel that he has Cheated on me. He says that he did all that to 'Learn & Practice' the 'Art of Love-making' I'm order to give me Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction. He was Under-confident that he may not be able to satisfy me as I had a lot of Sexual Experience, while he was a Virgin, when we got Married. Now he feels that we both are 'Even' and he's Willing to "Forgive & Forget the Past" & work on our Marriage, if I'm also willing to, otherwise, he has no problem with going for a Divorce. Now, the Ball is in my Court & I'm in Dilemma, whether I should Accept his 'Tit for Tat' Attitude & go ahead with working on our Marriage, Believing that we both are Even now? I am still afraid of the Familial, Societal, Legal & Financial consequences, which would arise, in case of Divorce. In this situation what, do you think, is a better option? Reconciliation or Separation? (P.S: He got himself Tested & fortunately, he has not been infected with any Sexually Transmitted Diseases, as he'd always taken Care to use Protection, even while engaging in his Wildest Sexual Fantasies)

&nbsp;हाय अनु मैम,&nbsp;मेरी शादी को साढ़े चार साल हो गए हैं और मेरी एक 3 साल की बेटी है। <br />यह एक अरेंज मैरिज थी और परिवार पहले से परिचित नहीं थे।</strong><br /><strong>मेरे पति ने मेरी डिलीवरी के बाद से मेरे प्रति बहुत अशिष्ट व्यवहार करना शुरू कर दिया। <br />उसने मौखिक रूप से मेरे साथ बहुत दुर्व्यवहार किया और अंततः मुझे लगा कि कुछ ठीक नहीं है और मैंने अपने माता-पिता को बताया कि मैं शादी के तीन साल बाद उसके साथ नहीं रह सकती।</strong><br / ><strong>मेरे माता-पिता ने मेरा समर्थन किया और एक साल तक मेरी बेटी और मेरी देखभाल की, जिसके बाद मेरे पति के परिवार ने मुझे उनके साथ वापस रहने के लिए मना लिया। </strong><br /><strong>जब मैं उसके पास वापस आई तो मुझे एहसास हुआ कि वह मेरी डिलीवरी से पहले से ही अपने सहकर्मी के साथ मिलकर मुझे धोखा दे रहा है। <br />जब मैंने उसकी जानकारी के बिना मामले की आगे जांच की, तो मुझे पता चला कि वह शादी से पहले 10 साल तक बहुपत्नी था। और इसने मुझे हिलाकर रख दिया. </strong><br /><strong>मुझे यह भी पता चला कि वह काम के घंटों के बाद अपनी एक महिला मित्र से मिल रहा है, मुझसे झूठ बोल रहा है। वह मुझसे झूठ बोलता था कि वह काम के सिलसिले में बाहर जा रहा है और अपनी दूसरी महिला मित्र से हर 2-3 दिन में एक बार एक-एक घंटे के लिए फोन पर बात करता था।</strong><br /><strong>वह हर दिन पोर्न देखता है। पुनः आरंभ करने के 3 महीने के भीतर ही यह ठंडा हो गया।</strong><br /><strong>मैं उसके साथ रहकर खुश नहीं था। मुझे पता था कि वह अभी भी मुझे धोखा दे रहा है, लेकिन जब मैंने उसका सामना किया तो उसने कभी ऐसा नहीं किया। ;<strong>आखिरकार, अपनी हताशा से बाहर आकर, उसने हमारी बेटी के सामने मुझ पर शारीरिक हमला किया, मेरा गला घोंटने की कोशिश की, लेकिन भगवान की कृपा से मैं खुद को बचा सकी।</strong><br />< मजबूत>उस दिन, 30 अगस्त 2021, मैंने अपनी बेटी के साथ वह जगह छोड़ दी और अपने माता-पिता के पास वापस आ गई।</strong><br /><strong>मैंने उसके खिलाफ घरेलू उत्पीड़न की शिकायत दर्ज कराई, जिसके लिए हम अब परामर्श सत्र में भाग ले रहे हैं। जल्द ही उसके खिलाफ एफआईआर दर्ज करने का मन बना लिया है। मजबूत>लेकिन जब भी वे विचार मेरे मन में आते हैं तो मुझे अब भी बहुत पीड़ा होती है। </strong><br /><strong>क्या कोई रास्ता है जहां मैं अपने अतीत के साथ शांति स्थापित कर सकता हूं?</strong></p>

