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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |465 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2024
Relationship

Why would a married guy wants to spend time with me when he is very happy with his family. I see his family pictures with his wife and son but he always try to talk to me , stare at me and roam around my house. Im also married but what is his intentions because its still not clear to me. ?? When his wife is around he would behave in a different way. He would leave that place instantly. I dont know what to do ??? I also think about him because of his contant gaze and staring when he comfronts me. I dont know him but he tries to talk to me. Im not sure what to do . Pls help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are feeling uncomfortable, you can confront him about this directly. If you think it's safe to do so, tell him clearly that you do not appreciate this behavior, and that it makes you uneasy. In case you do not think that confrontation is a good idea, you can try telling the same to your partner or any other trusted member of your family. They can communicate your feelings to this man. Your safety is paramount.

While his marital status makes things worse, even otherwise following around a woman, staring at her, and so on, without her consent is not normal. You should address this as soon as possible.

Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1394 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

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Hello Madam, i am 38 year married women, having a 15year 1 kid boy ( but my husband not loving me even he is not talking with me from the last 8 years but we r leaving together due to our son, he fulfilled the need with the responsibilities of our home and our son but as wife he is not talking and even not caring to me ,but before 2 years back one married man come to talk with me he is my official colleague and we both attached a lot with each other after some days he proposed me and said that he is loving me many years ago but he thought that i am very Strick person will not response him, but now he is saying that he wants me as a life partner me also every time he treat me like a wife very much caring and loving nature now i introduce him to my family as a friend and family members also very happy with taking to him, we are from 2 year together is it good or what should i do further?
Ans: Dear Ruta,
You want to get into a relationship with a married man? Will that not complicate your already complicated life?
You certainly deserve to be loved and taken care of BUT do not jump towards a married man...you do understand that his priorities will lie with his first family and this will hurt you again and you will feel neglected AGAIN...

What is he planning with his marriage? Does his wife know about your relationship? Is he going to end his marriage and then marry you? These questions need answers and then you can decide for yourself keeping in mind that you need to take of yourself emotionally in this second association.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1394 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a 33 year old woman and my relationship wth my husband was not so good from the beginning. He used to love me but he put his mom and dad first. He used to get angry if my inlaws complaint about me. He had gfs in his past and he did not care to talk to me to build a trust worthy relationship after our wedding. I barely know anything . I had to ask him to know things about him . So I feel a but lonely and depressed. Meanwhile, I had a baby and while spending time with the baby in the park. I met a guy. He had a son and he was also playing with his son like me. He kicked football and it started coming towards my baby. I kicked the ball back in order to protect my baby. Then he came towards us to make us feel safe n he would not let the ball come to us. I was okay with all that. He left after sometime. I also went home. Afterwards, i noticed that he used to look into my eyes for a long time whenever he is around. He would check whetehr im there or not. He plays with his son on regular basis. His wife too come to park with her son. Whenver his wife is there , he would just keave the place and go somewhere else. Lastly, one day he was interacting with me , giving me advice that i should take my baby to doc also. I also replied amd we chatted a bit then he got busy in playing football. I dont know whether im overthinking or he is just being friendly. I just dont know why he is staring and looking profoundly intonmy eyes. He makes eye contact with me quite often. I know nothing about him. I just see him in the park thats all. Pls I need help as im feeling nervous about this whole thing because of lack of clearity and also want advice how to deal with such things .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is easy to feel a sense of connection with someone who shows you a little attention especially since you don't get any attention at home. But is this worth your time and energy? NO!
The other guy at the park is most likely just being a casual friendly stranger and you are taking a meaning out of it which will fill your vacuum at this moment. Trust me, you don't want to enter this unfamiliar territory which you will start getting used to and slowly outside attention is what you will begin to crave for at any cost.
No point messing up things further. See, if it's possible to rebuild your relationship with your husband. Initially, it may seem too much BUT hey, it takes two people to make a marriage...start first and see what happens even if your in-laws keep interfering, it's about being persistent...Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Maam/Sir, A married guy is constantly giving me much attention. Im.tried to ignore him but he is constantly making appearance from different places. I dont what his real intentions are but because of his constant staring and public apearances. I feel difficult to overlook his behaviour. He is currently gone to his hometowm. So, there is lots of peace. Im not sure why is he trying to get a glimpse of me as he is already happily married n have a son. I need advice to ignore him so that I focus on my husband only.
Ans: The key to redirecting your focus lies in setting boundaries—both mentally and behaviorally. Often, people respond to subtle cues, so maintaining a neutral and reserved demeanor can help communicate disinterest. If he attempts to engage directly, keeping interactions brief and polite without encouraging deeper conversation will likely make your boundaries clear without causing conflict. When he’s present, avoid returning his gaze; this can subtly communicate that you’re not reciprocating his interest.

