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Struggling with in-laws and husband, feeling trapped: What should I do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Whenever I have a fight with my in-laws, my husband always takes their side and not talks with me for a 15 days or a week, tells me that he is bearing me all this years and I should go back to my mothers house, anyway he is hardly talking with me, he just answers my question, he is always busy with his office work, and he shoe me away if I try to romance by saying our daughter (13yr old) will see us, will do it afterwards, that comes only ones in a month. He is really unhappy with me, they all want to send me to my mother house, I deeply love him ....this all things makes me anxious, what should I do??? Ours is arranged marriage 15yrs. gone. He feels like he is trapped with me and now I am also feeling unhappy in our marriage..what should I do please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly none of them seem to be happy with you and seem to want to get you away from them.
What exactly are you holding onto? Evaluate what you are getting by staying in the marriage and what you can do to manage life without the marriage if you of course make that choice.
I would also suggest one last attempt at putting things together. Will your husband be willing to talk to a third person like a therapist or even a family member? Try to set things right and even after this, they seem to make your life miserable, you really need to create options for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years. Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.My in-laws are not very friendly people.After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house. My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well. I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work. My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing. In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.Please provide your valuable suggestions.
Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Hi Anu, I got married in Jan 2019 and it was an arranged marriage. Before marriage my husband loved me and we used to meet often and go out. But after marriage i got to know that his parents are extremely controlling and strict, they brainwashed him. A week into marriage we started fighting, and since then it's been a see-saw of love and hate. Soon we found out that he is impotent, but I helped him get over it, be it doctor's appointments or medicine, I took care of everything, it took us a year but we finally consummated our marriage. Then due to covid we moved to my in-laws’ house at his request. And then this marriage became hell to me, my in-laws started verbally abusing me every day though my husband tried to protect me but failed. I thought after the baby they would stop but it got worse so I took my 1-month-old baby and moved into my parents’ house. My husband came and begged me to not leave him, he said we'll move out to our own place. I agreed but then he called and told me that we'll go to another city after a year and I should stay with my mother till that time. BTW I am taking care of the baby all on my own financially, he won't do it unless I start living with him. I am financially independent. I don't know whether I should leave him or not, help?
Ans:

Dear S,

Time this one out! Which means, drop a deadline by having a conversation with your husband as to when your family will finally have a chance to function independently from in-laws or any other external circumstances.

Dropping deadlines means, both of you will be under the pump to put down a plan as to what needs to be done to clear out the existing muck and how beautifully you will create a loving environment for your baby to grow.

Not taking care of the baby or you, is not an option for him; but I guess it has become a convenient arrangement for him as you live with your parents and he does not need to take care of the fights and expenses as well.

This could only mean he is escaping reality and finding peace in avoiding it. Put him in the face of reality and that goes for you as well.

Being too accommodative can also become a habit where you rely on the comfort of what it brings to you; in this case the comfort at your parents' home.

For the sake of the baby, work together as a team and create a beautiful relationship; which will help the baby grow healthy, physically and emotionally.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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I've been married for 20 years and my in laws staying with us for over 14 years now. I'm ok with my mother in law but have a very stressful relationship with my father in law. 13 years back he tried to overstep his boundaries in FIL-DIL relationship and i created lots of noise about it and told everyone in no unclear terms that such overture are not acceptable. However due to their complete financial dependency on my husband, they have still continued to stay with us. My FIL tried a couple of time to apologize personally but after sometime he has started telling that he is the aggrieved party and misunderstood. I strictly avoid speaking with him unless totally necessary wrt some house issue or child related issue. He interferes in my decision related to my child, like taking him off the activity classes where i enrolled, allowing him to eat junk food when i have strictly told no because of IBS related problem etc. I've also told my husband in no unclear terms that i want a separate household, but unfortunately because of their old age and for fear of society norms he isn't doing it. The environment in my house is quite stressful because of this to me, everyone else is just continuing without bother. How to deal with this? I tried living in other city with my child as well but then felt my house is breaking without any fault in our relationship (husband- wife), and my child was feeling emotional so i returned. This situation and stress has given me health conditions and made me irritable as well. I just don't want to live like this but have no option but to continue it seems. I need suggestion how to handle this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What society says is more important that actually safeguarding his wife from a predator father? Seriously?
Your husband needs a lesson or two in responsibilities in marriage and that also includes 'protecting' his wife...
Now, if he is worried that they are old and what will the society say, ask him what the same society will say when they know what his father is up to?

