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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Prakriti Question by Prakriti on Mar 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

How can i improve my communication with my partner

Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I argue with my partner, it quickly escalates into something bigger than it should be. I don't express how much I love them, but I feel like our communication is breaking down. How can I improve this situation?
Ans: It’s clear that you deeply care about your partner and the health of your relationship, but recurring arguments and a lack of expressed love are creating a disconnect. To nurture love and clarity in your communication, it’s essential to create an emotional space where both of you feel safe, valued, and understood—even during disagreements.

When arguments arise, they often escalate because emotions are heightened, and both people feel the need to defend their perspective. To shift this dynamic, start by focusing on emotional regulation in those moments. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re both on the same team, even if you see things differently. This small pause can prevent reactive words or actions that might escalate the conflict further.

Outside of conflicts, consider the daily emotional climate of your relationship. If love isn’t being expressed regularly, your partner may feel insecure or disconnected, which can intensify disagreements. Begin to nurture love by weaving simple but heartfelt expressions of care into your everyday interactions. This might be as simple as saying, “I appreciate you,” giving a warm hug, or acknowledging something they did, however small. These gestures build emotional reserves that make handling tough conversations easier because they remind both of you of the underlying bond.

When it comes to communication, try reframing the way you approach disagreements. Speak from your feelings rather than placing blame. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re not listening to me,” try, “I feel unheard, and it’s making me frustrated.” This subtle but powerful shift fosters understanding rather than defensiveness. Equally important is listening with an open mind. Practice reflecting back what your partner shares to show you’re truly hearing them. For example, “I hear that you’re upset because you feel I didn’t prioritize you—am I understanding that correctly?”

Love is nurtured in the moments between conflicts—through trust, small acts of kindness, and consistent emotional support. Reflect on what makes your partner feel loved and cherished, and intentionally incorporate those actions into your daily life. At the same time, share what you need emotionally so they understand how to nurture you too. This mutual exchange strengthens your connection and creates a deeper sense of partnership.

Finally, consider having a calm, heartfelt conversation about how you both want to handle conflicts and express love moving forward. Creating shared goals for your relationship can bring clarity and purpose, helping you both feel aligned. By approaching your relationship with patience, empathy, and intentional care, you can not only resolve current challenges but also nurture a love that feels steady, secure, and fulfilling.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8327 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Money
Dear Sir, I am 55 and I am a stage 4 cancer patient for the past 5 years. Presently working with a salary of Rs.30 LPA. I have Rs.75 L in SB account. Rs.25 L in shares out of which Rs.12 L is loss. Rs.12 L in mutual funds. Rs.3 L in EPF. No commitments or liabilities. I need to know how I can get Rs. 70 K per month in case I lose my job. Kindly advise.
Ans: I truly appreciate your courage and clarity even in the face of health challenges. With your current financial resources and the need to secure a monthly income of Rs. 70,000, a detailed and careful plan is very much possible.

Let me give you a full 360-degree solution below, step-by-step.

Understanding Your Present Financial Picture
You are 55 years old and have been living with stage 4 cancer for 5 years.

You are still employed and drawing a salary of Rs. 30 lakhs per year.

You have Rs. 75 lakhs in your savings bank account.

You hold Rs. 25 lakhs in shares, with Rs. 12 lakhs in losses.

You have Rs. 12 lakhs in mutual funds.

Rs. 3 lakhs is in your EPF account.

You have no loans or financial commitments.

Your main concern is to receive Rs. 70,000 every month if the job stops.

You are not looking to take risks.

You want regular, reliable income without physical involvement.

Step 1: Emergency Medical and Health Fund
Health comes first. Keep money aside just for medical needs.

This fund should cover two years of your full household and medical costs.

Keep Rs. 15 to 20 lakhs aside for this purpose.

This money should be in ultra-safe places.

Prefer a savings bank account and liquid mutual funds.

This should remain untouched unless truly needed.

This emergency buffer gives peace and avoids panic in tough times.

Step 2: Generate Rs. 70,000 Monthly Income
Rs. 70,000 monthly means Rs. 8.4 lakhs needed per year.

Aim for post-tax cash flow from your investments.

Break your funds into income generation buckets.

Use your Rs. 75 lakhs from savings bank as the core capital.

Avoid keeping the full amount idle in SB account.