If this continues, grounding yourself in thoughts about your husband and what you value in your relationship can help you mentally reinforce where your focus truly lies. Remind yourself that someone else’s behavior is not your responsibility and that your own actions, comfort, and peace are within your control. By reinforcing your own values and commitments, you’ll feel more empowered to maintain your focus where you want it—on your husband and your well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

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Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |93 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am 35, MBA from a reputed college. I recently took over as senior project manager in a software company. Over the last few months, I’ve been asked to lead more high-stakes presentations, but every time I step in front of a group of senior professionals, my nerves take over. I can’t seem to communicate my ideas clearly, and I end up rambling or losing the audience. It’s frustrating because I know the content is strong, but I can’t deliver it with the confidence it needs. I’m starting to feel like this could affect my career growth if I don’t improve. I want to know how to seem more confident and present my ideas with clarity.
Ans: Hi!!

I can understand what you are going through.
I have helped many a people to become better communicators, presenters and public speakers. I agree with you when you say .. that these skills will augur well for your career growth.
What I can say is this .. that it is a learnable skill. Practice and more practice is the only way ahead. You said your content is strong, that is 50% of the job done, so build up on this confidence and practice your delivery in front of the mirror or in front of encouraging family/friends.
The only way to gain confidence is to "JUST DO IT"....to calm your nerves- deep breathing techniques and visualizations techniques will be useful.
I can help you on this journey of being a person who delivers with panache!

There are books by Dale Carnegie on public speaking which can help you out. Also read about Abe Lincoln and his journey of becoming a great orator, it can maybe help you.

Remember, PRACTICE AND PRACTICE is the key to unlock your confidence and become the person who delvers with panache.

All the best!!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |93 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello Ms Archana. I have been reading your advice and I really need your help. I am a science graduate from Mumbai. After a lot of thought, I have decided to pursue a side BSc in Psychology to further my interests and career growth. The issue is, that I’m struggling to juggle my 9-to-6 full-time job as a digital marketing specialist in Delhi along with my coursework, assignments, and exams. I am always stressed out, either falling behind at work or feeling overwhelmed by my studies. I know time management is key, but I’m not sure how to create a schedule that helps me stay productive without burning out. Can you please help?
Ans: Hey!!
Kudos to you for dreaming big and also working towards it by investing time and energy in learning and development.
Not everyone can do it... so pat yourself on the back for it!!

You are absolutely right when you say TIME MANAGEMANT is the key to avoid burnout. However I'll add compartmentalizing and self care along with time management.