Your father-in-law is just trying to punish you for your refusal by interfering in how you should be raising your child...
Please do not put up with this kind of nonsense! Someone needs to drive sense into your husband and yes, you need to live separately from your in-laws. Your father-in-law is not a great influence at this point in time and your husband needs to move beyond his 'blind' love and sense of duty towards them.

You and your child are also his priority and when a wife feels unsafe, the husband has no option but to address it and make her feel safe again. Your husband is conveniently avoiding the confusion that will emerge from living separately and hence is taking the easy way out.
Talk to him and put your foot down. If he is still unwilling, please ask your family members to drive some sense in him. He can take care of them living a few blocks away, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2131 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Aug 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 01, 2025Hindi
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If I have central obc ncl certificate from my permanent address(Uttar Pradesh) and domicile from my current address(Maharashtra) can I avail reservation in iit,nit through this certificate
Ans: Hi
Many of us are confused about domicile, nativity, and category certificates.
Let us see the differences one by one.
Domicile Certificate:
Purpose: To prove residency in a particular state or territory.
Eligibility: Typically requires a minimum period of residence (e.g., 3-15 years in a state), and the applicant or their parents must be permanent residents.
Examples: Used for admissions in schools, colleges, and universities within the state; also used for various state government benefits and employment.

Nativity Certificate:
Purpose: Confirms an individual's birth or origin in a specific country (usually India).
Usage: Often used to establish Indian citizenship or origin, particularly when applying for Overseas Citizenship of India (OCI) or in cases where birth or parentage within India is relevant.
Example: A nativity certificate can be used to prove that an individual or their parents were born in India, which might be needed for OCI applications or for proving a connection to India.

OBC NCL Certificate:
Purpose: To identify individuals eligible for reservations in government jobs, educational institutions, and scholarships, who belong to the OBC category but are not in the "creamy layer".
Eligibility:
Requires proof that the applicant's parents' annual income is below a specified limit (e.g., Rs. 8 lakhs).
Examples:
Used for admissions in colleges and universities with OBC reservations; also used for applying to government jobs with OBC quotas.

ALL ARE DIFFERENT. SO YOU CAN USE YOUR CATEGORY CERTIFICATE TO PURSUE ANY PROGRAM IN MAHARASHTRA, SINCE YOU ARE FROM MAHARASHTRA DOMICILE. BEFORE APPLYING, YOU SHOULD HAVE BOTH CERTIFICATES.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10074 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi I'm 27 years old unmarried woman earning 82,000 per month in private sector.My parents are my dependent, my 19 years old sister as well. I've loan of around 3 lacs. 15000 rent, how do i manage my finances and achieve a better financial investment.
Ans: – Thank you for sharing your financial details so clearly.
– Your disciplined monthly income of Rs.82,000 is a strong foundation.
– Supporting your parents and sister shows admirable responsibility.
– Managing a loan and rent effectively will boost your confidence.
– Let us explore a full 360-degree financial roadmap.

»Current Financial Snapshot
– Monthly income stands at Rs.82,000.
– Rent obligation of Rs.15,000 reduces your disposable income.
– Outstanding loan of Rs.3,00,000 carries interest costs.
– Three dependents rely on your financial support.
– No insurance or mutual fund details mentioned.
– Emergency buffer seems unestablished currently.

»Expense Management
– Track all expenses meticulously every month.
– Use a simple spreadsheet for clarity.
– Categorise needs, wants and savings separately.
– Aim to limit wants to under 20% income.
– Allocate needs to under 50% income.
– Savings and investments should target 30% income.
– Review rent and utility costs for possible reduction.
– Negotiate rent at renewal for lower outgo.
– Cut discretionary subscriptions if underused.
– Prioritise essentials and purposeful spending.

