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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Mohini Question by Mohini on Dec 07, 2024
Relationship

Thanks for Answering my Question, Anu Ma'am... I agree with whatever you have said... I understand her situation & empathize with her Situation. I am willing to give her the Benefit of Doubt & Listen & Understand her side of the Story, without any Harsh Judgement. But she's not even willing to sit down for an Open-Heart Discussion with me. I prefer to have this difficult conversation by meeting her alone, personally, in a Safe Space where we get all the Privacy we need, not in either of our Homes, to avoid the intrusion of other Family Members. The main Reason for preferring a Personal Meeting over a Phone Call/WhatsApp Chat is that, I want to observe her Body Language & Facial Expressions keenly, to ascertain whether she's being truthful or not. And she might get emotional & break down, during the Sensitive conversation, I want to Hug her & Comfort her, so that she feels safe to open up to me, completely. But how can I Trust a Person, who isn't even willing to have an Open & Honest Conversation with me...!!!??? I like almost everything else about her, notwithstanding her Past & a part of me does want to Marry her, but I have many Questions about her Past & I need Honest Answers from her, to make an Informed Decision. But she's asking me to wait until we get Married & then she'd prove herself as a Worthy Wife. But I am afraid that it might be too late & at that point, it wouldn't be easy to undo the Marriage, just in case, I don't find her Honest & Trustworthy enough. I am exploring the option of Postponing the Wedding (citing some other Reason) so that we both get more time to sort this out. But the problem is, how do I get her to talk with me...!!!??? She's unwilling to come anywhere & meet me personally & I don't want to go to her Home & unnecessarily create a scene over there. Shall I threaten her that I'd tell my Parents about her Past & Cancel the Wedding, unless, she comes to meet me in person, for an Open & Honest Conversation? I wouldn't really do something so Harsh, but would this empty threat make her open up to me or have the Opposite effect? If you have a better Idea, please suggest me, how do I get her to meet me personally & Talk to me openly? I have another Question related to this, which I'll post after you Reply to this Question. Thanks in advance, Anu Ma'am ????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Again I say this...it's not easy speaking the truth and it's not easy hearing it either.
In both cases, the person involved absolutely needs to hear it from the other person that they are safe. Which means you cannot reassure her after she comes to have the conversation. This has to happen much before and it possibly is going to take some time.
And I still support you need to know...but do so gently...without bringing in your eruptions in emotions which is going to bring things down even more.
Even after attempting this, if you have doubts and it has begun to haunt you; there's a dilemma that you are going to be faced with. But, be patient and ease her into meeting with you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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Relationship
Hi, Warm Greetings!! Myself Rushabh (30) and my wife (29) -- she is an adopted child as her mother passed away while giving birth to her and her sister. They are twins with a minute's gap and her father got married to another woman. Later in 2012, her stepfather died and she was living with her stepmother. We both come from middle-class families. We being prospects for marriage our families were going through multiple biodatas every week. In this process, we shortlisted each other and decided to meet in person. Initially, we both met only once where I was impressed with her personality, optimism, communication skills, her matured behaviour, and decision-making skills. Post the first meeting we told our decisions to our families. Then both the families met and they decided the next course of action, i.e., our engagement date. In July 2021 we got engaged during COVID-induced lockdown. Considering my job and the distance we lived at, we could only meet on Sundays and used to have 2 to 3 hours long phone calls every night. Either way, she barely spoke to me and made me speak all the time and I told her everything about me. As she wasn't speaking much, my family thought that she might be an introvert and a bit hesitant to talk so we ignored it. We got married in November 2021. Now, it has been 2½ months since we got married. For the first 15 - 20 days we didn't bother her and allowed her to get settled in her new life and new home. Then eventually my mom started giving her small chores, which she couldn't perform, which is fine since she has not done any chore before. But now based on her behaviour I think she does not want a change or learn anything new. Honestly, we were not aware of her behaviour with her mom, nor of management skills and, her routine at her maternal home. Her behaviour is not like any normal girl of her age. She behaves like a child and gets amused by silly and normal things. When the whole family is hanging out together she doesn’t talk at all. When we talk about general things she takes it negatively on herself, she doesn’t even eat properly, nor speak about her likes and dislikes in any aspect with even me. She never expresses herself in any way and rather takes everything negatively, which has made us more cautious and worried as to what to speak in front of her or what to tell her. So we individually (I, my mom, dad and sister) started to confront her gently and guide her in everything from scratch (like we teach a toddler) but she is not responding at all.We don't know whether she is doing this intentionally or not. On top of it when she talks to anyone apart from the 4 of us she speaks in a very mature and practical manner that no one can ever second guess her behaviour with us. Considering our ages, I am afraid that our relationship might be jeopardized because of her behaviour. She had thought multiple times to end her life or to call a meeting with all elders and get separated (she gave me an indirect hint). This is much worrisome for all of us as nobody can cope with the situation in the hand.I will be able to explain everything in much more detail if we can connect over a phone call or we can meet virtually/in-person.
Ans:

