My spouse has a very strange ailment..whenever he sees any new female he wants to have relation with her and if he manages then he continues for a yr or at the most half and then finds a new and forgets the old. He says he is not able to give up his this addiction and it's beyond his control. Does such ailment really exists. I feel he is a womeniser. We are separated for last 5 yrs as not able to accept such character. He cooperated to go for councelling n had several visual psychological tests done also. But suddenly he refused to follow up. Pls help as is he really suffering? How do I treat him???

Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you. Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago. Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married. Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also. He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life. Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together. Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner. I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation. I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on. Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too. I am completely confused about what should I do. I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things. Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

Hello mam, I have come to know about you through an article I read online. I am mailing you regarding my problem. Please make it anonymous. I'm married for 10 years. I have a son who is 6 years old. After my delivery, my husband distanced me. Since then, we use to fight a lot. Both of us are abusive and there is no physical relation between us. I told the same to my parents, and they suggested that I adjust keeping in mind the society and asked me to try for a job to deviate my mind. Once I checked my husband phone and there was a history of homosexual p**n videos. When I asked him the same, he refused. There is no happiness and only fights. I have even made suicidal attempts and was admitted to the hospital for taking expired pills. I’m an old traditioned woman, unable to move out of marriage as I can’t handle being alone. At the same time, I am unable to understand my husband’s behaviour. He is saying he will be like that only, If you want you can stay or leave. He will not tell me anything about his family – when his father passed away due to covid, he left home without telling me. I knew about it from other relatives.

i had a love marriage 20 years back. we were in a relationship for 3years before that. but after marriage i realised the harsh reality. though we are in the same field, he prefers that i do all the househld work. we have two children 17 and 12 years old. he has also started neglecting his health. after work his only work is to sit on sofa , watch tv. he has gained a lot of weight, has started eating pan masala which i dislike. we also had no sex for the last four years. when confronted he always says that he is in no mood. last year i came in contact with his friend and once we had sex too. but the sad part is i dont really feel guilty about it. i have tried many times to talk to my husband about our sex life but he always ignores and put the blame on me that i have started growing old. however hard i try he is not able to have a erection, this frustrates me even more. he is very dominating at home too. what should i do ? everytime i try to think to move out of that marriage but am afraid of the society. since he is very caring in front of others. am worried about the kids too. please help what should i do? there is no use of talking to him, i have tried it many times. he is not ready to go to any councellor too.

Hi Anu, I'm 53 years and have been married for the past 27 years. I have a 25 year daughter. I am well educated (MBA) and my husband has just barely passed his BA. My husband used to be very short tempered and shout at me for every other thing since the beginning of our marriage. Also he used to do the same to our daughter. He also has a thing for women other than me/daughter...He loves staring at servants especially when they bend down, or while travelling in a train he likes watching girls/ladies climbing on the upper berth, or peeping into an autorickshaw to check out the lady inside. He also loves helping out ladies, (like their saviour) and will go to any extent even late at night to help them out (like carrying a sick colleague to the doctor, or finding a PG for a female person). He has even gone on tour with his lady colleague and called her home for office work when I and my daughter were at our native. Also he has given rides to female colleagues on the back of his scooter. He loves chatting up receptionists (be it at the doctor's or any other office) and joking with them. He is also obsessive with the personal problems of his brothers/their wives and their kids...giving them far more importance over and above us. Especially since the past 2 years when he lost his job due to corona pandemic, he has time now and will call them day in and day out trying to solve their problems and has also prayed ceaselessly for them, asked various astrologers for parihara for their problems etc. He is not at all worried about his own family facing a breakdown and no income. He is trying to start a cool-drink business with his partner but that is getting delayed because of the rainy season. I had visited a psychiatrist many years ago and he said I shouldn't take it so personally since this happens all the time where men and women interact in office and we can't prevent it. But I believe he is excessive in his interest in the opp sex, and he also treats me in a demeaning/derogatory manner...like trying to dominate over me and suppress me through the tone of his voice and shouting and trying to be one up. I have borne all this for 27 years for my daughter's sake and now that she is independent, I would like to separate from him for my own mental and physical health. My nature is mild and I do not like confrontations so I just end up crying. I am also not strong emotionally. I am already on anxiety and BP medication, and also get palpitations when I get upset. Please advise me Anu, on should I proceed with this separation. Marital counselling is ruled out since he will never attend it thinking that he is all perfect and I am the one having problems. My daughter is coming next week and she will support me fully in whatever decision I take. Thank you so much for your time and patience.

My friend is married with 2 children..Thing is even after married with 2 children he is going to prostitute twice in a month.Kindly advice what can be done to come out from this menace.Have been trying to make him come out but still very difficult for him.Have took him to pilgrimage 2 to 3 times a year but of no use.. Please advice