My husband and I love each other, but lately we've been having frequent arguments over small things. Even when we try to talk calmly, it often ends in frustration. How can we rebuild emotional intimacy and improve our communication without constantly triggering each other?

Ans: Dear SK, commenting on your body image honestly is no one’s business and by no one I also mean your husband.

He absolutely has no right to body shame you and make it a topic of jest.

The nest time, he calls you a spoilsport, please feel free to comment on his looks, his accent, his performance behind close doors and watch what his reaction is.

Sadly, his male ego will be hurt; at least it will give him an idea as to what he has been you through.

Communication as I mention must be firm and assertive; it must convey exactly what you want rather than what you don’t want.

And as far as it goes for you in-laws, ignore their childish behaviour towards you…honestly you cannot control anyone’s thoughts or actions and they are free to do as they please. But what gives them fuel is that you are provoked and hurt.

Is it possible to be unaffected by what people say of you and about you?

Yes, when you own your body image and are unapologetic about it!

Your body, your way…as simple as that and anyone has a problem with that, then it’s their problem!

Be at a lot of peace and act wisely!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Every long-term relationship goes through this phase. Don't overthink this. When you find yourselves getting into a fight, take a pause and give each other some space. For instance, if you see that a phone conversation is slowly building up to a conflict, hang up for 15 to 30 minutes. Take some time to think- sometimes that is enough for us to realize that our partner is not really being unreasonable or their point isn't exactly wrong. It's easy for people to be defensive at the moment. This small pause can help calm things down and revisit the conversation with a more problem-solving mindset.

Hope this helps.

Ans: It’s clear that you deeply care about your partner and the health of your relationship, but recurring arguments and a lack of expressed love are creating a disconnect. To nurture love and clarity in your communication, it’s essential to create an emotional space where both of you feel safe, valued, and understood—even during disagreements.

When arguments arise, they often escalate because emotions are heightened, and both people feel the need to defend their perspective. To shift this dynamic, start by focusing on emotional regulation in those moments. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re both on the same team, even if you see things differently. This small pause can prevent reactive words or actions that might escalate the conflict further.

Outside of conflicts, consider the daily emotional climate of your relationship. If love isn’t being expressed regularly, your partner may feel insecure or disconnected, which can intensify disagreements. Begin to nurture love by weaving simple but heartfelt expressions of care into your everyday interactions. This might be as simple as saying, “I appreciate you,” giving a warm hug, or acknowledging something they did, however small. These gestures build emotional reserves that make handling tough conversations easier because they remind both of you of the underlying bond.

When it comes to communication, try reframing the way you approach disagreements. Speak from your feelings rather than placing blame. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re not listening to me,” try, “I feel unheard, and it’s making me frustrated.” This subtle but powerful shift fosters understanding rather than defensiveness. Equally important is listening with an open mind. Practice reflecting back what your partner shares to show you’re truly hearing them. For example, “I hear that you’re upset because you feel I didn’t prioritize you—am I understanding that correctly?”

Love is nurtured in the moments between conflicts—through trust, small acts of kindness, and consistent emotional support. Reflect on what makes your partner feel loved and cherished, and intentionally incorporate those actions into your daily life. At the same time, share what you need emotionally so they understand how to nurture you too. This mutual exchange strengthens your connection and creates a deeper sense of partnership.

Finally, consider having a calm, heartfelt conversation about how you both want to handle conflicts and express love moving forward. Creating shared goals for your relationship can bring clarity and purpose, helping you both feel aligned. By approaching your relationship with patience, empathy, and intentional care, you can not only resolve current challenges but also nurture a love that feels steady, secure, and fulfilling.

Ans: Hello sir. As our relationship ages and the kids get old this is one of the most common problem couples face. Communication issues. This can be due to many reasons:
1. Responsibility of kids are increasing and so we get less time to self care and for ourselves. Due to which communication hampers
2. Our parents are getting old and the medical bills and medical problems both increase which creates stress within you and then in turn you are not able to communicate properly.
3. Your age is also increasing and capacity is decreasing due to which you may get irritated.
The solution to this is that you and your wife should take out just half an hour for yourselves specially in the morning for meditation and exercise. This will increase your patience level and happy hormones and your capacity to handle stress and problems will increase. Try this out and share your experience.
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
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