Dear RR,

This possibly could be because of being emotionally cut off at birth from her mother.

Now, I am unaware of the relationship that she shares with her stepmother and the way that she was raised.

Was that relationship where her stepmother was emotionally always available to her?

Or did she feel cut off yet again?

Maybe this feeling of being cut off repeatedly explains why she might not want to develop very strong bonds with you and your family members for the fear of losing each of you and going through that pain all over again.

That’s why she might relate better to people that she isn’t close to as she has nothing to lose.

Time for her to resolve those unresolved emotions and the drama that flows with it; better NOW than later.

Can you speak with her and have her work with a therapist? It will help as it will set her free and recreate a new bond within your marriage.

Kindly reach out on an email, if you need my expertise.

Thank you and all the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What made the ex-bf come and disrupt things? Is this his way of getting back at his ex-gf (your soon to be wife)?
I would not trust his intentions...at the same time, now that you know, you have the right to actually talk to her and clarify things. She needs to respect your need to know; but did it occur to you that she might have not opened up with you as she has been afraid of this confrontation?

Many people have a past and it may not be pleasant and in this case, that's what it seems like...if she is hesitant, reassuring her and giving her a comfort space to open up maybe the best thing to do. She needs to know that she is safe with you to share and she may tell you everything. Now, how you use that information is left to your wisdom BUT do not judge people based on their past. Why I say this is: I do not trust the ex-bf's intentions coming to you and close to the wedding sharing information that suggests that he might be out to destroy her reputation.

Now whether you must blindly trust her or not, is something that you ask yourself. If you are willing to set things aside and hear her version of the story and then either you trust or you don't; no conditions apply. That is your choice...But when you make a choice of trusting, then DO NOT look back...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 11, 2024

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Relationship
Thanks again, Kanchan Ma'am... I agree with whatever you have said... I understand her situation & empathize with her Situation. I am willing to give her the Benefit of Doubt & Listen & Understand her side of the Story, without any Harsh Judgement. But she's not even willing to sit down for an Open-Heart Discussion with me. I prefer to have this difficult conversation by meeting her alone, personally, in a Safe Space where we get all the Privacy we need, not in either of our Homes, to avoid the intrusion of other Family Members. The main Reason for preferring a Personal Meeting over a Phone Call/WhatsApp Chat is that, I want to observe her Body Language & Facial Expressions keenly, to ascertain whether she's being truthful or not. And she might get emotional & break down, during the Sensitive conversation, I want to Hug her & Comfort her, so that she feels safe to open up to me, completely. But how can I Trust a Person, who isn't even willing to have an Open & Honest Conversation with me...!!!??? I like almost everything else about her, notwithstanding her Past & a part of me does want to Marry her, but I have many Questions about her Past & I need Honest Answers from her, to make an Informed Decision. But she's asking me to wait until we get Married & then she'd prove herself as a Worthy Wife. But I am afraid that it might be too late & at that point, it wouldn't be easy to undo the Marriage, just in case, I don't find her Honest & Trustworthy enough. I am exploring the option of Postponing the Wedding (citing some other Reason) so that we both get more time to sort this out. But the problem is, how do I get her to talk with me...!!!??? She's unwilling to come anywhere & meet me personally & I don't want to go to her Home & unnecessarily create a scene over there. Shall I threaten her that I'd tell my Parents about her Past & Cancel the Wedding, unless, she comes to meet me in person, for an Open & Honest Conversation? I wouldn't really do something so Harsh, but would this empty threat make her open up to me or have the Opposite effect? If you have a better Idea, please suggest me, how do I get her to meet me personally & Talk to me openly? Thanks in advance, Kanchan Ma'am...
Ans: Your fiancée’s reluctance to meet and discuss the matter might stem from fear, shame, or uncertainty about how you’ll react. She may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of confronting the past, worried that no matter what she says, it could jeopardize the relationship. While this doesn’t excuse her unwillingness to communicate, it does offer insight into her possible mindset.

