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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Ravi isn't it awkward when a girl brings along her bestie on the first date? I was quite annoyed actually. I casually tried to bring it up but she brushed it off saying her best friend knows everything. Is this very normal or does it mean the girl is not serious? I can't seem to understand what it means

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You are not wrong; it is absolutely awkward if someone brings a plus one on the first date. As a matter of fact, it is weird if someone brings a plus one to any date, be it the first one or the last.

Whether she pulled this off because she isn't serious about you is debatable; it is also possible that she asked her best friend to tag along and assess you because she is serious or maybe because of previous mistakes, but even then, it isn't okay to bring a friend on a date, especially if that's something you two never agreed upon.

It’s best if you have a clear discussion about the same and let her know that you did not appreciate bringing her friend on your first date.

Best Wishes!

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Hi, I am 28 years old, about to get engaged in couple of months. It's an arranged marriage. Before that I met with the girl. At our first meeting, she was little shy and hesitant at first but still we were able to have a good conversation. However after that, as usual parents wanted an answer and without beating around the bush, we agreed. Now we talk sometimes but mostly chat regularly but it always feels like I am the one who is putting more efforts like starting the conversation, giving gifts, cracking jokes.. sometimes it feels like an interview round like me just asking questions and she is just answering. Our chat does not last more than 5min. I just can't understand why is this happening. I am pretty confident talking to people but I can't find out why this is so awkward. Am I overthinking or is this normal?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You put too much effort only when you expect a certain outcome. Why don't you just enjoy getting to know her gradually rather than thinking what you have to gift her? Is it not possible to take it slow and see what comes out of it. Maybe she is rather shy and likes to take things slow?
And what's the point timing things like chats? It will always seem like it's less or not enough. What should be enough is that you and she like one another and start this journey together by accepting one another and not focus on what's not happening. If you are still in doubt, maybe what might help is doing things that she likes but together. You are putting effort in a manner that you know BUT is that the manner that she understands and responds to?

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