Constant Arguments with Girlfriend: A Sign of Deeper Issues?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

The best way to overcome this problem is open and honest discussions about the same. Tell your partner directly but politely that you have been feeling a lack of communication in your relationship. Let them know that it has been bothering you for a while. Your partner might understand your concerns and work on bettering their communication style, or they might not get or share your feelings. Either way, you must convey your worries. If things go south, you have to accept that this relationship would not have worked in the longer run; nothing works smoothly without proper communication, especially when two people's communication style is poles apart. Whatever the consequence, you have to have the talk.

Having said it all, let me add that sharing every minute detail of your life is not proper communication either. Some parts can be, rather, should be kept to yourself. It will keep you from finding your relationship mundane. A little air of mystery is always good in a long-term relationship.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

Ans: It’s never easy to adjust to living together, that’s the hardest part of a relationship. And if you’re having so much trouble so early on, you don’t sound very compatible to me. If you gave me examples of what you fight about, I may be better placed to help you. But here’s the golden rule if you both want to get along under the same roof: housework is NOT the woman’s responsibility. She’s working, you’re working. It’s the same at home. She lives there, so do you. Pick up after yourselves and halve the duties for everything. No clothes and personal items lying around. Everything in its place. If one cooks, the other does the dishes. Own up to your mistakes, both of you, and make a real effort to end bad habits on both sides.

Ans: It’s clear that you deeply care about your partner and the health of your relationship, but recurring arguments and a lack of expressed love are creating a disconnect. To nurture love and clarity in your communication, it’s essential to create an emotional space where both of you feel safe, valued, and understood—even during disagreements.

When arguments arise, they often escalate because emotions are heightened, and both people feel the need to defend their perspective. To shift this dynamic, start by focusing on emotional regulation in those moments. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re both on the same team, even if you see things differently. This small pause can prevent reactive words or actions that might escalate the conflict further.

Outside of conflicts, consider the daily emotional climate of your relationship. If love isn’t being expressed regularly, your partner may feel insecure or disconnected, which can intensify disagreements. Begin to nurture love by weaving simple but heartfelt expressions of care into your everyday interactions. This might be as simple as saying, “I appreciate you,” giving a warm hug, or acknowledging something they did, however small. These gestures build emotional reserves that make handling tough conversations easier because they remind both of you of the underlying bond.

When it comes to communication, try reframing the way you approach disagreements. Speak from your feelings rather than placing blame. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re not listening to me,” try, “I feel unheard, and it’s making me frustrated.” This subtle but powerful shift fosters understanding rather than defensiveness. Equally important is listening with an open mind. Practice reflecting back what your partner shares to show you’re truly hearing them. For example, “I hear that you’re upset because you feel I didn’t prioritize you—am I understanding that correctly?”

Love is nurtured in the moments between conflicts—through trust, small acts of kindness, and consistent emotional support. Reflect on what makes your partner feel loved and cherished, and intentionally incorporate those actions into your daily life. At the same time, share what you need emotionally so they understand how to nurture you too. This mutual exchange strengthens your connection and creates a deeper sense of partnership.

Finally, consider having a calm, heartfelt conversation about how you both want to handle conflicts and express love moving forward. Creating shared goals for your relationship can bring clarity and purpose, helping you both feel aligned. By approaching your relationship with patience, empathy, and intentional care, you can not only resolve current challenges but also nurture a love that feels steady, secure, and fulfilling.