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Girl in a 5-year relationship, wants to marry someone else but boyfriend's family customs delay marriage

Dr Upneet Kaur |81 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more

Question by Zeenat on Jan 08, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I have been in a relationship with him for 5 years and I want to marry someone else. But the problem is that he is smallest son in his family or I am in the house. After 2 years of my marriage, my parents will marry someone else. Because he also has two brothers and sisters, they will get married earlier and my boyfriend will get married later, after 5 or 6 years, I have less time or there is no option for him too, he can marry me but after 5 or years. but i have less time because i am girl ( the elder daughter of the house ) , what should I do now?

Ans: Dear mam, I can understand that you are going through some issues in your life but I am unable to understand your problem as there are some grammatical mistakes in the paragraph that you have written. I request you to plz rewrite your query and send it again.
Regards
Dr Upneet
Relationship counselor
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

RelationshipReply

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Ravi Mittal |721 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am 24 years old and i have a sister who is 23 years old. I am dating a boy for 4 years and he is of same age. My bf has some finincial crunches and he is willing to marry at the age of 28. My parents are constantly pressurizing me to marry at the age of 25 which is next year. I don't know what to do at this time. I am working in IT sector and earning 4lpa and my bf is earning 7lpa. I am telling my bf to marry me next year but he is not ready as he also has a sister 1 year younger to him. What should i do in this situation? My sister has some issue with eye so definitely we will not get boy easily for her and my dad wants me to marry early so that he can focus on her marriage too. What should i do in this situation as i don't want to upset my family and i don't want to marry someone else too.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

Mohit Arora | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I have boy friend we r in relationship from past 5 yrs now he's going to get married to some other girl bcoz of his family. We didn't even broke up each other, the one thing is I'm in my clg 2nd I have 3 more yrs left to finish my studies and my parents won't agree to marry him but if u want to get marry to him I have to finish my studies for me But he don't have a time he has to get marry this year he asked me shall I say with their parents but i haven't finished my studies so I said no And one more thing is we r ready to get married now also but i have elder sister she didn't get marry yet If I get married to him I have to live with him and should continue my studies but if I do that that may affect my sister's life What to do now ?? I'm so confused

Ans: It won't affect your sisters life.

Ravi Mittal |721 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

Dr Upneet Kaur |81 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 27, 2025

Question by Zeenat - Jan 08, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I have been in a relationship with him for 5 years and I want to marry someone else. But the problem is that he has broken in the house or I am in the house. After 2 years of my marriage, my parents will marry someone else. Because he also has two brothers and sisters, they will get married earlier and my boyfriend will get married later, after 5 or 6 years, I have less time or there is no option for him too, he can marry me but after 5 or years. but i have less time because i am girl ( the elder daughter of the house ) , what should I do now? I am confused ????

Ans: Hello mam
I understand that you are going through this problem. If you like someone, and you want to marry him, then you can talk to your parents. If both the sides agree then atleast you do a small ceremony and then wait for few years to settle down. But as in this process both the families are involved then should be agree to this. Talk to them and give yourself and your families some time to decide.
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

Ravi Mittal |721 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Question by Zeenat - Jan 08, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I have been in a relationship with him for 5 years and we want to marry . But the problem is that he has broken in the house or I am in the house. After 2 years of my marriage, my parents will marry someone else. Because he also has two brothers and sisters, they will get married earlier and my boyfriend will get married later, after 5 or 6 years, I have less time or there is no option for him too, he can marry me but after 5 or years. but i have less time because i am girl ( the elder daughter of the house ) , what should I do now?

Ans: Dear Zeenat,
I understand your problem. The best course of action would be to inform your parents about your relationship. Let them sit together and come to a middle ground, like an engagement or something that solidifies your relationship till your partner is ready to be married or his siblings are married off. This way, you both are compromising a little and yet getting somewhat of an official commitment.

But the first step is to bring the parents into the loop and see how it goes.

Best Wishes.