प्रिय अनु,&nbsp;मैं आपके साथ अपने वैवाहिक जीवन की एक समस्या के बारे में चर्चा करना चाहता हूं।</p> <p>मैंने और मेरे पति ने 21 साल पहले प्रेम विवाह किया था।</p> <p>हमारी शादी से पहले भी मेरे पति के कई रिश्ते और अफेयर थे, लेकिन चूंकि वह हर चीज के बारे में बहुत सच्चे थे और उन्होंने चीजों को बदलने का वादा किया था, इसलिए हमने शादी कर ली।</p> <p>हालाँकि, हमारा परिवार खुशहाल था और हमारे दो बड़े बच्चे भी हैं, बाहर से सब कुछ ठीक लगता है। लेकिन असल में, मेरे पति के हमारी शादी के बाद भी कई अफेयर रहे हैं।</p> <p>उसने अपने आस-पास की महिलाओं को प्रभावित करने की अपनी आदत कभी नहीं छोड़ी, चाहे वह उसकी सहकर्मी हों या कुछ कॉमन दोस्त आदि। और मैं हमेशा उसके जीवन में किसी न किसी महिला से मिलता रहता हूं।</p> <p>कुछ मामले इतने गंभीर रहे कि वे आगे बढ़े और दिन-रात एक साथ बिताने लगे।</p> <p>हर बार, जब मुझे किसी अफेयर का पता चलता है, तो वह अपनी गलती स्वीकार करता है और मुझे आगे बढ़ने के लिए कहता है, लेकिन वह कभी भी अपनी गलतियों को सुधारने में विश्वास नहीं करता है और या तो अफेयर जारी रखता है या नया साथी ढूंढ लेता है।</p> <p>मैंने उस पर से पूरा भरोसा खो दिया है, लेकिन चूंकि मैं कमाता नहीं हूं और मेरे दो बड़े बच्चे हैं और मैं उससे बहुत प्यार करता हूं, इसलिए अलग होने के बारे में सोच भी नहीं सकता।</p> <p>हालाँकि मैंने उसका सामना करने की कोशिश की है लेकिन वह हमेशा गुस्सा हो जाता है और हमारे पारिवारिक जीवन को खराब करने और आगे न बढ़ने के लिए मुझ पर आरोप लगाता है।</p> <p>यह भी स्वीकार करना चाहूंगा कि वह पारिवारिक मामलों में बहुत सहयोगी है, अपने परिवार से बहुत प्यार करता है, अपने काम और अपने बच्चों के प्रति बहुत समर्पित है, वह लोगों के प्रति बहुत सहानुभूति रखता है, सभी की मदद करता है लेकिन उसे अपनी जगह की जरूरत है भी.</p> <p>मैं पूरी तरह असमंजस में हूं कि मुझे क्या करना चाहिए।</p> <p>मैं किसी भी चीज़ के लिए उस पर भरोसा नहीं कर पाता और हम छोटी-छोटी बातों पर बहस करते रहते हैं।</p> <p>आशा है आप मुझे उत्तर देंगे। धन्यवाद.</p>

My Husband had recently gone for a Business Trip to Thailand, along with his Colleagues. After he returned, accidentally, I found out some Reports of STD Tests (Thankfully, Negative). But when I interrogated his Colleagues (without my Husband's knowledge), I found out some shocking things. When in Thailand, my Husband & his Male Colleagues had Partied like Bachelors going to Beaches, Massage Parlours, Bars, Pubs & even Strip Clubs, indulging in many Sexual Encounters, to fulfill their kinky fantasies. I was crying when I confronted my Husband about this. He doesn't even seem to feel any Guilt & casually admitted that he was just 'enjoying' for some days. But he promised that he wouldn't do it again, if it is Hurting me. My Husband has a Huge Appetite for Sex & we both used to enjoy a blissful Sex Life for a couple of years after our Marriage, until my Pregnancy. I understand that he might have been Sexually Frustrated while my Body was not available to Sexually entertain him, during the course of Pregnancy & soon after Childbirth. But I never expected that he would resort to something so Dirty, just to satisfy his carnal urges. Should this be counted as 'Cheating' or not? He doesn't even feel that he'd 'Cheated' on me & he's also trying to convince me that this isn't really 'Cheating'. We are New Parents of a Toddler Boy & I'm completely dependent upon him for a while, this is the Main Reason, which is preventing me from Divorcing him, otherwise, I wouldn't tolerate something like this. Now I don't understand how to proceed with the Marriage, without Divorcing him. How can I prevent him from doing it again & again? Shall I expose his philanderous acts in front of both our Families & Humiliate him? Or shall I keep this to myself & use this as a Bargaining Chip, to emotionally blackmail & manipulate him, in the future, to make him do something for me, which he wouldn't have done, otherwise? Or, is there any other way ahead? At present, my Toddler Son is my Priority & I don't want him to suffer unnecessarily, due to no fault of his. Please advise me.

Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.