»Emergency Fund Creation
– Emergency fund must cover six months expenses.
– Target Rs.90,000 per month for six months.
– Total emergency corpus goal Rs.5,40,000.
– Start with small monthly transfers of Rs.5,000.
– Increase transfers as loan reduces.
– Park emergency funds in liquid funds.
– Actively managed liquid funds offer professional oversight.
– Avoid direct funds here due to lower service support.
– Regular fund through MFD ensures CFP-managed guidance.
– Revisit corpus target annually for inflation.

»Debt Management Strategy
– High-cost loan should get priority repayment.
– Channel extra cash to prepay your loan.
– Aim to clear Rs.3,00,000 within two years.
– Negotiate lower interest rate with lender.
– Use balloon payments if cash surplus arises.
– Avoid fresh debt until current loan ends.
– After loan clearance, redirect payments to investments.
– Document repayment progress monthly.
– Celebrate milestones to sustain motivation.

»Insurance and Protection
– Review existing life and health coverage.
– Ensure your parents and sister are co-insured where possible.
– Secure term insurance covering at least ten times income.
– Opt for critical illness cover through MFD regular plans.
– Avoid ULIP or investment-cum-insurance structures now.
– Clearly separate insurance from investment goals.
– Use actively managed funds for pure investment.
– Reassess insurance needs every two years.
– Keep policy premiums within 10% of income.

»Investment Strategy Overview
– Aim for diversified actively managed equity funds.
– Equity funds offer higher growth over five years.
– Avoid index funds due to limited active oversight.
– Index funds lack flexibility during market volatility.
– Actively managed funds may outperform in Indian markets.
– Regular fund investments through MFD give CFP guidance.
– Start SIP allocations of Rs.10,000 monthly.
– Increase SIP by Rs.2,000 every year.
– Allocate 60% to equity, 20% to debt, 20% to hybrid.
– Use high-quality fund houses with strong track record.
– Evaluate fund manager tenure and consistency annually.
– Debt allocation can use short-duration funds.
– Debt LTCG and STCG taxed per slab; factor in net returns.
– Reallocate funds based on life stage at age 30 and 35.

»Retirement Planning Framework
– Begin retirement savings now for compounding benefits.
– Target retirement corpus of Rs.3 crore by age 60.
– Allocate 50% of investments to equity funds.
– Use actively managed funds for higher return potential.
– Debt funds cushion equity volatility near retirement.
– Review retirement allocation every five years.
– Increase contributions as salary grows above Rs.82,000.
– Include voluntary provident fund contributions where possible.
– Avoid annuities; they limit future liquidity.
– CFP-guided funds ensure disciplined retirement investing.

»Tax Planning Considerations
– Use Section 80C options up to Rs.1.5 lakh limit.
– Regular mutual fund ELSS has three-year lock-in.
– Actively managed ELSS benefits from professional stock selection.
– Avoid direct equity to meet 80C aims.
– Debt mutual fund STCG taxed per income slab.
– LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5% on equity funds.
– Factor tax impact when redeeming funds.
– Stage redemptions to optimise tax brackets.
– Document investment proofs for timely filing.

»Monitoring and Review
– Set quarterly review meetings with yourself.
– Track portfolio performance against benchmarks.
– Rebalance asset mix annually for risk alignment.
– Increase SIP if income grows beyond inflation.
– Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly.
– Update financial goals as circumstances change.
– Maintain clear documentation of all transactions.
– Use digital platforms for fund tracking convenience.
– Keep fund literature and statements organised digitally.
– Stay informed on new tax rules and fund regulations.

»Behavioral Insights
– Maintain discipline during market downturns.
– Avoid impulsive redemptions on market noise.
– Stick to a long-term view for equity investments.
– Celebrate small milestones to sustain momentum.
– Cultivate financial awareness through reading and workshops.
– Engage family in simple budgeting discussions.
– Build healthy money habits through consistent action.

