Thanks for Answering my Question, Anu Ma'am... I agree with whatever you have said... I understand her situation & empathize with her Situation. I am willing to give her the Benefit of Doubt & Listen & Understand her side of the Story, without any Harsh Judgement. But she's not even willing to sit down for an Open-Heart Discussion with me. I prefer to have this difficult conversation by meeting her alone, personally, in a Safe Space where we get all the Privacy we need, not in either of our Homes, to avoid the intrusion of other Family Members. The main Reason for preferring a Personal Meeting over a Phone Call/WhatsApp Chat is that, I want to observe her Body Language & Facial Expressions keenly, to ascertain whether she's being truthful or not. And she might get emotional & break down, during the Sensitive conversation, I want to Hug her & Comfort her, so that she feels safe to open up to me, completely. But how can I Trust a Person, who isn't even willing to have an Open & Honest Conversation with me...!!!??? I like almost everything else about her, notwithstanding her Past & a part of me does want to Marry her, but I have many Questions about her Past & I need Honest Answers from her, to make an Informed Decision. But she's asking me to wait until we get Married & then she'd prove herself as a Worthy Wife. But I am afraid that it might be too late & at that point, it wouldn't be easy to undo the Marriage, just in case, I don't find her Honest & Trustworthy enough. I am exploring the option of Postponing the Wedding (citing some other Reason) so that we both get more time to sort this out. But the problem is, how do I get her to talk with me...!!!??? She's unwilling to come anywhere & meet me personally & I don't want to go to her Home & unnecessarily create a scene over there. Shall I threaten her that I'd tell my Parents about her Past & Cancel the Wedding, unless, she comes to meet me in person, for an Open & Honest Conversation? I wouldn't really do something so Harsh, but would this empty threat make her open up to me or have the Opposite effect? If you have a better Idea, please suggest me, how do I get her to meet me personally & Talk to me openly? I have another Question related to this, which I'll post after you Reply to this Question. Thanks in advance, Anu Ma'am ????

I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?

I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?

Thanks again, Kanchan Ma'am... I agree with whatever you have said... I understand her situation & empathize with her Situation. I am willing to give her the Benefit of Doubt & Listen & Understand her side of the Story, without any Harsh Judgement. But she's not even willing to sit down for an Open-Heart Discussion with me. I prefer to have this difficult conversation by meeting her alone, personally, in a Safe Space where we get all the Privacy we need, not in either of our Homes, to avoid the intrusion of other Family Members. The main Reason for preferring a Personal Meeting over a Phone Call/WhatsApp Chat is that, I want to observe her Body Language & Facial Expressions keenly, to ascertain whether she's being truthful or not. And she might get emotional & break down, during the Sensitive conversation, I want to Hug her & Comfort her, so that she feels safe to open up to me, completely. But how can I Trust a Person, who isn't even willing to have an Open & Honest Conversation with me...!!!??? I like almost everything else about her, notwithstanding her Past & a part of me does want to Marry her, but I have many Questions about her Past & I need Honest Answers from her, to make an Informed Decision. But she's asking me to wait until we get Married & then she'd prove herself as a Worthy Wife. But I am afraid that it might be too late & at that point, it wouldn't be easy to undo the Marriage, just in case, I don't find her Honest & Trustworthy enough. I am exploring the option of Postponing the Wedding (citing some other Reason) so that we both get more time to sort this out. But the problem is, how do I get her to talk with me...!!!??? She's unwilling to come anywhere & meet me personally & I don't want to go to her Home & unnecessarily create a scene over there. Shall I threaten her that I'd tell my Parents about her Past & Cancel the Wedding, unless, she comes to meet me in person, for an Open & Honest Conversation? I wouldn't really do something so Harsh, but would this empty threat make her open up to me or have the Opposite effect? If you have a better Idea, please suggest me, how do I get her to meet me personally & Talk to me openly? Thanks in advance, Kanchan Ma'am...

I (30M) have been in the process of Arranged Marriage, screening prospective matches. Out of all the Women I'd met, there's this one Woman (28F) with whom I'm able to get along quite well. She's quite good in almost all aspects such as Appearance, Personality, Education, Career, Social & Emotional Intelligence etc. and our Interests & aspirations for Future, also align to a great extent. It seems Feasible that we build a Life together. Even she seems to be interested in me. But there's one major problem. She doesn't seem to be Trusting me well enough to open up to me, completely. We've interacting with each other since a Few Months, over Social Media, WhatsApp Messages, Phone Calls & even met each other personally on several Dates & spent good time together, understanding each other. We've discussed almost all the important aspects required for leading a Fruitful Married Life, such as, Finances, Family Affairs, Children, Future Plans in terms of Career & Personal Life, Our Travelling Bucket Lists etc & we seem to be quite compatible on almost all these aspects. But there's one aspect that she's not willing to Share with me openly. That's about her Past Relationship(s) & Sexual History. I had brought up this topic for the first time on a Date, when we'd spent over a Month in Courtship & were meeting each other in person for the 5th time. I started off by telling her that I had not been involved in any Romantic Relationship(s) either Serious or Casual, during my College Years or in my Early to Mid 20's as I had been going through a lot struggles, during that Age and I had started meeting up with Ladies only since the past 2-3 Years, after I was settled well in a stable Career & got Serious about Marriage. And obviously, I am a Virgin. When I asked her to share about her Past, she excused herself & left, abruptly ending our Date. I understood that she might not be feeling comfortable with opening up at this stage. I profusely apologized if I'd crossed my Limits, unknowingly & asked her to meet up for another Date, after a week, wherein I Reassured her that whatever is discussed between the both of us regarding sensitive personal matters, shall only remain between the both of us & need not be shared with anyone else (including Parents). She agreed with me but still didn't open up about her Past. I waited Patiently giving her few more weeks' time to open up as per her Convenience, but she never did. Whenever I brought up this sensitive topic again, she'd either change the Topic or make some Excuse to Leave, ending our interaction abruptly. I still maintained Patience & kept Reassuring her gently, that I want to know about her Past, not to Judge her, but only to understand her better. Still she seemed reluctant to open up about her Past, but is actively conversing on any other Topic. The last time we'd met personally was on a Dinner Date, a week ago. When I gently raised the Topic again, she seemed to get somewhat irritated & asked me "How does my Past, really matter to you?" I Replied that it is very much important for me to know everything about her Past, to be able to Trust her completely & take the Relationship ahead and once again I reminded her of both my Promises that I would listen to her with empathy & understanding without Judgement and that I would maintain utmost Secrecy with Respect to her Sensitive Personal Matters. Still she seemed avoidant about the Uncomfortable Conversation & tried to Gaslight me as if I'm Disrespecting her Personal Boundaries. Our Date ended on an unpleasant note & since then our Interaction over WhatsApp has been just minimal. I don't understand what's the matter with her, she never Shied away from discussing any other Important topic & communicated her views, quite effectively, giving me the Impression that she's a Matured Person, but I don't understand why she's so reluctant to open up on this Important topic, in spite of repeated Reassurances from my side. Please advise me, how do I proceed with this Sensitive issue? I am very much into her & wouldn't want to throw away such a Wonderful prospect as we seem to be getting along, quite well, with each other. At the same time, I feel the need to know everything about her Past Relationship(s) including her Sexual History, so that I can be sure about certain things, which greatly matter to me. My Gut Instinct refuses to Trust & Accept her completely, without this missing piece of Jigsaw Puzzle. I'm in great Dilemma now, any Qualitative Advice from Experienced People would be greatly appreciated.