Latest Questions

Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by k - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

Hello sir. My son got 99.37 his general category rank is 10050 in maharshtra state in jee mains, 250 in bitsat. He is getting core subjects like ece, ee, in tier 2 nits and Iiits, as well as cse in coep, or tier 2 Iiits and nits like surat, Calicut, kurukshetra. And many such. Very confused which to choose. He doesnt have any hard opinion about branch selection. Also i dont know whteher to ho for ece, cse or specialized branches last ke Ai& ml or Data scienceKindly suggest which is better choice

Ans: Before answering your question, I want to clarify that, for BITSAT, a minimum score of around 250–260 is generally expected for MSc programs and 300+ for BE programs, so given your son’s 99.37 percentile in JEE Main and his appearance for JEE Advanced targeting IITs, it’s advisable not to prioritize BITS Pilani, as admission to top branches there is unlikely with this profile. You and your son should decide whether you prefer government or private colleges, or are open to both. All branches are good, and he should choose based on current interest while remaining adaptable if preferences change by the 2nd or 3rd year, besides considering job market trends. For example, a student joining ECE might later shift interest to CSE and succeed in software placements. Based on his JEE Main score, a tentative preference order could be NIT Calicut, Surathkal, Warangal, and Trichy (if available), then COEP Pune CSE, followed by NIT Surat, Kurukshetra, Calicut ECE/EE, tier-2 IIIT CSE, and specialized AI/DS branches only at reputed institutes. COEP CSE is a strong option with a 2024–25 average placement of ?11.62 LPA, a highest package of ?52.57 LPA, and a 91.82% CSE placement rate, so choosing COEP CSE over a lower-tier NIT EE branch and preferring a good NIT ECE over weaker IIIT or specialized branches are recommended. While AI/DS is promising, CSE offers broader flexibility. If your son performs well in JEE Advanced, these choices and options may improve significantly. It’s best to finalize after the JEE Advanced results are out. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

Sir, my son has scored 92.24 percentile in JEE Main exam and his all india rank 121271 and 40322 obc ncl category. Home state is TN. Is there possible admission at Puducherry NIT, Or else any core branch at Trichy NIT. He also preferring for JEE ADVANCED

Ans: Based on your son’s score, admission to NIT Trichy is unlikely. In 2024, the HS OBC-NCL closing ranks at NIT Trichy were approximately: Chemical Engineering around 33,075, Mechanical at 23,504, Production at 31,383, Metallurgy at 43,010, and Civil at 47,466. This means Metallurgy and Civil are borderline options but not safe bets.

For NIT Puducherry, chances improve in the CSAB Special Round, especially for branches like Mechanical, Civil, and Electrical. For example, the 2024 CSAB closing rank for Mechanical OBC-NCL female-only was around 52,681, though gender-neutral and core branch cutoffs vary by quota.

It’s advisable to fill choices for lower-preference branches at NIT Trichy, all branches at NIT Puducherry, and also consider NIT Andhra, NIT Goa, NIT Agartala, NIT Mizoram, and NIT Meghalaya in CSAB if these NITs are preferred over Trichy and Puducherry.

For stronger backups in Tamil Nadu, your son can participate in TNEA counseling, though it may be challenging for non-TN board students. Options include CEG, MIT, SSN, PSG, CIT, Sri Sairam, and Kumaraguru, depending on board marks.

Encourage your son to continue preparing seriously for JEE Advanced. If possible and affordable, keep 3-4 reputed private engineering colleges in Tamil Nadu as backups, such as SSN, SNU, Amrita, Sathyabhama, and Saveetha through other admission routes. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

Sir I scored 91 percentile in Jee mains, rank is 1.5 lakh. Which good chemical engineering government colleges can I expect? (home state is telangana)

Ans: At a 91 percentile and an estimated CRL around 1.5 lakh, securing Chemical Engineering at NIT Warangal is not realistic, as recent HS Open category closing ranks for Chemical Engineering were around 23,000–26,000, much higher than your rank.

Admission to Chemical Engineering in other NITs and GFTIs through JoSAA is also challenging at this rank. However, you should definitely participate in the CSAB Special Rounds, since vacant-seat cutoffs sometimes drop lower after JoSAA counseling. Use the official JoSAA archive and CSAB opening-closing rank data when filling your final choices.