»Final Insights
– A holistic approach ensures balanced financial health.
– Debt reduction, emergency buffer and investments align goals.
– Active fund management offers tailored professional oversight.
– Regular reviews drive continuous improvement.
– Your disciplined efforts will yield lasting financial stability.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10074 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2025

Money
I invest 50000 per month through SIP in mutual funds. I want to add one gold ETF or gold fund and one balanced advantage or multi asset fund. My total SIP amount will still remain 50000. I have high risk appetite and my goal is long term wealth creation. How should I rebalance my SIPs to include these funds? Current SIPs: Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 10000 HDFC Flexi Cap - 10000 ICICI Nifty Midcap 150 - 5000 ICICI Nifty 50 - 5000 ICICI Nasdaq 100 - 5000 Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap - 5000 Axis Small Cap - 5000 Quant Small Cap - 5000
Ans: You are doing really well. A Rs.50000 monthly SIP shows strong discipline. You already hold a mix of flexi cap, midcap, small cap, large and midcap, and international funds. That’s a good diversified start. Including a gold fund and one balanced advantage or multi-asset fund adds strength and stability. You are thinking right for long term wealth creation.

» Understanding Your Current SIP Mix

– Flexi cap and large-mid funds cover market-wide opportunities.
– Small cap and midcap funds add growth potential but carry high volatility.
– Nasdaq exposure adds foreign diversification but is very volatile.
– Nifty index-based funds add passive exposure but lack dynamic fund management.

You already hold 2 index funds.
These are passively managed and don’t respond to market movements.
They lack human intervention in market falls.
They don’t do sector rotation or tactical moves.
They also don’t protect during drawdowns.

Actively managed funds do better in volatile Indian markets.
They bring research, risk control, and better downside management.
A Certified Financial Planner through an MFD brings added support.
They guide asset allocation and fund rebalancing.
This protects wealth over time.

» Evaluating Need for Rebalancing

– You want to add a gold fund and a balanced or multi-asset fund.
– SIP amount will remain Rs.50000. That’s a wise budget constraint.
– You currently run 8 SIPs. A bit on the higher side.
– Small caps and index funds have higher downside during market corrections.
– Nasdaq fund is concentrated and highly volatile.

You need more balance and less duplication.
Also, one gold and one dynamic asset fund adds strong diversification.
This improves your asset mix and reduces portfolio stress.

» Why Add Gold Fund in Portfolio

– Gold gives hedge against inflation and global risks.
– It performs well when equities underperform.
– It adds low correlation benefit to your portfolio.

Keep gold exposure to around 5-10% of SIP.
That means around Rs.2500 to Rs.5000 monthly.
Gold ETF or gold fund is fine.
Prefer actively managed gold fund through MFD with CFP support.
Avoid direct investment in gold.
They offer no growth and no tax benefits.

Gold fund also brings easy liquidity and tax clarity.
Over long term, it reduces total portfolio risk.

» Why Balanced Advantage or Multi Asset Fund Is Useful

– These funds shift between equity, debt, and gold.
– They adjust allocation based on market conditions.
– They reduce downside risk in volatile times.
– You get smoother returns and peace of mind.

For long term goal, they support steady compounding.
They also reduce emotional stress during market crashes.
They are actively managed and suit Indian investors with high risk appetite.

You may invest Rs.5000 to Rs.7500 monthly in one such fund.
This helps protect the rest of your portfolio.

Don’t go for conservative hybrid funds or fixed income hybrids.
They don’t match your high risk profile.
Dynamic hybrid or multi asset is better aligned.

» Recommended Rebalancing Strategy

You need to trim areas that are over-exposed.
Also, cut funds that add less value.

