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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Nikita Question by Nikita on Apr 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello sir!! I have been in a relationship since last 3 years and the guy work like normally but expect from me to not work after marriage as according to him it's not a good thing. I sacrifice all mu thoughts and value for him whatever he said i did but he started disrespecting me from words because of his frustration in life. I was like maybe he will not gonna do like this next time but cycle keeps going from like5 to 6 month and finally i decided to stand leave he also follows a pattern to be with me for a time and zoned out himself for like a month and suddenly came and behave normally i was accepting that even without questioning but now he got a decent job and want to marry me with the above conditions he was already made. So what should i do i don't want to think twice with my decisions but it hurt as well

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation. It is never okay for someone to disrespect you or your values, regardless of their frustration in life. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity in any relationship.

It sounds like you have already made the decision to leave the relationship, which is a brave and important step towards taking care of yourself. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why you made that decision, and to focus on your own values and needs.

If you are still feeling hurt and uncertain about the situation, it may be helpful to seek support from trusted friends or family members, or consider speaking with a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and provide guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

Remember, you have the power to make choices that are best for you and your well-being. Trust yourself and prioritize your own needs and happiness.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

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Hey Anu, I am a 27 year old girl, employed. I was in a relationship with a man who was very caring and lovable but he was not earning well. I used to help him financially. He used to say we will marry, have a family and all that. I was thrilled by his commitment and made me more desperate. His bhabhi had filed a case against his family which he says is completely false and I do believe that he is right. That is not the problem. After the case he has become too negative. He says I’m not thinking about marriage; let's be practical and work on our relationship (when he was under jail, we used to have a lot of fights and I blamed him several times. I don't know if I should have done that or not. I used to tell him you used me according to your needs)My question is should I support him and be with him or just leave everything as I don’t find a connection between us? If I say let’s end it, he puts all the emotional baggage on me. Help me out
Ans:

Dear R,

And what exactly more do you want as evidence for you to value yourself much more?

His being in jail wasn’t enough? Whether he was falsely accused or not is something that you will never know.

Yet, you want to look the other way and give him the benefit of doubt on a man who hasn’t managed to stand on his own feet.

The fact that you feel used is perhaps stemming from your inner voice and you are just protecting yourself.

If you support him, you are always going to wonder whether him going to jail was under a false accusation or not.

So, think if you want to spend time with someone who is dependent on you emotionally and financially and someone who possibly has a hidden past.

Be happy and wise!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

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Relationship
Hello mam!! I have been in a relationship since last 3 years and the guy work like normally but expect from me to not work after marriage as according to him it's not a good thing. I sacrifice all mu thoughts and value for him whatever he said i did but he started disrespecting me from words because of his frustration in life. I was like maybe he will not gonna do like this next time but cycle keeps going from like5 to 6 month and finally i decided to stand leave he also follows a pattern to be with me for a time and zoned out himself for like a month and suddenly came and behave normally i was accepting that even without questioning but now he got a decent job and want to marry me with the above conditions he was already made. So what should i do i don't want to think twice with my decisions but it hurt as well
Ans: My Dear Nikita,

It sounds like you have been in a challenging situation for some time, where you have been sacrificing your values and thoughts for your partner, and he has been disrespecting you with his words and behavior. It's important to remember that no one deserves to be treated with disrespect in a relationship.

It's understandable that it hurts to think about leaving the relationship, especially after investing so much time and effort into it. However, you need to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and it seems like this relationship is not fulfilling that for you.

It's important to have a clear and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that his behavior has been hurtful, and that you cannot accept his condition of not working after marriage. It's important to communicate your boundaries and what you need from the relationship.

