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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 24 years old and i have a sister who is 23 years old. I am dating a boy for 4 years and he is of same age. My bf has some finincial crunches and he is willing to marry at the age of 28. My parents are constantly pressurizing me to marry at the age of 25 which is next year. I don't know what to do at this time. I am working in IT sector and earning 4lpa and my bf is earning 7lpa. I am telling my bf to marry me next year but he is not ready as he also has a sister 1 year younger to him. What should i do in this situation? My sister has some issue with eye so definitely we will not get boy easily for her and my dad wants me to marry early so that he can focus on her marriage too. What should i do in this situation as i don't want to upset my family and i don't want to marry someone else too.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

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My age is 25 years and my boyfriend age is 29 years. I have boyfriend and we are dating for around 2 years, we are thinking about marriage. My family members love him and his family members love me. But the situation is like this that, my elder sister is getting divorce so it will take time atleast 4 years. But we can't wait for 4 years because my boyfriend is from gujarat. So in Gujarat, families dont wait for long but in my case my boyfriend and his family members waited for 2 years. Because my family members are saying when my elder sister will get married then after my marriage will come. and my family members are brain washing me and my boyfriend saying that first elder sister should get married if it takes times 6 years still u have to wait. My family members are pressurizing me alot. Infact I discuss and my boyfriend discuss with my family members about the situation but my family is not understanding and they are just pressurizing me alot and making my life hell. Even my elder sister is saying to me that my colleagues are not getting married why u have to get married soon. But my point is that I m not kid I m 25 years old and because of her I m suffering alot because if she cant get married I cant get married this wrong. And because of taht me and boyfriend are arguing alot in this. Like If i waited for my elder sister divorce plus her marriage it will take around 4 years. But I dont think so this is right because of my elder sister I m facing issues and thats wrong. Because i dont know whether after divorce she will get married or not. So because of her I m suffering alot. And the divorce procedure will take 4 - 6 years. Because we dont know that how much time will it take for my elder sisters divorce because she is not doing normal one she has cased a file against jiju so thats why it huge procedure. So that's why we think that we will do court marriage in next month. We both have a support from his family members. His family members are saying that do court marriage without knowing any ones relatives and once your family agrees within this year then its fine but if not then you come here next year and we will do marriage for both of you. So this is right?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You need to make a decision for yourself after looking at all the pros and cons. How are you going to be able to handle your parents once you make the decision to go ahead with the marriage?
Also, on your part, you are right in asking, how long do you need to wait?
Before making a decision, always think far ahead as to how your environment will react and how you are going to handle all of it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |392 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 14, 2025

Career
I'm preparing for Neet and wanted to take a drop but my parents wanted me to do something with it like a partial Drop......And right now I'm totally confused what to do and what not.........i think I should take BSC zoology in private colleges , can anyone suggest me something..........
Ans: Hi Prirhvi,

Based on your query, there are two main issues to consider:

1. You want to take a break (which may be partial or full).
2. You want to pursue a BSc in Zoology.

Before making any decisions, take some time to think and analyze your situation.

Firstly, evaluate your marks in the HSC and your recent NEET exam scores (if you have appeared for NEET 2025). If you have completed both exams, focus on turning your weaker subjects into strengths. Be prepared to answer any questions someone may pose. Without this preparation, taking a break may not be effective.

Secondly, if you decide to take a gap year, you should not also consider studying another course concurrently, as this could divert your attention and hinder your main goal. Remember, undergraduate courses are semester-based, meaning you will need to manage both NEET preparation and your regular UG courses (including internal exams, semester exams, etc.). Juggling both can be quite challenging.

If you believe it is possible to manage both, I suggest that instead of choosing Zoology for your UG, you consider subjects like Chemistry or Physics. These subjects are foundational and can be better understood through regular UG coursework. Therefore, you should not worry too much about that particular subject. However, it’s not advisable to select Zoology and take a break for NEET preparation at the same time. If you have doubts in Physics or Chemistry, you can seek clarification from your lecturers.

In summary, my suggestion is to concentrate on one goal and work towards achieving it.

BEST WISHES.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |113 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025
Career
I have always taken pride for being an empathetic and approachable leader at work. Over the years, my team members have confided in me about their personal losses, burnout, even interpersonal conflicts within the team. While I am glad that they trust me, I have also noticed that my tendency to take on their emotional weight sometimes clouds my judgment when it comes to managing performance issues. In one instance, I gave extended flexibility to someone underperforming due to personal stress, and it affected the team's morale. Do you think being a compassionate leader can affect my accountability? I feel they might be taking me for granted.
Ans: Hi!!
It is extremely important to have empathy and approachability as qualities in a leader. You have them so congratulations!!

As a leader it is important for you maintain a safe distance too , so that people don't take you for granted and that your judgement is not clouded.

You need to tell people that everyone has personal problems, so the only way forward is to shut them out when they come to work and perform to the best of their abilities.

You really can't quote one incident and draw conclusions here, you might have made a mistake as regards to this team member you are mentioning, it's ok , you are human. Forgive yourself and move on.
You need to find a balance between empathy and accountability...it's a tough job to be a leader, and a compassionate one that too. Apply the concept of "different strokes to different people at different times". Set boundaries, take care of yourself and your time. You must take care of your emotional well being too, you can't allow everyone to dump their baggage on you.

Take every experience as an experience to make you wiser, have a discerning eye and know when to put your foot down and when you need your inherent compassionate quality.

Enjoy being a leader...you really can make a difference in people's lives, but at the same time you have to take care of yourself.

All the very best...

...Read more

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