Consider removing both ICICI Nifty Midcap 150 and ICICI Nifty 50
– Both are index-based
– They have no active fund manager decisions
– Passive approach doesn’t suit all market phases
– Your goals need active participation and review

Exit Nasdaq 100 SIP
– High risk and US tech sector is too concentrated
– Currency risk also exists
– Volatility is higher than needed
– Foreign exposure is important, but diversify through other global strategies

Reduce either one small cap fund
– You have two: Axis and Quant
– One of them can be paused
– You don’t need two small caps unless monthly SIP is over Rs.1 lakh

This will free around Rs.15000 to Rs.20000 monthly.
This is enough to add both gold fund and one balanced strategy.

Now, you may consider:
– Rs.5000 SIP in gold fund
– Rs.7500 SIP in balanced advantage or multi-asset fund

This creates room for better balance and less stress.
Remaining Rs.37500 can continue in 3-4 core equity funds.

Keep portfolio to 6-7 funds maximum.
Too many funds overlap and become difficult to track.

» Suggested Allocation Post Rebalancing

Flexi cap – Rs.10000

Large & mid cap – Rs.10000

One small cap – Rs.5000

Gold fund – Rs.5000

Balanced Advantage or Multi Asset – Rs.7500

One diversified equity or flexi cap – Rs.12500

This ensures equity focus with added balance and protection.
You stay aligned with long term wealth creation.
It reduces duplication and improves manageability.

» Avoid Direct and Index Fund Investing

Direct funds may seem low-cost, but they lack personalised advice.
You don’t get real-time guidance during market corrections.
Behavioural mistakes hurt more than expense ratio savings.

A Certified Financial Planner through MFD helps:
– Review portfolio every 6-12 months
– Guide rebalancing and allocation
– Help with exit and taxation
– Support in market panic periods

Also, avoid index funds for now.
They miss on downside protection and tactical allocation.
You need managed funds for long term success.

Focus on regular plans with support.
This ensures strategy, discipline, and tax-aware investing.

» Taxation Awareness for SIP Investments

Understand mutual fund taxation:
– Equity MF: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– STCG taxed at 20%
– Debt MFs taxed as per your slab

Balanced Advantage Funds are taxed as equity.
Gold funds are taxed like debt funds.
So, plan exit accordingly.
Don’t exit all funds together.

Take Systematic Withdrawal Plans after 5-7 years.
This manages tax outgo efficiently.
A Certified Financial Planner can plan withdrawals tax-optimally.

» Periodic Review and Portfolio Check

Rebalancing is not one-time.
Review fund performance every year.
Assess fund manager consistency and returns against benchmarks.

Switch funds only if performance slips consistently.
Don’t over-react to short term underperformance.
Stick with SIP discipline for 10-15 years.
That’s how wealth compounds best.

Also, reallocate SIPs every 2-3 years if goals change.
Get help from a professional if needed.
Goal alignment is key in fund selection.

» Don’t Increase Fund Count Unnecessarily

You already have 8 funds.
After rebalancing, reduce this to 6-7 funds.
Too many funds don’t add diversification.
They confuse asset allocation and review process.

Each fund must have a reason in portfolio.
Overlap in small caps or similar category doesn’t help.
Keep it lean, strategic, and goal-focused.

» Use SIP Top-up Facility Smartly

As income grows, increase SIPs gradually.
Use SIP top-up option annually.
Add Rs.1000 to Rs.2000 more per fund per year.
This will beat inflation and build stronger corpus.

Don’t increase number of funds while increasing amount.
Stick to few funds and scale SIP amount.
This helps in long term tracking and better review.

» How to Implement These Changes

– Don’t stop SIPs blindly.
– Pause the ones you plan to remove.
– Start new SIPs immediately in gold and balanced funds.
– Link them to same long-term goal.
– Set same SIP dates for simplicity.
– Track performance every quarter or half-yearly.

Keep a simple excel tracker or use platforms through MFD with CFP support.
Stay patient. Let compounding do the rest.

» Finally

You’ve done really well already.
Rs.50000 SIP is a strong base for long term wealth.
Adding gold and balanced funds improves your asset mix.
It will reduce volatility and improve risk-adjusted returns.
Avoid passive and direct funds.
Stick to managed funds with CFP guidance.
Focus on simplicity, consistency, and yearly review.