Using threats, even if empty, is not the best approach. While it might prompt a reaction, it risks deepening her mistrust and could escalate the situation unnecessarily. Building trust requires patience and empathy, even in difficult moments. Instead of issuing ultimatums, focus on creating an environment where she feels safe to open up.

You could start by reaching out to her in a calm, understanding tone, perhaps through a message or phone call. Express your intentions clearly—let her know you’re not seeking to judge or punish her for her past but simply want to understand her better so you can move forward with clarity and trust. Reassure her that this conversation isn’t about ending the relationship but strengthening it. For example, you might say:

“I know this is a sensitive topic, and I understand why you might feel hesitant to talk about it. But it’s really important to me that we have an honest conversation before taking this big step in our lives. I care about you, and I want us to start our marriage on a foundation of trust and understanding. Can we meet somewhere private and talk openly? I promise to listen without judgment.”

If she still refuses, you might suggest involving a neutral third party she trusts—perhaps a friend, family member, or counselor—to mediate the conversation. This could help her feel less vulnerable and more supported during such a challenging discussion.

Postponing the wedding could also be a wise decision if you feel the current timeline doesn’t allow enough space to address these unresolved issues. Framing the delay as an opportunity for both of you to strengthen your relationship rather than as a punishment or doubt about her character can help ease tensions.