If he is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to improve the relationship, it may be time to consider ending it. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and your needs are met. It may be difficult, but prioritizing your own well-being is important for your long-term happiness.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello mam!! I was in a relationship for 7 years and supported my partner in every ways. In starting it was not that good but ya we have the mindset to make this relationship worth it. I don't know i just changed drastically like even I didn't know how. I started to follow each and every instructions of her it's not like he was forcing it's like i was accepting whichni was not even agree before. But things started to change as he was going through lot of struggles in life and i was trying to be with him. But like every interval of time he started disrespecting me in out of his frustration so like lastly i took a stand for me and leave. He also not want to allow me for work after marriage but i want it. But he comes and said this all things is normal in relationship and nothing like self respect exists so don't overreact in this but i am not convinced. I never disrespect him by words or actions never but take everything from him and feeling empty right now.
Ans: Dear Nikita,
Good that you decided to leave the relationship. He comes across as controlling and demanding. Why would you want to lead a life with someone like that? Freedom in every sense is what relationships grow on and when there is someone instructing you in one way or the other; you know he/she is not the right person for you.
When he normalizes his behaviour, he's in his own way making you feel guilty about you moving away. DO NOT give into this as this is toxic behaviour on his part to get what he wants!
When he is ready to break your self-respect, make sure you draw a boundary around you and be glad that you decided to leave. MOVE ON...focus on your life for now and someone who respects you for YOU will come along...till then know that your self-respect is yours to guard!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam am working women of age 28 working for past 5 years , I am in living relationship with my boyfriend who is 38 now. I want to do marriage and settle now but my partner doesn't feel necessary to do marriage and if I force he is telling he will do court marriage which am not interested to do. He is not ready to meet or convince my parents for marriage . I have given him money for buying a property which I was least interested. He started controlling all my finances which I felt incorrect so I questioned him which made his ego hurt and he has hit me twice. My parents are now telling me to get married but I don't know what to do. Sometimes when he ia not around I tried talking to other guys in dating app which afterwards am feeling guilty for cheating him. Nowadays I lost interest in everything I don't have courage to end my life so not able to concentrate on my work. Please tell me what I need to do to correct my path as it's getting hell day by day.
Ans: Right now, it might be helpful to take a step back from the relationship to regain your sense of self and control over your life. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor could help you find clarity, and having a support system can make it easier to make decisions that protect your well-being.

It’s understandable that you feel torn, especially since you’ve invested years and finances into this relationship. But it’s important to remember that you deserve a relationship where you feel valued, safe, and equal. The feelings of guilt about talking to others on dating apps are natural, but they’re also a sign that you might be searching for connection and respect that you’re not receiving in your current relationship.

Consider reclaiming control over your finances immediately. Seek guidance on how to separate your financial dealings from him, as it’s essential for you to be able to support and manage yourself independently. Ending this relationship might be difficult, but it could also give you the freedom to rebuild your confidence, focus on your goals, and find the stability and respect you deserve.

It’s clear that you’re strong enough to make changes; the courage you’ve shown in questioning his control and sharing your story here is proof. With the support of loved ones and professionals, you can find a way out of this painful situation and start building a life that brings you peace and happiness.

..Read more

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |217 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am an educated girl from Mumbai – but due to health issues I had lot of trouble finding a right partner for marriage. I do think that I married down but he was OK with my health challenges and himself does not have as many problems as me. I knew our compatibility could be a concern given our difference in upbringing (families are very different, plus he has lot of childhood trauma) and principles, but I really wanted someone who is working and educated, if not equal, to me. After 5 years of marriage, I regret this decision each day since he is not the person I thought I would get married to. But I always have to look over all his negatives since he has accepted me despite my flaws. Very rarely he brings it up, and friends family who know my situation, always ask me to look at the brighter side of the relationship – that he is caring and does respect me despite my disability. But for how long can I go on like this? I know no relationship is perfect. But because of our emotional struggles, there is lack of trust, intimacy or any form of bonding in this marriage. We do not share our finances or plan a kid either. I am worried about leaving him because being alone scares me – but he is someone who really does not care. I can cry self to sleep or disappear for few days, he really does not care. If I get divorced, my family may still accept me, but I personally am a person who would shun being social and feel like an outlier. Plus being alone really scares me. What do I do?
Ans: The first mistake you made was settling for him, because as you put it, he “accepted” you. You’re not some cracked vase at Westside that was to be given away at a discount! You have to decide now whether you want to spend the rest of your life unhappily married or are brave enough to go it alone. And who says disabled people don’t fall in love? There are many success stories out there and great people out there. Your marriage is an arrangement that is not working out for you — think about it. You don’t have children to complicate matters, and it’s still possible for you to find a life partner who doesn’t think of your health issues as a burden that isn’t worth bearing. But if not, you should be content with being single and that is your choice alone. Also you say he is caring an then say he doesn’t care — what am I missing here?