With this approach, your long term goals are fully within reach.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10074 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi my age is 41 & my monthly salary of 1.75 laks. I have home loan balance of 6 laks & monthly EMI of 12500. Personal loan is 4.8 laks 8 & monthly EMI of 18000. My current savings from PF 15 laks, life insurance 14 laks & all 5 yrs are tenure paid. MF savings of 26 laks & monthly SIP 45k past 3.5 years. Currently 2.5 laks yearly premiums of LIC life insurance & balance 12 yrs premium is pending. Term insurance value 1.5 crore & monthly EMI of 4400. My standard monthly expenses are 10 k for my parents, kids education fee 2 laks per year, mothy expenses for house hold 30 to 45k.i need plan for early retirement approx 55, kids Higher study & retirement value of 1 laks. Kindly advise financial planning for my case.
Ans: You are doing many things right. Your savings and SIP habits are impressive. You are focused on early retirement and kids’ education. That’s excellent foresight. With careful planning, your goals are achievable. Let’s now assess and structure your financial plan.

» Income and Current Outflow Summary

– Your monthly salary is Rs.1.75 lakhs.
– EMI towards home loan is Rs.12,500.
– Personal loan EMI is Rs.18,000.
– Term plan premium is Rs.4,400.
– LIC policy premium is around Rs.20,800 monthly (Rs.2.5 lakhs yearly).
– SIP is Rs.45,000 monthly.
– Household and family expenses are Rs.30,000 to Rs.45,000.
– You support your parents with Rs.10,000 per month.
– Kids’ education cost is Rs.2 lakhs yearly (Rs.16,000 monthly approx).

Your total fixed outgo monthly is approx Rs.1.36 lakhs to Rs.1.52 lakhs.
You are left with very little buffer each month.
This needs re-balancing.

» Assessment of Existing Assets

– PF corpus of Rs.15 lakhs is a strong base.
– Life insurance value of Rs.14 lakhs with premiums due for 12 more years.
– Mutual Fund value of Rs.26 lakhs is excellent.
– SIP of Rs.45,000 running for 3.5 years shows consistency.
– Term insurance of Rs.1.5 crore is apt for your age.

Your total assets are around Rs.55 lakhs.
But part of this is locked or low-yielding.
This needs attention and action.

» Evaluation of Loans

– Home loan balance is Rs.6 lakhs. EMI is manageable.
– Personal loan of Rs.4.8 lakhs with Rs.18,000 EMI is high.
– Personal loans are high-cost and reduce investible surplus.
– Try to prepay personal loan first, not the home loan.
– Use any bonuses or extra funds to close personal loan early.

Reducing personal loan burden improves your cash flow and peace of mind.

» Review of Insurance Policies

– You are paying Rs.2.5 lakhs yearly for LIC life insurance.
– These are traditional plans, likely with low returns.
– 12 years premium still left. That’s Rs.30 lakhs more over time.
– Maturity after 17 years may not beat inflation.

You may surrender these LIC policies.
Reinvest the surrender value into mutual funds.
This will improve your returns and liquidity.
Focus only on your term plan for life cover.

» Term Insurance – A Right Step

– Rs.1.5 crore term insurance is a strong coverage.
– You are paying Rs.4,400 monthly, which is reasonable.
– This must be continued till retirement.
– It protects your family in case of uncertainty.

Avoid mixing insurance and investment.
You have taken the correct approach here.

» Mutual Funds – Your Strongest Wealth Generator

– MF corpus of Rs.26 lakhs is your growth engine.
– Rs.45,000 monthly SIP is highly disciplined.
– You’ve invested for 3.5 years. That’s great consistency.

Continue SIP till retirement or longer.
If needed, reduce SIP slightly till loan is cleared.

Avoid index funds as they lack professional oversight.
Actively managed funds outperform in volatile Indian markets.
They help you beat inflation and stay ahead.