Ultimately, your goal is to build mutual trust and understanding, and that requires willingness from both sides. While you can’t force her to open up, you can make every effort to show her that you’re approaching this with compassion and a desire to move forward together. If she continues to resist, it’s worth reflecting on whether this relationship is built on the transparency and collaboration you value.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |629 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I (30M) have been in the process of Arranged Marriage, screening prospective matches. Out of all the Women I'd met, there's this one Woman (28F) with whom I'm able to get along quite well. She's quite good in almost all aspects such as Appearance, Personality, Education, Career, Social & Emotional Intelligence etc. and our Interests & aspirations for Future, also align to a great extent. It seems Feasible that we build a Life together. Even she seems to be interested in me. But there's one major problem. She doesn't seem to be Trusting me well enough to open up to me, completely. We've interacting with each other since a Few Months, over Social Media, WhatsApp Messages, Phone Calls & even met each other personally on several Dates & spent good time together, understanding each other. We've discussed almost all the important aspects required for leading a Fruitful Married Life, such as, Finances, Family Affairs, Children, Future Plans in terms of Career & Personal Life, Our Travelling Bucket Lists etc & we seem to be quite compatible on almost all these aspects. But there's one aspect that she's not willing to Share with me openly. That's about her Past Relationship(s) & Sexual History. I had brought up this topic for the first time on a Date, when we'd spent over a Month in Courtship & were meeting each other in person for the 5th time. I started off by telling her that I had not been involved in any Romantic Relationship(s) either Serious or Casual, during my College Years or in my Early to Mid 20's as I had been going through a lot struggles, during that Age and I had started meeting up with Ladies only since the past 2-3 Years, after I was settled well in a stable Career & got Serious about Marriage. And obviously, I am a Virgin. When I asked her to share about her Past, she excused herself & left, abruptly ending our Date. I understood that she might not be feeling comfortable with opening up at this stage. I profusely apologized if I'd crossed my Limits, unknowingly & asked her to meet up for another Date, after a week, wherein I Reassured her that whatever is discussed between the both of us regarding sensitive personal matters, shall only remain between the both of us & need not be shared with anyone else (including Parents). She agreed with me but still didn't open up about her Past. I waited Patiently giving her few more weeks' time to open up as per her Convenience, but she never did. Whenever I brought up this sensitive topic again, she'd either change the Topic or make some Excuse to Leave, ending our interaction abruptly. I still maintained Patience & kept Reassuring her gently, that I want to know about her Past, not to Judge her, but only to understand her better. Still she seemed reluctant to open up about her Past, but is actively conversing on any other Topic. The last time we'd met personally was on a Dinner Date, a week ago. When I gently raised the Topic again, she seemed to get somewhat irritated & asked me "How does my Past, really matter to you?" I Replied that it is very much important for me to know everything about her Past, to be able to Trust her completely & take the Relationship ahead and once again I reminded her of both my Promises that I would listen to her with empathy & understanding without Judgement and that I would maintain utmost Secrecy with Respect to her Sensitive Personal Matters. Still she seemed avoidant about the Uncomfortable Conversation & tried to Gaslight me as if I'm Disrespecting her Personal Boundaries. Our Date ended on an unpleasant note & since then our Interaction over WhatsApp has been just minimal. I don't understand what's the matter with her, she never Shied away from discussing any other Important topic & communicated her views, quite effectively, giving me the Impression that she's a Matured Person, but I don't understand why she's so reluctant to open up on this Important topic, in spite of repeated Reassurances from my side. Please advise me, how do I proceed with this Sensitive issue? I am very much into her & wouldn't want to throw away such a Wonderful prospect as we seem to be getting along, quite well, with each other. At the same time, I feel the need to know everything about her Past Relationship(s) including her Sexual History, so that I can be sure about certain things, which greatly matter to me. My Gut Instinct refuses to Trust & Accept her completely, without this missing piece of Jigsaw Puzzle. I'm in great Dilemma now, any Qualitative Advice from Experienced People would be greatly appreciated.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns but it might be nice if you understand her concerns as well. While most people promise to neither judge nor share sensitive details, they rarely keep their promise, especially when the experiences are coming from a woman. Her reluctance about sharing her past with you might be stemming from the same.
To be honest, the past should not matter as much as the present but since it is important to you, I would recommend you open up about it directly to her, expressing how her not opening up is stopping you from trusting her completely. If she still does not want to talk about it, I don't see any scenario where it would be the right choice to push her about it again. You have only met her and things are yet to be official. In that case, you should rethink this alliance. Secrecy might be important to her as much as knowing every detail is important to you. Neither is wrong here. Do not rush into any conclusion and speak to her first. Meet up exclusively for this discussion and see where things go from there.
Hope this helps

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, My home loan is 24.5 LAC. And it's started from last year April 2024, my emi is 30,600 per month for 10 years, if i paid 10 LAC in Jan 2026 it will be beneficial for me or wait for sometime to pay pre closure amount
Ans: Your question is very timely and thoughtful.

You have already completed over one year of EMI payments.

You are also planning a Rs. 10 lakh prepayment in Jan 2026.

This shows strong discipline and intention to reduce debt early.

That is highly appreciated.

Let’s evaluate the benefit from all angles before making the decision.

Let’s assess your EMI schedule, tax benefits, interest savings, and liquidity needs.

We will also look at emotional peace, risk readiness, and overall financial health.

» EMI Tenure and Loan Progress

– Your loan began in April 2024. EMI is Rs. 30,600 for 10 years.

– By Jan 2026, you would have paid 21 EMIs. That is nearly 2 years of repayment.

– You would still have around 99 EMIs pending after Jan 2026.

– Most interest is paid in the first few years. That’s how home loan schedules work.

– So prepayment at this stage can save you substantial interest.