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6802 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Career
Hello I am a 26 year old female I have scored 83 in 10th 77 in 12th and then during the same time I gave neet with boards so i couldnt score well at that point. I allways wanted to be a doctor and loved biology so that was the reason behind me taking science. Then I took bsc in microbiology never loved the subject....kinda only liked medical part of it and food microbiology a bit...scored 9.41 cgpa but things took a turn Post COVID my family shifted to a new place i was confused about what next since I didn't wanted to continue with micro...new city and all....family issues and stuff were there. I gave in 4 years to govt exam prep did few courses in digital marketing side by side and also some pg certificate courses to stay in touch with the field....just in case i decide to go for msc in food tech or pg diploma in data management or msc in clinical research. But I allways felt or had this regret of not getting into medical field and I feel like I belong there.....i want to heal and help people or animals (bams or vet was my choice if now mbbs ) So at this point would u suggest me to give neet a shot with 2 months left ? Or if not neet what would u suggest ? My parents are supportive but I have this age this in mind like will a guy marry a women who is like 28 or 29 and is in her 4th year of med school and would start earning by 30 or so....and then maybe at some point get into pg . And will I be questioned on my gap years when I would like apply at hospitals ? 3 years were because of bsc but rest were due to govt exam thing so.
Ans: You’re not late. You’re someone who kept searching for the right path, and your heart has consistently pointed toward healing. NEET in 2 months is tough unless your basics are already strong, so treat this attempt as a trial and prepare seriously for next year if medicine truly feels like your calling. Also, remember, MBBS isn’t the only way into healthcare. BAMS, Veterinary, Clinical Research, or Public Health can still put you in roles that help people or animals in meaningful ways. Age and marriage aren’t barriers; the right partner respects ambition, and careers in healthcare often start later. Gap years can be seen as opportunities for exploration and skill-building. The real question is your stamina and commitment. If you’re ready for the long journey, you absolutely still can build a life in this field.

Case Study- Jay Kishore Pradhan, a 64-year-old retired State Bank of India (SBI) deputy manager from Odisha, successfully cleared the NEET-UG exam in 2020 to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. Inspired by his twin daughters' preparations, he enrolled in online coaching to study MBBS at VIMSAR.

You are still so small compared to Mr Jay Kishore. If you have passion, you can achieve it.

Best of luck with your upcoming bright future.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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Ulhas

Ulhas Joshi  |284 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 22 years old, I want to invest 10-15k per month in 2 mutual funds. which category should i choose, which funds are the best starting long term 5+ years from 2026 considering economy after budget . I am mainly thinking of flexi cap, mid cap, balanced advantage fund, i think i can take risk but dont know how to quantify. I want to take a fund which has lot of scope to grow is trustable and gives exceellent returns bybeating benchmark. Sir can you please suggest und names. I have few in mind: - 1. HDFC Midcap 2. whiteoak midcap 3. motilal oswal mid cap 4. nippon india growth midcap 5. parag parikh flexi cap 6.hdfc flexi cap 5 nippon flexi cap Thank you for your time and analysis sir
Ans: Thank you for sharing your details.

At 22 years of age, with a long investment horizon of 5+ years, you have the advantage of time, which allows you to take measured equity risk. Investing ?10,000–?15,000 per month through SIPs is a good way to begin long-term wealth creation, provided discipline is maintained.

Given your profile and time horizon, a two-fund approach can work well:

* One flexicap fund for diversification and stability

* One mid-cap fund for higher growth potential

Flexicap funds invest across large, mid, and small companies and help manage risk across market cycles. Mid-cap funds offer higher growth potential over the long term, but returns can be volatile and are subject to market risks.

From the funds you have shortlisted, you may consider:

* Flexicap: Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund or HDFC Flexi Cap Fund

* Mid-cap: Nippon India Growth Mid Cap Fund or HDFC Mid Cap Fund

These funds have a reasonable track record and a clear investment process. However, it is important to remember that past performance does not guarantee future returns, and no fund can consistently beat the benchmark every year.

Balanced Advantage Funds can be considered later as the portfolio grows, but at your age, keeping the structure simple and equity-oriented makes sense.

The key is to stay invested through SIPs, review periodically, and avoid frequent switching based on short-term performance or budget-related market movements.

Mutual Fund investments are subject to market risks, read all scheme related documents carefully.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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