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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Payel on Apr 12, 2023Hindi

I as a woman,I always want to do some work in my life.but now the problem is if I marry to my boyfriend he wanted a home maker wife.He support me in my work but his concern is about our future that who will take care of our child and than how I balanced my work...I don't understand what to do.

Ans: Dear Payel,
As someone who has worked with many couples who have planned to marry, I suggest one thing: If being a working woman is very important to you and your partner wants something quite different...this can become a huge issue later after marriage.
Have that frank conversation before you make the big decision of marrying...It is possible for a woman to work and look after the family as well with of course some help from family or by hiring help. But what can't be helped is if your partner carries the belief that it's a woman's job to stay home and care for babies (especially if the woman role models in his life have done that). This can become a huge challenge when you have the opposite view.
So, talk about this and know that as a woman you do have the skill of managing different things together. I am sure when the two of you converse, he will be able to see your perspective as well. You may also be able to ease his fears on how the baby can be cared for even if you work. It maybe as simple as that.

All the best!

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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2022

Question by PS - Sep 28, 2022Hindi

Dear Anu, I am a housewife with two kids, younger one is 3 years old. I used to be working before the birth of my second child. I can't join back the job as we are nuclear family and husband is busy whole day with his work. I have to take care of the house and kids almost full day. Sometimes I’m frustrated and irritated. I gave talked about this to my husband but not much respite. He says 'I’m doing my job to earn. You do your job to look after house.' Don't know what to do.

Ans:

Dear PS,

Typical nuclear family with very little family support relies solely on the mother being the caregiver and this can result in a lot of frustrations. Understood!

But what exactly are you trying to do fighting the situation knowing that things might be the same for a few years down the line till the children grow a little older? Are you planning on being frustrated for all these years?

Also, someone needs to give your husband a talk on these gender specific remarks and pushing the job of the home to you.

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but well…

In the digital world, there is enough and more to do to use the skills that a person has. So why not explore, a work-from-home part time option?

Depending on what your expertise is and the time that you can give to the work from home option, why don’t you focus on searching for this?

This will require an amazing time management and organization skills on your part, so you are able to give it at least 3-4 hours a day.

This will not only keep you occupied and financially stronger, it will also give you a sense of direction and purpose which is what is currently lacking.

Also, if you have an option of a ‘nanny’ for even two hours during the day when the children can be kept busy, you can even have some time for yourself which will re-energize you.

Caring for two small children is no mean feat and make sure when you discuss the work-from-home option (If you choose this), with your husband, you emphasize how important it is for you along with managing the home.

The commitment ‘to do something for yourself’ will be the focus of your discussion and please do something before your frustrations start seeping out and get onto the kids which might eventually happen.

First, be happy yourself to nurture your home and family.

Step Up…All the best!

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