– But, the benefit must be compared with your other financial needs.

– This is not only about saving interest. It is about holistic financial planning.

» Interest Cost Evaluation and Savings Opportunity

– Your home loan interest rate is not mentioned. But let us assume a normal range.

– Most floating-rate loans now charge 8.5% to 9.5% annually.

– Prepaying Rs. 10 lakhs will reduce the outstanding principal sharply.

– As a result, the total interest over the loan period will reduce.

– You may save many lakhs over the long term by doing this early prepayment.

– You will also reduce your EMI period or future EMI amount.

– That helps you become debt-free faster.

– But, timing matters. January 2026 is still over 5 months away.

– You must consider where that Rs. 10 lakhs is now kept.

– Is it earning anything? If kept idle in savings, it gives low returns.

– In that case, prepayment gives better value.

– But if it is growing in mutual funds or long-term instruments, returns may be higher.

– Compare this interest cost versus what you earn from that Rs. 10 lakh.

– You must also think about safety, peace of mind, and future stability.

» Tax Benefits on Home Loan and Prepayment Impact

– Under Sec 24(b), you get deduction of up to Rs. 2 lakhs on home loan interest.

– This reduces your taxable income. Helps especially if you are in the 20% or 30% slab.

– Also, under Sec 80C, you get Rs. 1.5 lakh deduction for principal.

– But that Rs. 1.5 lakh 80C is usually covered by EPF, PPF, insurance, ELSS, etc.

– If you prepay Rs. 10 lakh, your interest in future years may fall.

– Then, the Rs. 2 lakh interest deduction under Sec 24(b) may not be fully used.

– But remember, you are spending Rs. 10 lakhs to save Rs. 2-3 lakhs of tax.

– That alone should not decide the choice.

– Interest saved is usually more than tax benefit lost in the long run.

– Prepayment still makes sense. But only if you are not compromising other goals.

– Always assess tax benefit as a secondary aspect, not the main reason.

» Your Liquidity and Emergency Readiness

– The biggest question is: Will you have enough money left after prepayment?

– Will you still have emergency funds of 6 to 12 months of expenses?

– Will you have cash for job loss, health issues, or family needs?

– Rs. 10 lakh is a big amount. Once paid, you cannot get it back easily.

– Banks do not refund prepayments. So you must be ready for cash crunch.

– If you have other liquid savings of at least Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs, then it is safe.

– But if this Rs. 10 lakh is your full backup, wait before prepaying.

– You must not become asset-rich but cash-poor.

– Also, do not disturb investments set for your long-term goals.

– Check how your mutual funds, PF, PPF, child goals, and retirement are aligned.

– Your financial safety net should never be at risk due to a home loan prepayment.

» Emotional Peace and Debt Reduction Mindset

– Paying off loans early gives peace of mind.

– Mentally, it feels lighter to reduce your EMI burden.

– For many families, freedom from loans matters more than returns from investment.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required for your next 5 years, then prepaying is peaceful.

– But if the same money is helping you sleep better by keeping it in hand, wait.

– Your comfort and security are more important than any math.

– Financial planning is not only numbers. It is also emotional readiness.

– A good Certified Financial Planner balances both head and heart.

– If you feel better seeing lesser EMIs or faster closure, then go ahead with prepayment.

– If you fear losing liquidity or missing opportunities, then wait.

– In either case, the aim is to stay financially strong, not just interest-efficient.

» Other Choices to Use That Rs. 10 Lakh

– If you are not fully prepared for long-term goals, this Rs. 10 lakh may help.

– Retirement corpus, child education, spouse goals — all need investment.

– If those are underfunded, invest this Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds.

– But not in index funds or direct funds.

– Index funds may look cheap, but they follow the market blindly.

– They underperform in volatile or sideways markets.

– Actively managed mutual funds by experienced managers adapt better.

– Direct funds also seem cheaper on surface.

– But there is no support, guidance, or review.

– Regular plans through a qualified MFD with CFP guidance add long-term value.

– The extra 0.5% cost gives better selection, periodic review, and mistake-avoidance.

