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Girl in a 5-year relationship, wants to marry someone else but boyfriend's family customs delay marriage

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Zeenat Question by Zeenat on Jan 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I have been in a relationship with him for 5 years and I want to marry someone else. But the problem is that he is smallest son in his family or I am in the house. After 2 years of my marriage, my parents will marry someone else. Because he also has two brothers and sisters, they will get married earlier and my boyfriend will get married later, after 5 or 6 years, I have less time or there is no option for him too, he can marry me but after 5 or years. but i have less time because i am girl ( the elder daughter of the house ) , what should I do now?

Ans: Dear mam, I can understand that you are going through some issues in your life but I am unable to understand your problem as there are some grammatical mistakes in the paragraph that you have written. I request you to plz rewrite your query and send it again.
Regards
Dr Upneet
Relationship counselor
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
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I am 24 years old and i have a sister who is 23 years old. I am dating a boy for 4 years and he is of same age. My bf has some finincial crunches and he is willing to marry at the age of 28. My parents are constantly pressurizing me to marry at the age of 25 which is next year. I don't know what to do at this time. I am working in IT sector and earning 4lpa and my bf is earning 7lpa. I am telling my bf to marry me next year but he is not ready as he also has a sister 1 year younger to him. What should i do in this situation? My sister has some issue with eye so definitely we will not get boy easily for her and my dad wants me to marry early so that he can focus on her marriage too. What should i do in this situation as i don't want to upset my family and i don't want to marry someone else too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
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Sir my daughter got Air 31,203 (GEN category) in JEE Mains. She got NIT Calicut energy engineering and BITS UB 2+2 CSE. She is interested in both computer science and physics.Should she choose between the two or participate in csab. which would be the best choice? and is doing the bits ub 2+2 really worth its money based on how much they learn from both the colleges will it be equal to or better than normal bits CSE program.
Ans: Based on the following insights and information, as well as your daughter's interests and long-term goals & affordability of the fee, choose the most suitable option for her: The BITS Pilani–University at Buffalo 2+2 CSE dual-degree offers two years at BITS Pilani (or Goa/Hyderabad) and two years at UB’s Jacobs School of Engineering, delivering a unified NAAC A++ and NBA-accredited curriculum. It features PARAM supercomputing access, global immersion, capstone projects and a centralized Career Development Centre recording over 90% CSE placement consistency. The dual alumni networks and international accreditation improve top-tier software recruitment and global mobility; however, the total fees and overseas living costs are significantly higher.

As a general-category candidate, the CSAB-Special Round 2025 closing ranks for mid-tier IIITs and GFTIs provide tertiary backup options: IIIT Ranchi’s CSE (AI quota) closed at ranks 31,909–34,325, IIIT Manipur’s CSE-Quantum closed at ranks 45,341–53,737, and peripheral GFTIs such as PEC Chandigarh admit CSE candidates up to rank ~40,000. These options are less attractive than the secured dual degree and energy-engineering seats but remain feasible contingencies.

Recommendation
recommendation Embrace the BITS-UB 2+2 CSE dual-degree for premier global CS training, robust >90% placements, and dual alumni networks. Secure NIT Calicut Energy Engineering for specialized power-sector expertise and strong core-energy placements. Treat CSAB general rounds (IIIT Ranchi CSE, IIIT Manipur CSE-Quantum or PEC Chandigarh CSE) as third-tier backups, focusing on peripheral institutes with closing ranks above 31,203. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

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Sir my son got 77377 crl rank in mains and 24k obc ncl rank with homestate rajasthan can he get any college with branch like cse/it/ai/ece Or what about gl bajaj delhi
Ans: Ashish Sir, With an OBC-CL home-state rank of 24 000, admission into core branches at Rajasthan’s MNIT Jaipur and IIIT Kota via CSAB-Special is feasible for certain programmes, while seats at other NITs/IIITs will likely remain out of reach.

At MNIT Jaipur, the Home-State OBC-NCL closing rank for Computer Science & Engineering extended to about 49 000 in CSAB-Special Round 2, making CSE admission virtually assured with your daughter’s rank. However, ECE seats under HS-OBC-NCL closed near 3 400, and AI/Data Science around 6 800, both well below 24 000, so these branches are not attainable at MNIT Jaipur.

IIIT Kota, as a Rajasthan campus, offers Home-State HS-OBC-NCL seats in CSE closing near 67 000, Artificial Intelligence & Data Engineering near 10 500, and ECE close around 12 600, all of which comfortably cover an OBC-NCL rank of 24 000, making these programmes strong targets in CSAB-Special.

Beyond these, other NITs in non-home-state quotas (e.g., NIT Calicut, NIT Uttarakhand) and peripheral IIITs may fill seats well below 24 000 under OS-OBC-NCL quotas, but they will not benefit from Home-State priority. Government-Funded Technical Institutes like PEC Chandigarh and MIET Jhansi admit CSE/ECE under OBC-NCL up to ranks of 40 000–70 000, offering additional assured pathways. GL Bajaj Delhi, as a private institution, participates in state or university counselling (e.g., JAC Delhi), not CSAB, and hence is not an option in this process.

Recommendation
Prioritise Computer Science & Engineering at MNIT Jaipur under HS-OBC-NCL for its assured cutoff. Simultaneously apply to IIIT Kota’s CSE and AI/DE programmes under HS-OBC-NCL for guaranteed admission. As backups within CSAB, list IIIT Kota ECE and GFTIs like PEC Chandigarh for core-branch seats under OBC-NCL quotas. However, have some Private Engineering Colleges as back-ups with son's JEE Score instead of relying only on CSAB. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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