Allocate funds into low-risk, stable return instruments.

Prefer investment avenues offering quarterly or monthly payouts.

Choose options where you can withdraw in parts if needed.

Step 3: Structured Investment Allocation
Short-Term Bucket: 1 to 2 Years

Set aside Rs. 18 to 20 lakhs for short-term needs.

Put this money into highly liquid options.

Use only those that protect capital and give fixed income.

These funds will generate stable income for the next two years.

Prefer options offering monthly or quarterly payouts.

This will help replace your salary if job stops.

You don’t need to sell any shares or mutual funds right away.

You get time to think clearly, plan calmly.

Medium-Term Bucket: 3 to 5 Years

Keep around Rs. 25 to 30 lakhs here.

Invest in actively managed hybrid mutual funds.

Choose regular plans through a mutual fund distributor with CFP credentials.

Do not go for direct funds.

Direct plans do not come with personalised guidance.

There is no one to help you rebalance, switch or review.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner offer ongoing support.

With hybrid funds, risk is moderate and returns are better than FDs.

Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) to get monthly income.

You can set up SWP of Rs. 40,000 to 50,000 from this bucket.

These funds will last for years while also growing gradually.

Long-Term Bucket: 5+ Years

Keep Rs. 10 to 15 lakhs for the long-term.

This is not for current income, but for inflation beating growth.

Invest in actively managed large cap or balanced advantage funds.

Again, use regular plans with Certified Financial Planner.

These funds will build wealth for later stages.

You can shift gains to the medium bucket after 5 years.

Step 4: Shareholding Review and Action Plan
You have Rs. 25 lakhs in shares.

Out of this, Rs. 12 lakhs are in losses.

Do not sell them in a hurry.

Some may recover if you wait patiently.

First, make a list of all companies and their quality.

Exit poor-quality stocks even at a loss.

Retain good quality stocks with strong future.

If the whole portfolio is confusing, take help from a Certified Financial Planner.

You can harvest the loss now to set off gains later.

Book losses smartly to reduce future capital gains tax.

After cleaning up, move the proceeds to your medium bucket.

Step 5: Mutual Fund Review
You hold Rs. 12 lakhs in mutual funds.

Find out the type of each fund.

If these are equity funds, hold them long-term.

If returns are low or risk is high, shift to hybrid funds.

Avoid investing in index funds.

Index funds cannot protect capital in falling markets.

They simply copy the market blindly.

Actively managed funds are safer.

Professional fund managers take timely actions.

They reduce your risk and improve consistency.

Step 6: EPF Strategy
You have Rs. 3 lakhs in EPF.

EPF earns stable tax-free interest.

Do not withdraw unless it’s urgent.

Keep it as part of your long-term reserve.

Step 7: Monthly Income Setup
Use short-term and medium-term buckets to get income.

Start SWP from mutual funds for Rs. 40,000 monthly.

Use fixed income tools for Rs. 30,000 more.

Review this every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust amounts if needed based on inflation.

Step 8: Tax Planning and Awareness
Income from mutual funds is taxable.

Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakhs taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per your slab.

Plan redemptions to avoid tax shocks.

Harvest profits in a planned manner.

Step 9: Avoid These Common Mistakes
Do not invest in real estate.

It is illiquid and needs physical handling.

Do not buy annuities.

They give poor returns and lock your money.

Do not fall for insurance + investment combos.

If you already hold such policies, review them.

Consider surrender if return is poor.

Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds.

Step 10: Use a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner gives structured and unbiased advice.

They help you with fund selection, SWP setup, rebalancing.

They guide you with tax-saving and risk control.

Their ongoing service is crucial at your life stage.

Choose someone with experience and clear credentials.

Finally
You are in a better financial position than many.

You have no loans, no dependents, and have built good savings.

With a calm and simple plan, you can replace your income safely.

You do not need to take risky steps now.

You have already shown strength by managing your life and job for 5 years.

Now your money should serve you with peace and stability.

Break your capital into buckets.

Get monthly income through safe withdrawals.

Review regularly with a Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid unnecessary complexity or noise.

You deserve a peaceful financial life.

Your health is precious. Let money be your quiet support.

Invest safe. Withdraw smart. Sleep well.

You are already doing well. Just add clarity and structure.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4496 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 09, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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