– That brings better return than direct, unmanaged investing.

– So if you delay prepayment, don’t keep that Rs. 10 lakh idle.

– Put it to work through a long-term, diversified, tax-aware mutual fund portfolio.

– Match it to your goals, age, and risk appetite.

– Use only debt funds for less than 3 years. Use equity for more than 5 years.

– Also follow the updated capital gains tax rules now in force.

– These will apply when you exit mutual funds later.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required in near future, investing may grow your wealth.

– If this feels unsafe, then home loan prepayment is still a good call.

» Ideal Approach Based on Situation

– If you have no major upcoming expense, then early prepayment is useful.

– If your emergency fund is untouched, then this move is secure.

– If your long-term goals are already funded, prepayment clears debt faster.

– If interest rate is above 9%, prepayment becomes even more beneficial.

– If job is stable and no income interruption is foreseen, go ahead.

– But if any of these are weak or uncertain, do not hurry.

– Wait for 6-12 months. Observe how rates, income, and expenses move.

– Meanwhile, invest that Rs. 10 lakh in a short-term fund with liquidity.

– Let that money earn better than savings account.

– If situation remains strong by Jan 2026, you may prepay with full confidence.

– Else, you can decide again at that point based on comfort and readiness.

– Either way, you are still progressing.

– Both options — prepayment or investing — are productive, if handled with thought.

» Finally

– You are thinking in the right direction. That’s the best start already.

– You are not ignoring the EMI burden. You want to plan ahead.

– That is very encouraging.

– Do not feel forced to prepay or delay.

– The right answer depends on your comfort, liquidity, and goals.

– Early prepayment is good if your financial base is ready.

– But there is no harm in waiting a few more months and reassessing.

– Peace and clarity are more important than urgency.

– You can also take part prepayment route. Pay Rs. 5 lakh in Jan 2026.

– Keep another Rs. 5 lakh for emergency or mutual fund.

– That brings the best of both.

– Stay debt-free, but also stay liquid and goal-focused.

– A Certified Financial Planner can help you model both paths and take balanced action.

– The right move is one that fits your full financial picture — not just the EMI part.

– Keep going strong.

– You are already ahead of many by asking this question today.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 35yrs old and my monthly salary is 75k. I am married and I have family health insurance of 10 lakhs, I have a daughter and a son and we are expecting the third child in the month of December. I have started with SIP of 1k 3 months back. I am taking mortgage loan of 30 lakhs on the house for 13 % interest from IIFL kindly suggest me to utilise the loan amount properly in various ways possible to invest. I am planning to utilise for the coaching centre development and 10 lakhs is taken for my brothers kidney transplant treatment expenditure.
Ans: – You are managing family, career, and investments together.
– Starting SIP early is a very positive step.
– Taking responsibility for your brother’s treatment shows great strength.
– Planning coaching centre development is a wise idea.
– Having family health cover is also a good base already.

» Analysing the Loan and Its High Interest Rate

– Rs. 30 lakhs loan at 13% interest is quite costly.
– This means high EMI and high total interest outgo.
– Every rupee must be used carefully to avoid wastage.
– Unused funds from the loan must not sit idle.
– Interest burden will continue regardless of usage.

» Immediate Medical Emergency for Brother

– Rs. 10 lakhs for kidney transplant is necessary and unavoidable.
– Keep this amount fully liquid and easily accessible.
– Use savings account or short-term ultra-safe debt fund.
– Avoid locking this amount in business or market-linked funds.
– Medical treatment should be done on priority basis.

» Business Development – Coaching Centre Use

– This is an opportunity for future income growth.
– Plan expansion only after checking location demand.
– Avoid spending large amount at once.
– Phase out business investments over 6 to 12 months.
– Start with essentials like rent, furniture, and staff salary.
– Don’t overspend on branding or decoration initially.
– Use part of loan in setting up technology and marketing.
– Focus on breakeven as early as possible.