More realistic government or state options are available through Telangana’s TG EAPCET counseling rather than JEE Main. Consider Chemical or allied branches in JNTUH-affiliated colleges, OU-affiliated colleges, and reputed Telangana colleges offering Chemical or related courses. Colleges like CBIT (Chemical), Chaitanya Bharathi, Anurag, VNR, and Vasavi could be good options if you have branch flexibility.

If placement is a priority, branches like ECE, Mechanical, Civil, or AI-DS in better private colleges might offer better prospects. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Rajesh - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

Hello Sir, My daughter has secure 35500 Rank in Jee main we r staying in Rajasthan... general category....... Not interested in South & east States .... Interested in MNC. CSE, ECE, ...Branches ... please advice for

Ans: Rajesh Sir, Based on your daughter’s score, admission to MNIT Jaipur for CSE or ECE is not realistic, as the 2024 HS female closing ranks were around 8,836 for CSE, 15,405 for ECE, and 21,644 for EE. However, branches like Civil or Metallurgy might still be possible, especially with some lower-branch movement seen in CSAB rounds.

She can consider applying to IIIT Una, IIIT Kota, IIIT Bhopal, IIIT Sonepat, IIIT Nagpur, IIIT Bhagalpur, GFTI PEC Chandigarh (for lower branches), and BIT Mesra through JoSAA and CSAB counseling.

It’s also advisable to keep these backups in mind: LNMIIT Jaipur, Thapar Institute, JIIT Noida, Nirma University, PDEU, Bennett University, Shiv Nadar University, UPES, and Manipal Jaipur. Additionally, fill REAP Rajasthan options such as MBM Jodhpur, CTAE Udaipur, and RTU Kota.

If placements in MNCs are a priority, choosing CSE, AI, or IT branches in good private colleges is often better than other branches in reputed institutes.

Finally, reviewing JoSAA opening and closing ranks from the past 2–3 years will provide valuable insights and help your daughter confidently select and maximize her preferred choices. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Anshika - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

My daughter has 80 percentile in jee mains in general ews from uttarpradesh please suggest me

Ans: Anshika Madam, At an 80 percentile, your daughter’s expected CRL rank may be around 2.5 to 3 lakh. Even with General-EWS category, chances of admission to NITs or IIITs through JoSAA, especially for CSE or ECE, are very low. She can consider applying for lower-demand branches in some GFTIs or newer, remote institutes if seats remain vacant.

CSAB conducts special rounds after JoSAA for vacant NIT and related seats, which she should participate in.

It is highly recommended to have backup options such as AKTU/UPTAC colleges, KIET, GL Bajaj, JSS Noida, ABES, Galgotias, NIET, and private universities like Bennett, Sharda, Chandigarh University, UPES, LPU, SRM North India campuses, and VIT-AP/Bhopal. For CSE-related branches, state and private counseling routes are the more practical approach, instead of relying only on JoSAA/CSAB. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Sidarth - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

Sir I have 93.5 percentile in jee mains and I am a kashmiri migrant i want to know that will I get top colleges of Maharashtra I have km merit rank in cap councelling of 28 based on last year out of 389 people and also please tell if the quota is in nits

Ans: Sidarth, With a 93.5 percentile and a KM merit rank of 28, your Maharashtra CAP chances are strong. Maharashtra CET rules treat J&K/Ladakh Migrant candidates separately, and for engineering admissions, a positive JEE Main score is given preference over MHT-CET scores.

You should aggressively fill choices including COEP Pune, VJTI Mumbai, SPIT Mumbai, PICT Pune, DJ Sanghvi, Walchand Sangli, Cummins, PCCOE, VIT Pune, and MIT-WPU. With a KM rank of 28, admission to top colleges is possible. However, CSE/IT in COEP, VJTI, SPIT, or PICT may be uncertain due to limited seats. Branches like ECE, AI-DS, ENTC, or IT in strong colleges are more realistic options. VJTI’s 2024 closing ranks indicate that CSE/IT branches remain highly competitive.