Also, direct funds don’t suit everyone.
Regular funds through a CFP-guided MFD offer better strategy.
They give personalised rebalancing, tax planning, and behaviour management.
This helps avoid panic in market swings.

Stay committed to MF investing with guidance.
It will build your retirement and kids’ education corpus.

» Retirement Planning Target

– You wish to retire by 55. That’s 14 years away.
– Your target post-retirement income is Rs.1 lakh per month.
– Adjusting for inflation, this will need a larger corpus.

Your PF, SIP, and future investments will help.
You must maintain or increase SIP over time.
Reduce personal loan burden first, then increase SIP.
Avoid withdrawing PF before 60. Let it compound.

Stay consistent and increase SIP with every salary hike.
This ensures a smoother retirement journey.

» Kids’ Higher Education Planning

– You have two kids. Education cost is rising fast.
– You are already paying Rs.2 lakhs per year for schooling.
– Higher studies may need Rs.20-30 lakhs per child later.

You must earmark part of SIP for this goal.
Start a separate SIP only for kids’ future.
Choose growth-oriented diversified equity funds.
Invest with at least a 10-12 year view.

Do not use insurance policies for education planning.
Mutual funds offer better growth and liquidity.

Review this goal every year. Adjust SIP if needed.

» Monthly Budget and Cash Flow Advice

– Your monthly income is Rs.1.75 lakhs.
– Fixed expenses and EMIs are very close to this amount.
– You are under financial pressure every month.

Prioritise expenses now:

Prepay personal loan first

Slightly reduce SIP for 12-18 months if needed

Review LIC policies and surrender if practical

Avoid any new loans

Don’t increase lifestyle expenses suddenly

Use bonuses or incentives wisely.
Keep emergency fund of Rs.3-5 lakhs in liquid mutual funds.

» Income Protection and Contingency Planning

– You have good term cover. That’s sufficient for now.
– Do you have personal health insurance apart from company policy?
– If not, take a separate family floater policy.

Company health cover stops after retirement.
Private cover ensures long-term protection.
Choose a plan with room for top-up later.

Also, build a medical corpus alongside insurance.
Medical inflation is very high in India.

» Action Plan for LIC & Other Low-Yield Products

– You hold LIC traditional life insurance plans.
– These give low returns, often below inflation.
– They also lock your money for a long term.

Since your premiums are still due for 12 more years:

Check surrender value

Stop paying further if break-even is poor

Reinvest the amount into mutual funds through a CFP

This boosts flexibility and return potential

Keep only the term plan as your life cover

This restructuring will increase your wealth creation capacity.

» Taxation Considerations

– Be aware of new mutual fund taxation:
– Equity MF: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– STCG taxed at 20%
– Debt MF: Gains taxed as per your income slab

Plan redemptions accordingly to save taxes.
Use systematic withdrawals post-retirement for regular income.
Avoid selling funds in bulk to reduce tax liability.

You must factor this in when planning kids' education withdrawals.

» Avoid Real Estate and Annuity Products

– You already have a home loan. Don’t invest more in property.
– Real estate is illiquid and low yielding.
– Also avoid annuity products. They lock your money at low returns.

Stick with mutual funds and debt hybrids.
They are more flexible and tax-efficient.

» Investment Strategy Moving Forward

Continue SIP without break

Separate SIP for retirement and kids

Avoid traditional insurance plans

Don’t mix insurance and investment

Use bonuses to clear personal loan

Don’t increase home loan EMI

Increase SIP after loan closure

Build emergency corpus

Maintain health insurance

Review financial plan every 12 months

Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly

This structure will balance current needs and future goals.

» Finally

You are already on the right path.
Your SIP habit and PF corpus are strong.
Just trim the low-return policies.
Restructure loans and expenses carefully.

Continue your discipline.
Make small adjustments every year.
Use MFD services with CFP guidance for your mutual fund planning.
That helps in fund selection, reviews, tax strategy, and rebalancing.

With consistency and guidance, your retirement by 55 is reachable.
Your kids' education goals also look realistic.
Stay focused and review yearly.
That’s the key to long-term financial peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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