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Confused engineer wondering why girlfriend won't introduce him to parents

Ravi Mittal |584 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi

Hi, actually I am little confused there are 100's of thoughts coming in my mind about my situation right now, so what happened is my girlfriend's sister is going to get married and I assumed that she would invite me as a friend of her because her sister knows me, but my girlfriend said that are you mad or what I won't introduce you to my parents unless you get a job she says I would not introduce you as a friend but as a boyfriend, I know it seems right but its not like I am not able to find job I am already an engineer it's just I am preparing for the civil service exam so I didn't opted for the Job. So does that mean she is not confident about me being her future partner or its just parents fear or maybe something else

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

First, let's focus on the positive. Your partner does not want to introduce you as a mere friend. She wants to show you off as her boyfriend. That's good news. Next, the fact that she only wants to introduce you after you get a job does not necessarily mean she isn't confident about you. It can easily mean that she wants to make the perfect first impression with her parents. It is quite possible that her parents will react negatively when they hear you don't have a job and she is doing this in the best interest of your relationship.

The best thing is to directly ask her. Do not assume the worst.

Best Wishes.

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1600 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

Question by TG - Apr 06, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu, I am in a relationship with a girl from my office for nearly 1.5 years now. We both speak Marathi only sub caste is different.At start of our relationship we discussed about it as she tells me her parents will not support her, so I convinced her that I will support her in every way possible to convince her parent and will stand with her though every situation. I am 31 years old and she is 27. Her parents told her that she has 2 years for marriage so she is currently focusing on career right now.My parents are forcing me for marriage. As her family has issues with my subcaste and she is not willing to disclose our relationship for another 2 years. So I told her that I will wait for 1 year then we can disclose our relationship to both families mines and her, if your family agrees we can wait for one more year so that she can focus on career and she can get 2 years as per her parents. Moreover I will always support her in career and family issues. But still she is not ready she told me that she will not tell her family about our relationship until 2 years are complete. Can you please suggest me any solution for this?

Ans:

Dear TG,

At this point, what is missing for you possibly is if after the wait, if she will still be there in the relationship?

If she isn’t willing to complicate her family life at this point in time, I guess she has valid reasons for that which must be respected.

But what If the two of you sit down where you can put down your feelings and find an amicable way of easing this.

I am sure there are a lot of ifs and buts that is making you feel the way that you are. It is only imperative that you called out to her and be firm and assertive as to how this might be playing in your mind.

For all you know, once she hears your side of the story and she shares hers, solutions emerge from that especially when the commitment is strong.

So, have that one meaningful conversation where feelings, fears and insecurities are shared and watch how the two of you will come up with something wonderful as a solution.

All the best!

Relationship