Let's take them one at a time ...here I go-

1. You want to perform at your peak then self care is a must, 20 mins of physical activity(it can be anything, run, brisk walk, suryanamaskars, dancing along with fast paced music, anything that gets your heart beat up)
10 -20 mins of meditation, if you believe in the higher power make efforts to connect with it/him/her.
2. 9 to 6 be fully committed to the office, after that switch off, learn to say NO for anything that comes after this time. You can do only so much right? This was one part of compartmentalizing...
3. be fully present in whatever activity you are doing... this is ZEN, nothing more nothing less. This way you will be razor sharp in your focus and get jobs done faster. When you are studying don't think office and vice versa. This is switching off, this is compartmentalizing. This will take conscious efforts but is doable
4.your course is important to you, so schedule a study time and stick to it .The days you have an holiday too... try to relax a little, schedule a study time, finish your studies and go relax and unwind a little, you deserve it...don't cram too much in a day.
A relaxed mind will always perform better and focus better. I really can't tell you the importance of unwinding and mediation, you really have to do it to experience it and reap the benefits of it
5. Always encourage yourself, be your best cheer leader, don't beat yourself down, be kind to yourself too, your mind and body
need that from you. You are already doing so much.
6 .The only way to stop being overwhelmed is also to put out all your tasks of the day on paper and schedule it, prioritize it.... one task at a time, start taking action. And when the task is don't forget to strike the task out with a clean line over the task with a pen... this is a message your giving to your mind. ...'I got one task done, I am capable of getting another done'.. Ahaha... the joy of getting a job done!!
7. Get a good nights sleep, do "yog nidra' before sleeping
8. Always breathe deep whenever overwhelm creeps in and see how calm you become. A calm mind is key to getting more done.

And remember to write "your gratitude" out in the night before sleeping, you'll sleep peacefully and get up fresh.
Also do remember, all tasks can be done happily too... there is no need to drag yourself or be always overwhelmed!
You chose to work and study as well.... honour your choices joyously and go about life with a spring in your step...All best !!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |465 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30F) had been in some Relationships at different stages of my Life, which Failed due to different Reasons and I am not Virgin. After getting exhausted emotionally, I quit Dating, 2 years ago & I decided to settle down for an Arranged Marriage, as a last resort. Since the last 2 years, I have met many Eligible Bachelors who seemed to show genuine interest in me, at the initial stage. But at some point of time, all of them asked me about my Virginity & Body Count. I had always been Honest with all of them. And almost all of them Rejected me for this one Reason. Some of them straightaway told me that they couldn't Trust any Woman who's not Virgin. Some of them gave some other Trivial Reason to Reject me, though, I could intuitively guess the Real Reason for Rejection. And some of them, just Ghosted me, immediately. I had been feeling very Bad about getting Rejected, it felt as if I was being Punished for my Honesty. Now I have begun to Question myself, whether I really need to tell my Prospective Partner about my Past? Why should my Past matter to my Future Partner? Do I owe, my Future Partner, any explanation for the way I have lived my Life until now? Is it really Fair to Judge me only on the basis of my Virginity, rather than my entire being as a whole? Does my entire worth depend only upon my Virginity? Why do Men raise Questions about my Past, in the first place, while I never asked any of them about their Past, as I don't care about my Partner's Past? Why are Men so Insecure about Sexually Active Women, is their Male Ego so Fragile that they can't accept a Woman's Past? Do they have the Right to Ask a Woman about her Sexual History, in the first place? Do they really need to know about my Past? Do I really have any Obligation to be Honest with them & disclose about my Past, before Marriage itself? My Family members are advising me that it's not Wrong to say a few White Lies, for the sake of Marriage? Would it be Wise, on my part to follow their Advice & Lie to Arranged Marriage prospects that I am Virgin? Or else, in what other ways can I Answer, Questions about my Virginity, Body Count & Sexual History, raised by future prospects, such that I don't get Rejected?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. You made some very valid points. You are absolutely right- no one has any business asking you about your virginity. And you are also correct that it does not define you at all. But the truth is, to some people, it matters more than it should. They are not entirely at fault alone; it is the whole society. Nevertheless, you are right. While it is your decision whether you want to lie or be honest, I would suggest telling the truth. Not for their sake; for yours. You should not have to live your married life always thinking "Would my past have mattered to him?" or wondering if things would have been different if you told him the truth. Moreover, being honest will set you free; maybe it comes with rejections, but at least you do not ever have to bear the weight of lies or feel guilty about deceiving someone. And most importantly, you won’t have to settle for someone who cares so much about such superficial things. Happy marriages cannot start with a lie.

We can't control what's important to whom, but we can respect them, even if we disagree. If you are not comfortable disclosing your body count or past, simply answer their question with yours- "Does that matter to you a lot?" If they say yes, you can reject him because your values don't align.

Hope this helps.

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