I am 41 years old and happily single. Have worked overseas and have settled in India with my own business, which keeps me more occupied. Parental and society pressure is to settle down, but can't find the person or reason to connect. Any advise...

Ans: Dear Hariharan,
Have you tried Dating apps? It may seem a bit intimidating at first...but it has yielded good results for few and many. No harm in making an attempt...even if nothing comes out of it initially, it will keep you in a level playing field with a possible added perk of friendships if it doesn't become romantic in nature...eventually something might click too...
Keep your mind open to keep your options wide.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

Ans: Hi Sachin,

I understand that dating can sometimes be very frustrating. You have every right to start wondering whether it will work or not. Since you have already tried dating apps and even had a positive experience, I would ask you to recognize that as a win first. Second, let me share some tips with you that might help you find the right kind of matches:

- Write a detailed and attractive Bio. What should it include? 40% about yourself- your education, your quirks and habits, likes and preferences, and everything that makes you you. 10% about what you can offer as a partner. 10% about the type of relationship you want. Do you want to date exclusively, or are you looking for casual? Are you looking to get married or long-term dating? Mention it clearly to attract the right matches. The remaining 40% should be about the kind of person you want to date. Your idea of a perfect partner. It would save you a lot of time and energy on the relationships that start strong but eventually fizzle out.

- The display picture can play an important role. Always pick a recent and clear image to never mislead anyone. Choose an image that shows you in your element, preferably smiling because that makes you seem warm and welcoming. Refrain from over-editing.

- Another important step is the first message. Write a detailed and personalized first message instead of a Hi.

Other than this, I would ask you to have patience. Regardless of the mode of dating, finding the right partner can take time in certain instances. Good things take time.

Best Wishes.

Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it can seem a bit tricky to find a suitable partner, but I assure you that you are doing great. Since you have already tried matrimonial apps, I’d also suggest trying some serious dating apps as well. It will give you a wider pool of potential matches. Now, coming to how to attract the right match: while writing your bio, mention all that you want in your ideal partner and importantly, mention everything that you bring to the table. Set clear intentions by mentioning that you are interested in a serious relationship that leads to marriage. This way, you will only get matches who have the same goal and similar mindset. When approaching people, instead of writing a simple Hi, try being a little more engaging and creative. For instance, you can pick out a portion of a match’s bio that intrigued you, and start a conversation on that. This shows that you have been attentive and not mindlessly scrolling.

Matrimonial apps or dating apps will give you more control on your love life, and these are amazing tools when used judiciously. My urge is that do not rush; even if you feel stuck, or it seems like everyone is settling down and yet you haven’t found the one, do not rush. Good things sometimes take time.

Hope this helps.