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Will I be able to marry my boyfriend before my parents force me to marry someone else?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Zeenat Question by Zeenat on Jan 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I have been in a relationship with him for 5 years and we want to marry . But the problem is that he has broken in the house or I am in the house. After 2 years of my marriage, my parents will marry someone else. Because he also has two brothers and sisters, they will get married earlier and my boyfriend will get married later, after 5 or 6 years, I have less time or there is no option for him too, he can marry me but after 5 or years. but i have less time because i am girl ( the elder daughter of the house ) , what should I do now?

Ans: Dear Zeenat,
I understand your problem. The best course of action would be to inform your parents about your relationship. Let them sit together and come to a middle ground, like an engagement or something that solidifies your relationship till your partner is ready to be married or his siblings are married off. This way, you both are compromising a little and yet getting somewhat of an official commitment.

But the first step is to bring the parents into the loop and see how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 24 years old and i have a sister who is 23 years old. I am dating a boy for 4 years and he is of same age. My bf has some finincial crunches and he is willing to marry at the age of 28. My parents are constantly pressurizing me to marry at the age of 25 which is next year. I don't know what to do at this time. I am working in IT sector and earning 4lpa and my bf is earning 7lpa. I am telling my bf to marry me next year but he is not ready as he also has a sister 1 year younger to him. What should i do in this situation? My sister has some issue with eye so definitely we will not get boy easily for her and my dad wants me to marry early so that he can focus on her marriage too. What should i do in this situation as i don't want to upset my family and i don't want to marry someone else too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

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My age is 25 years and my boyfriend age is 29 years. I have boyfriend and we are dating for around 2 years, we are thinking about marriage. My family members love him and his family members love me. But the situation is like this that, my elder sister is getting divorce so it will take time atleast 4 years. But we can't wait for 4 years because my boyfriend is from gujarat. So in Gujarat, families dont wait for long but in my case my boyfriend and his family members waited for 2 years. Because my family members are saying when my elder sister will get married then after my marriage will come. and my family members are brain washing me and my boyfriend saying that first elder sister should get married if it takes times 6 years still u have to wait. My family members are pressurizing me alot. Infact I discuss and my boyfriend discuss with my family members about the situation but my family is not understanding and they are just pressurizing me alot and making my life hell. Even my elder sister is saying to me that my colleagues are not getting married why u have to get married soon. But my point is that I m not kid I m 25 years old and because of her I m suffering alot because if she cant get married I cant get married this wrong. And because of taht me and boyfriend are arguing alot in this. Like If i waited for my elder sister divorce plus her marriage it will take around 4 years. But I dont think so this is right because of my elder sister I m facing issues and thats wrong. Because i dont know whether after divorce she will get married or not. So because of her I m suffering alot. And the divorce procedure will take 4 - 6 years. Because we dont know that how much time will it take for my elder sisters divorce because she is not doing normal one she has cased a file against jiju so thats why it huge procedure. So that's why we think that we will do court marriage in next month. We both have a support from his family members. His family members are saying that do court marriage without knowing any ones relatives and once your family agrees within this year then its fine but if not then you come here next year and we will do marriage for both of you. So this is right?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You need to make a decision for yourself after looking at all the pros and cons. How are you going to be able to handle your parents once you make the decision to go ahead with the marriage?
Also, on your part, you are right in asking, how long do you need to wait?
Before making a decision, always think far ahead as to how your environment will react and how you are going to handle all of it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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