» Avoid Spending Full Loan Immediately

– You are not forced to use all Rs. 30 lakhs now.
– Keep a part of loan in low-risk parking place.
– Use short-term debt fund or liquid fund with no exit load.
– Withdraw when business or medical needs arise.
– Don’t allow funds to lie in savings account earning low interest.

» Do Not Use Any Amount for Consumption

– Don’t use loan money for personal luxury or lifestyle.
– No electronics, jewellery, or vehicles from this loan.
– You are paying 13% interest, use it only for value creation.
– Avoid giving any part of the loan to others as casual support.

» Managing EMI Alongside Household Budget

– EMI on Rs. 30 lakhs at 13% will be heavy.
– Your Rs. 75k salary will face pressure from EMI, SIP, and family.
– Keep fixed monthly expenses under tight control.
– Review all regular spends and cut non-essentials.
– Prioritise needs over wants for the next 2–3 years.
– Increase SIP only once your EMI is manageable.

» Continue SIP with Discipline

– Though amount is small, your SIP builds wealth habit.
– Don’t stop SIP even if budget becomes tight.
– Increase SIP slowly as income rises.
– Choose actively managed funds, not index funds.
– Index funds don’t protect during market fall.
– Active funds adjust to changes and give better protection.

» Direct Funds Are Not Ideal for You

– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds.
– You get no personalised support or guidance there.
– Wrong decisions can damage long-term wealth.
– Invest via regular plans with an MFD and CFP.
– Get full-time advice, updates, and goal tracking help.

» Emergency Fund is Missing

– You must keep Rs. 1–2 lakhs aside for emergencies.
– This should not come from loan amount.
– Build this over next few months from salary savings.
– Use high-liquidity options like liquid mutual funds or sweep FD.

» Child-Related Future Expenses

– You are expecting third child soon.
– Future expenses like education and health will increase.
– Avoid touching SIP or business funds for school fees.
– Plan separate SIPs for kids’ education goal later.
– Maintain health insurance with maternity cover wherever possible.

» Keep Personal and Business Accounts Separate

– Don’t mix business and personal funds.
– Create a separate bank account for coaching centre.
– Record all income and expense in simple format.
– Use business income to slowly repay loan too.

» Loan Repayment Should Be a Priority

– Try to repay part of loan early if possible.
– Business profit can be used to prepay some part.
– Even Rs. 2–3 lakhs paid early will reduce interest burden.
– Don’t wait for full term of loan.
– Avoid taking another loan till this one is cleared.

» Don’t Invest Remaining Loan in Risky Options

– Don’t try to grow loan money via equity investments.
– You are paying 13% interest.
– Most equity returns are not guaranteed and are market linked.
– If returns go down, you still pay full interest.
– Use loan only for fixed needs like business or treatment.

» Avoid Insurance-Cum-Investment Products

– Don’t use loan money for buying ULIPs or endowment plans.
– They give poor returns and lock your money.
– They mix insurance with investment, which is harmful.
– If you already hold such plans, review and consider surrender.
– Use that money in good mutual funds for better results.

» Long-Term Financial Strategy After Loan Use

– Once business is running, start surplus-based SIPs.
– Create specific SIPs for child education and retirement.
– Review insurance needs again after third child is born.
– Don’t over-rely on health cover from employer.
– Take term insurance separately for family safety.

» Monitoring and Support

– Review all goals every 6 months.
– Track loan balance, business income, SIP growth.
– A CFP can support you across all financial areas.
– Work with MFD for implementation and fund advice.

» Finally

– You are taking bold and smart steps under pressure.
– Rs. 10 lakhs for brother’s health is unavoidable.
– Use it only for that and keep it liquid.
– Use balance money gradually for coaching centre.
– Don’t spend full Rs. 30 lakhs in one go.
– Avoid luxury or emotional spending with loan money.
– Keep EMI low by avoiding misuse of loan.
– Continue SIP without fail.
– Avoid index funds and direct funds.
– Use only actively managed mutual funds through MFD.
– Repay loan as early as possible.
– Start new SIPs once income improves.
– Maintain strong financial habits and discipline.
– Your future will surely improve with right planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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