Regarding NITs, there is no general Kashmiri Migrant quota through JoSAA, as admissions follow CRL/category/HS-OS rules. The CSAB supernumerary quota in 2025 applied only to specific UT candidates, not broadly to KM. Nonetheless, it’s advisable to participate in JoSAA and CSAB counseling rounds.

Also, consider having 3-4 backup options to keep your chances secure. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

My daughter has got 93.91in jee 2026 with rank 95015 in general category and home state as delhi .please tell what are her chances of getting admission and branch in igdtu ,thapar and lnmit.Do IPU colleges in delhi hav good placements.please suggest some other good colleges for cse and related branches and ece

Ans: Based on your daughter's score, admission to IGDTUW is possible mainly in later rounds or spot rounds. For example, in 2023 Round-5 Delhi cutoffs (approximate), CSE closed around 58,531, IT at 66,326, AIML at 71,162, ECE at 90,900, and MAE at 1,03,589, making ECE and MAE more realistic options, while CSE and IT would be difficult.

Regarding Thapar Institute, the chances are better. In 2024, later cutoffs for Punjab quota showed Computer Engineering around 92,826 and ECE around 97,890, with some allied branches going much lower. For candidates outside Punjab, core CSE is tougher, but ECE, Electronics, and related branches in lower rounds could be worth applying for.

At LNMIIT, CSE admission is unlikely due to high JEE percentile expectations, but ECE might still be possible.

Consider IPU Delhi as a backup, along with reputable colleges like USICT, MAIT, MSIT, BVCOE, and BPIT, which have decent placement records. For detailed placement data, please check the respective college websites and online resources.

Other backup options to explore include JIIT Noida, Shiv Nadar University, UPES, Manipal Jaipur, Bennett University, and Chandigarh University. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Jagdish - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

My daughter got 95.92 percentile in JEE mains with 64228 crl and 9516 ews category. In which not or iiit she can get cse

Ans: Jagdish Sir, Based on your daughter's score, realistic chances for CSE or related branches may be found in lower-demand NITs and IIITs, primarily through the female quota and in later JoSAA or CSAB rounds. Institutes like NIT Mizoram, NIT Meghalaya, NIT Nagaland, NIT Arunachal Pradesh, and NIT Sikkim are worth trying, though CSE admission remains borderline.

In IIITs, options such as IIIT Bhagalpur, IIIT Ranchi, IIIT Kalyani, IIIT Una, IIIT Sri City, IIIT Nagpur, IIIT Dharwad, and IIIT Kottayam could be considered. While CSE might be challenging, branches like IT, ECE, or AI-related fields may be more attainable depending on how seat availability shifts round by round.

Additionally, reviewing JoSAA opening and closing ranks from the past 2–3 years can provide valuable insights and help your daughter confidently select and fill her preferred and maximum number of choices. Have 3-4 reputed private engineering colleges also as backup options. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Korampally - Apr 28, 2026Hindi

Career

I got 105000 rank in jee mains in which nit could I get ece seat

Ans: Korampally, with your score, securing ECE in any NIT is extremely unlikely. You may try for lower-preference branches if you still want to pursue an NIT. However, it's important to have 3-4 backup options beyond JoSAA and CSAB counseling rounds, so you’re not relying solely on those for admission. ALL the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |11191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 28, 2026

Question by Suman - Apr 27, 2026Hindi

Career

My son got 89 percentile in jee mains 2026 and got rank 58400 and can he get

Ans: You have not mentioned your son's home state. Anyway, please note he may get core or non-core branches in newer or lower-tier NITs, some IIITs, and GFTIs, especially in later JoSAA rounds, depending on the home-state quota and branch preferences. He can also target Tier-3 and Tier-4 NITs such as NIT Sikkim, NIT Manipur, NIT Nagaland, and NIT Arunachal for branches like Mechanical, Civil, EIE, Production, Metallurgy, and similar fields.

Additionally, exploring IIITs outside the top 5—such as IIIT Bhagalpur, IIIT Kalyani, IIIT Surat, and IIIT Kottayam—through JoSAA or CSAB rounds can be worthwhile.

Parallel options to consider include the CSAB Special Round, state government engineering colleges, and reputable private institutes in or near your home state. ALL the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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